What I Do

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I discover that the majority of people in Wickenburg haven’t got a clue what I do.

On Monday, I put a piece of real estate I own on the market. I listed it with Jorja Beal. Jorja has lived in Wickenburg for many years and knows it better than I ever will.

Yesterday, Jorja had to stop by my office to get some keys. I met her in the parking lot. The first thing she said to me was, “I didn’t know you wrote books about Quicken!” She was surprised and impressed. “I didn’t realize we had someone in town who was famous.”

I’m not famous. Well, not exactly famous. There are a number of people who think I’m famous and I occasionally get asked for my autograph, but I don’t really think of myself as famous.

I told Jorja that that’s what I do for a living. Then I asked her what she thought I did. She told me she thought I was a Webmaster. I told her that although I do maintain a few Web sites, there’s no money in being a Webmaster in Wickenburg — unless, of course, you’re willing to grossly overcharge all your clients, which is something I’m not willing to do. I told her I write books for a living, then brought her up to my extremely disheveled office and showed her the “Langer Library”: three shelves of books, starting with titles first published in 1990, along with many of their translations. There are over a hundred books on those three shelves, but if you weed out the translations and the handful of books I contributed to but didn’t author on my own, the total title count is around 60.

I opened my closet full of author copies and pulled out a copy of the Quicken 2005 book and handed it to her. She said, “No, I already have one. Steve Cole gave me one.”

Steve Cole runs Cole Accounting here in town. Steve is a great guy, laid back, patient, and knowledgeable. He gave me a lot of help when I had to tackle the payroll taxes for my employees at the Airport. He also does my husband’s taxes and this year I’m going to ask him to do mine. (Consider this advance warning, Steve, if you’re reading this!) When I finished the Quicken 2005 book and was staring at a blank dedication page, I decided to dedicate the book to him, as a way of thanking him for his help. And when my 20 author copies arrived about a month later, I brought half of them to Steve so he could give them away to his clients who use Quicken. I guess Jorja is one of those clients.

I’m not sure if Steve knows that the books are where the money comes from. He’s never done my personal taxes so he might not.

People might find it hard to understand how a writer can make a good enough living to buy things like real estate and a helicopter. But when you average 4 to 6 books a year and you have one or two titles that become regular best-sellers, it is indeed possible.

Other people in town think I fly helicopters for a living. Wouldn’t that be nice! To be able to do the thing I love best and make enough money to support my lifestyle! The truth of the matter is, the demand for helicopter tours in Wickenburg is pitifully low, so Flying M Air will never become a big income-generator here. And that summer job I had at the Grand Canyon this past summer paid very poorly. It was an entry level position that worked all of its pilots hard, making us fly in very challenging conditions. I may have come away as a much better pilot, but my bank account sure didn’t show much for all that work.

A few people thought I ran the airport FBO for a living. They must have been pretty puzzled when I gave it up.

Other people may think that Mike makes a ton of money and supports both of our expensive habits. That isn’t true either. I support all of my own expensive habits and Mike supports his.

Indeed, I’m one of the people Art Pullis wrote about in one of his painfully elementary articles about the local economy in the Wickenburg Sun. The one where he discussed money coming into Wickenburg from outside the town. Less than 1% of my income comes from within Wickenburg, but far more than that is spent here. I’d spend even more here if I could find more of the goods and services I need here in town.

But I’m working on that. I’m sending Ed Taylor, one of Wickenburg’s two aircraft mechanics and owner of Wickenburg Aero Service, to the Robinson Helicopter Factory Maintenance School in November. When he gets back, he’ll be a helicopter mechanic. My helicopter mechanic. (No more trips to Prescott to get expensive maintenance items done. I’ll be keeping my maintenance dollars in town.) And I hope Ed picks up a few more helicopter customers as well. I’ll see what I can do to help that along.

One footnote here: there is someone in town who knows what I do. Yesterday, I went into the library to borrow a few books. I went to the counter with my battered library card and the librarian went to her computer to do whatever it is she does. (Probably check to see if I owe money for late fees, which I often do.) She was looking at the computer screen when she said aloud, “How are your books doing?”

I looked around. There was no one else she could be talking to. Stupidly, I said, “Who, me?”

She looked at me and smiled. “Yes.”

“Oh! Very well, thanks. I’m starting a new one tomorrow.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” she said.

“I don’t either,” I replied. Then I took the books she handed me and left.

Today I start work on “Microsoft Word 2004 for Macintosh: Visual QuickStart Guide.” Hey, it’s a living.

The Arrival of a Bumper Sticker

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Some thoughts on receiving a pair of political bumper stickers from an anonymous sender.

I got a long envelope in the mail yesterday from a company called FahrenheitStuff.com. When I opened it, I found two black, red, and white bumper stickers that said: “Fahrenheit 9/11, See the movie..then decide.”There was no indication of who had sent them.

Bumper StickerI went to the Web site and learned that FahrenheitStuff.com sells bumper stickers and tee shirts with all proceeds going to MoveOnPac.org. MoveOnPac.org, I learned, is dedicated to getting voters to vote George W. Bush out of office. To that end, they have a number of political advertisements that you can view via the Web. I watched all of them. One, “Stranded Republicans,” was very good. Another, “Everyone,” was very moving. The others were so-so. Since I don’t watch much TV, I don’t know if any of these ads have actually aired. FahrenheitStuff.com claims it is not affiliated with or endorsed by Michael Moore or MoveOnPac.org. The bumper stickers were of good quality and quite attractive. The colors went well with my red Honda. So, just to stir up some local emotions in this Arizona Republican stronghold town, I put one on my car. Yes, I put it on the glass back window; after all, I will eventually need to remove it. And if people start throwing eggs, I can always drive around town with the top down so no one sees it.

The shirts were nice, too. 100% cotton Hanes tee shirts with three different Fahrenheit 9/11 slogans on them. They were only $7.99. The bumper stickers were only $1 each. I’m thinking the shirts might make a good collector’s item in about 20 years. I might buy one and store it with my Mac OS 8 tee shirts. Someday, they’ll hit eBay.

Well, while I was surfing to find out about FahrenheitStuff.com and MoveOnPac.org, I visited Michael Moore’s Web site. I read a lot of interesting articles there. He didn’t write them. He just echoed them from other sources. It appears the Michigan Republicans are out to get him because he’s “bribing students to vote.” Frankly, I think it’s admirable that someone is making an effort to get young people involved in the political decision-making process. Of course, his efforts do have an ulterior motive. He obviously believes that the majority of these young people will vote against George W Bush. I think they will, too. And I hope they vote.

I realized, in reading Moore’s Web pages, that he and I have a lot in common. We have the same basic political opinion. Like me, he doesn’t think that Kerry is the best candidate for president. But he also doesn’t think we should give Bush another 4 years. Like me, he believes in exercising his First Amendment rights to speak his mind about the things he feels strongly about. But while he does it in movie theaters, in public speaking gigs (for which is often paid), in interviews, and on his Web site, I do it on my Web site and blogs and in letters to our sorry (and politically unbalanced) little local newspaper. While he’s tackling topics on the national and international level, with well-researched and presented commentary, I’m just presenting my opinion, based on my own intelligence and knowledge of the things going on around me. And like me, he has made a number of enemies due to his outspokenness, although he has millions of them and I only have a handful of people I wouldn’t want as friends anyway.

After surfing Moore’s site, I went to Amazon.com to look up information about his new book, “The Fahrenheit 9/11 Reader.” It sounds like a rehash of the movie, with a bunch of commentary in it. I don’t think it’s worth reading, at least not right now when I have so many other things I want to read. But I also learned that someone wrote a book called “Michael Moore is a Big Fat Stupid White Man.” Wow. I might have to agree with that sentiment, but remove the word “Stupid.” He certainly isn’t that. But I do think it’s funny that an author (and publisher) would cash in on the fact that so many people hate Michael Moore. Who’s stupid now? It appears that the buyers of this book (and perhaps Moore’s book, to be fair) are being used to generate profits for authors and publishers who are selling to emotions. Perhaps these books look good on coffee tables in homes of Republicans or Democrats. A kind of label to let people know where you stand politically.

While surfing Amazon.com, I found a book that I think I’m going to buy (or at least look for in my local library). It’s called “Seven Floors High” and it appears to be a novel based on fact. (The description is too vague to make it clear whether it’s fact or fiction.) What really struck me is the reviews: every single reviewer gave it 5 stars. Most of them said they “couldn’t put it down.” I need to read something like that. Of course, I found the book through a link to “The Fahrenheit 9/11 Reader,” and it’s quite clear that it doesn’t make George W Bush look very good. I’m looking forward to checking it out.

I also found an enormous number of political books for sale. Some are “patriotic” titles that are obviously written to praise the current president. Others are titles by (or with information from) people in the know, such as John Dean and Paul O’Neill. The summaries of these books make them sound like interesting (but scary) reading. They seem to confirm what I already suspect: that there’s more going on in the White House than what meets the public’s eye.

Anyway, speaking of patriotic, I do have one more comment to make regarding Michael Moore. Moore-haters claim he’s unpatriotic. (By the way, that’s the same claim made by our president and his supporters when we question the removal of our rights to privacy, free speech, and due process.) I don’t think he’s unpatriotic at all. I think he sees the big picture and has formed an opinion about it. The opinion is not favorable to our current president and his party. I think he loves America very much — and that’s why he’s willing to speak out. I think it’s his way of getting other people to see the big picture and make an informed opinion about it. Informed using all of the facts, not the claims made by the republican party and its candidates.

Again, this is a lot like me. People think I hate Wickenburg because I speak out when I see something I think is bad or wrong. But I don’t hate Wickenburg. I don’t want to hate it, either. I want everyone to see what’s going on out there. I want them to make their own opinions and do something about it.

The sad thing about America these days is that the average person would rather watch the latest reality TV show than spend time and effort researching the issues that affect their lives and voting based on their own opinions about those issues.

And there is a postscript to this story: I found out who sent me the bumper stickers when I got a message from the sender in this morning’s e-mail.

Some Photos

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Two photos from my last month at Papillon.

I dumped some photos from my digital camera into my laptop yesterday and found a few I’d forgotten to take. (It’s kind of like the old days, when you’d put film in the camera, take a few photos, then not use the camera for a long time. When you get the pictures developed, you’re surprised by what’s in the envelope.)

PhotoThis first shot is a group shot one morning before preflight. One of the pilots (Bubbles, I think), had brought a camera and asked if we’d all go down and pose in front of a ship. It turns out that five or more of us had cameras with us so the loader who took the picture was pretty busy. Back row, from left to right: Don (“Gorgeous Don”), Greg (“Clogger”), Walter (“Wheezer”), Scott, me, Tom. Front Row, from left to right: Tyler (“Daisy”), Ann, Chris (“Bubbles”), Ron, Eduardo, Vince. This isn’t everyone, of course. Just the folks that were around that morning. If anyone has a shot of a different crew from this year, please e-mail it to me.

PhotoThis second shot is the instrument panel on a Bell LongRanger. This happens to be Copter 30, but they all looked pretty much alike. I took this picture while I was idling on the ground at the heliport, waiting for passengers. The instruments from top to bottom, left to right are: Oil pressure and temperature, Transmission Oil pressure and temperature, Fuel level, DC Load and Fuel pressure; next row down: Torque, TOT, N1, time (clock); next row down: Airspeed Indicator, N2/Rotor RPM; next row down: Attitude Indicator, Directional Gyro (incorrectly set but I always used the compass, which is not shown in this photo), ball (for trim indication); last row down: altimeter, vertical speed indicator, another ball (for trim indication; I didn’t realize there were two on this ship until just now).

Believe it or not, these are the only two photos I took while working at Papillon. I felt awkward taking pictures of the canyon while I was flying. I thought it would scare my passengers. And although I wanted to take other photos around the heliport and break room, I never got around to it.

The Presidential Debates

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My take on this year’s debates and other semi-related matters.

I don’t want to get too political in these blogs. After all, I know that some people have very strong feelings for or against a specific candidate and I don’t want to completely alienate myself from these people.

I’ve been watching bits and pieces of the debates. I say bits and pieces because, frankly, I don’t like debates in general and these debates are among the worst I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the way I see it. A debate should consist of two people with different opinions and views logically presenting their views in a way to convince the audience that their views are right. It should not consist of two people pointing out the shortcomings of each other, offering false evidence as support of claims, or defending themselves against the other’s comments.

From the bits and pieces I’ve seen, both candidates are spending the majority of their time accusing their opponents of various bad decisions and bad results or defending themselves against these claims. George W Bush is, by far, the worst of the bunch in this respect. Last night’s debate — of which I heard 30 minutes from another room and watched 15 minutes on television — showed him in defensive mode almost the entire time. For example, when John Kerry tried hard to present his plan for balancing the budget. Rather than present his plan, Bush blasted Kerry, saying that he wouldn’t keep his word. I still don’t know what Bush plans to do about the budget and how his plan might differ from Kerry’s. Bush came across as a crybaby and, at one point, I actually felt sorry for him.

I watched a tiny bit of the Cheney vs. Edwards debate the other night. I don’t like Cheney. I think he’s evil. The kind of guy James Bond might go after. But I was extremely impressed at the way Edwards held up against him. In fact, Edwards looked pretty good. And Cheney did make a huge blunder when he referred people to FactCheck.com rather than FactCheck.org. The folks at FactCheck.com, which was bombarded with hits that overwhelmed their server, set up a refresh to GeorgeSoros.com. George Soros is about as anti-Bush/Cheney as they get. So Cheney indirectly referred people to a site that blasted him. And, to make matters worse, FactCheck.org, the correct site, wrote an article saying that their site did not say what Cheney claimed it did. It then presented an objective review of the debate that didn’t make Mr. Cheney look very good at all.

Personally, I wish the debates had more substance. I wish the candidates would stick to the topics and not waste so much time blasting each other or defending themselves. This has got to be the dirtiest campaign I’ve ever witnessed. So much mud-slinging about things that aren’t important.

One more thing, although it really doesn’t have to do with the debates. I heard a story on NPR yesterday about how the Bush campaign is using the Secret Service and local police (which are both paid for with our tax dollars) to keep possible Kerry supporters out of Bush presidential campaign rallies. This is to ensure that when Bush speaks, everyone laughs at his jokes or chants “flip-flop” at the appropriate time or boos the competition when prompted.

I think this is wrong on many levels. First of all, America is supposed to be a free country and our Constitution gives us the right to attend public gatherings, including public appearances of the president. Second, why is the president so afraid of a few possible Kerry supporters in the audience? It is because he can’t handle the possibility of a little heckling? If so, how is he able to handle more difficult matters, including the War he’s dragged us into (under what are not proven to be false pretenses), the huge deficit, the sagging economy, and the health care crisis we face? (My health insurance premiums just went up $200 per quarter!) Third, why should the security services taxpayers fund — the Secret Service and local police — be used to keep taxpayers out of a public gathering when they pose no security threat?

John Kerry doesn’t do anything to keep out Bush supporters. John Kerry can handle the heckling he gets at rallys. Who looks like the better man now?

On Close Calls

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Why a control tower clearance is something to be taken with a grain of salt.

When you fly in airspace controlled by a control tower, you’d think that a controller clearance would be a green light to do what you were cleared to do. Unfortunately, controllers can give a green light to other traffic that might just conflict with you. I’ve had this happen four times in the past six months.

The first three times were at Grand Canyon airport (GCN) while I worked for Papillon. Papillon has a heliport with eleven helipads. The area behind the pads, which is known as “the meadow,” is our departure and landing point. To depart, we back off a pad, maneuver to the meadow, contact the tower, get a clearance, and depart using either north or south traffic, whichever is on the ATIS. On average, Papillon operates about nine helicopters during the busy summer season.

There are two other helicopter operators at the canyon. Both have considerably smaller heliports south of Papillon’s. Grand Canyon Helicopters operates three helicopters from its location. AirStar operates four helicopters at its location. So you have about 16 helicopters operating on an average busy day, all out of the same general area of the airport: the northeast corner.

Close CallNow look at the picture here. In the first two close call incidents, I was the red line, which got clearance to depart to the southeast. In one incident, the blue line (Grand Canyon Helicopters) got a clearance right after me to depart to the west. In another incident, the green line (AirStar) got a clearance right after me to depart to the west. In both cases, I had to alert the departing pilots — on the tower frequency — that I was in their departure path. In one case, I actually began evasive maneuvers when the pilot didn’t appear to hear me. Mind you, the tower had given all of us clearance so we were all “cleared” to depart. Scary, no?

Close CallLet’s look at another close call. In the picture to the right, I was the red line with a clearance to depart to the northeast. The blue line had just gotten a clearance to depart to the northwest. Because he took off before me, we were on a collision course. But I’d been listening and I heard him get the clearance. So when I took off, I kept an eye out for him and made sure I passed behind him.

I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble here. Believe me, in the first two incidents I made quite a bit of noise on the radio to the tower for handing out two conflicting clearances. Unfortunately, they did it to a few other pilots before one of them got on the phone and made some noise. Near the end of the season, the tower was very good about alerting us to possible conflicting helicopter traffic, even when the possibility of a conflict was minor.

Close Call 2 IllustrationMy most recent controlled close call incident was two days ago. I’d gone down to Chandler to meet a friend for lunch. I landed at the Quantum ramp at Chandler Airport (CHD). We had lunch and returned at close to 1 PM — just when Quantum’s training ships were returning. I asked for and got clearance to hover-taxi to the heliport’s landing pad. I then asked for and got an Alpha departure clearance. This requires me to take off from the helipad and follow a canal that runs beside the airport (and helipad) to the north (the red line). When I got my clearance, the tower alerted me to an inbound helicopter that was crossing over the field. I did not hear that helicopter get a landing clearance, but he may have gotten it from Chandler’s south frequency, which I was not monitoring (because I could not). I took off along the canal just as the other helicopter (the purple line) turned left to follow the canal in. We were definitely on a head-on collision course. I saw this unfolding and diverted to the west, just as the tower said something silly like, “Use caution for landing helicopter.” Duh. I told the tower I was moving out of the way to the west. There was no problem. But I wonder what that student pilot thought. Or what Neil, owner of the company, thought as he hovered near the landing pads in an R44, watching us converge.

The point of all this is, when you get a tower clearance, that doesn’t mean you can stop scanning for traffic. That should never stop. Controllers are human and they can make mistakes. And frankly, I believe that they are so concerned with airplane traffic that they tend to get a bit complacent when it comes to dealing with helicopters.

Consider Grand Canyon tower. With 16 helicopters operating in and out of the airport all day long, all on predefined arrival and departure routes, things get pretty routine. The pilots all know what they’re doing. The tower knows the pilots will do the same thing each time they get a clearance. There’s no chance of misunderstanding an instruction because the instructions are part of pilot training and an average pilot will fly ten or more flights per day when working. It’s like a well-oiled machine. The problem arises when the controller gives clearances for departure paths that will cross in flight. Although the controller should not do this (my opinion), it happens. It’s then up to the pilot to listen for all clearances and spot other aircraft that might conflict.

Chandler tower deals with helicopter traffic from Quantum and Rotorway. Again, these pilots know the arrival and departure paths. And, in most cases, there’s a CFI on board, someone who has been flying out of Chandler for at least a year. The tower probably hands out clearances without thinking too much about them. After all, the helicopters will remain clear of the fixed wing traffic, and that’s their primary concern.

As a helicopter pilot, I’ve come to understand all this. And although I wish controllers would be a little more cautious when issuing clearances, I’m not too concerned about me hitting someone else. I use my eyes and my ears to monitor my surroundings. I can slow down — or even stop in midair! — to avoid a collision. I can also descend very rapidly and, if I’m not too heavy, climb pretty rapidly, too. I can also make very sharp turns. In short, my ability to avoid a collision is much better than the average fixed wing pilot’s.

What does worry me, however, is the possibility of a less experienced or less familiar pilot acting on a clearance that puts him on a collision course with me in a position where I can’t see him. Suppose I’d taken off on an Alpha departure at Chandler and had gained some altitude. Suppose the other helicopter was not in front of me, but coming up on my right side, slightly behind me with a solo student pilot at the controls. That pilot could have still been tuned into the south tower frequency. So even if the north controller had issued his “use caution” warning, the student pilot would not have heard him. I wouldn’t have seen him. He could have hit me. Scary thought.

Of course, you can play what if all day long. If you come up with enough scary scenarios, you’ll park your aircraft in the hangar and leave it there. That’s not me. I’ll keep flying.

And keep looking.