Category Archives: Days in My Life

I don’t just sit around and watch TV.

Constant Complaining Is a Total Turn-Off

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I befriend a temporary neighbor only to discover that I really don’t want to be her friend.

I’m stuck in a Kingman, AZ trailer park, waiting for repairs to the suspension on my truck. I’ve been here since Saturday and, with luck, my truck will be done before the end of business today, five days later. Sunday and New Year’s Day really screwed up the work schedule.

When I arrived I took my pups for a walk in a neighboring empty lot. Along the way, my next door neighbor came out and gave me her card. She seemed friendly. Inside her trailer, her dogs were barking and I was on my way to get my pups some relief so we didn’t have time to chat.

Yesterday, while I was hooking up the sewer hose to dump my camper’s tanks, she came out to chat. I was my usual talk-to-strangers self, giving her advice on how to connect her sewer pipe so it would drain properly. (She had it set up with the hose making a roller coaster of ups and downs which is probably the worst way to set it up.) She thanked me profusely but then started in on a litany of personal problems which included a restraining order on her ex, a truck she was making payments on but couldn’t drive because of some health issue, more health issues, medication issues, family issues, drug problems, alcohol problems, the handyman who ripped her off, the Facebook Marketplace buyer who tried to come after dark, the neighbor who teases her dogs, the 11 dead relatives in one year — the list went on and on, spewing out in a one-sided conversation while I stood there politely, holding an RV sewer hose in one hand, totally unable to get a word in other than stunned acknowledgement, and wishing she’d shut up so I could finish my task and go back inside. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that she was crazy or very near to it. Her telling me that everyone in the trailer park thought she was crazy kind of confirmed it.

Numb feet (?) was the health problem that finally got her to leave me alone and go back into her camper. I took care of my sewer hose and I took a few minutes to fix the roller coaster in hers since it was right beside mine. (It should work a lot better now.) Her dogs barked through the thin camper walls most of the time. Then I went back inside my camper, leaving the outer door open for fresh air.

She was back a few hours later, waiting near my door for the Walmart delivery person to bring her groceries. She wanted to see my pups so I showed her, opening the door so they could go out and get petted. She oohed and aahed. They didn’t stick around with her, though. Maybe they knew she was crazy, too. They ran back into the camper and I — well, I never came out.

Her dogs, by the way, are rescues, each of which are large — a Great Dane and a German Shepherd, I think — and have serious behavioral problems. It’s great that someone would literally rescue dogs that are going to be put down otherwise, but maybe someone with so many of her own problems should get a smaller, calmer companion pet?

The grocery delivery arrived and I thought I was spared. But she was back a few minutes later. It was New Year’s Eve and she’d gotten it into her head that I’d come over and drink with her. But only two drinks for her, she told me. That’s all she was allowed.

It would be zero drinks for me. There was no way I was going to go into her trailer with the giant dogs formerly on death row and listen to more of her problems while she got drunk. It was mid-afternoon and I told her I was going to take a nap. When she left, I closed my outer door.

I don’t know if she got the message (not likely) or just forgot about me because she didn’t return. I spent most of the day indoors today, writing. I didn’t want to run into her and it’s not as if I could drive somewhere with my truck in pieces at the Ford dealer.

I just want to assure readers here that I’m not making this up. It’s all true. The trailer park I’m in is funky, but it’s safe and relatively clean and certainly cheap enough. (Heck, I’m paying enough for the truck repair!) No one has bothered me. One neighbor came by with a big wrench to get the sewer cap off for me. And when dogs belonging to folks on the other side of me left three dog turds right outside my door, they cleaned it up as soon as I politely asked them to. (And no more since.)

Anyway, there is a point to this story and it’s this:

Everyone has their own problems and most folks don’t want to hear about yours. Yes, it’s okay to make one or two complaints. A sore back, an annoying neighbor. But stop right there. If all you can do is run off at the mouth about all the woes in your life, you’re not going to make any friends.

I feel sorry for her and I don’t think there’s really anything funny about her situation — despite how I might have written it up here. But I’m not going to sacrifice my own mental health and well being to give her companionship. I just don’t want to hear any more of her complaints.

And I honestly don’t see any reason why anyone should — other than maybe a professional therapist.

Another New Year, Simple Resolutions

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I look back at the year that just ended and forward into the year just beginning.

As I get older, I’m spending a lot more time thinking about the past and the future. I thought I’d take a moment to jot down some of my thoughts as we change calendars and start a new year.

Goodbye 2024

AGLCA
I’m not a member of this organization, which seems to exist primarily to separate Great Loop cruisers and wannabes from their money. I got the flag for free and flew it to identify myself as a Looper to others; not many realized I hung it upside down.

I’ve been thinking a bit about the year that just ended — as most of us probably do around New Year’s Day. It was my first full year of “retirement” (whatever that is in my life), a year when I completed a handful of personal achievements to move me forward in my life.

The biggest of these was the completion of my Great Loop cruise, a non-event that occurred on August 12, 2024 in Chicago, IL when I cruised past the entrance to the Chicago River and into DuSable Harbor. It was the culmination of about 16 months of cruising, mostly solo, over the course of 22 months in the boat that members of my family (who I now realize never really knew me very well) claimed I’d never use.

Do It Now at Walburg
One of my favorite anchorages last winter was just off the ICW in Georgia.

In the 8,300+ nautical miles I traveled on all kinds of waterways — rivers, lakes (including three Great Lakes) , bays, gulfs, canals, the ICW, and the Atlantic Ocean — I really honed my skills as a mostly solo boat captain. That served me very well in late September, when those skills were recognized and I was offered a job as a powerboat instructor for single and twin engine boats up to 50 feet in length. I took two classes to get the additional certifications I needed (in addition to my USCG captain’s license, which I got in 2023). I start that work later this year.

(I could write a whole blog post about how my hobbies and interests have turned into paying work — and even careers — throughout my life, but I’ll save that for another day.)

I put my silversmithing work pretty much on hold during 2024, although I did get a few jewelry classes in at Gallery One. I also managed to sell some jewelry to a new wholesale account on Bald Head Island in North Carolina. (Be sure to check out the Silver Peddler for my work if you’re ever out there.)

I did start a new hobby — like I needed one — bookbinding. This combines my love of addiction to paper with my love of books and writing. I’m just starting to get the hang of it now. I find the stitching of text blocks to be strangely soothing and rewarding. I think a lot of my friends will be getting books as gifts in the months and maybe years to come.

Dad and Me
My stepmom took this photo of my dad and me at their house in Florida last winter. At the time, my dad was 84 and working full time at Home Depot.

I also reconnected with my dad after so many years of him just being a background figure in my life. This actually started in 2023, when I first cruised to his Florida home in my boat on my way north along the Great Loop route. I stopped there again twice in late 2023 and then again in early 2024. It was a pleasure to be with a family member who wasn’t judging me or trying to get me to do what they thought I should do. A family member who seemed genuinely proud of who I am and what I’ve achieved. Sadly, I lost my dad to a combination of illnesses in September. He was 85. I need to blog a bit about that, but I’m not quite ready.

Realizations

I realized a few things about my extensive traveling over the past two years.

First, even after spending more than half my time traveling, I still love to travel. There’s something very appealing to me about every day having the potential to be very different from the day before it. I love seeing new things and meeting new people. I love the challenge of plotting a course — whether it’s on a boat or in a car — and seeing where it takes me beyond just the expected geography. Of seeing how it helps me learn and grow as a person.

But, at the same time, I really do love my home and enjoy its comforts. It’s nice to have a washer, dryer, dishwasher, soaking tub, and unlimited water, electricity, and high speed Internet. I love the views and the privacy and the peace. I missed my garden and the chickens I had to give away. It’s easy to see why so many people would rather just stay home than explore beyond that, where things might not be as easy or as comfortable. But after just weeks at home starting in October, I was aching to get out again.

Home
I admit it: near the end of my Great Loop cruise, I was a little bit homesick.

Other things I realized:

  • I spend entirely too much time on social media. I’m only on Mastodon these days — an algorithm-free Twitter-like system with a much higher percentage of smart, socially conscious people than you’d find on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. That has fueled one of my two tiny resolutions: no browsing social media between 6 AM and 6 PM. I’m tired of so much of my time being sucked away. I want to be more productive.
  • I am losing focus of the things that matter to me. Those things are mostly my writing and other creative endeavors. I blame time wasted on social media for that. But I also blame myself for being so easily distracted. It’s another thing I need to work on in this new year.
  • I’m getting old. I’ve actually been realizing this bit by bit over time, but now it seems to be on my mind more. Feeling out of shape, losing the strength I had just 10 years ago when I was building my home. It’s harder to do some of the things I used to do with ease. Part of that is letting myself get heavier again; so much energy is wasted just moving my body around! Another part is simply not being as physically active as I was. That’s another thing I need to address in the new year. But another part is the fact that my friends are starting to die off or get seriously ill. I’m not the only one aging. Time is short for all of us.

Looking Forward to 2025

The completion of my Great Loop cruise — which had been a personal goal for a few years — left me without a goal or direction. I have some ideas of what I want to do in the next stage of my life and have taken a few steps toward those things. Using my boat captain credentials to teach people how to drive boats is just one part of that. Taking a break from long-term cruising and putting my boat into a charter fleet so it can earn me some money while being ready for me to cruise when it’s not booked is another. And yes, I even started a new business to manage both of those boat-related endeavors.

At the Beach with my Pups
Here’s a rare selfie of me sitting on the sand with my pups at Marineland’s beach.

But I think I’d also like to return to the northeast to do some cruising in New York and Canada. I just don’t want to do it in my current boat. I want to upsize. And I want to take others along to see what it’s like. To share the joy I feel when I cruise across a smooth body of water on a perfect day, or pull into a marina at a brand new destination, or drop anchor near a deserted beach.

And I think I’d like to spend my winters in Arizona, where I can look out the window and see desert hillsides studded with saguaro cacti, mesquite, and palo verde. Where I can feel the sun on my skin in December and January. That means selling my house — I know the folly of owning more than one home — which means downsizing. It also means finding the place that’s right for me. I think I have just one more move left in me so I need to make it count. And I know how hard it’s going to be to find a place that comes close to the near perfection of what I have now, someplace I can move to without regrets.

In the meantime, I need to finish a few projects I started that are related to the Great Loop trip. The biggest is the blog that has too many gaps in the account of the trip. That blog will eventually become a book — my first in nearly 10 years. That’s the kind of project I’d like to get done before the boating season starts again.

Status Report: My First Winter at Home in 10+ Years

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I summarize how it started and how it’s going for my first winter at home in more than 10 years.

It’s December 18, 2024 and I’m typing this at home while sitting at my desk at a desktop computer. Outside is approximately 8 inches of snow that has fallen in the past three days. My driveway is plowed, my vehicles are tucked into the garage. My house is warm. The sun is out, trying to break through the low clouds between my perch about 800 feet above the Columbia River and city of Wenatchee. It is a gorgeous day and is likely to become even nicer as the sun continues to rise — although for me, it’ll never clear the 500+ foot ridge just south of my home.

I’m chomping at the bit, ready to turn my 2-3 week planned trip to Arizona into a 5 week camping adventure. After all, I do still have my truck camper. I may as well use it.

On Being Home

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my home. I love its simple comfort, privacy, quiet, spacious garage, and, above all, its views. (I’ve always been fond of a good view and I don’t think I’ll get a better one anywhere else.) I have everything here that I want and need — or almost (more in a moment) — and after spending 17 of the past 24 months traveling, it’s great to be settled in somewhere.

At least I think it is. I’m so used to being on my boat that it actually feels weird to have luxuries like a washer/dryer, dishwasher, enormous (well, okay, just normal sized) refrigerator, and soaking tub where I can immerse 90% of my body in hot water for as long as I like.

One of the things I admit that I am struggling with is the sameness of every day. My pups and I have revised our routine for our surroundings and that’s fine, but what’s weird is that we wake up in the same place every day. When I’m traveling, every day doesn’t just have the potential to be different. It is different. Here, I have to work on adding variety to my days. And I’ll admit that sometimes I just don’t bother.

The Plan: A Winter at Home

The original plan was to spend the whole winter at home. Period.

I have lots to do. Not only did I have to clean the boat and prep it for a season as a charter boat in the San Juan Islands, but I had a lot of catching up to do on my Great Loop blog and the video channel I’m trying to build. I could spend eight hours every day working on these things and still not catch up by the end of February.

Not only that, but I’m exploring more creative options. In addition to getting back into my jewelry shop to build inventory for the upcoming season, I’ve begun dabbling in paper arts, including bookbinding and the production of decorative papers. I find these things challenging while being a good creative outlet.

So that was the plan: work on the things I need and want to get done.

But the Gray! And the Snow!

Right around the time we changed the clocks, I remembered why I go usually south every winter. It gets dark early here. When it gets dark, my brain tells my body that it’s time for bed. It’s increasingly difficult to stay up until at least 9 PM.

And then there’s the gray. The Wenatchee Valley has inversions in the winter time that fill the valley with clouds. Sometimes I’m above the clouds, sometimes I’m below the clouds, and sometimes I’m in the clouds. So I look out the windows and I see a lot of gray. I’d estimate 4-5 days out of every 7.

This is very difficult for someone who lived in Arizona for 15 years where the sun shines so often that you wish for a gray day.

Of course, on other days here you get a day like today, when the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the world looks like a winter wonderland. On days like this, I feel like sitting in a window seat with a book and a cup of hot cocoa, glancing up at the amazing, ever-changing vista every time I turn a page.

Gorgeous Day
How’s this for a gorgeous day and amazing view? Come join me for a cup of hot cocoa looking out the windows.

Dave Shovels
With 8 inches of snow in about 48 hours, “shoveling” requires some heavy equipment. Here, my neighbor Dave is digging a pathway for my Jeep to get in and out of the garage.

And the snow is definitely a thing.

I like snow. I think it’s pretty. But the problem is that it makes it difficult to do anything or go anywhere outside. The problem is only made worse by the fact that the snow slides off my roof to block my garage doors, thus trapping my vehicles inside until I — or someone else — breaks them free.

A Year Ago Today
There’s a nice private beach a short drive from where my dad lived.

Last year on this date, I was walking on a beach near my dad’s house in Florida, feeling the sand between my toes while my pups chased each other near the surf. Only a few days later, I’d be heading south a in my boat to New Year’s Eve with a friend at Key West. The year before, I was heading east on the Gulf ICW to spend Christmas week at Orange Beach, Alabama. The year before that, I was camped out in the desert in Arizona, hiking, exploring, and enjoying star-filled skies every night. Ditto for most of the years before that.

Lately, I’m constantly trying to remind myself why I’m here this year.

The New Plan

The new plan is to load up my truck camper and head south sometime around Christmas Day. I’m going to visit a bunch of friends in Wickenburg, Quartzsite, Phoenix, Tucson, and Sierra Vista. I’ll hit the big Pow Wow rock show to replenish my supply of certain stones I use in jewelry making. And I’m going to start my search for a new winter home in the Tucson area. — more on that in another post.

My usual winter house-sitter, John, is thrilled. He loves it here in the winter. He thought he’d be stuck spending more time with family, but is already packing his truck in preparation for coming back here. I’m sure my barn cat, Rover, will be thrilled, too. I know John spoils the hell out of him when I’m gone. (Maybe this time he’ll take Rover with him when he leaves.)

But John won’t have too much time here. My goal is to be back by the end of January. I want to go to the Seattle Boat Show at month-end and I need to get my boat to the other side of the mountains for some maintenance work before it’s launched in March. There’s a lot to do.

There’s always a lot to do. And I like it that way.