Tag Archives: jobs

On Ghostwriting

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There are only two reasons to do it.

Yes, I’m a helicopter pilot and jewelry artist now. But my second career, which has pretty much wound down at this point, was as a freelance writer. That career, which was in full swing when I started this blog in 2003 (not a typo) was successful enough for me to buy multiple investment properties, completely fund my retirement, take flying lessons, and buy a helicopter.

So yes, I think it’s fair to say that I know a bit about the business of writing.

The Crazy Ghostwriting Offer

So imagine my surprise when I see a tweet from a wannabe writer offering to “ghostwrite your sci fi, fantasy story, ebook, novel” for $5.

My first thought was what kind of desperate idiot would write someone else’s book for $5?

Let’s be clear here: writing may not be terribly difficult — it wasn’t for me — but it is time consuming. The fastest I ever churned out a book was a 280-pager in 10 days. It was my third or fourth book. Would I have taken $5 for 10 days of work? Hell no.

Would I have taken $5 for any piece of writing that had someone else’s name on it? Fuck no.

Ghostwriting Explained

Ghostwrite definition
Definition from Merriam-Webster: ghostwrite.

That’s what ghostwriting is all about: writing something for someone else and having that person’s (or another person’s) name on on it as the author. In most (or probably all) cases, copyright goes to the person or organization who hired the ghostwriter. This is a work for hire, which is relatively common in the publishing world.

Ghostwriters are commonly used by famous people with a story to tell — often biographical in nature — who lack the skill, time, and/or desire to sit down and write it. Remember, writing isn’t easy for everyone, there are lots of really crappy writers out there, and writing takes time, no matter how good or bad a writer is. Ghostwriter names don’t usually appear as author, although sometimes they’ll appear in smaller print after “as told to” or something like that.

There’s no glory in being a ghostwriter.

Dvorak's Inside Track
This is the first book I was involved in; I was a ghostwriter on 4 chapters and am mentioned in the acknowledgements.

I know this firsthand. My first book project was as a ghostwriter for John C Dvorak and Bernard J David on Dvorak’s Inside Track to the Mac back in 1991. Bernard hired me, after his agent suggested me, to write one chapter of the book. They liked what I turned in so much that they hired me for another three chapters. (You can read about this in a post titled “Freebies” on this site. I highly recommend reading this if you’re starting out as a writer and hope to make a living at it.)

Much later in my career, I ghostwrote a chapter or two for someone else’s book — was it the Macintosh Bible? I can’t even remember. In that case, I had expertise that the author lacked and the writing experience to get the job done right and on time.

Why Be a Ghostwriter?

Would I ghostwrite something today? Well, that depends. In my mind, there are only two reasons to ghostwrite a book:

  • Money. Plain and simple. That’s the only reason I did that second ghostwriting job. They paid me. And it wasn’t $5. (I honestly can’t remember what it was, but at that point in my career, it must have been at least $2,000.) Even that first ghostwriting gig, when I was a complete unproven unknown writer, paid me $500 per chapter — that’s $2,000 total.
  • Relationship building. This one is a little grayer. Suppose a publisher/editor contacted me about ghostwriting a book for a famous pilot. Suppose they were willing to pay (more than $5) but it wasn’t quite enough to get me to drop what I was doing and get to work. But suppose that this publisher/editor was building a book series by a bunch of pilots and the series was already popular. There was the definite possibility that ghostwriting this book could lead to more offers. And, if they liked my work enough, I’d be able to negotiate higher fees or other benefits — like an “as told to” byline on the cover — or even royalties on future work. If I thought this offer was a relationship builder that could lead to more or better opportunities in the future, I might go for it. It’s relationship building that I really got from those first four book chapters for Bernard. I co-authored my first book with him and that launched a solo writing career that spanned 85 books and hundreds of articles in just over 20 years.

At every writing opportunity, every writer should be asking one big question: what’s in it for me?

(Haven’t read my “Freebies” post yet? This is a perfect time to go do that.)

Why is this guy offering to write someone else’s book for $5? I can’t imagine — unless he just doesn’t have any ideas and wants someone to feed them to him?

Otherwise, why wouldn’t he just write his own damn book and self-publish it? Then at least his name would be on the cover and he’d own the copyright. He might even make more than $5.

Writers Write

I’ve been a writer since I was 13 years old and wrote stories and book chapters in spiral ring binders. Back then, I tried entering short story contests and failed miserably, not really knowing how to get started, and honestly, not being a very good writer. (I have those old notebooks to prove it; they make me cringe!) But I wrote anyway because I was a writer and the more I wrote — and read, don’t forget that! — the better I got.

(By the way, I write in this blog because I’m a writer. Real writers write. We can’t help it. I just don’t need to make a living as a writer anymore.)

Meanwhile, my family pounded the idea of having a stable career into my head. Writing was not a stable career — at least not in their minds. Being young and foolishly believing that they knew best, I made a wrong turn into a career in auditing and finance, losing 8 years that I could have spent building a writing career. By the time I became a freelance writer back in 1990, I had a home and financial responsibilities. I had to make a living as a writer. There was no going back.

Could I have made a living as a writer if I didn’t analyze every opportunity I found? Of course not. Instead, I’d be banging away at an office job, writing stories, likely never to be published, on evenings and weekends — as I did during my 8 year wrong turn.

The Take-Away

The takeaway is this: if you want to write, write. If you want to make a living as a writer, make sure you don’t sell yourself short. Take only the jobs that will move your career forward — or at least help pay the bills.

My Life During the Coronavirus Age

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Life isn’t that different for some of us.

As COVID-19 continues to rage throughout most of the world — with the notable exception of New Zealand these days — I’ve been doing what I can to avoid getting the virus and, if I have a mild, undiagnosed case, prevent spreading it.

Precautions

The primary way I “stay safe” is to stay home as much as possible. This isn’t difficult because I don’t have anywhere else I need to go other than the supermarket or other shops to get necessities.

For grocery shopping, I occasionally use the pickup service at Fred Meyer, which enables me to place a grocery order and pick it up in a predetermined time slot. If I do go to the store in person, I go in the morning, right after it opens, and I wear a mask.

Wear a mask.

For the folks who can’t be bothered to wear a mask indoors in public places, I say fuck you.

People who wear masks do so to protect others, including you. The very least you can do is wear a mask to protect them.

No excuses. Wear a fucking mask.

Until recently, more than half the customers were wearing masks when I shopped, but things have slacked off here. What bothers me more is that although the store employees are required to wear masks, about half of them do not cover their noses. This includes the checkout staff, who touch everyone’s food and money. On a recent trip, I brought my own bags, which they refuse to pack, specifically so they wouldn’t touch my food more than they had to. When the girl who does the packing — who had a loose-fitting mask that didn’t cover her nose — started handing me my groceries, I told her pointedly not to touch my stuff. I don’t care if she was offended; if she can’t wear her mask properly, she shouldn’t be touching anything.

I’ve been working on various yard projects that need building materials. Every time I needed something, I’d place an order at Home Depot or Lowes and go pick it up. I quickly learned that Home Depot didn’t get it; they required me to go into the store and wait on line to pick up my lumber order; clearly this could have been handled curbside. When they refused to let me exit through the closest door, thus forcing me to walk through the crowded checkout area where no one was wearing masks, I decided that I didn’t need to shop at Home Depot anymore. Lowes had better pickup systems in place and that’s where I now shop for lumber and garden supplies.

Pressure Reducer
I finally put a good pressure reducer on my garden hydrant, which has unregulated pressure over 100 psi.

I had to visit an irrigation supply store to pick up a pressure reducer for my irrigation system and was pleased to see that they were limiting the number of people inside the shop to the number of sales folks they had. The waiting spots outside were marked with tape 6 feet apart. Because the line was outdoors and spaced properly, I wasn’t wearing my mask. Some jackass parked, got out of his SUV, and stood right next to me. He wasn’t wearing a mask. “It’s all a hoax,” he said to me. I looked at him, said “Sure,” and moved six feet away. I was glad when it was my turn to go in.

I have had to meet with clients to pick up checks or maps. One of them handed me a mask when I came into his office; I’d left mine in the truck because it was supposed to be a quick stop. The next time I visited, I wore mine and I know he appreciated it.

(I should note here that since beginning this blog post in mid-June, Washington is now under a mandatory mask order. As you might expect, the brainwashed, flag-waving Fox News viewers around here are already screaming bloody murder about that. I don’t care. I’ll wear mine in public, walk out of stores where people aren’t wearing them, and spend the vast majority of my time at home.)

Social Isolation

The “social isolation” that so many folks are having trouble dealing with isn’t a bother at all to me. I’ve been living alone nearly full-time since May 2012 and, before that, was alone for one quarter to half the time for the previous 14 years because of either my wasband’s extensive travel schedule or mine. I’m not only used to being alone, but I enjoy it. I make my own flexible schedule and get a lot done. I’m free to do what I like when I want to do it, whether it’s mealtime, spontaneous trips, or just going to bed early once in a while.

And are we really socially isolated? Most folks are stuck at home with their families — and I pity them; at this point in my life I’d go nuts if I were stuck at home with anyone. Those of us who live alone can still communicate with friends and family members via telephone, text, and Skype/Zoom calls. I’ve always been active on Twitter, which I’ve considered my “office water cooler” for years; I’ve actually become closer to Twitter friends. I’ve participated in more than a few Zoom gatherings in the past few months where I’m able to socialize with people from all over the world. (Well, mostly the US, Canada, and UK.)

For personal contact, I still meet up with folks who are following the same precautions I am — mostly neighbors and a few smart friends. Before cherry season started, we met up once in a while for an afternoon glass of wine. Alcohol is out of the question for me until August, so our meetups have been less structured, but that’s okay. Because of the limited number of folks in my neighborhood and the simple fact that we all have the same sort of work-at-home lifestyle, I don’t feel worried when I’m visiting any of them. We’re not dumb and we’re all doing our best to avoid infection.

Finances

Sunset Out Front
My pups go out for a walk on the front lawn before bed. We’ve been having some awesome sunsets lately.

Virus lockdowns haven’t affected me nearly as much as many other people. Although it has pretty much dried up two of my revenue streams — AirBnB management and jewelry sales — my primary source of income — drying cherry trees with my helicopter after it rains — has not been affected at all. So while I’ll take a revenue hit this year, it won’t be much of a burden.

I realize that I’m extremely fortunate to be in this situation, but I also know that it’s not just “luck” that put me here. After 30+ years being self-employed, I learned the importance of multiple revenue streams. I don’t think a year has gone by when all my income came from just one source. The benefit is that if one or two revenue streams dry up, I still have money coming in from other places and work I do. This year, I added a website client for the first time in at least 10 years; it isn’t much money overall, but it’s a nice replacement for my AirBnB revenue stream.

I’m also well insulated against financial hardship because I carry very little debt. My home is paid for; the loan on my truck will be paid off within the next year. (I’m actually tripling payments on it now with the goal of having it paid up by December.) I have a small loan on the land I live on and am doubling payments on that to get that paid off quickly, too. That’s it. I have no credit card debt or any other debt.

One thing I learned early in life — which was reinforced during my relationship with a man who just didn’t “get it” — is that when you have a lot of debt, you become a slave to it. How can you take the risk of starting a new job or career or business when you need the income from the job you have to keep your head above water? When you need every paycheck to pay bills or maintain a certain (possibly extravagant) lifestyle, how can you break free if you want to? The answer is, you can’t. And if that job evaporates, you’re pretty much sunk, possibly stuck with taking a less desirable job with a smaller paycheck that does little to relieve the stress of all those bills. I saw it happen over and over in the last years of my marriage.

I think a lot of folks are going through that now and I feel bad for them. Some honestly can’t help it because of personal or family circumstances that they really can’t control. But I’m equally sure that others could have softened the blow by staying out of the deep debt trap. The key is living a life that’s well within your means and saving what you don’t need to spend. Saving for a rainy day make sense when the rain comes.

Sorry to lecture but this is something that I’ve always felt strongly about. My wasband’s inability to live within his means trapped him in a series of jobs he didn’t really like, making him a bitter old man who blamed me for his unhappiness later in life. I have to wonder how many relationships in this country are similarly torn apart by a simple lack of financial wisdom on the part of one or both partners.

Killing Time

Drying Cherries
I’ve been out drying cherries a few times since my season started in late May. You can watch the video for this flight here.

Overall, my life in the Coronavirus Age isn’t very different from what it was before that. After all, every summer is pretty much the same: organize cherry drying contracts, get together a team of pilots, and hang around at or near my home, on call during daylight hours for about two and a half months, waiting for calls after it rains. I’ve got a total of four guys working with me this year, all with R44s. It’s a good team of professional pilots and, so far, my clients have been very happy with our service.

Veggies
Here’s some of June’s harvest. I got an early start on my garden and have been eating food I’ve grown since the beginning of the month.

Since I’m stuck at home, I spend a lot of time on home projects. This year, my garden is bigger and better than ever, finally set up with eleven neatly placed plastic cherry bins as raised planter beds. I replaced the border around the gravel part of my gravel parking apron. I planted more trees and put them on irrigation. I moved my bee yard closer to my house, caught three bee swarms, and put two more bee packages into new homes. I’m finally getting around to finishing the stairwell in my entry area. I replaced my Wink home automation hub with a SmartThings hub. I sold a bunch of beekeeping equipment I didn’t need anymore. I’ve done my duty as a weed spray person for the association and used my DR mower to help a neighbor get rid of weeds along her 1/3 mile long driveway.

Bighorn Sheep
Being home all the time makes it tough to miss when the local bighorn sheep come down off the cliffs and graze in my yard. I took this photo yesterday from my deck.

I’m also making videos for the FlyingMAir YouTube channel. Cherry drying videos, tour videos, 360° videos, cross country flight videos. Videos of me moving the helicopter from the airport to my landing zone or from my landing zone to an orchard. YouTube has become a small revenue stream for me, but it’s unforgiving: disappoint your audience and you’ll lose them. It’s a lot of work.

Cherry season will end in the middle of August. Unless things get dire, I’ll take my usual week-long trip to celebrate the end of the season. This year, I think I’ll camp with my pups in my truck camper with my little boat at Banks Lake. I might ask a friend of mine to join me with his dog.

I do have some dates scheduled to sell my jewelry at Leavenworth’s Village Art in the Park, which has started up with a lot of restrictions. I think I have four weekends scheduled between the middle of August until the middle of October. We’ll see if they actually happen.

I’ve also booked a trip to Alaska in September, but as the virus situation worsens, I’m having second thoughts. I might cancel or at least put it off until next year.

I am having serious concerns about my winter travels. I normally go south to Arizona, where I camp with friends and travel around a bit, soaking up sun when there’s very little at home. But Arizona — with its flag-waving Fox News viewers — is apparently in denial about the virus and has become a hot spot. I only have one art show scheduled there so far — and I haven’t paid for my booth yet — so it’s easy enough for me to skip it this year. But where would I go? With the helicopter going in for overhaul this winter, I’m on a bit of a budget. Camping out in the desert would be cheap and safe, but I honestly don’t think I could do it for three months straight. I’ll take a wait-and-see approach.

Another Awesome Sunset
Did I mention the awesome sunsets we’ve been having lately? Look closely and you’ll see four of the helicopters on this year’s team of pilots.

Life Goes On

Like most of Americans — hell, most of people all over the world — I’m looking forward to a day when an effective vaccine and treatment is widely available. I wish my fellow Americans would stop whining and complaining and start taking the virus seriously. Wear a mask. Stay out of large gatherings. Wash your hands and your clothes after being exposed to others. Eventually, we’ll lick this thing and life will go back to normal. We all have to do our part.

And that’s basically it. My life hasn’t changed substantially since I normally work at/from home and have a solitary lifestyle. I’m not taking a serious financial hit. I’m one of the “lucky” ones, I guess.

But we all know that we make our own luck.

An Insider’s Look at Helicopter Spray Operations

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Fascinating work with a lot of very specialized equipment.

My friend Sean runs a helicopter spraying operation. (You might know about this kind of work by another name: crop dusting.) The business is highly regulated not only by the FAA to ensure that operators and pilots have the skills and knowledge to do the work safely from an aviation perspective, but also by state and local agencies concerned with the safety of the chemicals being sprayed. It also requires a ton of very costly specialized equipment, from spray rigs that are semi-permanently installed on the helicopter to navigation equipment that helps the pilot ensure chemicals are spread evenly over crops to mixing and loading equipment to get the chemicals into the helicopter’s spray tanks.

Sean's Helicopter with Spray Gear
Sean’s helicopter with spray gear. He was running rinse water through the system on the ground here.

A lot of people have asked me why I don’t go into this business. Although I’d love to fly spray jobs, I have absolutely no desire to invest in the required equipment, start selling spray services to potential clients, or deal with the government agencies that need to get involved for each job. Or have employees again.

Sean is just getting his business off the ground (no pun intended) after over a year of spending money on equipment and jumping through hoops with the FAA. While I wouldn’t say he’s struggling, he’s certainly motivated to complete contracts and collect revenue. Unfortunately, it’s not the kind of work a pilot can do cost effectively without help. He needs at least one person on the ground to mix and load chemicals, refuel the helicopter, and keep the landing zone secure.

Sean was having trouble finding someone to do the job. It’s not because he isn’t paying — I think he’s paying pretty good. Trouble is, a lot of folks either (1) don’t want a job that doesn’t guarantee a certain number of hours a week or (2) don’t like physical labor. Because the job depends on when there’s a contract to fulfill and what the weather is like when the job needs doing, hours are irregular. And it is tough physical work.

Spray Gal
Here I am in my coveralls, hamming it up for a selfie between loads.

I know because I stepped up to the plate to help him with his first two big jobs. I thought I’d spend a bit of time talking about this work from the loader’s point of view.

The Job

The pilot’s responsibilities are to spread the loaded chemicals over the crops to be sprayed using the tools in and on the helicopter. I can’t speak much about that because I haven’t flown a spraying mission. I can tell you that in a light helicopter like the Robinson R44, the pilot is doing a lot of very short runs — sometimes only a few minutes — and is often spending more time getting to and from the spray area than actually applying the spray. For that reason, the landing/loading area needs to be as close to the crops as possible — usually somewhere on the same property. The pilot is taking off near max gross weight for most flights and landing relatively light. And there are a lot of take offs and set downs. As I told Sean the other day, doing spray runs is a lot like doing hop rides at fairs and airport events — you just don’t need to talk to your passengers.

The loader’s responsibilities — well, that’s something I can address since I’ve been wearing that hat for the past two weeks.

When the pilot is warming up the aircraft for the first flight of the day, the loader is mixing the first batch of chemicals. Sean’s current setup includes a mix trailer that holds 1600 gallons of fresh water, a Honda pump, a mix vat, and a dry mix box. With the pump running, I turn valves to add 50 gallons of water to the vat, which is constantly mixing. Then I add about 4-6 capfuls of an anti-foam agent (which is not HazMat) to the vat, followed by a specific amount of chemical provided in 32-ounce bottles.

Mix trailer
Sean’s mix trailer onsite at an orchard near Woodland, CA. This is the “business end.” The mix vat is on the left.

Luna Sensation
This is how the chemical we’re using is shipped: in 32-ounce bottles.

The chemical we’ve been using is a “broad spectrum fungicide for control of plant diseases” made by Bayer (yes, the aspirin people). It is highly regulated and must be kept under lock and key when not in use. It looks a lot like Milk of Magnesia, which was a constipation remedy my grandmother gave us when I was growing up. It doesn’t smell as good, though. (And I’m certainly not going to taste it.) If you’re not familiar with that, think of an off-white Pepto Bismol. We’re spraying this stuff on almond trees and there’s a definite deadline to getting it done.

Here’s where some math comes in. The guy who wrote up the specs for our client’s orchard wants 6.5 ounces of the stuff applied per acre. The helicopter can take 50 gallons of chemical mix at a time. That 50 gallons covers 2.5 acres. So how much do I need to put into the vat for each 50 gallon load? 6.5 x 2.5 = 16.25. Round that down to the nearest whole number for 16. This is an easy mix because the chemical comes in 32 ounce bottles and there are measuring tick marks on the bottle at 8, 16, and 24 ounces. That makes it easy to add half a bottle and get it right. But if it didn’t work out so smoothly, we could use a big measuring cup Sean has to get the right amount.

So I add the chemical and the mixer mixes it up. If I’ve finished the bottle, I need to rinse it, which I do by dipping it in the mixer and then swishing it around a few times before dumping it into the mix. Then I put the empty bottle away in a box; even the empties are accounted for at the end of a job.

As you might imagine, I’m wearing protective gear: rubber gloves and coveralls. This particular chemical isn’t very nasty and I’m not likely to breathe it so I don’t need to wear a respirator or anything like that. (If I did, I probably wouldn’t be helping out.)

All this tank filling and mixing takes me less than 2 minutes.

Stopwatch
I timed one of our cycles. Lap 1 was skids down to skids up: my loading work. Lap 2 was skids up to skids down: Sean’s flight. Less than 4 minutes for a cycle.

When Sean is ready for chemical, I turn the valves on the trailer’s mix system to direct mixed chemical into a thick long hose with a specialized fitting at the end. I bring the fitting over to the helicopter, drop down to my knees (which is why I also wear knee pads), and mate the hose fitting to a fitting on the helicopter’s tank. I then turn a valve on the hose fitting to get the mix flowing into the helicopter. I watch the mix vat the whole time and turn the valve off when it gets near the bottom so I don’t run it dry. Then I get back up and use a pull cord on a pump on the same side of the helicopter to start up his pumping system. When that’s running, I give Sean a thumbs up and head back to the trailer, gently resting the hose fitting on the hose along the way.

I timed this once and it took just over a minute, but that’s because it took two tries to get the helicopter’s pump going.

Sean lifts off immediately — often while I’m still walking away — and I get back to work mixing the next batch. When I’m done with that, I wait until Sean returns. It’s usually less than 4 minutes. Then I’m turning valves on the trailer quickly, sometimes before he even touches down. My goal is to minimize load time so he can take off again quickly.

Landing
Here’s Sean coming in for a landing beside the trailer. And yes, his approach route for a while was under a set of wires. (The rest of the time, he was departing under them.)

I usually leave the pump on the whole time I’m in the loading area, although if Sean’s work area is more than a minute or two from the landing zone, I sometimes shut it off. I wear ear plugs or earbuds so I can listen to music while I work. I keep a radio in my pocket so I can hear Sean if he calls for something or warn him if there’s a problem with the landing zone.

Beyond Mixing/Loading

Every six or seven runs, Sean needs fuel. He often radios ahead, but if he doesn’t or if I don’t hear the radio, I can tell he needs fuel because he throttles down to idle RPM (65%) after landing or makes a hand signal. In that case, I’ll fill the chemical first and return the hose to its resting position, then turn on the fuel pump on his truck, and walk the hose over to the passenger side of the helicopter. Sean said fueling is usually done by walking around the back, but no one can pay me enough money to walk between a helicopter’s exhaust pipe and tail rotor while it’s running. So I walk around the front, dragging the hose under the spray gear to get into position. Then I pump fuel until he gives me a signal to stop. It seems to me that he’s half filling the main tank each time — that’s about 14 gallons less whatever he already has in there.

When I’m done, I cap the tank, carefully walk the hose around the front of the helicopter to the truck, and then go back to start that pesky helicopter pump. Thumbs up and he takes off. I usually remember to turn the fuel pump off. Then I mix another batch of chemical so I’m ready when he returns.

Occasionally his pump or mine needs fuel. He uses helicopter fuel — it’s just 100LL AvGas — for both pumps. He keeps a jug of it at the mix trailer. I do the fueling.

Keeping the landing zone secure is pretty easy. On our last job, we were in a nice concrete loading area for a hay operation. Trucks did come and go, but in most cases, they saw Sean landing or sitting in the landing zone and waited until he was safely on the ground or had departed. Twice I tried to signal trucks to stop when I saw him coming in but they didn’t — both times they didn’t see the signal until it was too late and Sean aborted the landing. In our current landing zone, which is a dirt patch at the edge of the orchard, there’s a truck that comes and goes to haul out dead trees cut into firewood; the driver of that rig seems to pay attention and stops when I signal him.

Getting Physical

The job is extremely physical. All day long I’m walking around the trailer, truck, and helicopter; climbing up and down on the trailer’s mix station and truck bed; and hauling heavy hoses, fuel jugs, and cartons of chemical. And dropping to my knees (and then getting up) when I load the helicopter. And don’t even get me started with the pull cord on the helicopter’s pump, which I apparently pull too hard half the time.

I move at a quick pace, but I don’t run. Running is dangerous. Too easy to trip on a hose or a skid. Too many very hard things to crack your skull on if you fall. Anyone who runs while doing this job is an idiot.

But it can’t be too physical, right? After all, I’m a 55-year-old woman and I’m not in the best of shape. And I’m doing it all — although I’m exhausted at the end of the day.

Hours and Break Time

The job is weather dependent. We can’t work if it’s raining or likely to rain. We can’t work when the wind is more than 7 or 8 knots. We didn’t work Sunday because it was raining on and off all day and very windy.

But when we can work, we start early. We’re typically at the landing zone about an hour before dawn. Usually, Sean gets there first since he has more to do to get ready. He fills his truck’s fuel transfer tank with 100LL from the local airport. That can take 20-30 minutes. Then he comes back to the landing zone and, if the water tank is less than half full, he hooks it up to his truck and drags it to his water source and fills it. That’s another 20-30 minutes. Then he brings it back to the landing zone and positions it based on the wind direction, slipping 4×4 pieces of wood under the trucks rear wheels to bring the front end of the trailer up.

By that time it’s nearly dawn and I’ve arrived. I prep my work station by setting out chemical and anti-foam bottles in the trays on one side of the trailer and boxes for the empty bottles on the other. I suit up in the coveralls and get my knee pads on. While he’s preflighting the helicopter, I’m mixing the first batch of chemicals so I can load as soon as he starts up.

We work pretty much nonstop until we’re out of water. More math: If the trailer’s tank holds 1600 gallons and we’re using 50 gallons per load, we can do roughly 32 loads (1600 ÷ 50) before we’re completely out of water. That’s two 8-bottle cases of chemical. It’s also 80 acres. If you figure an average of 6 minutes per spray run/loading cycle, that’s about 3-1/4 hours.

When we’re out of water, I get my break because Sean has to fetch fuel and water using his truck. There’s nothing too difficult about doing any of it, but since I can really use a break after working that hard for that long, I won’t volunteer to do it. Instead, I strip off my protective gear, wash my hands (if I can), and take Penny for a walk. (She waits in the truck while I’m working.) Or sometimes I run out and get a bite to eat. Or eat a snack I’ve brought with me. That break lasts about an hour. Then it’s back to work all over again for another 3+ hours.

At the end of the day, we run three rinse cycles through all the equipment. I “mix” batches with just water. The first one usually includes some anti-foam stuff because the foam really gets out of hand if I don’t. The second two are straight water. I purposely overfill the mix tank on the third run to make sure the water gets all the way up the sides. Each load gets pumped into the helicopter and sprayed out to clean the spray rig.

Container
The most difficult thing I did on Saturday was to get this container open so I could lock up two cases of chemical.

Then we wind up the hoses, secure the helicopter — or bring it back to base if Sean is near his hangar — lock up any unused chemicals and empty bottles, and call it a night. By that time, it is night; we often do the rinse cycles in the dark. I bring a lantern so I can see.

It’s long day. A very long day. I’ll start at 6 and finish by 7 with two hour-long breaks in the middle of the day. That’s 11 hours of active work.

On Saturday, we worked for most of the day. Yesterday was Sunday and we would have worked all day if the weather was right. There are no “weekends” in this line of work.

So yeah: this job wouldn’t be very attractive to someone who prefers to sit on his ass all day.

But I’m getting a great workout. I know I am because every single muscle in my body was screaming at me this morning when I got out of bed. No pain, no gain, right?

Right?

Why I’m Doing It

Although Sean is paying me for this work and the pay isn’t bad, I’m not doing it for the money. I’m doing it for two reasons:

  • Sean is a friend and he really needs to get this business off the ground. Without a helper, he’d have to mix and load by himself. He’d likely only get a fraction of the acreage done each day. The first orchard I helped him with was 1,000 acres and he did have another part time helper. This one is about 500 acres and there is no other helper. It would take him well over a week to do it by himself. Together, we’ll knock it off in less than 4 days.
  • I have a natural curiosity about how things work. The best way to learn about something is hands on. I know a lot more about the spray business now than I did two weeks ago and that’s a real motivator for me.

We’re down in Turlock, CA for this job. It’s 100 miles from Sean’s base near Woodland, which is also where I’m camped out for the next few weeks. Although I wanted very much to bring my camper down here with me and live in the orchard, Sean needed me to tow the mix trailer while he towed his helicopter.

Spray Gear
Here we are on Friday morning, just before dawn, ready to head down to Turlock with the mix trailer behind my truck and helicopter trailer behind Sean’s.

I’m very glad I let him have his way. We’re staying in very comfortable rooms at what’s probably the nicest Best Western I’ve ever stayed in. After months of mostly living in my camper, I admit that it’s nice to have a good, long, hot shower every day. So that’s a bonus.

And isn’t that what life is all about? Doing different things? Seeing different things? Experiencing different things?

That’s what it’s all about for me.

But I admit that I do hope Sean finds a new helper for his next job. I’m not staying in California much longer and I’m ready to hang up my spray loader cap.