Dining in Sedona

Disappointing, I’m afraid to say.

Oak CreekEarly this year, in February, Mike and I took Mike’s mom to Sedona for an overnight trip. While we were there, we thought it might be nice to return in the autumn to enjoy the fall colors. After all, there are trees in the area. Oak Creek Canyon is full of them. We figured they must shed their leaves in the autumn like the trees we knew back east.

So we made reservations at Sky Ranch Lodge, one of Sedona’s best kept lodging secrets. We made those reservations in February for this past weekend in October.

One of the nice things about Sky Ranch Lodge is that they allow pets. This worked out really well for us because we wanted to do some hiking, which Jack the Dog loves to do, too. And, as usual, we had trouble finding someone to bird-sit for Alex the Bird (mostly because he’s mean to just about anyone except me). So we brought the both of them with us.

It was actually kind of comical. Imagine a Jeep Wrangler with the back seat pulled out. Now add a birdcage, a standard wheelie bag, a small cooler, two canvas bags of stuff, and a border collie/australian shepherd mix. All that’s in the back. In the front are two full-sized people. Now imagine this Jeep load driving from Wickenburg to Sedona, by way of Yarnell, Peeples Valley, Wilhoit, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Jerome, and Cottonwood. With a nice stop along the way at the Cornerstone Bakery in Yarnell (excellent, as usual) and Murphy’s Grill in Cottonwood (highly recommended). We arrived at 1:30 PM to check in and, after some confusion about the reservations (they were in Mike’s name, not mine), we were told to return at 4 PM when the room was ready.

We spent the next two hours traveling around the area, climbing up Oak Creek Canyon to the view point at top, and hitting the local natural grocery story, New Frontiers, where I was tickled to find a cheese counter with a man who actually knew about cheese. I left $98 there and we headed back up to Sky Ranch with two bags of cheese, crackers, and other snack foods.

Our room wasn’t a room. It was a cabin right on the mesa’s rim, overlooking the town of Sedona and all those wonderful red rocks to the north and west of it. Two queen beds, a kitchenette, sofa, table and chairs, gas fireplace, and private deck. I set Alex up on the coffee table and we spent some time unpacking. Then we watched the sun set from the comfort of the deck, each with a glass of wine and Jack curled up at Mike’s feet.

Very nice.

Dining wasn’t quite so nice.

Now if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that food is a major part of my life. I like to eat. I like to eat well. I don’t always get a chance to eat well, but when the opportunity is there, I usually take advantage of it. And since Wickenburg is not exactly a hotbed of fine dining opportunities (more on that elsewhere throughout this blog), any time we’re out of town is a potential opportunity for something new and different to eat.

Even the cheese counter at New Frontiers was something far and beyond what I can get at home, so it really isn’t hard to please me.

Last time we went to Sedona, we ate at Shugrue’s Hillside. It’s a relatively posh restaurant with $$$$ prices (in the usual $ to $$$$$ range). The food was fine but the waiter was absolutely horrible. He insisted on calling Mike’s mother “sweetheart,” even after we asked him not to. He tried serving our main course while we were eating our salads (no, I didn’t let him get away with that), and he made one other major infraction (which I can’t recall at the moment). He completely ruined my meal. An expensive meal that I paid for. I gave him a crappy tip and complained to the manager about him.

We didn’t go back there this past weekend.

Instead, we tried a place recommended by Dee at Sky Ranch: Savannah’s. It seemed like a nice enough place. But I made my first mistake when I asked the hostess not to seat us next to the live music. (I really don’t like loud music when I eat. Maybe it’s because I can’t chew, swallow, and listen at the same time.) She evidently didn’t have anyplace else to seat us indoors, so she took us outside to show us the “cabin,” which she said was a more intimate dining room. FIne with me. Unfortunately, she stopped at what appeared to be a tent that had been erected along the way. It was decorated with black and white sparkly fabric and had white Christmas tree lights all over it. There were people sitting at tables eating and outdoor heaters keeping the enclosed area warm. It looked like a wedding reception sans bride and groom, with a handful of guests who didn’t know each other.

“Unless you’d like to eat in here?” she suggested. She looked at Mike.

Mike was zoned out from the cold he’s battling and hadn’t heard about the intimate dining room that was a bit farther down the path. “Fine with me,” he said. I kept quiet. Mike’s a lot pickier than I am about where we sit in restaurants and I was afraid he wouldn’t like the other option.

So she sat us in the tent.

I watched a waiter greet another table. He was extremely professional and pleasant. At least we’ll get good service, I thought to myself.

Wrong! Our waitress bounced up to the table. She was typical dumb blonde material, about 22 years old, and dressed in a ridiculous outfit that included a short black and white striped skirt (think referee), black pants, and a black shirt. She told us briefly about the specials, managing to make them sound not very special at all, and made some inane comments which completely turned me off. Then she bounced away, leaving us to stare at each other in dumb shock.

At the next table, the professional waiter was providing detailed information about the specials, filling us in on what we’d missed by sitting at the wrong table. In a tent.

The beverage consultant, Steve, greeted us next. He looked like a cleaned up hippie, but was also professional, knowledgeable, and friendly. He promised to return once we’d studied the wine list.

After a while, our waitress bounced back in to take our order. We ordered Chateaubriand for two. The restaurant had “toppings” and sides. Toppings were additional sauces or other things that you could put on top of your meat. She suggested hollandaise — which made me cringe. We both chose caramelized onions. She then attempted to take our beverage order. At first, I told her the wine we’d been thinking about and she wrote it down, but then I told her I wanted to consult with Steve to get his opinion. She disappeared to get him. Heck, if there’s a beverage consultant available, I may as well make use of his services. I could learn something new.

Turns out, the wine I’d chosen was no longer available — how would the waitress have handled that, I wonder? — and Steve suggested an alternative. When he returned to serve the wine, I was very glad. Just the other day, some dimwit waitress had tried to serve us wine and had spilled a good portion of it on the tablecloth and all over the outsides of our glasses. Steve was extremely capable and — dare I say it again? — professional. That’s a nice thing. When you’re spending $50+ on a bottle of wine, you want all of it to get in your glasses. (And yes, I know that $50 isn’t a lot of money for a bottle of wine in a restaurant. But that’s about the high end of our budget, so it’s a lot to us.)

The dippy blond remained outside the tent for about 20 minutes. We talked and watched the other diners get service from their servers. Then she bounced back in with two shot glasses of an extremely icy sorbet. Raspberry and basil, she said. Okay. She bounced back out. We ate it. It was weird but not bad. Just icy. Like with little bits of ice in it.

The busperson (is that what they’re called these days?) appeared to remove our empty shot glasses. Even he was giving better service than our waitress.

She bounced in after another fifteen or so minutes to tell us that our meal was next. While we waited, we watched the other tables be served salad by one of three different servers. One of them (a woman) had tattoos on her back. She’s also the one who told the table next to ours that there was chocolate soufflé for dessert, but it needed to be ordered with dinner because it took 35 minutes to make. Chocolate soufflé! Now that’s not something we’re likely to get in Wickenburg.

When our waitress bounced back in with our meals, I said, “I heard a rumor there was chocolate soufflé for dessert.” To her credit, she didn’t miss a beat. “Did you want some of that?” she asked. “I’ll put in the order.”

We started eating our excellent meal. The beef was tender without an ounce of fat on it and cooked to perfection. The accompaniments were delicious. And the wine was perfect.

But I think I had scared our waitress with my soufflé comment. She started checking in on us. She’d bounce over to the table and ask how everything was. Then she’d pick up the wine bottle and gingerly pour about 1/2 ounce in each glass. She did this three times. I think she realized that her tip was in jeopardy and was trying to make up for it. Too little, too late. I was still wondering why we were the only people in the tent who didn’t get salads.

She returned after our plates had been cleared and took orders for coffee (me) and tea (Mike). She brought them quickly. My coffee was cold and weak. That probably isn’t the restaurant’s fault. Most restaurants seem to serve coffee-flavored water. Unfortunately, I like the kind of coffee you can’t see through if you pour it in a glass cup.

Then she brought the soufflé. She placed it in front of Mike, dug a little hole in it with a spoon, and poured some kind of sauce in the center. Then, thankfully, she went away.

The soufflé was out of this world. Worth sitting in a tent to eat. And worth dealing with an airhead bouncy waitress.

She bounced back with the coffee pot to warm my coffee and bring the check. I told her not to bother; the coffee was too weak to drink. She offered to make me a fresh pot. I told her not to bother (it would just be as weak as the first pot; that stuff is premeasured), that I’d just finish my wine. She looked at the check and said she’d take the coffee off of it. I told her that wasn’t necessary but would be nice.

I paid the bill. I didn’t give her a good tip. But I didn’t stiff her, either.

All the way back to the lodge, Mike and I debated how a good restaurant could hire a waitress like that.

My Jeep in SedonaThe next day, we took the Jeep and Jack the Dog out on Sycamore Pass Road, which winds through the desert to the Dogie trailhead. We went for a short hike and I managed to twist my ankle so badly that I thought for a while that it was broken. Mike and Jack hiked without me, leaving me in the shade to study the maps and think deep thoughts about nothing in particular.

Afterwards, we went back into town, where Mike bought an ankle brace for me. We put it on, then headed out on Dry Creek Road in search of a good picnic spot. Mike found a good spot on a little hill just before the second trailhead. It looked out on the red rocks with a golf course and very large house beneath them. Picturesque. We set up the folding chairs I keep in the back of the Jeep and used the top of the cooler as a table. Then we dug into that wonderful cheese, along with some olives and salads we’d also bought at New Frontiers.

TlaquepaqueLater, we visited Tlaquepaque. Although the merchandise in the shops is generally priced above our budget, it’s a very pleasant place to walk around. My bum ankle slowed me down a little, but we still managed to stroll the whole place before returning to the Lodge.

Dinner that night was another less-than-perfect experience. It was a Sunday night and we figured that with all the weekenders gone, we’d have no trouble getting a seat in a restaurant. Not true.

The first place we went to, a Japanese place on Jordan Road, had some empty tables, but the person at the desk told us they were “completely full.” I like to think that he was talking about people who had reservations and were expected shortly. They didn’t have a sushi bar to sit at, so we left.

We left Uptown Sedona and headed west on 89A. Mike was looking for a restaurant he’d seen earlier in the day. We couldn’t find it. We wound up at Reds, the restaurant in the Sedona Rouge hotel. It was about 6:30 PM at this point and only half the tables in the smallish dining room were full. A hostess seated us with a pair of menus, along with what she said was the Specials menu. It was a Dessert menu. We watched one waiter go from table to table, apologizing for the wait. That’s when we realized that there was only one waiter. Good thing the restaurant wasn’t full.

We didn’t have to wait long at all for the waiter to visit us. He traded the dessert menu for a specials menu and took our drink orders. The hostess brought them a short while later. When the waiter returned to take our order, we ordered three appetizers off the two menus. We weren’t terribly hungry so soon after our huge cheese lunch. We like variety in our food and often order a bunch of appetizers rather than two main courses.

Little did I know it then, but this would put us at the very bottom of the waiter’s priority list when the restaurant started to fill up. We waited a good 20 minutes for the first appetizer and then another 15 minutes for the other two. The waiter was working on all the tables around us, handling them rather well. He had a full staff of buspersons to help him out with the basics like clearing plates, filling water glasses, delivering food, etc. But somewhere between the first appetizer and the second two, he began to openly ignore us. He asked the couple at the table beside us how their salad was three times (the last time, the salad plates had already been cleared), but didn’t visit us at all. This continued after we finished our meal and the plates had been cleared. I was looking forward to the banana crepe I’d seen on the dessert menu, but I had no opportunity to order it. We sat for at least 20 minutes waiting for him to come by or to get the opportunity to flag him over. He was completely ignoring us and doing it in a very obvious way.

He finally stopped by and offered us our bill. He did not ask if we wanted dessert or coffee. Just the bill. Since I didn’t want my dessert for breakfast, I took it.

Now I don’t want you to think we ordered three appetizers because we’re cheap. That’s not the case. Our bill for two drinks and three appetizers came to over $70 — which is the same as it would have been if we skipped the appetizers and ordered two entrees. And I don’t think I’m being unfair to the waiter in expecting him to pay a little bit of attention to us, even though the restaurant was filling up and he was the only server. I just think he was suffering from what Mike and I now call the “Sedona Syndrome.”

The Sedona Syndrome is a hospitality industry affliction. Its symptoms include a poor attitude toward the throngs of tourists that flow through the place on a regular basis. Since most of these people don’t live in town, hospitality people don’t have to worry about return business. And since there’s such competition for restaurant seating, they can treat customers any way they like because there’s always someone out there to fill a seat. In other words, service doesn’t matter.

This, I believe, is the fault of the customers. People are so willing to accept poor service that few hospitality industry folks in tourist destinations (and elsewhere) are motivated to provide good service. After all, why go the extra mile if your clientele are willing to settle for the first 20 feet?

The next morning, we went to the Sedona Airport Restaurant for breakfast. (Pardon me if I don’t link to their Web site; it revolves around a stupid animation with music and I just can’t support that kind of Web work.) We sat by a window overlooking the runway and had a good, inexpensive meal served by someone who actually seemed to care that we were there. The best service of any restaurant we’d visited in Sedona.

Later in the day, on our way back to Wickenburg, we stopped at the Asylum at the Grand Hotel in Jerome for lunch. I highly recommend this place. It sits high on the hillside, overlooking the Verde Valley. We had an excellent lunch of interesting and well-prepared food served by a waiter who was pleasant and attentive. Our lunch with tip wasn’t cheap, but it was worth every penny.

But that was to be expected. We were not in Sedona.

What Ever Happened to Honesty and Integrity?

Am I asking for too much?

Am I asking too much when I expect elected officials to be honest and forthcoming with their constituents?

Am I asking too much when I expect elected officials to put the needs and desires of the voting public before their own?

Am I asking too much when I expect elected officials to actually care about the people they serve?

I am disgusted by the political bullshit going on in this country and in my adopted home town. It makes me sick when I see who’s paying off who and the benefits contributors get. Whether it’s lobbying expense accounts in Washington DC or campaign contributions to town council candidates in Wickenburg, the people accepting these bribes — because that’s pretty much what most of them are — should be ashamed of themselves.

The next time you go to the polls, be prepared. Know what the candidates stand for. Learn who financed them. Understand why they are running. Know how they will vote on issues. Make sure you vote for the person, not the sign on the side of the road.

Don’t be lazy. The wrong vote can have catastrophic consequences for your future.

If you’re sick and tired of elected officials making decisions that benefit themselves, their families, and their rich friends, do something about it. Vote to make a change. It’s your right and your responsibility.

Election Day is November 7. Don’t let the rest of us down.

A Whinny in the Night…

…means there’s something wrong.

Horses are generally very quiet animals. They spend their lives eating, pooping, and sleeping. And they do it without vocalizations.

So when I woke last night at about 1:30 AM to the sound of a horse whinnying, I didn’t just roll over and go back to sleep.

Although Wickenburg has traditionally been a horse-property town, the new subdivisions going in all over town don’t allow horses. How could they, with lot sizes shrinking from over an acre per house (we have 2-1/2 acres) to 1/2 acre or less? Even the subdivisions with relatively large lots bordering open land — Saddle Ridge comes to mind — have prohibited horses. Many horse people are moving out of town and existing horse property is being bought by newcomers who don’t have horses. So while there used to be nine horses in our immediate area, there are now only five. And two of them are ours.

Jake and Cherokee at Howard MesaJake and Cherokee are a pair of Quarter Horses. Jake is a former ranch horse that was likely abused — or at least handled roughly — during his working life. He’s very hand shy — don’t try to pet his face! — and doesn’t like to be bothered on his free time. To him, that means any time there isn’t a halter on his face or a saddle on his back. But get him saddled up and he’ll do whatever you want. Jake’s about 25 years old now, which is getting up there in years for a horse. He’s sorrel (reddish brown) and has a swayback. He’s the alpha male in our little herd, bossing around his buddy and terrorizing any other horse we might put in with them.

Cherokee is a paint Quarter Horse. He’s a very pretty boy and he knows it. Previous owners spoiled him and neglected to train him properly, so when we got him, he was difficult to handle and rather “bratty.” Over time, I showed him who was boss. He still tries to get away with things — stopping for no reason on a trail, dancing around while being saddled, biting Jake’s back leg on a trail ride — so whoever rides him has to be on constant vigilance. We don’t put visitors on Cherokee’s back. Cherokee taught me how to fall off a horse — and it took me several lessons over that first year to get it right. I taught him that rabbits were nothing to be afraid of. He’s about 17 now and very fat because he manages to eat more than half the food when we feed the two horses together.

Anyone who thinks that horses are just big dumb animals have obviously not spent any time around horses. Each horse has its own personality and, once you get to know a horse, you can predict what he’ll do in any situation. Jake is all business. He’s calm and will never kick or bite anyone — including another horse — while under saddle. You could drive a freight train right by him while there’s a rider on his back and he’d probably stand his ground until the train was gone. He’s very standoffish when he’s not working. Cherokee is the complete opposite. He’s friendly and will often come up to the fence when another rider goes by, just to silently say hello. He’ll always come to the fence when our friend Pete comes by with his grandkids or when John and Lorna stop by. He knows they bring treats and he wants to get the carrot or apple they’ve got for him. He loves to be petted and brushed and talked to. But get a saddle on him and take him out on the trail and you never know what might spook him or how he’ll behave.

The two horses are buddies, although it wasn’t Jake’s idea. Jake seems to hate every horse while Cherokee seems to love every horse. So when we first put them together, Jake would chase Cherokee away from him and his food and Cherokee would keep coming back for more. He’d be bitten and kicked but he’d take it like a dope. In time, he wore Jake down and now Jake doesn’t chase him off so often. It’s like he’s given up because he knows how useless it is.

Of the two of them, Jake is more vocal. He whinnies around feeding time, when he sees one of us around the hay shed preparing the food. It’s like he’s nagging us. “Hurry up! I’m hungry.” It’s an impatient whinny. Although Cherokee’s life revolves around food, he’s quiet about it.

The only other time they’ll whinny is when they’re separated. Horses are herd animals. They like to be together. When one of them is taken out for a ride or to the vet without the other, the remaining horse whinnies. Sometimes they both whinny. But if the one taken out is with other horses, he’s okay and usually stays quiet.

Sometimes when you get a bunch of strange horses together — like when we go on a trail ride with the Wickenburg Horsemen’s Association — they’ll whinny at each other. But our boys don’t usually participate in that ritual. They’re generally very quiet.

So when I heard a whinny in the middle of the night, I knew something was up. And since only two houses in the neighborhood have horses, there was a good chance that the problem was in our corral.

Now a lot of people who don’t live in a warmer climate think that horses live in barns. In colder climates, they often do. But not in Arizona. Most of the horses that live in Arizona live outdoors year-round. Our boys have two corrals: a large acre+ enclosure down in the wash (a dry riverbed) that runs through our property and a smaller pen with a turnout halfway up the driveway to our house. They spend the day together down in the wash, unless heavy rain is possible (and the wash could run). They eat their morning meal of alfalfa and grass and stretch out on the sand in the late morning for a nap. They spend the afternoon nibbling on whatever grass is left or biting the seed pods off the mesquite trees around them or just standing around the water trough dozing. At around 6 PM, we move them to the upper corral, where each of them has his own enclosure. We separate them in this area so Jake has enough time to eat. He eats more slowly than Cherokee and if they were always together, Cherokee would always get at least 3/4 of the food. We feed them alfalfa and grass, as well as a concoction we call “bucket” that includes red beet pulp, grain, bran, and a bunch of other stuff to add nutrition and keep their digestive systems clear. Jake also gets a “senior” pelleted feed and pelletized alfalfa to help fatten him up. If we didn’t do this, his ribs would show all the time.

Although they’re in separate enclosures, the two enclosures are adjacent to each other. In fact, you have to walk through one of them to get to the gate of the other. So they’re together. They just can’t share their food.

The other day, Jake wasn’t feeling too well. He was lethargic in the morning and we thought he was sick. Possibly with colic, a digestive problem that kills horses. We got him to the vet and he was checked out. The doctor gave him a shot and he seemed okay.

So when I heard the second whinny in the middle of the night, I thought of Jake.

Mike was awake as I pulled on my sweatpants. I asked him to come with me. I told him I was afraid of what I might find. We got a flashlight and started down the driveway. I immediately saw Jake, standing in his part of the corral, looking up at as as we came down. He was fine.

But Cherokee was nowhere in sight and the gate to his part of the corral was wide open.

Remember what I said about separation? Cherokee had wandered off and Jake was missing him. Thus, the whinny.

Now there were only two places he would have gone by himself. The closest (but less likely) was the lower corral. We walked down there and peeked in. The gate was open and there was no food down there, so there was no reason he’d be hanging out. He wasn’t. But it made sense to check there first.

The more likely destination was our neighbor’s horses. Remember what I said about horses liking to be together? We crossed the wash to their corral while Jake whinnied again behind us. My flashlight picked up Cherokee’s brown and white coat immediately. But he was inside one of their spare corrals. And when we got there, we found the gate securely latched behind him. He gave us a typically dopey look as we put the lead rope around him and started walking home. Our neighbor’s dog barked like crazy. Jake whinnied. One of our neighbor’s horses whinnied. It was a heck of a racket at 2 AM.

We walked Cherokee up the driveway and put him back in his corral. We opened the gate between the two horses. We closed the outer gate and secured it with a chain. That chain had been bought years ago when Jake learned to open gates. It appeared that Cherokee had learned the same trick.

In the morning, our neighbor stopped by to tell us our horse was in his corral. It was still dark and he didn’t realize we’d already retrieved him. He said that he’d been wandering around their place at about 10:30 PM. They’d caught him and put him in the corral for safekeeping. I’d figured it had been something like that.

But what I still can’t figure out is why he left in the first place. It’s so unlike Cherokee to take a walk by himself. The last time he’d opened the gate, he’d just hung around near Jake until we found him.

Could it be that our fat little boy is growing up?

Front Wall of Hopi House

At the Grand Canyon.

About 100 years ago, when the Grand Canyon was starting to get developed as a tourist attraction, the Fred Harvey Company owned the big hotel, El Tovar. Mr. Harvey commissioned architect Mary Colter to design and oversee the construction of Hopi House, which was completed in 1905.

imageMs. Colter, a talented woman in a male-dominated field, designed the building to resemble the Native American homes built by the Hopi people on the Hopi Mesas. Having seen those homes firsthand, I can verify the resemblance. The building appears, from the outside, as a series of stone boxes, joined in an almost random pattern. As if a smaller home was repeatedly enlarged with additional rooms. This photo shows the front wall of one of those boxes with another wall (on the right) that’s set back.

I’m a big fan of masonry structures — I really like the way stone buildings look. This building was made with local stone and looks like it belongs in its location in Grand Canyon Village, across the drive from El Tovar.

In the old days, Hopi people actually stayed in the upper floors and on the roof of the building. There are photos in the Grand Canyon archives of Albert Einstein standing in a group of these people, wearing an Indian headdress. (To my knowledge, none of the Arizona tribes ever wore a headdress like the one on Einstein’s head in the photo — the same one depicted in so many Hollywood westerns.)

Today, Hopi House is a gift shop with merchandise ranging from tasteful tourist souvenirs to high quality, Native American-made pieces. The upstairs room, when open, is museum-like; that’s where you’ll find the best (and most expensive) merchandise the current concessionaire, Xantera, has to offer.

Buy on RedBubbleThe full-frame version of this photo is available for sale as cards and prints at RedBubble.com

How Much, How long?

The financial dynamics of selling helicopter rides.

I went down to Goodyear, AZ yesterday to offer helicopter rides at the Goodyear Balloon & Air Spectacular. This was my second year doing rides at the event; last year I did them at Glendale as a subcontractor for another helicopter operator. This year, when the event was moved to Goodyear (a Phoenix-managed airport), the paperwork requirements were more stringent. The other company couldn’t get their paperwork together on time. They dropped out. I had all my paperwork in order. I did the show without them.

First I need to say something about the show. Formerly known as the Thunderbird Balloon & Air Classic (and still run by a company of the same name), the event is a combination balloon gathering and air show. The balloons, which can only fly early in the morning or in the evening, do their thing in their time slot. I wrote last year about walking among the balloons during the nighttime glow and about arriving at the airport as the balloons were departing at dawn. It was an incredible experience. Oddly enough, most people don’t go to the show for the balloons. They go for the air show which goes on during the day. There are aerobatic displays, war birds, F-16s, and this year, the Blue Angels. On the ground, there are food vendors, car and motorcycle dealers, navy recruiters, carnival rides, and souvenir sellers. There is literally something for the whole family. And although it ain’t cheap to attend — $15/adult, less for children and seniors — it’s a great event for a family to attend together: outdoors, surrounded by history, technology, and carnival food.

This is an extremely professionally run event, with excellent management and crowd control. The entertainment is top notch and the announcer is incredible. There’s no shortage of staff members to help with a problem. And the Air Boss, who works behind the scenes with the pilots and airspace, is safety-conscious, reasonable, helpful, and well…professional. I cannot stress what a pleasure it is to work at an event that’s so well run.

Unfortunately, the new venue at Goodyear had a bit of a dust problem. Instead of being on pavement like the vendors were at Glendale last year, they were on dirt. Which turned to dust. Even the water truck couldn’t keep up with it. Thank heaven it wasn’t windy like it always is in Kingman for the Mohave County Fair.

And unfortunately for us, my landing zone was about a mile away, near the main terminal building. (On concrete, thank heaven.) So we had to provide transportation from the ticket sales area to the LZ and back. The folks I was supposed to fly for were going to provide transportation via golf cart. We didn’t have a suitable golf cart, so we used Mike’s truck.

I say “we” because when I realized I’d be doing the event without the other helicopter company, I had to get together a full ground crew. For me, a full ground crew consists of three people: a money person to sell tickets, answer questions, and hold the money and two loaders who do safety briefings and escort passengers to and from the helicopter. (We do hot loading, like most helicopter operators do, and I don’t want anyone walking unescorted or unsupervised near the helicopter while the blades are turning.) In a pinch, with a secure LZ, I can do with one experienced loader (my husband, Mike), but I really like two. It speeds up the loading/unloading process by having one crew member on each side of the helicopter.

DarleneDave
Our great ground crew: Darlene and Dave (photos by Dave and Darlene).

I should point out one thing here about the R44 helicopter. The main rotor blades are 10 to 12 feet off the ground (depending on RPM and rotor droop) so the possibility of someone getting hit on the head by the blades is remote, especially at 68% RPM, which I maintain during loading/unloading. That’s one less thing to worry about when hot loading.

Me in the Pilot SeatBecause the LZ was so far from the rest of the venue and there were aerobatic displays going on while I was giving rides, I couldn’t fly past or around the venue to attract future passengers. That turned out to not be a problem. We had a steady stream of riders for our 8-10 minute rides. And, when the Blue Angels were done flying at about 4:15 PM, I started up and flew just about nonstop until 7:15 PM.

Here’s where the finances come into the picture. Last year, the other helicopter operator charged $45/person for 10-minute rides. Of that, I got $35, which I thought was a fair price for the ride. They did the money stuff and provided transportation to/from the LZ, which was about 1/4 mile from the ticket booth that year. (Easy walking distance, but who likes to walk?) They also provided one ground crew member, but since they were flying a helicopter, too, he mostly dealt with loading/unloading that helicopter. So Mike came along and took care of my passengers.

At $45/person, I flew 131 people last year over a 3-day period. To date, that’s my second-best gig, surpassed only by 2005 at the Mohave County Fair (150). I personally could not believe that so many people were willing to lay out $45/person for a ride. To put it in perspective, for about $120 a person can get a 25-minute helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon with Papillon. That’s a more memorable flight than 8-10 minutes over Sun City.

Yet this year, when I went to the Mohave County Fair and tried to sell 8-10 minute flights for $35/person, I had very few takers. I had to resort to Plan B, which offered 3-4 minute rides around the fair for $15. That kept me busy. In Congress, I did 5-minute rides for $20 around Congress. I had a line for 3 hours straight and probably could have sold the same rides for $25 without losing a single passenger.

So what I learned during the year (or thought I learned) was that I could keep flying if I priced the rides at a price most people would consider cheap. I want to keep flying. Sitting on the ground, spinning my blades while I wait for a passenger burns fuel without earning revenue or paying my ground crew. The problem is, if I make the rides too cheap, I don’t make any money. Duh.

At yesterday’s event, I offered the rides at $35/person, which was what I would have gotten if I’d flown with the other company anyway. I’m not greedy, but I do have loan payments to make. The result was a steady stream of passengers who couldn’t believe how cheap the rides were.

So what’s expensive in Kingman, AZ is cheap in Goodyear, AZ.

Our flight path, in case you’re interested, left Goodyear airport heading southeast. I flew straight down to the Phoenix International Raceway (PIR), where they have NASCAR events, and came back to the airport. There were cars on the track (not NASCAR) for much of the day, and people riding quads and fishing along the Gila River, which we crossed in two places. At night — because I flew for over an hour after sunset — I flew more to the east, trying to stay in a well-lighted area and give my passengers something to see. At night, the city is a blanket of lights in every color and it really doesn’t matter what you’re looking at. It’s just so darn pretty from the air.

Maria and MikeAlthough it was a 3-day event, I missed the first day due to a miscommunication. (Long story and please don’t ask me to tell it because I’m still pretty pissed off about it.) Yesterday was the second day and we did pretty well. Unfortunately, there are limitations on when I can fly. Those limitations are imposed by the Air Boss, who is basically an air traffic controller during the event. Keep in mind that the air show part of the event runs all day long and has many performers. Some of them simply don’t like operating while a helicopter is making flights in and out of the airspace. And in other instances, the Air Boss himself might consider my operations a hazard while other performers are on. So throughout the day, I’d be asked by the Air Boss to stay on the ground. These stoppages could be as short as 5 minutes or as long as 90 minutes. They broke up the flying day, limiting the number of people I could fly.

This happened last year, too, but there weren’t as many of these breaks so they didn’t affect me as much. This year, they really put a damper on things. People who showed up at the booth at 1:30 PM, ready to fly, were told they had to wait until 4 PM. Not everyone wanted to wait. And I certainly didn’t want to sit in the dusty booth waiting for the green light. But when 4:15 rolled along, I started flying again — for 3 hours straight.

Unfortunately, we had to skip today at the show. That’s not so bad. Mike is fighting a cold and he needs the rest. And I’m still exhausted from flying so long after nightfall — it takes more concentration, at least for me, and it really wipes me out.

Now if you’re doing all the math and coming up with some really big numbers for our ride revenue, remember a few things. It takes (and costs) more than just fuel to operate a helicopter. My insurance alone costs $60/hour (based on my current 200-hours per year flight level). And then there’s the reserve for the overhaul my helicopter will need at 2,200 hours — that currently costs $185,000, which is about $85/hour. There’s regular maintenance (at $50 to $75/hour), fuel (at about $4/gallon), oil (at about $5/quart), and hangar rent (at several hundred dollars a month). There’s additional costs to comply with service bulletins (SBs) and airworthiness directives (ADs). There’s advertising with signs, banners, brochures, and business cards. There’s business licenses and drug testing program fees and credit card acceptance fees. And there’s state and local sales tax, which must be paid out of every qualifying revenue hour — including rides. (Although we charged $35/person, $2.68 of that goes to Maricopa County and the City of Goodyear with its total 8.3% sales tax rate.) On an event like this, there’s also the cost of the ground crew, which must be transported, housed (in some instances), fed, and paid. There’s also the cost of operating the helicopter to get from its home base to the event location — cost that has no revenue associated with it. And let’s not even talk about the cost of equipment such as shade structures, tables, and chairs for a booth; a camper that can sleep up to 8 for overnight events; and a truck to haul all of this stuff around on the ground.

As you can see, the math isn’t as simple as saying 60 rides x $35 per ride – fuel costs = big profit. That’s the formula some passengers try to use. I only wish it were that simple.

What did I learn about this past weekend’s event? Confirm and reconfirm all the information I get. Stay involved in the setup process from the beginning. Don’t miss any meetings. Have a ground crew ready and waiting if needed.

And if they want to pay $45 per person for a ride, let ’em.

Many thanks to Darlene and Dave, Ground Crew Extraordinaire, for taking photos at the show and sharing them with me so I could put them here.