Wickenburg Enters the Information Age and Alex the Bird Gets a Job

I enjoy wireless Internet access while sipping chai latte at an outdoor cafe. And yes, I am in Wickenburg.

Can you believe it?

Alex at WorkThe folks at the Old Nursery Coffee Company here in Wickenburg have added free wireless Internet access. So now I’m sitting at a table in the shade, watching the world go by and sniffing the wonderful aroma of orange blossoms while I type this blog. Today is also the day I brought Alex to start his “day job.” Alex’s old cage has been sitting out on our back patio, getting ruined by the afternoon sun, for about a year. The coffee shop here has a nice roof overhang by the front door that’s perfect for Alex’s cage. So I asked Heather if Alex could spend the day here. She liked the idea. Today’s the first day that I’m not working hard on a book (I finished my Tiger book on Friday) so I decided to bring Alex and his cage today. It took me about a half hour to get his cage out of Mike’s pickup and set up on the patio. Now he’s climbing around in there, talking now and then (“Hi Goober”). He wasn’t happy to go into the old cage, but I think he’ll be okay. He seems to be settling in. I’ve been here with him for about an hour, but when I finish typing this and uploading it to its site, I’ll go do some errands and check back in a while.

But it’ll be hard to finish up. It’s quite pleasant here in the shade. Can’t think of a nicer place to read my e-mail.

People Just Don’t Want to Work Hard

I watch a documentary about the Kolb Brothers on PBS and realize something tragic.

KAET, Channel 8, is one of our local PBS television stations. Last night, it showed a 30-minute documentary about the Kolb Brothers.

Emery and Ellsworth Kolb made their name as Grand Canyon Photographers. They started their business in 1903 (or thereabouts) and it remained in business until 1978 (or thereabouts; I’m good with dates, but not perfect). The studio where they lived and worked on the Grand Canyon’s South Rim still stands. It’s a bookstore now, with a gallery downstairs where their old movie theater used to be.

Because of a shortage of water at the Rim, when the Kolbs were first starting out, they printed their photographs down at Indian Gardens, which had a year-round creek. It was a nine-mile hike down and back and the Kolbs did it almost every day.

They’d start out at the top of the Bright Angel Trail, where they’d take photos of the mule riders as they began the descent. Then they’d run back to their studio on the rim and create proofs, often using muddy water collected from puddles and ponds to wash them. Then they’d hurry down the trail, on foot, and catch up to the mule riders before Indian Gardens. At the gardens, they’d show the proofs to the riders. The riders would order prints, then continue to Plateau Point or the river by mule. The Kolbs would create finished prints at Indian Gardens, where they could wash them with clear water. Then they’d hurry back up to the rim and be there when the riders returned at the end of the day to finish the sale.

Having been into the Grand Canyon less than 2 months ago, the thought of doing that hike every day sends chills down my spine. Of course, the Kolbs were young and weren’t carrying around extra weight, like I am. I think if I started doing it (and didn’t die of heart failure soon after starting), I’d drop my extra weight, strengthen up my muscles, and feel pretty good after a few months.

The point, of course, is that these guys came up with a plan to succeed and they worked hard to make it happen. Harder than 98% of the U.S. population would be willing to work. And that’s a problem.

It seems to me that people are soft these days, more interested in how much money they can make with the minimum amount of work than how much work it would take to really succeed and get ahead.

I’m not talking about time here. People don’t seem to care about how much time they spend at work. In my old corporate America days, when I worked in Corporate Headquarters for Automatic Data Processing (ADP) as an auditor and later, financial analyst, I often saw people staying late in their cubicles, heads buried in documents that were likely just giving them something to focus on in case their bosses came by. The goal, of course, was to be seen by your boss at your desk after quitting time as often as possible. That supposedly showed how hard you worked. To me, it showed how little regard you had for your family or how little life you had outside the office. I didn’t play that game. I started at 8 and quit at 4 (to beat the traffic both ways) and got a lot of work done in between. No one ever bothered me about leaving so early — probably because I always had the coffee ready for them when they got in at 8:45 AM.

These days, promotions seemed based more on how long you’ve been on the job than how well you do that job. People are constantly looking for ways to minimize the amount of work they do. Few people ask to do more work than they’re given. Instead, they stretch that work out so it takes as long as possible. They look busy, but they’re taking their blessed time. After a while, they naturally slow down. Then they can’t keep up. And they complain.

I think being an employer here in Wickenburg woke me up a bit. As fuel manager, I had a staff of employees who spent the day sitting in the airport terminal, providing airport condition information on the radio, pumping fuel into the few airplanes that stopped by, and keeping the place neat and clean. The vast majority of the 8-hour day was spent sitting at a desk that looked out over the fuel pump area. On a windy or rainy or very hot day, no one would fly in. Otherwise, they could expect 10 to 20 planes a day, 25% of which might actually stop for a bathroom break or soda or fuel. Sometimes, people would drive in to chat or check the place out. So the employee chatted — that was part of the job, too. “Ambassador to Wickenburg,” was one of the phrases that was thrown around by the town. Whatever.

I’d created a checklist of things that had to be done every day. Things like check the fuel farm for leaks (a 5-minute walkaround), get the mail (2 minutes if you used the back door), fill the fridge with soda (5 minutes with 2 trips to the closet in the hallway), clean out the bathrooms (15 minutes; they were seldom used and seldom dirty), take morning and afternoon readings from the fuel pumps (5 minutes each trip), mop the floor (15 minutes) — you get the idea. There was about 2 hours of real work on that checklist and, on a really dead day, that would only take about an hour to do (bathrooms don’t get dirty, soda isn’t sold, etc.). Most of my employees did the job without complaining. After all, there really wasn’t much to do and they had 8 hours to get it done. But one or two of them just couldn’t do it without complaining and whining. Sometimes they’d skip things on the checklist and try to tell me that it had been too busy with aircraft fueling at quitting time to do it. Of course, they didn’t mention that they were too busy reading a book or talking on the phone the rest of the day.

One of these guys quit when I reminded him that he had to do everything on the checklist. He just quit with no notice. Sheesh. Did he think I was going to back down? He obviously didn’t know me very well.

It was employee problems that caused me to sell out my Airport fuel manager contract. I just couldn’t deal with the mentality of the one or two people who couldn’t be thankful for a job that paid them to sit on their butts most of the day, in a relatively comfortable place (heat and air conditioning at their command), chatting or reading or just watching the planes go by.

One of the guys tried getting his new boss to pay him more. A lot more. Like almost double what he was making, which was already too much. When the new boss refused, this guy quit. No notice. It really put the new boss in a bad spot, especially since he was already shorthanded and this guy worked 5 days a week. And the boss’s uncle had just died in Idaho and he needed to make a trip to the funeral. This employee obviously thought he’d get his way. But the new boss was a lot like me in one respect. He doesn’t back down. So the guy was unemployed for a long time and I heard he even filed bankruptcy. (He tried to tell the Airport Manager that I’d gotten him fired. Can you imagine that?)

The new boss wound up getting the guy who’d quit working for me to work for him. Recently, when he reminded that guy about his work responsibilities, he quit again. At least he gave two weeks notice this time.

It’s this kind of mentality that has me worried about the U.S. It isn’t just adults who think and act this way. It’s kids, too. In fact, I think the kids are worse. They spend more time and effort thinking about how little work they could do to get by rather than actually doing work that’ll help them get ahead.

I think of the Kolb brothers running up and down that trail. I can’t think of one person — myself included — who would do that kind of work to make a business succeed. Maybe that’s a problem.

AirPort Express with AirTunes

I buy yet another gadget for my Macs.

I’d just finished writing the Networking chapter of my Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger: Visual QuickStart Guide when my editor, Cliff, called me into an iChat chat. Cliff and I often use iChat during the day to ask each other quick questions.

“Why didn’t you include AirPort Express in the book?” he wanted to know.

“I don’t have one of those,” I told him. Or at least I typed at his icon, which was a orange globe that day. “I can’t be expected to buy every piece of Apple hardware,” I added.

This was true. Every year, I invested hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars buying the Apple hardware I needed to write my Mac OS X book. A new desktop Mac every two years. A new laptop every three years. AirPort base stations and cards. iPods. Digital cameras, scanners, color printers. The list went on and on. It was very costly and I had a huge collection of old hardware that I just didn’t have time to put on eBay. Apple might help legitimate authors out with software, but it seldom coughed up hardware for the cause.

“But we should mention it,” he insisted.

“Do people buy it?”

“I’m sure they do.”

I switched over to Safari and surfed on over to the Apple store where I read a description of AirPort Express. Among other things, it enabled you to send iTunes data from an AirPort-equiped Mac to compatible stereo speakers. I thought about Mike and his desire to buy a new receiver. I looked at the price. Oh hell. What was another $129?

So I bought one.

It’s actually a pretty cool little device. It plugs into a wall socket and has three ports: USB, Ethernet, and Audio Out. You plug the Ethernet into a Mac, cable modem or DSL connection, or hub. (Mine isn’t plugged into anything.) You plug the USB into a printer, so the printer is accessible to users on the network. (Mine isn’t plugged into anything.) And you plug the audio out into a pair of stereo speakers or, in our case, a stereo receiver with speakers attached.

Then you configure the whole thing with the AirPort Setup Assistant. You have two options: configure it just so it sends iTunes to the speakers or configure it so it extends an existing AirPort network. I chose the second option. I mean, why not? And the iTunes to stereo thing still works.

It’s kind of cool to control the stereo upstairs with my PowerBook in the kitchen.

I’m impressed. I added a tiny bit of info to the book about it. But I’m also going to write an article about it for InformIt.com. That’s how I pay for this stuff, after all.

Too Old for a Helicopter Ride, Part II

An update to an earlier entry.

If you read these blogs faithfully (although I’m not sure why you would), you may recall my “Too Old for a Helicopter Ride?” rant about two weeks ago. This is an update to that saga.

When I received the letter starting “Due to the age of our members…”, I was outraged. I mean that in the real sense of the word. It ticked me off that someone in Texas should play “daddy” to some retirees at a park in Arizona.

I wrote a letter to the editor of the Wickenburg Sun. It was printed in yesterday’s edition.

So far, I’ve received about eight comments from people who have read it. Two of them live in North Ranch, where folks are “too old” to enjoy helicopter rides (according to the President of their Association, not me). One of those people actually looked up my phone number in the phone book and called me.

All comments were in the same vein: how could he write something like that? Aren’t these people able to make their own decision about what they’re too old for? Besides, a helicopter ride sounds like fun.

Some comments showed disbelief. One person actually wanted to see the letter. I’ll bring him a copy this week.

I’m sure I’ll get some comments from people who aren’t happy about my letter to the editor. I always do. There’s always someone out there who misses the point entirely. In this case, someone will probably think I’m attacking North Ranch, rather than the sorry attitude of the man in Texas who makes all the decisions.

Perhaps Bud Carr will call. What will I say? Nothing. I’ve said it all. Besides, it’s a waste of time to talk to someone with a closed mind, and I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that his is as closed as a steel trap.

Living Will

I pass along something amusing (and rather sad) to readers who think.

This morning, I got an e-mail from my cousin Kathy who lives back in New York. Kathy teaches school and is one of the family’s more thoughtful members. (Sadly, she’s related by marriage, so it doesn’t help us score points in our bloodline.)

Kathy often passes on funny things she receives via e-mail. Unlike a lot of folks who forward stuff to me, the ones I get from Kathy that aren’t related to menopause or the stupidity of men are often quite well written and funny. This one was like that. I want to share it with readers here.

Sadly, I don’t have a by-line for the piece and don’t know who wrote it so I can’t include credit for it. I did not write it. If anyone out there knows the original author of this piece, please let me know. And obviously, since I respect copyright, if the author has a problem with me sharing this, he should contact me so I can remove it. Frankly, if I’d wrote it, it would be…well, right here. And I’d be proud to put my name on it.

That said, here it is. Read it and think.

Below is an example of a LIVING WILL you may want to draft in light of recent events:

* In the event I lapse into a persistent vegetative state, I want medical authorities to resort to extraordinary means to prolong my hellish semiexistence. Fifteen years wouldn’t be long enough for me.

* I want my wife and my parents to compound their misery by engaging in a bitter and protracted feud that depletes their emotions and their bank accounts.

* I want my wife to ruin the rest of her life by maintaining an interminable vigil at my bedside. I’d be really jealous if she waited less than a decade to start dating again or otherwise rebuilding a semblance of a normal life.

* I want my case to be turned into a circus by losers and crackpots from around the country who hope to bring meaning to their empty lives by investing the same transient emotion in me that they once reserved for Laci Peterson, Chandra Levy and that little girl who got stuck in a well.

* I want those crackpots to spread vicious lies about my wife.

* I want to be placed in a hospice where protesters can gather to bring further grief and disruption to the lives of dozens of dying patients and families whose stories are sadder than my own.

* I want the people who attach themselves to my case because of their deep devotion to the sanctity of life to make death threats against any judges, elected officials or health care professionals who disagree with them.

* I want the medical geniuses and philosopher kings who populate the Florida Legislature to ignore me for more than a decade and then turn my case into a forum for weeks of politically calculated bloviation.

* I want total strangers – oily politicians, maudlin news anchors, ersatz friars and all other hangers-on – to start calling me “Bobby,” as if they had known me since childhood.

* I’m not insisting on this as part of my directive, but it would be nice if Congress passed a “Bobby’s Law” that applied only to me and ignored the medical needs of tens of millions of other Americans without adequate health coverage.

* Even if the “Bobby’s Law” idea doesn’t work out, I want Congress – especially all those self-described conservatives who claim to believe in “less government and more freedom” – to trample on the decisions of doctors, judges and other experts who actually know something about my case. And I want members of Congress to launch into an extended debate that gives them another excuse to avoid pesky issues such as national security and the economy.

* In particular, I want House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to use my case as an opportunity to divert the country’s attention from the mounting political and legal troubles stemming from his slimy misbehavior.

* And I want Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to make a mockery of his Harvard medical degree by misrepresenting the details of my case in ways that might give a boost to his 2008 presidential campaign.

* I want Frist and the rest of the world to judge my medical condition on the basis of a snippet of dated and demeaning videotape that should have remained private.

* Because I think I would retain my sense of humor even in a persistent vegetative state, I’d want President Bush – the same guy who publicly mocked Karla Faye Tucker when signing off on her death warrant as governor of Texas – to claim he was intervening in my case because it is always best “to err on the side of life.”

* I want the state Department of Children and Families to step in at the last moment to take responsibility for my well-being, because nothing bad could ever happen to anyone under DCF’s care.

* And because Gov. Jeb Bush is the smartest and most righteous human being on the face of the Earth, I want any and all of the aforementioned directives to be disregarded if the governor happens to disagree with them. If he says he knows what’s best for me, I won’t be in any position to argue.