The Grand Canyon

Duh.

I’ve spent more time at the Grand Canyon than most people I know. Not only did I work there, flying helicopters over for an entire summer, but it’s less than 40 miles from my place at Howard Mesa. We occasionally go up there — sometimes just for lunch.

The Grand CanyonPhotos of the Grand Canyon do not do it justice. The place is magnificent. The view from every lookout point, from every spot along the trail, is different. Best of all, it can be enjoyed by everyone in whatever dose you’d like to take. Drive up to a spot on the rim for a look. Take a hike all the way to the bottom. Fly over in a helicopter or airplane. Take a raft down the Colorado River.

Reminds me of a story I heard at the grocery store in Tusayan when I worked at the canyon. It was after work and I was picking up a few things to take home. They had some calendars of the Canyon at the checkout counter, a kind of of impulse buy item. The cashier told me that a tourist from Europe was paging through the calendar and suddenly exclaimed, “There’s a river in there?”

Uh, yeah.

If you’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, go. Plan your trip to arrive before sunset and watch the sun set from one of the lookout points. Get a room at a hotel along the rim. Have dinner at El Tovar. Then, when it gets dark, walk on the path along the rim. (Don’t worry; there’s a wall there so you won’t fall in.) If there’s no moon, you’ll experience the odd feeling of walking beside a dark abyss. If there’s a full moon, you’ll see a monochromatic version of what you can see during the day. In the morning, wake before sunrise and watch the sun rise from a different view point. Or the same one. Be sure to take in the art exhibit at the Kolb Gallery and either hike along the rim trail or take a shuttle bus (or your car, in the winter) to Hermit’s Rest.

Grand Canyon, Arizona, photo

Retouched Photos?

My own foray into retouching photos.

I’ve been rather absorbed by the story of the Reuters news photographer who had modified photos and sold them to Reuters for publication.

N7139L in FlightOne of the things about it that interests me is that I have been accused of cooking up a photo that I didn’t “create” with photoshop. This image of my first helicopter N7139L, is an actual air-to-air photo, taken by my husband, Mike, from a Piper Cub airplane as we flew in formation. (And yes, that’s me sitting in the pilot seat, looking right at the lead aircraft and its photographer.) The photo appeared on a lot of my advertising materials, including my business card. Yet when I showed it to my aunt in New Jersey, she refused to believe that it was real. She thought the helicopter had been parked on the ground for the photo and that we’d superimposed it over a background photo taken from the air.

I admit that her refusal to believe that I was telling the truth about the photo rattled me. After all, if your family can’t believe you, who can?

Later, however, I admit to cooking up a photo of N630ML before it was built. I didn’t do the cooking, actually. My buddy Bert Monroy, Photoshop expert extraordinaire, did it for me.

N45PG in FlightI gave him this first shot of my friend Tristan flying his helicopter near Vulture Peak. I’d leased Tristan’s helicopter for a season to see if a bigger helicopter would help my business. (It did.) Tristan and I flew in formation in the area while Mike took photos. That’s Tristan in the pilot seat.

N630ML - NOT!I told Bert that I needed a photo of my helicopter to start putting together marketing materials. I asked him if he could make a plain red helicopter, without stripes, and change the N-number to the one I’d have on my helicopter, N630ML. Bert delivered this photo via e-mail within hours. It was easy for him — a straight color change job. I probably could have done it if I knew how. But I didn’t. And yes, that’s still Tristan flying. This photo appeared on slides at the local theater and on my Web site.

N630ML in FlightLater, I flew in formation with my friend Jim and Mike took this photo of the real thing. That’s me in the pilot seat again.

Of these four photos, the only fake is the third one down, with Tristan’s helicopter painted red. Software like Photoshop makes this really easy to do (if you know how).

Be sure to check out my links for today (published at midnight) for more online information regarding the recent retouching of photos in the news.

Searching for Myself

I’m finding myself in the most unexpected places.

I’ve been having a tiny bit of trouble with this Web site lately — it appears that folks are accessing the printable version of these pages more often than the blog version. That got me thinking that Google, which accounts for about 60% of my total hits, was listing the printable version of this site’s pages in its search results.

So to test this theory, I Googled myself.

I didn’t find confirmation of the problem, but I did find this page on the Bookpool Web site: Bookpool: Maria Langer. It lists my Top 10 favorite computer books. I vaguely remember writing something about my top 10 books a while back. It must have been a long while back because none of the books on the list are very recent.

I also discovered electronic versions of my Quicken books online: Maria Langer eBooks. Hope I’m getting royalties for those.

And I’m even in Wikipedia, but just as a stub. I removed an outdated link there.

I guess AllExperts on About.com has no qualms about stealing info from Wikipedia, because the same exact entry is on their page for me.

And there’s a really old picture and bunch of info about me on Ilene Hoffman’s site. (Anyone know if Ilene is still around?)

And, of course, there are a bunch of links to shop for me. Take that any way you like. One even promises “Instant access to Maria Langer and more.” I wouldn’t bother clicking that link if I were you. Trust me: it won’t work.

Strange, the places I turn up.

Of course, this isn’t helping me solve the problem I turned to Google to solve. Back to work!

A Commercial

Maria Speaks Episode 29: A Commercial.

This is my first attempt to create a podcast with GarageBand. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

It’€™s a ‘€œcommercial’€ for Flying M Air’s Southwest Circle Helicopter Adventure. Short, with lots of pictures. A decent example of how a podcast can be created with Garageband on a Mac.

This is my first attempt to create a podcast with GarageBand. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

It’s a “commercial” for Flying M Air’s Southwest Circle Helicopter Adventure. Short, with lots of pictures. A decent example of how a podcast can be created with Garageband on a Mac.

A transcript can be found on the Southwest Circle Helicopter Adventure page of Flying M Air’s Web site.

Use the Comments link here to enter your comments about this podcast.

I’ll probably whip up a how-to article that explains how I did this. Apple’s documentation is pretty crummy. (I guess that’s why I can make a living writing books about Apple software.)

Formulas for Success

Forwarded in an e-Mail from a friend…

I get a lot of stuff forwarded to me in e-mail from friends. (Too much, I think.) But I only repeat the best of it here.

My thanks to whoever came up with this. Let me know who you are and I will credit you here.

This equation should be taught in all math classes!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help yo u answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O- W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!

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