A Riddle

Some humor forwarded by my friend, Tom.

If anyone knows the source of this, please let me know so I can properly credit it.

On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth.

He asked her, “How does one manage to run a country so well and so effortlessly?

“That’s easy,” she replied, “You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors.”

“But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?” he inquired.

“You ask them a riddle,” she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, “Would you please send Tony Blair in.”

When Blair arrived, the Queen said, “I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?”

Blair replied, “That’s easy. The child was me.”

“Very good,” said the Queen, “You may go now.”

So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove. He said to him, “I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?”

Rove replied, “Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?”

“Yes,” said Bush, “I’ll give you four hours to come up with the answer.”

So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.

As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said, “Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me? Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?”

“That’s easy,” said Powell, “The child was me.”

“Oh thank you,” said Rove, “You may just have saved me my job!”

So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, “I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Colin Powell!”

“No, you idiot!” shouted Bush, “The child was Tony Blair!”

You Can Delete the Recycle Bin?

I guess so. I just did it.

My latest adventure in Windows computing…deleting the Recycle Bin. What I meant to do was empty the Recycle Bin. But I right-clicked and chose Delete. In a flash, it was gone. I couldn’t find an Undo command.

Oops!

I found another Recycle Bin in the Folders list when I double-clicked the Computer icon on my desktop. (I’m running Windows Vista.) I dragged it to the desktop and it turned into a shortcut icon for the Recycle Bin. Was the old icon a shortcut, too? When I opened the Recycle Bin, the one I deleted wasn’t there so I couldn’t compare.

Whoda thunk you could delete the Recycle Bin?

On a more positive note, I was finally able to print my FAA Operations Specifications from the IOPSS Web site. The software I had to use, which requires a Windows PC, is a client shell for accessing a system on the FAA server. It’s not at all intuitive. For the past four months, I’ve been trying, off and on, to print the 30+ page document that I’m required to have onboard my helicopter. I think the version I had in there was up-to-date, but I figured I could be sure by printing a fresh copy every once in a while. Today was the first time I’ve gotten it to print since I moved out of my old office. Oddly enough, the printer started running after I logged off the FAA server. How weird is that?

I do feel as if printing it was an achievement, since the printer in question is connected via Ethernet directly to my G5 Mac and the PC accesses it wirelessly through printer sharing. I’m always surprised when I can get that setup to work. The last time I successfully printed, I had to do a direct USB connection from one of my other printers to the PC.

Quick Vanilla Egg Cream

Something different.

I spent most of the day cleaning out my closet, doing errands, and sending out take-down notices to file hosting companies illegally distributing my ebooks. It’s this last task that I found most depressing. There are hundreds of pirate sites out there and getting my book off one server is like stomping out a fire in hell. There’s always another fire to stomp out. Always. But I just can’t give up.

To cheer myself up, I thought I’d make myself a chocolate egg cream. But when I opened the fridge to pull out ingredients, my eyes fell upon the Jones Vanilla Cream soda. What would happen, I mused, if I mixed that with milk? Would I wind up with a vanilla egg cream?

I tried it. It worked.

The recipe:

  • 8-10 ounces milk. I use 2% because that’s what we buy at home.
  • 1 12-oz can vanilla cream soda. Jones works.

Put the milk in a very large glass. It should be only half full. Slowly pour in the pop, stirring constantly. Stirring is important; if you don’t stir, it will overflow. Pop in a straw and enjoy.

I think that if you used skim milk and diet soda, this might be low-calorie. But I don’t drink diet soda. I hate the taste of artificial sweeteners.

Morning in Wickenburg

This time of year, the best only time to be outdoors.

Monsoon season is upon us here in Arizona. That means the heat doesn’t really let up — unless the sky is clear at night and the humidity drops a bit. Last night was a clear night and this morning, it’s comfortably cool on my back patio, with a temperature in the 70s. I decided to enjoy it while it lasted.

I made my coffee and brought it outside with my laptop to sit at our new table on the patio. As usual, the family of three mule deer — two does and a yearling — wandered down the wash to drink at my neighbor’s cottonwood tree. My neighbor had planted the tree years ago and it grew quickly on constant irrigation. They decided to wean the tree off irrigation and it responded by losing leaves on three main branches. So my neighbor turned the water back on and now a puddle of it gathers at the foot of the tree. That’s where the deer come, in early morning and late evening, to drink. One of these mornings, I’ll get a picture of them as they cautiously make their way across the wide-open wash to the tree.

From my back patio, I can see plenty of other wildlife. Birds of course — thrushes, Gila woodpeckers, cactus wrens, and others I can’t name come to feed on seed I throw in the yard. Turkey vultures (or “buzzards,” as we call them) and red-tailed hawks patrol the neighborhood for prey, both dead and alive. We also get regular visits by at least a dozen hummingbirds — provided I keep the four feeders filled. (They’re almost empty now, yet a hummer is visiting one of them as I type this.) I also see rabbits — cottontails and Jack rabbits — and the occasional coyote. Far less often, I see javelina, roadrunners, gila monsters (which I captured on video here), and snakes.

Lichen HouseThe sun is rising now, casting a golden glow over my other neighbor’s house. It was built at least 20 years ago — a long time in Wickenburg — on a lichen-covered cliff. It’s a small, two-story house with a screened-in patio that looks out toward us. (I hope our house looks at least half as nice from theirs as theirs does from ours!) It has a ranch-style windmill, with the word FIASA on its tail, that draws water from a well. We use the windmill’s vanes and another neighbor’s big orange windsock to judge wind speed with a glance out the back door.

The lichen house is empty now. The previous owners sold it to some folks with enough money to live elsewhere during the summer. But even though they don’t live in the house, they’ve already made their mark on it, tearing out the tangle of desert vegetation along the wash for what many people think may be an arena someday. Now, it looks like the former home of a lot of displaced wildlife: a big, sandy clearing that spawns dust devils on hot, still days. Everyone in the neighborhood is waiting to see what becomes of the new clearing the next time the wash flows big.

All this — quiet mornings observing wildlife from my back patio — will soon come to pass. Arizona is growing quickly, feeding the bank accounts of greedy developers and destroying acre after acre of pristine desert land. Wickenburg is no exception. As developers get their hands on cheap land, they seem to have no trouble getting approval for their ever-denser housing projects. The area I live in was once zoned one house per 5 acres; when Wickenburg annexed it, zoning changed to one house per acre. But that doesn’t matter. If a developer tries hard enough — which apparently isn’t very hard at all — he can get higher density to milk as much money as he can off the land.

This seems to be what people want — to live roof-to-roof with their neighbors. I guess they like to hear their neighbor’s kids at drum practice or listen in on family arguments next door. Or maybe they don’t mind having an audience while they swim in their pool or try to have a romantic evening in the hot tub. Or get embroiled in petty neighborhood arguments about the color of someone’s house or another neighbor’s failure to keep his yard clear of weeds.

I can’t live like that. That’s why I moved to Wickenburg ten years ago. But just as people change, so do towns. Wickenburg is not what it was ten years ago. With twice as many people and fewer successful businesses, it has finally become the retirement town the Chamber of Commerce wanted. Trouble is, I’m not retired.

All of my friends around my age have already abandoned Wickenburg. I can’t blame them. There are few decent jobs here and limited services. While the seniors don’t mind driving 30-40 miles southeast to shop at Wal-Mart, I’d rather buy goods locally from smaller, more friendly shops. Unfortunately, most of those shops can’t survive in Wickenburg because the population majority — all those retirees — prefer Wal-Mart. So businesses fail at an alarming rate. And the people who don’t have time to make the 30-40 mile drive once or twice a week — you know, people who have to work for a living? — simply don’t move into town.

So as I sit here on my back patio, enjoying a cool breeze too slight to set the windmill in motion, I think about my future and my decision to move on — at least for half the year. This is my last summer in Wickenburg — that’s something I’ve already decided. Whether I get an out-of-town summer job every year or actually find a summer residence in another state remains uncertain.

Because summer mornings like these are rare. There just aren’t enough of them for me here in Wickenburg to keep me waiting for the next one.

Blog, Defined VERY Broadly

A definition I can live with.

I try very hard to follow a number of blogs. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough hours in a day for me to keep up with the ones worth following. But Deep Jive Interests is one of them.

In a post today, Tony Hung wrote an excellent rebuttal to Jakob Nielsen’s recent article urging people to write white papers instead of blogs. In it, he defined the term blog. From Jakob Nielson — With The Humblest Respect? You Don’t Understand Blogging, Sir. on Deep Jive Interests:

I like to define it in the broadest way possible, independent of the content, or things like comments. A blog is simply a way of distributing content in reverse chronological order.

Now this is something I can live with. It leaves bloggers open to write about whatever they like, using any format they like. And that’s what I try to do here — which is why this blog is such a hodgepodge of information and ideas.

I recommend Tony’s article. If you’re a serious blogger, check it out — and subscribe to the feed for his blog, Deep Jive Interests.

As for Mr. Nielsen…well, my opinion of him has dropped somewhat after reading “Write Articles, Not Blog Postings” on his site. Too bad he doesn’t allow comments on his site. I’m sure plenty of bloggers would help set him straight.