Doubtful. It exceeds my tolerance for bullshit.

I just (virtually) walked out of a (virtual) UPS Rehire Job fair.

My History with UPS

Back in 2024 (I think) I signed up for a seasonal job with UPS. I figured that it would get me out of the house, keep me more active than I would be at home, and make a few bucks. I got a job as a Driver Helper. That’s the person who sits in the jump seat of the truck and runs packages to the doorstep.

I think I worked a total of four times before I gave up and went south for the rest of the season.

While I really enjoyed working with my regular driver, Tonya, on the route that covered my neighborhood, I was only able to do that three times. I thought we made a great team with her pulling out the packages and the two of us dropping them at doorsteps. I got a lot of steps in and was exhausted at the end of the afternoon. I say afternoon because it always started around noon and was only supposed to go until 4 PM. But it made absolutely no sense for Tonya to break off the route 5+ miles away from where I’d met her and left my car, just to go back and finish it alone. So I finished the local deliveries with her, usually working 5 to 6 hours.

The other time I worked was with a fill-in driver on the same route. That’s when I realized how screwed up UPS’s routing software was. The driver didn’t know the route so she followed the instructions on her handheld device. I was paying attention. I noticed that we passed one house 4 times while delivering other packages before we finally stopped at that house to deliver them. There was a lot of criss-crossing and driving in circles. It wasn’t the driver; it was the instructions. It took a long time. It got dark. There was snow and ice on some of the roads. The driver got the truck stuck on the ice up in the hills. UPS doesn’t send out help. She had to call a friend to pull us out. What a fiasco!

I was offered other work. All the offers came by text message, usually at around 10:30 AM. I was supposed to reply Y or N. No talking to anyone, no texting with anyone. It was all done by a machine.

The Work I Didn’t Take

One day they offered me 2 hours of work in Chelan, which is an hour (40+ miles) away from where I live. Drive 2 hours for 2 hours of work? Are they kidding me? I said no. Twenty minutes later, they offered me another 2 hours in Chelan starting at a different time. Apparently, I would have gone from one driver to another, but instead of selling it as 4 hours in Chelan, they sold it as 2 and I said no both times.

That wasn’t the only time they offered just 2 or 3 hours of work a long way from home. I said no every time. I’m not that desperate for work that I’m willing to drive for hours just to get a few hours of paid work.

(For the record, years ago I applied for a tasting room job in Leavenworth. That’s also an hour from where I live. While I was happy that there were 8 hour shifts available, they also wanted me to take 4 hour shifts. For a minimum wage job? It just didn’t pencil out for me so I said no.)

What do I want? 10 to 20 hours a week spread over 2 to 3 days. If I’m going to leave my house to work, I want at least 6 hours of work in a day. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. I know there’s plenty of work that needs to be done.

The Rehire Job Fair

I was pretty surprised to get an email from UPS a few weeks ago inviting me to a “Rehire Job Fair.” I thought my long string of N responses would have put a black mark next to my name.

I knew they had positions that would enable me to use my own car to deliver packages. I was unable to apply for that job two years ago because neither my truck nor my Jeep met their qualifications: 4 doors (that ruled out the Jeep) and enclosed compartment for the packages (that ruled out the truck). But now I have the RAV4 and I know it’ll meet their needs. Maybe I could do that.

I should have read that initial email more closely. I thought it was an event at the local UPS warehouse in Wenatchee. They prompted me for a time to attend and I picked a slot early in the day. I got reminders regularly, including the one that came this morning and, for some reason, stated the time in EDT. That was weird. I showered, got dressed, and headed out.

I’d printed out the email that came today and stopped at the end of the road to make sure it was at the warehouse and not somewhere else. And that’s when I realized that there was no address. The event was virtual, a “webinar” with chat. Damn. I turned around and went home.

I made breakfast while I logged into the webinar. I had to create a new account; for some reason my existing UPS account did not work.

The webinar was a video with UPS people talking about their UPS jobs. It was upbeat bullshit. It was all recorded, automated, and totally divorced from reality.

The event was nationwide with hundreds of people attending. They asked questions in online chat. Very few of them (including mine) got responses. I could sense that I wasn’t the only one frustrated by the complete lack of human involvement.

I didn’t want to watch the same bullshit videos I’d been forced to watch as part of the hiring process two years ago. I wanted to talk to a person in person. I wanted to tell him/her what I could do for them and how much I wanted to work. I wanted them to tell me to my face whether that was possible or if they simply had to offer what the machine was programmed to offer. Like last time.

So I closed the webinar window. And I went to my desk and wrote this.

I’m Not Cut Out for Employment Today

I have come to realize that I’m not cut out for employment the way it’s handled these days. I’m tired of automation and videos that are supposed to tell you everything you need to know — and don’t. I’m tired of having questions with no person to answer them. I think it’s a crying shame that this is how employment is handled these days.

I’m not that desperate to work that I’m willing to sacrifice hours of my life for a few hours of paid work here and there.

And the thing that bothers me most: I know I can do this job efficiently and effectively. I know I can be a trouble-free employee. I have a strong work ethic when I have a job to do. I am a responsible adult.

But my time is the most valuable thing I have. I simply cannot waste it for an organization that clearly doesn’t give a flying fuck about its seasonal employees.

So no, it doesn’t look like I’ll be working for UPS again.