Tag Archives: Lake Havasu

Swansea Here We Come!

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I finally get my BLM permit for Swansea.

Miners houses at Swansea Town SiteIn December 2004, I applied for a permit to conduct helicopter tours to Swansea Town Site. Swansea is a ghost town in a remote area of the Arizona desert, west of Alamo Lake, south of the Bill Williams River, north of Bouse, and east of Parker. I takes about 3 hours to get there by car — well, by Jeep, since a car can’t make it on the sometimes sandy, sometimes rocky dirt roads — and about 40 minutes to get there by helicopter. The idea was to take day trippers out to the town site, let them walk around with a BLM self-guided walking tour brochure, give them some refreshments when they’re done, and fly them back to Wickenburg. The trip would cost $495 for up to three passengers.

Miners houses at Swansea Town SiteYou might be asking why I need a permit to use public land. BLM, in case you’re not aware, stands for Bureau of Land Management. It’s a part of the Department of the Interior. Of the Federal Government. These are government managed lands that belong to the people. And the people can use them, as long as they follow certain rules. Among those rules are that if you want to make money by operating a tour or anything else on BLM lands, you have to get a permit.

I applied for that permit in December. It cost me $80 that was not refundable and there was no guarantee that I’d get the permit. Talk about gambling!

Of course, I didn’t get any response at all to my application. I followed up in January. That’s when I was told they needed more information, like proposed landing zones. So I took my helicopter, which was brand spanking new at the time, and my GPS, and John and Lorna, and flew out to Swansea. I landed on my preferred landing zone, which was near the middle of town, and walked around taking GPS readings of the places that would work as landing zones. I came up with about seven of them. I also took photos. One photo showed my preferred landing zone, which just happened to have my helicopter in it.

When I got back to my office, I fed the GPS coordinates into my mapping software to produce a topo map with the coordinates on it. I then numbered them in order of preference. I took the photos from the flight, stuck it in an envelope with a cover letter and the map, and sent it to BLM in Lake Havasu.

A few days later I got a message on my voicemail from BLM scolding me for landing at Swansea. It was my understanding that as a private citizen on personal recreation (not for hire), I was allowed to land on BLM land, as long as it wasn’t wilderness area or my landing would cause damage (common sense stuff). So I wrote a letter back to them. They replied grudgingly, in writing, that I was right. It’s one of those letters you keep, if you know what I mean.

Next, they told me they’d have to do an environmental impact study. This irked me for two reasons:

  • The majority of people who come to Swansea do so on ATVs and some of them have no qualms about tearing up the desert with their fat little tires. They don’t care about archeological sites or desert tortoises. Irresponsible. Yet when I land, my vehicle touches the ground in precisely two long places — where my skids touch down — and I don’t damage a thing.
  • This environmental impact study, which I thought was a waste of time and money, would be done with taxpayer dollars. I’m a taxpayer. And it made me wonder how much other wasteful spending BLM did.

But you can’t fight them. You really can’t. So although I voiced my protest and even wrote to my senators and congressmen, I had no choice but to wait.

In actuality, what I did was write off the $80 as a bad investment and swear I’d never send another dime to BLM.

Time passed. The guy who was working my case retired. I really didn’t expect to ever hear from BLM again.

Then, in December, my cell phone rang while I was at the airport putting away the helicopter after a flight. It was a new person from BLM. He introduced himself and said he was working on my application.

“Bad news?” I asked, figuring he was calling to say that it had been turned down.

“Well, no,” he replied, sounding a bit surprised. “At least I don’t think so. We’re almost done with the application and it looks like it will be approved.”

I tried not to sound shocked. He went on to tell me that he’d need BLM listed on my insurance policy as an additional named insured (no problem). We then had a very pleasant conversation about Swansea and what a great place it was. He was very friendly and knowledgeable and a real pleasure to talk to. I wrote his name and phone number down so I could follow up.

Of course, I lost that information. (if you saw my desk, you’d know why.)

Months passed. Then on Thursday of last week, my BLM man called again. He wanted to put the permit in the mail, but needed the insurance. No problem, I assured him. I’d fax it over. He gave me his name and fax number. (Can you believe I lost them again?) Today, I called the office, got the information I needed, and faxed over the insurance. And when I got home from work the permit was in my mailbox.

I still can’t believe it.

Now I know my original contact had warned me that the process could take as much as six months. Well, he really said 180 days. But maybe he meant 16 months? Or 480 days? Because that’s how long it took. The government doesn’t exactly move quickly. (Look at New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.)

The permit is a simple piece of paper. The letter that came with it has some restrictions that are easy to live with. Only 3 allowed landing zones — none of which is my preferred, but one of which is very good. A maximum visit of 2 hours — as if there will be someone there with a stopwatch to time us. No overnight camping. No more than four people total — that’s all that my helicopter can seat anyway, so it would be impossible to bring more.

My contact told me he needs to chat with me before I start using the permit. i’ll call him on Thursday.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to adding the Swansea Ghost Town tour to Flying M Air’s Web site.

2005 News

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Old news from my old Web site.

December 22, 2005
Informit.com has released my latest article for them, “TV to Go: Watching Video on Your iPod.”

December 19, 2005
How often do you get to land a helicopter right next to a major roadway? I did it at the beginning of the month for Don Green, who was photographing a bridge under contruction further up the road. He was kind enough to take a photo of me with Zero-Mike-Lima and e-mail it to me today. Is that helicopter RED or what?

December 15, 2005
Just got my advance author copy of QuickBooks Pro 2006 for Macintosh: Visual QuickStart Guide. It should be in stores within the next few weeks — just in time for a new year accounting software change.

December 14, 2005
Did my first Classic Rock Cuts radio show on KBSZ-AM. Many thanks to Miss Holley King, the Rock-a-Billy Queen, for helping me out, teaching me how to use the board, and e-mailing me a bunch of Webcam images (including this one) while I worked.

December 10, 2005
Took delivery of 28 baby chicks today! Unfortunately, I only ordered 12. Even worse, all the extra chicks, which were packed in for warmth in shipping, are males! Anyone want a rooster?

December 9, 2005
My Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Visual QuickStart Guide has been translated into French! Just got my author copy today and it’s just as big and fat as the English version.

December 5, 2005
Have just begun the major project of upgrading my Web server to Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Server. I’m sick and tired of the unreliable operation of WebSTAR and want to take advantage of all the cool Web publishing tools Mac OS X Server has built in. If you’re interested in this project, follow along in the “Call Me a Geek” category of Maria’s WebLog.

November 27, 2005
Just returned from a very short trip to the New York City metro area for Thanksgiving with my family. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

November 22, 2005
Just put the finishing touches on my latest book for Peachpit Press, QuickBooks 2006 for Macintosh: Visual QuickStart Guide. Look for it in stores in December.

November 18, 2005
Informit.com has published my latest article, “Yes! You Can Use Your GPS With Your Mac!“

November 14, 2005
I decided to simplify my podcasts and have merged Maria Speaks and Maria Speaks Plus into the original Maria Speaks podcast. I’m also actively seeking suggestions on topics for future podcast episodes.

November 13, 2005
Just finished up a busy weekend that included two big charters for Flying M Air: I took two people to Sedona and three people to the Grand Canyon.

November 10, 2005
MacDirectory’s Winter 2005/6 issue includes a rave review of my Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide. Read more on the companion Web site for the book.

November 7, 2005
After a careful comparison of service quality, I’ve decided to shift from Amazon.com to Barnes & Noble.com as my source for books—and my preferred vendor for my books. B&N simply offers better service. Bear with me as I change links throughout my site.

November 5, 2005
Went to a nice airport open house in Boulder City, NV. Mike flew us up in his plane. It was a real pleasure to go to a small-town airport event that was so well organized with so much to do and see.

October 30, 2005

Just had a great weekend in Glendale at the Thunderbird Balloon Classic and Air Show. Flew a total of 131 passengers in my R44, doing rides during the weekend-long event. Best of all, I got to park next to a pair of F-16 fighters while waiting for passengers.

October 20, 2005
I’ve discovered enhanced podcasts. Learn more on the Maria Speaks home page.

October 14, 2005
I couldn’t resist. I had a spare iSight camera with nothing much for it to do and decided to use it as a Webcam. So now you can watch me work. I put the image at the bottom of the Home Page. We’ll see how long it lasts. I’m not so sure I want to give my editors the ability to keep tabs on me when a deadline approaches.

October 10, 2005

My podcast, Maria Speaks, has finally appeared in the iTunes Music Store’s Podcast Directory. Search Podcast titles for Maria and it’ll come up. I seem to have caught a cold, but if I don’t sound too nasal, I’ll add a few episodes this week.

October 8, 2005
Just got back from a week-long trip to Maine. The fall colors were a bit disappointing, but I did get to experience two weather phenomena that I seldom see: fog and rain. Had a great time, but it’s good to be back in sunny Arizona.

October 1, 2005
Had a great time doing a presentation at the Tucson Apple Store. Had a good turnout with lots of folks who had great questions and tips. Thanks very much to the Apple Store folks for letting me come by.

September 26, 2005
After experimenting with podcasting by publishing KBSZ’s podcast, I finally got around to recording episodes of my own. Called Maria Speaks, it’s a sort of audio blog that includes information about my work and some tips and tricks for Macintosh users. To subscribe, use the URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/

mariaspeaks. I’ll also be publishing transcripts for entries related to a specific book on that book’s companion Web site, accessible from LangerBooks.com.

September 25, 2005
Had the weirdest flying day of my life: picked up two campers on top of a remote mesa, dropped 1000 golf balls onto a golf course green, and practiced flying in formation with a car. Want the details? Read more on Maria’s WebLog.

September 20, 2005
Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide has been translated into Dutch!

September 19, 2005
Just got back from a 4-day helicopter gig at the Mohave County Fair in Kingman, AZ. I took well over 100 people for helicopter rides — many of them for their first flight! Many thanks to Betty and Phil at the fair for helping make this a smooth (and profitable) gig.

September 14, 2005
Well, that didn’t last long. I gave notice at my coffee shop job. Too much time away from my office and too many editors asking for articles. I need to get back to my real work!

September 10, 2005
Finally completed the tale of my roadtrip. Read up in Maria’s WebLog.

September 6, 2005
I’m starting a job at the Old Nursery Coffee Company in Wickenburg. I’ll help out at lunchtime during the week, making sandwiches, espresso drinks, and smoothies, until the permanent helper returns from an Alaskan “fish camp” in November.

September 1, 2005
Just found out that a lot more people are reading Maria’s WebLog than I thought. It appears that my travel stories have become quite popular. Now if only I can find the time to write up the last day’s story…

August 31, 2005
Did a fun helicopter charter out of Prescott yesterday with three folks dropping paint bags to mark the corners of their remote property. I’m still trying to figure out why they chose lavender paint.

August 30, 2005
Made a last-minute trip to the FileMaker Pro Developer Conference at the JW Marriott Desert Ridge Resort today. Got a personalized demo of FileMaker Pro 8 and can’t wait to start using it.

August 26, 2005
Informit.com has published an excerpt from my book, Creating Spreadsheets and Charts in Excel: Visual QuickProject Guide, titled “Building a Budget Worksheet in Excel.”

August 25, 2005
I’m back from my trip. I put about 4,500 miles on my Honda S2000 visiting 9 states in 16 days. My favorite places: Goldfield, NV; Cedarville, CA; Redmond, OR; Hood River, OR; Walla Walla, WA; Lewiston, ID; McCall, ID; and Cascade, ID. You can read all about my trip in Maria’s WebLog. Thanks to the folks who used my special roadtrip e-mail address to suggest possibilities.

August 20, 2005
My 60th book, Quicken 2006: The Official Guide is now available. You can find this book at Amazon.com. All support for my Quicken books is on the McGraw-Hill/Osborne Web site.

August 15, 2005
My latest eBook, Maria’s Guide to Pubishing an iTunes-Compatible Podcast, has been picked up for distribution on David Lawrence’s 10QuickSteps Web site.

August 9, 2005
I’m off on a road trip. My search for a new home begins with a 19-day journey throughout the U.S. northwest. Follow my progress in my blog. If you live up that way and want to try to sell me on your town, e-mail me at roadtrip@theflyingm.com. No support questions, please—I’m on vacation!

August 8, 2005
I was taday’s guest on KBSZ-AM radio’s “Around the Town” show here in Wickenburg. Host Pete Peterson asked me about the podcasting work I’m doing for KBSZ as well as my recent books and helicopter tour business. Want to hear me? Visit www.kbsz-am.com and click the Podcasts link. The KBSZ podcasts are also available for subscription from the iTunes Music Store.

August 5, 2005
Informit.com has published my article, “Creating a Photo Book with iPhoto.”

August 4, 2005
I just finished my newest eBook, Maria’s Guide to Publishing an iTunes-Compatible Podcast. You can learn more about this book on the Maria’s Guides Web site. And if you subscribed to the LangerBooks.com notification list, check your e-mail box for a 20% off offer on the book—the offers went out today.

July 31, 2005
Flying M Air ended the month on a high note. In the past week, I’ve done 4 custom charters: 2 in the Wickenburg area and 2 to Sedona. (And I thought summer would be a dead season!)

July 29, 2005
Informit.com has published my article about Mac/Windows file sharing, “Setting Up Macintosh & Windows File Sharing.”

July 28, 2005
Appeared at the Las Vegas Apple Store this evening. Many thanks to the folks at Apple for having me.

July 25, 2005
My production Mac, a dual processor G5, is comatose. I dropped it off at the Chandler Apple Store for a new logic board. This $715 repair (ouch!) should be finished by Friday.

July 24, 2005
I’m back from Howard Mesa—at least for a while. It was an interesting and relaxing month away.

July 22, 2005
Informit.com has published the update to my Faxing with Mac OS X article, “Throw Out Your Fax Machine. All You Need is a Little Tiger.” (Hey, I don’t name them, I just write them.)

July 18, 2005

Apple’s eNews newsletter included instructions for getting a free copy of my eBook, Maria’s Guide to What’s New in Tiger. This offer is only available until July 31, so act now if you want your copy for free. Many thanks to Apple and Peachpit Press for making this offer available.

July 15, 2005
Informit.com has published my article on Widgets, “Widget Watch: Dashboard Widgets to Download Now.”

June 25, 2005
Well, I’m off to the middle of nowhere: Howard Mesa, AZ. Although I’ll be back once in a while during the summer, don’t expect many updates to this site. I’m going off-the-grid in the cool, high elevations of northern Arizona and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. I’ll be updating my blog while I’m away, so check in there if you want to see what I’m up to.

June 24, 2005
Finished my latest book revision. Sadly, I can’t say what it is! Look for it in stores in August, when I can reveal the big secret.

June 17, 2005
Just moved all downloadable files and book excerpts to a new, faster server. If you have trouble downloading any of these files, please use the Web Feedback form to report it.

June 16, 2005
Got the French translations for two of my books in the mail today: Creating Resumes, Letters, Business Cards, and Flyers in Word: Visual QuickProject Guide and Creating Spreadsheets and Charts in Excel: Visual QuickProject Guide.

June 15, 2005
Just updated my Calendar to add two rescheduled Apple Store appearances, as well as a helicopter rides gig in September.

June 4, 2005
Two good things today: First, our shed was finally delivered to our property at Howard Mesa. I’ll be going up there for July and August to escape the heat of Wickenburg. Second, I had a great presentation at the Chandler Apple Store. Many thanks to the folks there for hosting me. And if you’re wondering how I survived about 450 miles of driving in one day and was fresh enough to do an Apple Store appearance, here’s the answer: I didn’t. I flew. Total flight time was only 3.5 hours. Sure beats the 8 to 9 hours it would have taken by car!

June 1, 2005
Looking for a good deal on my books? I just discovered that Informit is selling all current Peachpit Press titles I’ve written for 30% off—if you’re an Informit member. Go to Informit.com and create a free account. Then click here to view a list of the books. That link will also display all of the articles I’ve written for Informit, all of which are free to read online.

May 28, 2005
Had a great time doing a presentation in the Biltmore Apple Store. The crowd may not have been large, but it was enthusiastic, and full of questions that I could answer. Many thanks to Robert and the other folks at the Biltmore store for having me.

May 27, 2005
Just got a call from my editor, Cliff. He was pleased to tell me that Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide is currently the #5 computer book. Cool!

May 20, 2005
InformIt has published my latest article on their Web site, “Publishing Your Photos on the Web with iPhoto.”

May 18, 2005
Added excerpts for my two new Maria’s Guide eBooks to the Maria’s Guide Companion Web site.

May 17, 2005
I just released the second eBook in the Maria’s Guide series: Maria’s Guide to Writing a Book Proposal. This book, which sells for $9.95, is available for immediate download via BitPass.

May 16, 2005
I’m the featured author on Peachpit Press’s Web site this month. Look for me right on the Peachpit home page! (Now cool is that?) Peachpit has published details about my Tiger Book Tour on its Web site. You can find other information about my upcoming appearances on my Calendar page.

May 15, 2005
Just got back from a weekend camping trip to the Groom Creek Horse Camp in Prescott, AZ. This excellent facility is one of a few campgrounds in the state that allow people to camp with their horses. We were part of a big group that included the Wickenburg Horsemen’s Association and the Morgan Horse Association (of Prescott). There were great rides every day, up in Prescott’s cool pines!

May 13, 2005

It’s final! I’ve sold the 5-unit rental property I owned here in Wickenburg. That’s a big weight lifted off my shoulders. Best wishes to the new owner. (Better her than me!)

May 12, 2005
Informit has published an interview with me called “Ten Questions with Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide Author Maria Langer.” The article page also has a link you can click to buy the book for 40% off—heck, that’s cheaper than I can buy it!

May 9, 2005
Finished my first eBook in the Maria’s Guide series: Maria’s Guide to What’s New in Tiger. This eBook, which was written to introduce Mac OS users to the new features of Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger, sells for just $9.95 and is available for immediate download via BitPass.

May 7, 2005
Just got back from a helicopter trip to Georgetown, CA (near Sacramento). It was about 11 hours round trip. You can read the details in Maria’s WebLog.

May 5, 2005
Had a busy day with Apple. First, I took part in an AppleCare Vendor Fair in Elk Grove, CA. Later, I did a presentation at the Apple Store at Arden Fair, Sacramento, CA. Had a great time and met a lot of really nice people.

April 29, 2005
It’s out! My Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide was released today with Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger. Look for it in bookstores or on Amazon.com.

April 26, 2005
Next week, I’ll be flying out to the Sacramento area to do an appearance at an AppleCare Vendor Fair and the Arden Fair Sacramento, CA Apple Store. If you’re in the area, I hope you’ll stop by and say hello. Check my Calendar page for more information.

April 22, 2005
Updated my Calendar page to add some upcoming appearances at Apple Stores.

April 21, 2005
Appeared at an Apple Vendor Fair in Austin, TX. Got to meet a lot of the Apple support folks. Also, Apple has been plugging my book in its Apple eNews.

April 12, 2005
Apple Computer, Inc. has just announced the release date for Mac OS X Tiger: April 29th. Oddly enough, that’s the same day my book should get to bookstores!

April 8, 2005
Just finished up Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide. The book goes to the printer on Monday and should be in stores by month-end. Order your copy in advance from Amazon.com at a savings of 34% off the cover price.

April 2, 2005
Brought Zero-Mike-Lima to Buckeye Municipal Airport for their annual Air Fair event and took 65 people for rides. More the half the passengers, many of whom were kids, had never been in a helicopter before. Some of them had never been in any kind of aircraft! Had a lot of fun, even though I was flying nonstop most of the day. My thanks to the Buckeye Airport Manager for inviting me and helping to make the event a success.

March 29, 2005
What a nice surprise! Found translations of my Creating Resumes, Letterhead, Business Cards, and Flyers with Word: Visual QuickProject Guide and Creating Spreadsheets and Charts with Excel Visual QuickProject Guide on my doorstep this morning. In Italian! The books are in a smaller format and kind of cute.

March 20, 2005
Just got back from a trip to Lake Havasu City, where I was offering helicopter rides for spring break at a local resort. What a waste of time! All those kids care about is beer and boobs. Needless to say, I won’t be back next weekend.

March 14, 2005
Have finalized arrangements with the airport manager at Buckeye Municipal to offer helicopter rides there for their upcoming Air Fair on April 2. If you’re in the Phoenix area, I hope you’ll stop by for a visit — and maybe a ride!

February 24, 2005
I just discovered that you can link to my InformIt articles on Peachpit’s Web site. The benefit: the articles can be read without looking at all the advertisements for high-tech stuff on the page. The drawback: they’re still using a very old photo of me on the book/article list page. Ick.

February 23, 2005
I spent about two hours with iPhoto 5 this morning, creating the Flying M Air Memory Book, a photo album featuring photos from helicopter tours and destinations. The book will be available for sale on the Flying M Air Web site.

February 22, 2005
All the rain we’ve been having is getting a little too close for comfort. My office ceiling developed a leak that drips down about 18 inches from my chair!

February 21, 2005
Got my new business cards, rack cards, and post cards for Flying M Air. They all look great! I spent most of the afternoon distributing the rack cards at Wickenburg area businesses kind enough to let me display them.

February 18, 2005

I’m back at work on my Tiger book. Apple’s getting closer to software completion and I need to be on top of things to get my book out on time.

February 12, 2005
I “rescued” Arizona State Historian Marshall Trimble from the Kay El Bar Ranch in Wickenburg. He was trapped between a flooding river and a flowing wash and needed to get out. I picked him up in my helicopter, took him for a quick tour of the town, and dropped him off at the airport. My reward? An interview on the Arizona Almanac radio show.

February 9, 2005
Got my FAA Part 135 Certificate for Flying M Air. This means I can provide charter and air-taxi services with my helicopter.

February 1, 2005

Just set up a new WebCam for wickenburg-az.com and this one has live motion video! Check it out at http://66.218.237.73:81/Jview.htm and enter visitor as the User ID (leave the password field blank). It appears that WebCams are hot on wickenburg-az.com so I may be adding more in the future.

January 27, 2005
Have been playing with iCal on and off all day long, while writing about it for my Tiger book. Discovered a Web site where you can generate custom calendars based on Amazon.com book publication dates. So I created one for my books (just so I know when I’m supposed to be finished). Weird! Click here to subscribe.

January 23, 2005
Did some air-to-air photography with Jim Wurth and got a few good photos of Zero-Mike-Lima for my Flying M Air marketing material.

January 18, 2005
I’ve decided to try a mentoring program and am actively looking for people interested in writing computer how-to books. Click here to learn more.

January 15, 2005
Had a great day flying at Robson’s Mining World. Took 47 people up for rides — many of them for their first time. Many thanks to the folks at Robson’s for inviting me to be part of their anniversary celebrations.

January 13, 2005
I took Flying M Radio off the air today. It’s cool to broadcast, but not worth having my G5 turned on 18 hours a day.

January 11, 2005
Informit has published my latest article for them: “Absolutely the Last Article You Need To Read About Absolute References in Excel.”

January 7, 2005
It’s here! I went to Torrance, CA yesterday and managed to escape from LA with the new helicopter before the weather closed in. Photos to come.

January 3, 2005
Just accepted an invitation for a radio interview on KBSZ-AM, Wickenburg’s local radio station. Tune in to 1250 AM at 9 AM on January 5 (this Wednesday) to hear me.

January 2, 2005
Got back from a much-needed weekend away, in La Jolla, CA (just north of San Diego). We traded desert for seaside, basic American dining for gourmet cuisine. (The dining choices reminded me why people live in cities.)

A Good Attitude

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I’m happy to be appreciated.

Yarnell Daze is coming up in May. It’s an event that’s been happening just about every spring in Yarnell for the past 30+ years. It includes a parade, art fair, car show, and all kinds of other activities for people of all ages. A lot of fun up in Yarnell, high above the low desert just as the low desert is starting to really heat up.

Years ago, I noticed someone giving helicopter rides as part of the Yarnell Daze festivities. He was flying out of a lot beside the Mountainaire convenience store (Woody’s) in Peeples Valley. I only saw him one year and that’s because I was just driving through on my way home from Prescott.

So I figured I’d call the Yarnell Chamber of Commerce and ask if I could do helicopter rides for them. There was a machine when I called. (There’s always a machine when you call. I don’t think Yarnell’s Chamber of Commerce is very busy.) So I left a message. And so began our game of telephone tag.

Someone from the Chamber called back and said they were thrilled that I’d called. Thrilled. Wow. Can’t help liking that attitude. Her message said their first Yarnell Daze planning meeting was coming up on a Monday in February and could I attend? I checked my calendar and called back. I told the machine I’d be out of town that day (I was going to be at the Grand Canyon doing a mule trip I’d planned eight months in advance). Then I didn’t hear anything for a while.

I called back early this month to see where things stood. I left another message. Someone named Linda called back and left a message for me with a different phone number. I called back and actually spoke to Linda. Their second meeting was March 28. Could I come? I put it on my calendar.

The meeting was at the Buzzard’s Roost, an interesting little cafe on the north end of town. The Buzzard’s Roost was always a funky, kind of junky-looking place that specialized in smoked food — ribs, pulled pork, etc. It was tiny inside — maybe six tables? — and had a few tables outside. Then someone came along and fixed the place up. They enclosed the outside with clean, neat-looking siding, removing the outdoor seating and making the place look….well, normal. Around that time, the bikers stopped coming in and the place looked empty all the time. It had been stripped of character. Then someone must have woken up to the fact that the place’s old funky look was part of its formula for success. They somehow managed to make it look weird and funky again, added more outdoor seating, and parked an old Harley out front. Now it’s the same old place it was but bigger and people stop in for meals again.

I stepped inside, wearing my freshly pressed Flying M Air oxford shirt and feeling a bit out of place. There were people there having breakfast, but no big groups. A woman at the counter looked at me and said, “Yes, this is the meeting.” Her name was Wendy and with her was a man who turned out to be the cook. When he went into the kitchen to get to work, I noticed that he wore a western style holster under his apron with two revolvers tucked inside it. I don’t think they were fake.

Wendy owned the Buzzard’s Roost and was evidently part of the Yarnell Chamber. She was excited that I’d come and excited that I’d be doing helicopter rides. In fact, she told everyone who walked in or called on the phone while I was there that they’d be having helicopter rides at Yarnell Daze. I know she was more excited than I was. We talked about pricing, hours of operation, etc.

Then she asked me if I could be in the parade. She wanted me to hover down the street. Wow. I’ve always wanted to do that. I know I have the skills required. But the downwash would create hurricane-like winds as I passed. It could blow up dust and tiny pebbles. It could get in people’s faces or eyes or damage property on the parade route. I had to say no. But I promised to do a low fly-by during the parade.

Wendy suggested advance ticket sales. A great idea, especially after the farce at Lake Havasu City. I’d know in advance how many people I could expect at a minimum. We’d do advance ticket sales at a slightly lower price, to encourage people to buy before the event. The tickets would have time slots on them, so not everyone would show up at once. She could sell them at the Buzzard’s Roost, which would help her draw people in. All I had to do was create the tickets and a bunch of flyers.

Linda came by and we talked about landing zones. That’s the only thing that bothered me about the gig: the proposed landing zone was all the way out in Peeples Valley, about three miles further up route 89. Not exactly the in-your-face LZ I like to have. The presale tickets would help get people out there, but didn’t they have a better location?

A man having breakfast, who’d already chatted with me about doing aerial photography from the helicopter, suggested a field near “Choo-Choo,” the train museum at the edge of Yarnell. Linda and I scoped it out when we went to check the Peeples Valley LZ. We both agreed it was better. Linda had the job of finding out who owned it and getting their permission to operate there.

That in itself was weird. Most hosts require that I find and get permission for landing zones. Yarnell was doing everything for me.

Want to know something else that was weird? Linda told me they have insurance and I didn’t have to worry about it. Wow. Normally, the big stumbling block for these events is insurance — hosts normally want to make sure I have it and add their names as additional named insureds. It’s become part of my planning ritual for events. So I told Linda that I have insurance, too. I produced the certificate and made her take a copy. I told her that I pay a ton of money for my insurance and I wanted everyone to know I had it. She took it — probably just to be polite.

Yesterday, I had all the tickets and flyers ready to bring to Yarnell. But I don’t get up there too often so I wanted to mail them up. This way, they’d get them right away. So I called Wendy at the Buzzard’s Roost to get her address. They don’t have mail to their physical address in Yarnell. It’s all Post Office boxes. She told me that she appreciated me doing this. As if I were doing her a favor. I told her that it was my pleasure, that Yarnell was a pleasure to work with, and that I hoped I met their expectations.

And I meant it.

It’s nice to see a Chamber of Commerce that actually works hard to ensure the success of its events, one that invites local businesses to participate and makes it easy for them to do their part. A Chamber of Commerce with a positive “can-do” attitude rather than the “why should we do something for you?” attitude I’ve seen all too many times around here. I think I’ll be joining the Yarnell Chamber of Commerce. It’ll be a real pleasure to support such a good organization.

Now if only all of my helicopter ride hosts were as pleasant and accommodating as Yarnell.

Too Old for a Helicopter Ride?

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And people think I say bad things about seniors!

About two months ago — maybe longer — I wrote to Bud Carr, president of Rainbow Parks, Inc. Rainbow owns a number of 55+ trailer parks, including North Ranch, which is halfway between Wickenburg and Congress on Route 89.

Last year, when I had Tristan’s helicopter, I’d landed in a big open area at North Ranch to talk to the folks that run the park about doing helicopter rides there. I’d already had successful events at Stanton (the ghost town, which is inhabited by members of the Lost Dutchman’s Mining Association) and at Robson’s Mining World. At all of these events, the vast majority of my passengers had been aged 55+. Landing the helicopter at North Ranch got a lot of attention (it usually does) and lots of folks seemed interested in rides. But the manager told me I’d have to write to the head office to get their approval.

So I did. And after more than two months, the head office answered me. And I still can’t believe what they said.

“Thank you for your proposal,” Mr Carr wrote. “Due to the age of our members and concerns about liability and insurance, we are not able to allow you to give helicopter rides at our property.”

I added the bold italics. It’s that phrase that really tweaked me. (I’m used to the insurance argument and have enough insurance to satisfy most folks.) It’s obvious to me that Mr. Carr believes that his members are all half dead or too feeble to enjoy a scenic helicopter ride.

Any of the hundreds of people who have flown with me over the past five years can attest that a flight with me is nothing like an amusement park ride. Blood pressures will not rise. Hearts won’t fail. Arteries won’t harden and clog. I’ve never had a passenger complain about a flight; I’ve never had a dissatisfied customer.

“Due to the age of our members…”

A few weeks ago, I took a 90-year-old woman and her 88-year-old brother on an hour long flight up the Salt River from Mesa to Roosevelt Lake. They were like two kids in there, talking about the rock formations and the boats on the lakes and the greenness of the desert. The woman had been wanting to fly in a helicopter for more than 40 years, but her husband had asked her not to. Her children knew how much it meant to her. My helicopter and I were her birthday surprise.

“Due to the age of our members…”

In January, I was part of the Anniversary Celebration entertainment at Robson’s Mining World in Aguila. I took 47 people on flights that day and more than half of them were over 55. In fact, when I arrived at 9 AM, there were eight “seniors” waiting for me. They’d driven to Robson’s from their 55+ park in Hope, AZ specifically to fly with me.

“Due to the age of our members…”

This past weekend, I wasted my time at Lake Havasu City offering helicopter rides for spring break. Thousands of college students had descended on the city and its resorts. I waited with my helicopter in a parking lot at one of the resorts, right where all the kids could see us. I took a total of seven people for rides in two days. And do you know what? All seven of them were older than me. (I’m 43 these days.) Two of them were over 70. One woman was a nervous wreck when we took off, but ten minutes later, as I made my approach to land, she said, “Oh, that was too short! I want to do it again.”

Where were the kids? Maybe they were too young to enjoy a helicopter ride. (In reality, all they were interested in was beer and boobs. But don’t get me started about that.)

“Due to the age of our members…”

But the folks at North Ranch won’t be getting helicopter rides there. Bud Carr thinks they all have one foot in the grave.

And this guy is the company president?

Gone to the Birds

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A little bit about the birds in my life.

This morning, my rooster started crowing at 4:03 AM. I know this because I heard him. We’re getting on to the time of year when you can leave windows open all night. I think one of the bedroom windows must be open a crack because I heard him quite clearly this morning. I was already awake, of course, so it didn’t really bother me. It just reminded me that I have a rooster. And it made me wonder whether my new neighbors — the folks that moved into the pink house on 328th Avenue — could hear him. And whether he bothered them.

My closest neighbors must hear him pretty good. I asked them once if he bothered them and they assured me that he didn’t. They like the sound. That’s good to know. But when you consider that he does most of his crowing before sunrise, it makes you wonder how early they get up.

One of my other neighbors had a rooster for a while. I could tell because I’d hear crowing far off sometimes, when it wasn’t my rooster. Then the crowing stopped and I knew the coyotes had paid Mr. Rooster a visit.

The coyotes have paid my chickens numerous visits. The first time was way back with my first batch of 8 chickens, all hens, which I used to let out during the day. They’d come down the driveway to where the horses live and spend the morning scratching around in the sand for bugs and other chicken delicacies. One afternoon, when they all came back to roost, there were only five of them. Three had disappeared without a trace. You’d think the horses would protect them, but no. Horses have no interest in chickens.

A funny story here. Every night during the summer’s monsoon season, we have to move our horses out of their lower corral, because it’s in a flood zone, to spend the night in their much smaller upper corral. The upper corral has fence-hung feeders. I’d go to the upper corral in the evening and prepare it by adding hay and a grain mixture we call “bucket” to each feeder before bringing up the horses. The chickens were usually out and about and even though they don’t have enough brains to fill a shot glass, they figured out that there was grain in the feeders. So once in a while, they’d hop up there and scratch around a bit. One day, when I brought the horses up, Jake, our unflappable Quarter Horse, stuck his head in his feeder to get at the grain and immediately pulled it out. A chicken popped out, onto the ground, and ran away. Jake seemed to let out a deep sigh before he stuck his head back in for dinner.

I currently have three hens and a rooster. Over the years, I’ve lost lots of chickens to coyotes, which is why a coyote tail hangs from my Honda’s rearview mirror. More recently, however, the problem has been my neighbor’s dogs. I like my neighbors and I like their dogs. We live outside the town limits, at the end of a dead-end road. There are only three houses out here and we all have dogs. Although leashes are technically required — this is Maricopa County — none of us pay much attention to that. Instead, we’ve trained our dogs to stay nearby. Dogs don’t necessarily understand property lines, so our dogs occasionally stray onto each others’ property. No big deal there. My neighbor’s dogs, Bo and Trixie, often come up to my house to visit my dog, Jack. Sometimes they go down to the wash and play together. They play rough — too rough for my brother’s dog, who came to visit for Thanksgiving. But they have fun and they don’t really bother anyone.

That is, until Bo and Trixie discovered that if they dug under the fence, they could get at the chickens. The fence was my effort to contain the chickens so the coyotes would stop getting them. Coyotes are evidently lazy and are not interested in the hard labor of digging under a fence. Bo and Trixie, on the other hand, like to dig. The chickens gave them a reward for good digging. So one day, they dug under the fence, got in, and had a good chicken dinner, leaving only two live chickens behind as mute witnesses.

At first, I thought the coyotes had done the dirty deed. But then I realized that whoever had done it had left parts. Coyotes don’t leave parts. They take the whole chicken in their mouth and trot off with it. I’ve seen them do this. But I wasn’t putting two and two together yet so I figured it was the coyotes. So we reinforced the bottom of the fence with stakes and filled in the holes and got some more chickens, including the current rooster.

One day around Thanksgiving, I’m lounging around the house with my house guests and there’s a knock on the door. That in itself is amazing; no one ever knocks on our door. No one can ever find our house. If you know where our house is, it’s likely that you know us well enough to just open the door and holler “Hello?” I opened the door and found my neighbor’s three little kids standing there. They’re aged 4 to 8 or something like that. Two boys and their older sister. “Our dogs are eating your chickens,” they reported.

I threw on my shoes and ran down the driveway, followed closely by my brother and whoever else was around. Sure enough, the dogs were in the chicken yard. But these chickens had some survival skills — quite impressive for chickens — and had retreated into the upper part of the coop. The dogs were unable to catch them.

We got the dogs out and secured the chickens in the upper coop, where I knew they’d be safe. We patched up the hole Bo and Trixie had made. And a few weeks later, we installed an electric fence around the outside bottom edge of the fenced-in yard. I was there one day when Bo touched it. He went yelping back home and didn’t return for over a week. Needless to say, they don’t try getting into the chicken coop anymore.

The chickens, however, must be traumatized by all these close calls. Only one of the three hens lays eggs. I get about 5 eggs a week from her. The other two are freeloaders. They don’t know how lucky they are. My chicken-raising book advises you to eat the chickens that stop laying.

PhotoI also have a bird in the house. Alex the Bird is an African Grey parrot. As I type this at my kitchen table, Alex is practicing his vocabulary. “Jack, no! You’re bad! Are you cranky? Hello Mikey. Are you a duck? Gimme that thing. Jack, no! Alex! Hey goober. Fatso. Come on Jack. Wanna go upside down? Are you a chicken? Are you a cow? Are you a cranky bird? Ricky bird. Alex, are you cranky? Alex is a maniac. Okay, Alex the Bird. Hello. Hey, you goober. See you later alligator.” You get the idea. He’s 2-1/2 years old and he says a ton of stuff. In fact, he’s forgotten half of what he used to know. It’s pretty amazing considering that he’ll live to be about 50. By the time I’m dead and gone, he’ll be talking better than most people I know.

Alex also does sound effects, like the dog whining, my cell phone, and the squeal of the back screen door (which no longer squeals, but Alex squeals anyway every time we open it). He whistles pretty darn good, too. Right now, I’m teaching him the theme for the “Andy Griffith Show,” which I downloaded from the Internet. Every once in a while, I play it a few times for him. He practices in the morning — like right now — and I repeat back the part he’s trying to do to reinforce the correct stuff.

African Grey parrots are incredible companion pets. They thrive on attention and will learn to say whatever you take the time to teach them. Like all other birds, they’re messy, but if you have a dog that likes bird food, a lot of the mess is cleaned up as it happens. Every morning, in fact, when Alex has his breakfast (scrambled eggs), he drops half of it on the floor where Jack is waiting to gobble it up. Sometimes I think he drops the food on purpose just to watch Jack.

Unlike the typical African Grey (at least according to most books and articles I’ve read), Alex is extremely affectionate and likes to be cuddled. I hug him every morning before I put him back in his cage for the day and every night before I put him back in his cage for bed. He also likes to play rough. I hold him upside down by his feet and tickle his belly. Although he makes some fussy noises sometimes — his way of saying, “Cut that out!” — I know he likes it. It’s the attention, I think. He trusts me and knows I won’t hurt him. So although our rough play should be scary to him, it isn’t.

There are a lot of wild birds around Wickenburg, too. Hummingbirds abound. I used to keep feeders filled for them, but I’ve been slacking off. I don’t spend enough time at home to watch them. There are also quail, doves, Gila woodpeckers, thrushes, orioles, and more others than I know. When I had my office in the house, I recall looking up out the window one morning to see a Gambels quail dad leading his six or seven baby chicks to a shady spot in my flower garden. I watched them lounge for quite a while, transfixed. The babies were so cute! Then dad decided to move the troop on and they hopped out of sight.

We also have roadrunners here, although I don’t see them very often. Roadrunners are most often found in sandy washes and places where they can find lizards and snakes, which they eat. I was in Lake Havasu City the other day, chatting with some folks at the Nautical Inn when we spotted a roadrunner standing on the deck of a building less than 50 feet away. One of the men told us a story about an exchange between a roadrunner and a coyote that he had witnessed. The two animals faced off with a long chain-link fence between them. The roadrunner made cackling noises, and walked back and forth on his side of the fence, teasing the coyote. The coyote walked back and forth. Little by little, the roadrunner and coyote got closer and closer to the end of the fence. Finally, the coyote seized his chance. He took off, darting around the edge of the fence. But the roadrunner was quicker. He took off (they do know how to fly) and sailed over the fence, landing on the other side. Then they faced off again, on opposite sides of the fence, and the roadrunner started cackling all over again. It was quite clear who was smarter (in case those cartoons didn’t convince you) and the roadrunner was definitely having some fun at the coyote’s expense.

We don’t get many birds in the yard anymore, probably because of Jack the Dog. He chases all animals out of the yard. That’s okay, though. There are plenty of other places for them to go. I’m sure I could get some back if I put out seed for them, but Jack is actually quite good at catching doves and I really don’t want to see any more dead doves on my doorstep. (And they say cats are bad.)There are three red tailed hawks in the area. They live near the golf course on Steinway Road. I often see them together on the power lines there. The are also turkey vultures in town. They just got back from wherever it is that they go for the winter. They look wonderful in flight and many observers mistake them for hawks. But there’s no mistaking them when they’re on the ground around a dead cow. They’re downright ugly!We have owls, too. There was one that lived in the state land out behind my house. Every evening, just after sunset, he’d fly out for his nighttime hunt. He’d land on a tree behind our house and hoot for a bit, then soar past our house and land on the top of a power pole on 328th Avenue. We saw him nearly every day for weeks. And we often saw or heard him coming in early in the morning. But one day, he misjudged his landing on the power pole. His wings evidently touched the power lines in just the wrong way. Fried. We found him on the ground near the power pole. The next day, his body was gone.

That’s the way things are here in the desert. Every animal — dead or alive — is a meal for another animal. Nature keeps a delicate balance here that really isn’t a balance at all. For example, because of all the rain we’re having, there’s a lot of grass. That means there’s plenty of food for the rabbits. That means there will be plenty of rabbits this spring and summer. Rabbits are good food for coyotes. So next year, there will be lots of coyotes. It happened the last time we had an El Niño year, so I know what to expect.

That’s all for now; I need my second cup of coffee. And my rooster is crowing again.