Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

A memoir by Alan Alda.

Never Have Your Dog StuffedLately I’ve been floundering around, looking for something new and interesting to read. I heard an interview with Alan Alda on NPR a few months back. He talked about his book, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed. It sounded like something I’d enjoy, so I picked up a copy.

The book was interesting, full of stories from his childhood and his attempts to get started as an actor. His mother was mentally ill and her illness worsened as she aged. His father, Robert Alda, was an actor with humble beginnings in Vaudeville. Alda discusses his relationships with his parents throughout the book.

In reading the book, I learned that M*A*S*H was Alda’s big acting break. Although he’d appeared in a number of theater productions all over the country and a few movies, none of them had given him the boost that he needed to become a well-established actor. M*A*S*H did that for him. It also apparently helped him hone his acting skills so he could perform better and portray his characters more realistically.

If I had to rate the book on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the best, I’d give the book a 3. While it was interesting, it wasn’t the “couldn’t put it down” kind of book I really like to read. In fact, I read it over the course of a few weeks, with 20 or so pages a night before going to sleep.

But if you like to read about actors and other celebrities and have an interest in Alda or his M*A*S*H character, pick up a copy and give it a try. You’re likely to enjoy it more than I did.

Racing [with] Boats

What a rush!

My Lake Havasu job on Friday turned out to be two jobs.

I’d been hired by a man based in Oregon who had designed and built a totally custom, stainless steel speedboat. His company, Liquid Technologies, had brought the boat down to Havasu to participate in a big boating event there. It was the second time the boat was in the water and he wanted to get video of the boat out on the lake. He’d hired Todd from Joker’s Wild Promotions to do the camera work.

Todd met me at the airport at 8 AM on Friday. He decided to sit behind me in the helicopter, so we’d both have pretty much the same view. We took just that door off. It was still cool and the last thing I needed was to catch a cold. Then we put on our life jackets and climbed on board.

Todd told me the game plan as I warmed the engine. The boat would be at the cove at the Nautical Inn, just southwest of London Bridge. We’d go there and circle it as it backed out, then follow it slowly through the no wake zone to the open lake. Then the boat would cruise at about 50 knots and we’d fly with it.

He asked how low I could fly. I told him I didn’t know — I hadn’t flown with a boat before. He told me to stick with my comfort level. No problem there — I’d never do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.

We took off and got to the cove within minutes. The boat was about 45 feet long and silver, looking very sleek. It was surrounded by literally dozens of similar boats, most of which had bright paint jobs, just parked along the cove. We circled the cove three times as it backed out, getting lower with each pass. Then we followed it.

The day was perfect for flying. Little or no wind, still cool and comfortable. The lake water was almost mirror smooth. Zero-Mike-Lima seemed to have all the power in the world with just two of us on board, even with close to full tanks of fuel.

The boat had four men in it, each wearing life jackets and headsets. They did their absolute best not to look at us. That turned out to be a pain in the neck later on, when Todd wanted them to speed up and they never saw his hand signals. We followed them down the lake at a good clip and I got closer and lower in gradual steps. After a while, I was about 15 to 20 feet off the top of the lake, 30 feet from the boat, cruising along beside it at 50 to 60 knots.

Todd gave me instructions to position us in relation to the boat. In front, looking back. Behind, looking forward. Above, looking down. Low, looking straight on. I followed his instructions, keeping an eye on the boat and on the lake in front of me. There were only a few boats out there and I didn’t want to overfly any of them at low level, so once or twice I had to shift position to dodge around another boat.

What’s interesting to me about all this is that I didn’t have to give the flying much thought. Both hands and feet just did what they needed to do to get the helicopter where I wanted it to be. I’d expected the work to be challenging and to require a lot of concentration to do. But it wasn’t that difficult at all. I think it’s because of the flying conditions — which were so darn easy — and the power available to me. There’s no way I could have done the job as easily in an R22 with its limited power and two good-sized people on board.

We got down to the pumping station for one of the two reservoirs near the Parker Dam and I saw an unpleasant sight: high tension power line towers. “I think there are wires ahead,” I said to Todd.

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “I forgot to tell you about them.”

Great. “Well, I want to stop before we get to them,” I said.

He assured me that that’s as far as they’d go. I stopped over the water, climbed up a bit, and went into a slow circle about a half mile upriver from the wires. The boat kept going, then turned around and came back to us. Then we started up again, now going upriver. We started getting fancy, coming up behind the boat, passing it, and flying around its front end as it sped by us. A maneuver very similar to one I’d done at a carmaker’s test track for a film crew months before. Todd was very pleased.

We got back to town and they boat turned around again. Todd switched to still photos. He had a professional Canon camera capable of 6 shots per second at 8 megapixels. We followed the boat about 1/4 back down the lake. It turned and came back. More still photos, more video.

Then we were done. We headed back to the airport. The 1.2 hours of Hobbs time had gone quickly.

I asked Todd how I’d done. He said that I was now his current favorite pilot. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to pay my ferry costs from Wickenburg (1.6 hours round trip), so I don’t know how much work he’ll give me in the future.

We shut down and I closed up the ship. Then we went into town, where he dropped off the video and still photos at his office. One of the guys who works with him, Larry, wasted no time feeding the video into a computer. I got to see some of it. The beginning wasn’t too impressive as I warmed to the task and Todd got used to a new video camera. But then there were a bunch of great sequences. He had over 45 minutes of raw video to go into a 10-minute final video. The still photos were even better. I got to see them on Todd’s computer. He promised to send me a few; maybe I’ll get to show one or more of them off here.

Larry dropped me off at the Nautical Inn, where I met with the client and presented my bill. He was a nice man, excited about the sport and his new boat. He paid me with a check and I left them to find my next client.

Todd had gotten me hooked up with the guys from Extreme Boats magazine. They wanted to get photos of some of the other speedboats as they went downlake for a “lunch run.” So I met with Casey, the magazine publisher, and hitched a ride out to the airport with him and two other guys from the magazine. The other guys left us at the helicopter and a video guy joined us a while later. I took off two doors, stowed them in the video guy’s truck, handed out life vests, and we climbed aboard. A while later, we were on our way back to the cove south of the bridge.

This flight would be significantly different. There were a bunch of boats to shoot and they were all waiting for us. A soon as they caught sight of the helicopter, they took off downlake. Although I was already moving at close to 100 knots, these guys weren’t planning on cruising at only 50. They were race boats and they wanted to race. With a helicopter.

I caught up with our first target boat and dropped down to lake level. I was flying at 90 knots, 20 feet above the water’s surface, and got a real rush out of the experience. Casey snapped away at each boat — his camera could do 8 shots per second at 8 megapixels — then instructed me to chase down the next one. I’d do what I could — some boats were just too fast and too far ahead to catch up with — and then we’d turn around and head back up the lake looking for other boats to shoot.

This was entirely different from the morning’s shoot, which I now considered a training exercise. This was closer to real life race boat photography. The only difference here is that the drivers weren’t in a real race. They wanted the helicopter to take pictures of them. So when they saw me drop back and pick up another target, some of them turned around and chased me down.

To further complicate matters and make it a bit more challenging, it was after noon and the lake was full of boats. Dodging them became a real chore, but overflying them was not an option at that altitude for safety reasons. There was a slight breeze that occasionally sent a ripple of air over the water — just enough to give the helicopter a vertical wiggle. A downdraft — even a slight one — was not something you wanted when you were only 15 feet off the water’s surface.

Meanwhile, the video guy shot some video out the bubble and through his open door. One of his targets was a boat full of girls promoting David Clark products. We were racing along beside them and he was shooting what was probably excellent video when one of the bimbos on board decided to stand up and moon us.

“What the hell is she doing?” one of the guys said.

“We’ll have to edit that out,” the other guy said.

The guys obviously weren’t amused. Sometimes women can be so stupid that I’m embarrased to be one.

We flew around the lake for about an hour, chasing boats, trying to pass them for bow shots, and sometimes succeeding. One of the boats we were supposed to shoot was having engine problems and was dead in the water. They didn’t shoot any pictures or video.

On the way back to the airport, Casey told me about how one of his photographers had taken a swim in an R22. The pilot had been flying so low along the water that he routinely dragged one or both skids along the water surface. The photographer had asked him several times to fly higher, saying that if he wanted photos from that low, he’d be in a boat. The pilot evidently hadn’t gotten the message. On one of his low dips to the water, he dug the skid in too deeply and it caught. The helicopter flipped over and sank. The pilot and photographer were okay, but I wonder whether the pilot learned his lesson.

I don’t think I’d impressed Casey as much as Todd. I like to think that isn’t my fault — that the boat driver’s desire to race with a helicopter — and beat it — had made me look bad. But my helicopter’s never exceed speed with doors off is 100 knots. How can I be expected to catch up with and pass a boat going faster than that?

I settled up with Casey and spent a half hour relaxing in the FBO while the fuel guy topped off my tanks. (There’s still a price war going on at Lake Havasu City Airport and the fuel at Sun Western Flyers is cheaper than in Wickenburg.) It was about 2 PM when I climbed on board and headed home.

Page to Havasu by Helicopter

I fly from one gig to the next.

I had two long distance flying jobs this past week: one in Page, AZ and the the next in Lake Havasu City, AZ. Although the two cities are on the Colorado River, they’re 200 miles apart by air.

My Page job ended at around 6:30 PM on Thursday. With sunset less than an hour away and dark clouds on the southern horizon, flying home was not an option. That didn’t matter; I was prepared for an overnight stay.

The FBO guy at Classic Aviation gave me the courtesy van for the night and I drove into town. A while later, I was checked into a comfortable first-floor room at the Best Western Hotel, with a “Manager’s Special” rate of only $65. Dinner was across the street at the Lake Powell Steakhouse, one of those small-town restaurants that features a soup and salad bar no one would miss if it weren’t there. They had a wine list and I ordered a half bottle of Clois du Bois cabernet — which actually came in a little bottle with a real cork — to go with my prime rib. I couldn’t finish the wine with dinner, so I corked it back up and took it back to my room, where I finished it off out of a styrofoam coffee cup.

I watched a little television before passing out at around 9 PM. I was awake at 3 AM. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately — have a lot on my mind. I spent some time writing about the day before. Then, at 5 AM, I washed up, dressed, and packed up. I was getting back into the van at 5:30 AM.

Sunrise over Navajo MountainI dropped off the van at the airport, leaving the keys tucked inside the van’s logbook under the seat with a $10 contribution for fuel. It took five tries to get the combination right on the locked gate to the ramp. There was no one around. I walked out to the helicopter just as the sun was rising over Tower Butte and Navajo Mountain to the east. The air, which had been completely still, now stirred to life with a gentle breeze. There was enough light for a good preflight and I took some time stowing my bags and the life jackets so I’d be organized when I arrived at Havasu.

Glen Canyon DamI started the engine and warmed it up, giving the engine plenty of time to get to temperature. (Take care of your engine and it’ll take care of you.) At exactly 6 AM — right on schedule — I raised the collective, made a radio call, and took off toward the lake. I swung over the dam for a look and a photo before heading down the Colorado River, over Glen Canyon.

I had a long flight ahead of me.

The Vermilion CliffsMy flight path would take me south along the eastern edge of the restricted Grand Canyon airspace. In a way, it was ironic — less than two years ago, I’d earned part of my living as a pilot flying over the canyon every day, but now I can’t fly past the imaginary line that separates that sacred space from the not-so-sacred space I was allowed to fly. That didn’t mean I didn’t have anything to see. As I flew past Horseshoe Bend and over the narrow canyon, I could see reflections of the canyon wall on the slow moving river below. To the west were the Vermilion Cliffs with Marble Canyon at their base.

The air was wonderfully smooth — as it usually is early in the morning. I could fly at dawn every day. It’s cool and crisp and clear. The sun hasn’t warmed the desert yet so there are no thermals to bump you around. The helicopter goes exactly where you tell it to. Sometimes, it’s like sitting on a lawn chair in an enclosed bubble, guiding yourself over the landscape with gentle pressure on the stick in your right hand. My iPod was connected and turned on with hours of classic rock music to keep me entertained while the radio remained quiet.

Navajo HomesteadsI detoured slightly to the east, keeping to the left of the green line on my GPS that marked Grand Canyon’s airspace. The red rock terrain gave way to rolling hills studded with rock outcroppings and remote Navajo homesteads. I flew low — only a few hundred feet up — enjoying the view and the feeling of speed as I zipped over the ground, steering clear of homes so as not to disturb residents. I saw cattle and horses and the remains of older homesteads that were not much more than rock foundations on the high desert landscape.

Ahead of me, past the Little Colorado River Gorge and route 64, were the cliffs that marked the southern boundary of the reservation. I’d have to climb 2,000 feet to clear them. But above them was a layer of low clouds. From my position near the ground, it almost looked like a fog bank sat on top of the higher plateau. That would be bad news and mean a course change. I started to climb, leaving the earth behind.

Once I was level with the cliff’s edge, I could see that there was some clearance between the plateau and the clouds above it. I reached the southeastern corner of Grand Canyon’s airspace and programmed my GPS for a direct course to Lake Havasu City airport. I turned to the desired course, putting the little airplane on the pink line, and crossed onto the plateau about 300 feet over the top of the cliff. The clouds closed in above me. I split the distance between them and the high desert terrain, flying at about 8,000 feet MSL.

I knew the terrain below me well. Coming from the south, the terrain rose gradually to its highest point at the edge of the cliff. Now, coming from the north, it would descend. I was moving southwest, over tall pines and meadows just like the ones I flew over when I flew at the Grand Canyon. My handheld GPS showed a maze of forest roads and I was surprised to see a handful of ranches I’d never noticed before. But I was on a different course now, not heading toward Howard Mesa or Wickenburg.

The air remained smooth, despite the clouds. The weather was worse to the south. It was cold in the cockpit — although I’d worn long pants, I’d neglected to put a sweatshirt on over my polo shirt. I pulled the heat on.

I switched to Grand Canyon airport’s ATIS frequency. It was still early and the tower hadn’t opened yet. The automated system gave me the winds (light out of the south) and altimeter setting. Then I switched to the tower frequency. I was just passing between Valle and Tusayan when I heard a Scenic Airlines plane make a CTAF radio call. I’d hear him three more times before he finally landed and I was miles away.

The cloud bank ended abruptly, leaving me in the sunshine of a beautiful day. The ponderosa pines were gone and I was flying at about 6500 feet now, over remote ranch land. I’d set my sights on a mountain in the distance to keep on course and the mountain was getting ever closer.

Mountains Near SeligmanThen there were more homes beneath me and pinon and juniper pines. Wisps of low clouds clung to the mountains at my altitude. Past the mountain I’d been aiming for was the town of Seligman on Route 66 and I-40. I crossed over with a quick radio call to the airport and kept going.

Now I was flying over completely new terrain. It was a pleasant mix of tall pines, rocky outcroppings, and rugged mountain peaks. There were a number of nice but mostly small custom homes on large lots below me. They looked, for the most part, deserted — like vacation homes. A sort of Howard Mesa where they actually cared about what people built.

I followed the pink line over a mountain range, flying at about 6,000 feet MSL. Then came a familiar valley — the one route 93 follows up to Kingman. The Big Sandy River was below me and the Hualapai Mountains were in front of me. Rather than dropping down to the valley floor, I kept high, crossing at at least 3,000 feet above the ground so I wouldn’t have to climb again to cross the mountains. At that altitude, I seemed to move at a snail’s pace, although my GPS indicated 120 knots groundspeed. I still had to climb to clear the mountains.

All the time I flew, I kept checking my clock with my GPS’s ETE. Throughout the flight, it appeared that I’d make it to Havasu with about 5 minutes to spare. My airspeed was limited by my altitude — I couldn’t pull as much power or fly as fast at 6,000 feet as I could at 3,000 feet. With that last mountain range behind me, I descended quickly toward the valley floor, bringing my airspeed up to 120 knots with only a slight reduction in power. When I was about 500 feet above the valley, I brought power back in and kept my airspeed at 120 knots.

I switched to Havasu’s frequency and heard a plane call in. I was almost there. Then I passed between two small peaks and followed a wash to the east side of the airport. After two radio calls, I crossed the runway and set down on the ramp.

It was exactly 8 AM.

Flying At Lake Powell

A beautiful place from the air.

If you’re a pilot and want to fly at the lake, you might be interested in my series, “Tips for Flying at Lake Powell“:
Part I: Lake Powell and the Airports
Part II: Avoiding the Tour Planes
Part III: Points of Interest
Part IV: Going Way Uplake

About a month ago, I was contacted by a professional photographer named Mike who lives in the Chicago area. He and several of his friends were planning a photographic excursion to the southwest. They wanted to hire a helicopter for a photo shoot over Lake Powell.

About Lake Powell

If you don’t know anything about Lake Powell, here’s the short story. It was created back in the 1960s when the government built the Glen Canyon Dam on the Colorado River near what is now Page, AZ. It took only seven years to fill the huge lake with water. It acts as a reservoir, produces hydroelectric power, and offers recreational activities including boating, houseboating, water skiing, etc. Recently, the Navajo Nation built a marina at Antelope Point (near the entrance to Antelope Canyon) to generate sorely-needed revenue from on this huge lake in their backyard. The lake sits on the northeastern side of Arizona, stretching northeast into Utah.

I’d been houseboating on Lake Powell twice. I love it. Miles and miles of twisting canyons branch off from the main channel of the river. The shoreline is endless, the rock formations, cliffs, and hidden ruins are enough to keep any explorer busy for a lifetime. If I had my choice of living anywhere in the world, I’d live on a houseboat on Lake Powell. I love it that much.

Of course, there is a movement among conservationists to drain the lake. They claim that the Glen Canyon area was beautiful before the dam and that the lake has destroyed that beauty. They also point out numerous townsites and ruins that were inundated when water levels rose. My response to these people is that it’s too late. The damage is done. And how can you truly fault the decision makers for making some of the most remote desert terrain accessible to the general public? It could have been worse. They could have flooded the Grand Canyon, as they’d planned years ago. Or Yosemite. And come on, guys — we know there are many more beautiful places out there that are just as remote and inaccessible as Glen Canyon was.

Preparing for the Trip

Anyway, after getting the call from Mike, my first task was to call the National Park Service to make sure I could do such a flight. The airspace over Grand Canyon is regulated and I wasn’t sure what kind of regulations existed for The Glen Canyon National Recreation Area, in which the lake sits. I spoke to a ranger in the law enforcement area. He told me that I could do the photo shoot. He suggested that I not fly low over any of the marinas (duh) and reminded me that landing was prohibited anywhere except at a landing strip.

Mike and I made arrangements. I explained I’d need a credit card number and would charge him $1,000 if I flew up to Page and he cancelled. He was fine with that. We set two dates — one in case the first was bad weather — and I sent him a contract.

The month passed quickly. I’ve been unbelievably busy with the helicopter these days, actually making money with it. It seems that my rates are lower than rates charged by other companies with similar (or better) equipment. Even when I charge for ferry costs, my total cost is far below other companies. Understand that I’m not trying to undercut anyone. I just have much lower overhead and am satisfied with a smaller chunk of profit. So my phone has been ringing incessantly. This week, for example, I had custom charters totaling an estimated 16 hours of flight time. While that might be peanuts for large operators, it’s serious revenue for a small company like Flying M Air.

Will Weather Ruin It?

The flight was Thursday. I started checking the weather on Tuesday. It didn’t look bad, but it didn’t look good. Clouds, chance of T-storms, some wind. Not optimal conditions for a photo flight. I looked at my calendar and realized that with some juggling, I could switch the flight to Friday afternoon (after another flight at Lake Havasu), spend the night in Page, and offer them another flight in the morning. I e-mailed Mike. I didn’t get a response. I didn’t realize it, but he was already traveling.

On Wednesday, the weather forecast looked better. But I thought my idea was pretty good. I called Mike and left him a voicemail message on his cell phone.

Thursday morning came. I had a message on my cell phone from Mike. We were still on for Thursday. Fine. The weather forecast looked a little better anyway. I did all my morning stuff, packed a bag, and went out to the airport to prepare the helicopter for the flight.

I was literally stepping into the helicopter at 11:30 AM on Thursday to fly up to Page when my cell phone rang. It was Mike. He wanted to know about the weather. I told him what I knew. He talked to his friends. I heard him mention Friday as an alternative. Then he came back and said “They want to to it today.”

“Fine,” I said. “I’m on my way.” Then I said goodbye, hung up the phone, and turned it off.

I flew up to Page. It was a 1.7 hour flight — lucky for Mike; I had estimated 2 hours and I aways double my ferry time to get round trip ferry time. It was windy in Wickenburg, Prescott, Williams, and Grand Canyon. The wind didn’t let up until I reached the Little Colorado River. From that point on — about 30 minutes — it was a nice, smooth flight. The rest was rather tiresome.

I got to the airport at 1:30 PM. I was supposed to meet Mike at 2 PM. I turned on my cell phone. There was a message. It was from Mike.

“If you haven’t left yet, we want to change it to Saturday.”

Shit.

Well, he knew our deal. He’d signed the contract. If I flew up and he didn’t use me, it would cost him $1,000, which barely covered my costs.

We’re On!

But he showed up at the airport with four companions. I would take them up in two groups — three and then two. Mike would go in the second group. He wanted late afternoon light. The first group wasn’t as concerned about the light.

I went out with the FBO guy to take all the doors off the helicopter. We stored them in Classic Aviation’s hangar. Then the FBO guy drove us all over to the helicopter for the safety briefing and first flight.

The first minor difficulty was language. It appears that they were all from Russia (or some such place) and English was not their first language. We went out to the helicopter and I gave them a safety briefing. One of the men translated for the others to make sure they understood. Then I handed out life jackets, made sure they all put them on, and made sure they were all strapped in and their seatbelts were secured.

A word about the life jackets. I’d bought two of them for a photo flight over Lake Havasu that was scheduled months ago for the next day. The ones I bought were Mustang inflatable collars and they cost me $124 each. They’re small and comfortable to wear and do not automatically inflate when they hit water. The way I see it — and the salesperson at the company I bought them from agreed — you want to get out of the helicopter before you inflate the vest so you don’t get stuck in the helicopter. The vest inflates by pulling a rip cord that triggers an air cartridge.

So I had two of these deluxe life jackets and two standard life vests from our WaveRunner days. Although I’m not sure that they were required by the FAA for the flight, if they aren’t, they should be. After all, most of the flight would be conducted over water and not within gliding distance to land. That means if we had an engine failure, we’d be swimming. And I don’t know about you, but if I crashed a helicopter into a lake, I’d probably need some flotation assistance. Otherwise, I’d probably drown in my tears as I watched my shiny red investment sink.

Not that I planned to go swimming, mind you. But better safe than sorry.

As we climbed aboard the helicopter, the weather was quickly deteriorating to the east. There was a huge cloud of dust near the Navajo Power Generating Station — a cloud that meant dust storm. The wind was coming from that direction, so there was a chance it would be at the airport soon. I still needed to start up, warm up, and take off. Fortunately, the lake looked clear — amazing how localized weather can be out here.

I got the onlookers away from the helicopter and started up. We took off into the wind with the dust storm still at least three miles away. I turned toward the lake, crossed over the new Navajo-owned marina at Antelope Point, and headed toward Padre Bay, where Mike had told me to take them.

First, the Amateurs

Out over the lake, it was sunny. But the sunlight, filtered through a thin layer of clouds, was softer than usual for the desert. Not perfect, but nice enough for photography.

I flew around for a while before one of my passengers started giving me directions of the “go left,” “go right” variety. That soon changed to “Please stop in this place” and “I want what you see on my side.” He meant he wanted me to hover and turn. He didn’t like taking photos from a moving helicopter. So I’d be moving along at about 80 knots to get from one place to the next and he’d say “Please stop in this place,” aparently expecting me to put on the brakes and bring it into an abrupt hover. I got a lot of quickstop practice, as well as practice hovering out of ground effect high over the lake with pedal turns to get the view he wanted on his side of the helicopter. Then, when it was time to start moving again, I’d try to fly slowly so the next stop would be smoother. But he’d tell me to go faster to get to the next place.

Lake Powell Map
The area of Lake Powell where we flew. Click here for the full-sized map in PDF format (2.9 MB).

The other passengers didn’t make any requests at all. The woman beside me had a video camera and she took pictures of everything — the view, the controls, her face, the guys behind her, and even her feet. The passenger behind me was the one with good English skills and he’d translate for his companions when needed. He just took photos out his side and occasionally out the side his companion was shooting on. They were both using digital cameras with long lenses and I often had to move far away from a scene so they could shoot it.

Lake PowellWe flew over some of the most spectacular scenery I’ve ever flown over. The lake level is relatively low, but the water is still finding its way into narrow canyons that twist and turn into the sandstone. The rock formations were magnificent; the reddish colors looked incredible against the blue of the water and the partly cloudy sky. It was a bit hazy, making the mountains of Utah look more distant than they really were. But Navajo Mountain was a clearly defined bulk nearby, with snow on the ground among the trees on its north side.

We went quite far uplake, passing Dangling Rope Marina, which is only accessible by boat. I had a map of that area of the lake with me and I consulted it. Sure enough, Rainbow Bridge was nearby. I asked them if they wanted to see it and they didn’t know what it was. I tried to explain, then just took them. They were suitably impressed. The light was shining just right on it and there were no people down there to bother with the noise we made during our short visit.

In fact, the lake was pretty much empty. The high season hasn’t started yet and, on a Thursday, there weren’t many boaters around. We did see a few houseboats already camped for the night, as well as a bunch of campers with tents and powerboats. I’m a bit envious of the people with boats — although I could see much more than they could and explore more of the lake in less time, I couldn’t land, get out, and explore on foot. Boaters have that option.

We went as far upriver as Hole in the Rock, passing the confluence of the San Juan River along the way. Then it was too boring (for them, not me!) and they wanted to go back to where we’d first started shooting photos, in Padre Bay. Finally, they were finished and we headed back to the airport. The dust storm was long gone and, although it looked cloudy to the south and the skies there threatened rain, the weather at the airport was not an issue at all. We landed with 1.7 more hours on the Hobbs.

Next, the Professionals

I took on another 25 gallons of fuel and swapped passengers. Now I was flying the more serious photographers, Mike and his friend Igor. Unfortunately, the sun had slipped below some even thicker clouds and the light was softer than before. It wasn’t bad at the beginning of the flight, but the longer we flew, the worse the light got. It wasn’t late — only about 4:30 PM MST and at least two hours before sunset — but the clouds were ruining the show. I could tell Mike was very disappointed, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Mike was satisfied to simply fly slowly around the area, pausing now and then to manueuver the helicopter so he could take a shot. He and Igor were using professional camera equipment — digital, of course — and Mike spent a lot of time checking each photo in a shaded preview screen before taking his next shot. We covered Padre Bay and headed upriver. Since were were so close to Rainbow Bridge at one point, I took them to see it, but the light was bad by then and the shots wouldn’t have come out very well. They satisfied themselves taking pictures of the slot canyons and the swirls the rocks and water made when viewed from above. Really dramatic stuff. I wished I could shoot photos, too, but both hands and feet were kept quite busy.

Mike and Igor were a funny team. Mike, sitting next to me, would ask Igor a question like, “What do you think, Igor? Where do you want to go?” And Igor just wouldn’t reply. Not at all. Like he hadn’t heard him. At one point, I said, “Igor? Can you hear us?” And he pushed his talk button (I had the voice-activated feature turned off because of the wind in the microphones) and told us he could. But the next time Mike asked a question, it would go unanswered. It was driving Mike nuts and making it difficult for me not to laugh.

Done for the Day

After 1.4 hours, we landed back at the airport. By then, the light was terrible. It was nearly 6 PM and the FBO was scheduled to close. I needed to top off both tanks and retrieve my doors, then make some kind of arrangement for transporation to town, where I planned to spend the night. (I had enough light to get to Grand Canyon or Williams before dark, but the clouds looked thick to the south and I didn’t want to have to turn back. There’s nowhere else to go out there. I didn’t think that dropping in on a Navajo family living 40 miles from pavement would be a good idea.)

Mike and I settled up the bill with his charge card. Although he looked disappointed, he told me that it had been good. I wish it had been better. He spent a lot of money — he had to pay for my round trip ferry costs, too — and if he didn’t get the kind of photos he wanted, it was money down the drain.

Fortunately, the lone FBO guy took pity on me and gave me the keys to the courtesy van for my overnight stay. I had to be back at the airport at 5:30 AM for a 6:00 AM departure to Lake Havasu City.

But that’s another story.

More Plagiarism in the News

Now this is plagiarism!

The Dan Brown plagiarism case is now history. He won — I thought he should in that particular case — and the plaintiffs will be using all their future royalties to pay legal fees.

But now there’s a new case in the news. I just read about it on Slate in an article by Jack Shafer titled “Why Plagiarists Do It.” Mr. Shafer’s article was written in response to news that 19-year-old Harvard student Kaavya Viswanathan (don’t ask me to prounouce that), who had gotten a $500,000 two-book contract while still in high school, had completed her first novel — with a little help from another author. It appears that Miss Viswanathan borrowed at least 29 bits and pieces from two similar novels by Megan F. McCafferty. Although she claimed it was accidental, Mr. Shafer sums up his opinion (and mine) on that as follows:

Please! Pinching one or two phrases from another book in the course of writing a 320-page novel might be accidental. But by the time a novelist does it 29 times, the effort is transparently intentional and conscious. Unless, of course, Viswanathan composed her entire novel during Ambien-induced sleep-writing episodes.

(It’s wit like that that keeps me coming back to Slate again and again.)

I read articles in the Harvard Crimson and the New York Times that provide plenty of examples of the borrowed phrases. This is a pretty clear-cut example of plagiarism — 29 instances of it. In fact, if this isn’t plagiarism, I don’t know what is.

Interestingly, Mr. Shafer’s article lists a bunch of reasons why someone might become a plagairist. None of them are flattering.

But I think that what pisses me off the most about this is that this kid got a half million bucks in advance money to write two novels and she rewards her publisher and editor and agent by stealing passages out of other books — books that probably didn’t earn a tenth of that.

I think it goes without saying that she should be ashamed of herself. Unfortunately, she probably isn’t.

I hope she loses her movie deal.