Flying Cheaper from Wickenburg

People will take the long drive to save a few bucks.

For the fourth time this summer, a Flying M Air customer has opted to drive from the Phoenix area up to Wickenburg just to take a helicopter flight with me. That’s over an hour of drive time each way.

You’d think I might be flattered, but I’m not. They’ve all done it for practical reasons, namely, to save money.

It’s Cheaper from Wickenburg

Downtown PhoenixMy tours out of the Phoenix area — including Scottsdale, Deer Valley, and Glendale — start at $795 for up to three people. That’s not per person; it’s per flight. (It costs the same for me to fly no matter how many I have on board, so why screw around with complex per-person pricing and minimum passenger numbers?) That price will get you a great 50-60 minute tour of the entire Phoenix area, including a flight right down Central Avenue at building rooftop level.

The Phoenix tour is a relatively popular tour in the winter months, when Phoenix and Scottsdale attract visitors who aren’t trying to cash in on low summertime hotel rates. But in the summer, most of my business — including tours out of Phoenix — dries up. I’m glad because I really do hate flying when it’s 100+° outside and the thermals over the desert are putting invisible potholes in my path. (This is my last summer in Wickenburg, folks.)

N630ML in FlightBut since I’m based in Wickenburg and I don’t have to fly anywhere to do a tour from Wickenburg, my prices out of Wickenburg are considerably lower. For example, I can do a 25-minute tour of the area for only $195 for up to three people. (Sign up soon; the price is jumping to $225 when the 2007/2008 season starts in October.) I offer short tours like that in Wickenburg in an effort to provide a service that locals can afford. But apparently the folks who find my brochures down in Phoenix — and there seem to be an awful lot of them — are willing to trek up here in their rental cars to take the shorter tour.

Making the Long Drive More Pleasant

While I appreciate their business and am glad to save them money, I feel a little bad that I’ve let them make the long drive, especially in the summer. Wickenburg is operating at half speed in the summertime, with fewer people around and many businesses closed for the summer. I don’t want them to drive all the way up here just for me. I want them to get a little taste of Wickenburg before making the long drive back.

I also want them to make a pleasant drive. So I start off by giving them directions from Phoenix. I tell them not to follow Google Maps or MapQuest driving directions. Those driving directions take them up Grand Avenue (Route 60) from its intersection with either Loop 101 in Glendale or I-17 in Phoenix. Grand Avenue seems to have a traffic light every 500 feet. The drive up here following those directions would easily take 2 frustrating hours.

N630MLInstead, if they’re anywhere near I-17 or Loop 101, I send them to I-17 north and tell them to get off on Carefree Highway (Route 74). Head west for about 35 miles on a traffic light free, two-lane road that goes past Lake Pleasant and through some beautiful and still pristine Sonoran desert landscape. Lake Pleasant’s overlook makes a nice stop on the way or on the way back, I tell them. At the end of Route 74, make a right on Grand Avenue and drive 10 more miles to Wickenburg. Go through three traffic lights. About 2 miles past the third traffic light is the airport, on the right. I’ll be waiting by the red helicopter, I add.

Questions from the Visitors

When they arrive, I usually get questions. The one I get most often is, “What do people all the way out here do for a living?”

I tell them that most folks are retired. I also mention the treatment facilities and guest ranches in town, which are year-round and seasonal employers. I then tell them that my husband drives 72 miles each way to get to work in Phoenix every day.

“Why do you live up here?” they counter.

I tell them that when we moved to Wickenburg ten years ago, it was a nice little town where everyone knew everyone else. There was lots of open space and many people had horses. It really appealed to us after living so long in the New York metro area.

Some of them catch my use of past tense. “Was? What about now?”

“Things change,” I tell them. “They tell me you can’t stop progress.”

Making the Long Drive Worth It

Then I give them my safety briefing and walk them out to the helicopter. My door is off to keep the air flowing into the cockpit — the vents just don’t cut it when the Arizona sun is blazing down on a summer day. I strap them in and show them how to use the doors. Then I climb in and start up. We leave their doors open until the helicopter is warmed up and ready to go. Then I watch them shut them and test each one to make sure it’s really closed.

Downtown WickenburgWe go for a flight around the area and I point out the three main guest ranches (which are closed for the summer), Vulture Mine (which is closed for the summer), Downtown Wickenburg, the Hassayampa River Preserve (which has limited hours in the summer), the river (which may or may not be flowing; usually not), and Box Canyon. If it’s a weekend, they’re usually thrilled to see people driving quads and trucks down in the narrow slot canyon where the water always flows. They’re always impressed by some of the larger homes on the south and northeast sides of town, especially the one with the heliport and the big yellow house that looks so unusual here. We sometimes see cows from the air, but seldom see anyone on horseback. It’s just too darn hot in the summer.

We land at the airport and they’re happy. My passengers are always happy. I think that’s the most rewarding part of being a helicopter pilot — having happy passengers at the end of every flight.

Taking Care of Business

We go into the terminal’s air conditioned comfort to cool off and settle up the bill. I pull out the brochure for the Desert Caballeros Western Museum and urge them to visit if they have time. “It doesn’t look like much from the street,” I warn them, “But it’s incredible inside. Two floors of exhibits and western art.”

If it’s near lunchtime, I recommend some local restaurants, usually Screamers for a great burger or Anita’s for vast quantities of American-style Mexican food at good prices. If it’s dinner time, I recommend House Berlin, our local German restaurant. Henry Wickenburg was German, I tell them. (A white lie; he was actually Prussian but Germany didn’t exist back then.)

Then I watch them leave. I cool off for another ten minutes or so, chattering with whoever is on duty at the airport terminal to pass the time, trying not to make a nuisance of myself. Then I go back out and put the helicopter away in its hangar.

The Older Generation

Not happy unless there’s something or someone they can complain about.

And I’m probably showing how I’m entering that older generation now.

What Do They Think?

My recent rant about people who can’t read brought a member of the older generation out of the woodwork to comment on the post. He/She apparently took offense at my request that people follow my instructions and not bother me for information about Wickenburg.

Apparently, this person thinks I should devote my life to maintaining my Web sites and serving the people who find and read them. I seriously doubt whether this person has used the Donation link to help support the site, which takes time and money to run. Instead he/she wants my services for free. And damn me if I don’t want to give it out!

I’ve seen this over and over at wickenburg-az.com. People can’t take the site for what it is: a many-authored blog related to the town and life in Wickenburg. They seem to think that it’s some kind of service that should do nothing but write glowing articles about the town and its surroundings, to paint a rosy picture of the retiree heaven they want it to be. A service run by someone who’ll drop everything — including work she does to make living — to get them the information they seek.

I don’t know where the hell they got that idea. I guess it’s because they can’t/won’t read.

This Ain’t the First Time

In my recent rant, I didn’t list the e-mails and nasty comments I’ve gotten from this group of senior whiners. Frankly, I didn’t think it was worth giving it attention. But since this recent whiner has joined the pack, I figured I’d take a moment to whine back.

Why is it that these people can never find something to be happy about? Why is it that they take offense so easily when something they know so little about is revealed to be a little less perfect than they thought? And why, oh why, is their attitude always “I don’t agree with you so I’m going to stop reading what you write and I’m going to tell you about it because I want to hurt your feelings.”

(Mommy! The mean man doesn’t like me! Waaaaa!)

A person with some guts or brains might attempt to start a reasonable debate on why I’m wrong or why I should look at things their way. A person who truly cared about the town might volunteer to join its content creators and write the articles they think belonged on the site to get their point of view out there.

But all that would take effort. It’s so much easier to say something they think is mean and walk away. (Heaven knows, their time is so limited now that they’re retired.)

Well, as my mother would say, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

Goofing Off on a Summer Sunday

Getting hot, tired, and stinky.

The original plan, when I left the house with Jack the Dog this morning, was to go to the airport and wash the helicopter before it got too hot out.

Immediately Sidetracked

It was about 8 AM when I left the house. I stopped off at the supermarket to buy a case of bottled water for the hangar. I store the water in the fridge and bring it on trips for my passengers. I bought Arrowhead because it’s spring water (not from a “municipal source”) and tastes pretty good to me.

At the airport, I swung past the high rent district. That’s our pet name for the newer hangars on the northeast end of the developed area. (Our hangar is in the originally, low-rent district.) I was pleasantly surprised to find quite a few people out: Ivan and Shelley, Dave and his friend (who turned out to be my accountant’s son), and Ray and his mechanic.

Dave is renting space for his Hughes 500C in John’s big hangar while John has his Commander in Colorado, where he’s smart (and rich) enough to live in the summer time. I pulled up alongside the open hangar door.

“Going out?” I asked.

“Yeah. I haven’t flown in a month. I got get the dust off it first.”

“Where are you heading?”

“Well, there’s a narrow canyon with a creek in it up around Hillside. I think there’s a place to land down in there. You want to come?”

I did and told him so. But then Jack and I went to chat with Ivan while Dave dusted his helicopter. And I started thinking that I really should just wash the helicopter.

Meanwhile, Dave and his friend pushed the helicopter out and we closing the hangar door. “Is Ray going, too?” I asked.

Dave told me he might, but not right away. He had some things to iron out with his mechanic. And they were thinking of going to the Weaver cabins instead. The raspberries should be ready for picking.

I told him that I might meet them there. Then Jack and I got back into the Jeep and headed to our hangar where my dusty helicopter waited.

Heli Outings, the Wickenburg Way

I should mention something here. When we go on helicopter outings, we each take our own helicopter. Even though we each have four seats and we seldom have more than one companion, we still all climb into separate aircraft. It’s worse when there’s only one of us in each helicopter.

Dave tells a story about when he, Ray, and Jim explored a plane crash site out in the desert, “Yeah, we burned 90 gallons an hour to get three guys out there.”

In our hangar, I had to make a decision. Go or not go? And if I go, what do I do with Jack the Dog?

I decided to go and to bring Jack the Dog with me. After all, he’d earned his wings over a year before and had flown twice in the helicopter.

I loaded up my little cooler with three bottles of water and an ice pack from the fridge. Then I got Jack’s harness and the saddle blanket we use to protect the back seats when he’s in there. He trotted alongside the golf cart as I wheeled the helicopter out to the fuel pumps.

Meanwhile, Dave had started up his helicopter and hover-taxied to the fuel island. He was shutting down as we approached. The fuel guy came out as I was removing the wheels and I told him to top off both tanks. I had a flight to Meteor Crater at 6 AM the next day and I didn’t want to worry about fueling in the dark.

While he fueled, I tried to put the harness on Jack, got it on sideways, and spread the blanket on the back seats. I patted the seat and he jumped in. Then I fastened his harness to the seatbelt. It was the first time I was flying with Jack without another human on board and I didn’t want him getting excited and jumping into the front seat area. Especially since my door was off.

Ray had pulled his helicopter out of his hangar on its dolly and left it parked on the other end of the ramp. As I started up, he fired his up, too. And Dave started up.

A typical summer Sunday afternoon at Wickenburg’s otherwise dead airport: three helicopters starting up on the ramp.

The Weaver Cabins

Dave made a radio call and took off to the north. Ray hovered over to the taxiway without making a radio call. I didn’t know what he was up to.

“You going, Ray?” I asked.

“No, you go on,” he said. I realized he was still working on things with his mechanic.

I made my call and took off after Dave. Of course, I’d lost sight of him. He had a two minute head start and was flying a dark colored helicopter. I knew he’d be flying low — he and Ray always do — so I figured I’d just stay high. I was approaching Round Mountain near Box Canyon when I tuned into the air-to-air frequency we’d chosen.

“Dave, you up?”

“Yeah. Can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” I relied. “Where are you?”

He told me he was just flying over Ray’s gravel pit, which was out to my left. I couldn’t see him, but I stayed high.

I caught sight of him a few minutes later. “I got you,” I said. “I’ll pull in behind you.”

A few weeks ago, there was a midair collision in Phoenix with two news helicopters crashing into a park. All four people in the two aircraft died. Local helicopter pilots are still pretty shook up over this. I wasn’t flying with anyone unless I could see him.

I dropped down to Dave’s altitude, which was only a few hundred feet off the desert floor. I saw a lot of cows. In the back, Jack was standing up, leaning against the back wall behind the seats. Putting dog hair on the fabric there, I knew.

Dave overflew the ghost town of Octave and then started climbing up the canyon beyond it. I followed. We had a 2,500 foot elevation gain ahead of us to cross over the mountains. Dave took it close to the ground, following the earth up. I flew more conservatively, climbing to maintain a reasonable elevation over the terrain. At one point, my climb rate was 1,000 feet per minute. I realized I was catching up with Dave and reduced power.

Over the mountain, Dave did a pushover into the valley. I can’t do pushovers in my helicopter. Well, not aggressive ones, anyway. No low-G operations permitted. So I dumped the collective and glided down behind him.

Now I’ve been to the cabins about a half dozen times and I’ve always landed in the same spot — a flat spot on the arm of a mountain about 1/10 mile from the cabins. The last time I was there, I set up a line of white rock to mark the spot. But it was also in my GPS. Dave headed toward my spot, then looked as if he was going to land a bit to the east of it. So I moved toward my spot. That’s when Dave realized he had the wrong landing zone and I realized that my landing zone and Dave’s were the same. So I turned 90° and landed on the very edge of my spot, right beside some cacti and bushes where the arm of the mountain drops off. He found a flat spot about 75 feet behind me.

Weaver CabinsA while later, we were down in a canyon beside a spring-fed creek. Flies were biting. We checked out the condition of the larger cabin, then examined the raspberry bushes. We were at least two weeks too late.

It was cool and pleasant in the shade, despite the bugs. I wished I worn long, lightweight pants and hiking shoes. At least I had water.

Jack was having a ball, running around and checking everything out.

Helicopter OutingWe heard an approaching helicopter, then saw Ray circling above the trees. We walked out where he could see us. Although he normally lands in a clearing on the other side of the creek, he found a spot near us. We were back by the helicopters when he shut down. I snapped this photo with my Treo for my TumbleLog. That’s Ray’s Hughes 500D on the right and Daves Hughes 500C on the left with my big fat tail (take it anyway you want) in the foreground.

Ray had two passengers with him and he took them down to see the cabins. He told us that there was a fig tree in a clearing upstream. Figs, of course, are in season right now and everyone loves fresh figs. I still don’t know if he was bullshitting us, but we never found the fig tree and he wouldn’t walk upstream to show us where it was.

On to the Canyon

Dave decided to continue on to his first destination, which was the canyon up near Hillside. One by one, we started off and took off. Ray went first — he wanted to be off the ground before I brought my RPM up to 100% and blew dust into his cockpit. (Both guys fly with all doors off most of the year; I only had one door off because I’ve been flying passengers lately.) Then I went. Then Dave. Ray disappeared quickly. I followed Dave over another mountain and northwest toward Hillside.

I watched Dave fly from my perch about 200 feet above him and 1/4 mile back. He flew close to the ground, following the earth. He’d climb over a small hill and drop down on the other side. I either flew around the little hills or glided over them. I lost him when he reached the boulders west of Hillside, then picked him up again when he climbed into sight for me.

Then he was turning, following a canyon, dropping down even lower.

“Yeah, there isn’t enough room for both of us there,” Dave said into the radio. I looked down and saw Ray parked alongside a stream in the bottom of the canyon.

“Jeez, Ray, there’s barely enough room down there for one.”

“Oh, it’s not that tight,” he told me.

Dave turned and went back downstream. I lost sight of him for a moment, then saw him on a sandbar about 1/4 mile downstream from Ray.

“There’s another sandbar right in front of me,” he told me. “I think there’s room for you.”

But in all honesty the location didn’t seem very appealing to me. It was in full sun and there wasn’t much water flowing. I was wearing Keds, which don’t make very good hiking shoes. And although those guys have more rotor blades than I do, mine are almost twice as long. I needed a good, big spot. I probably could have found one, but I didn’t think it was worth the effort.

Besides, I’d gone to the airport to wash my helicopter and I still had some work waiting for me back in my office.

“I think I’ll just head back,” I told him.

“Are you sure?” Dave asked.

“Yeah. I got work to do. Have fun. Fly safe.”

Ray was still on the radio. “Dave, you on the ground?”

But Dave had either turned off his radio or, more likely, the signal was blocked in the rocky canyon. “He’s on the ground,” I reported. “About a quarter mile downstream. I’ll see you guys later.”

I climbed out and punched Wickenburg Airport into my GPS. I was close to the plane crash site Ray had shown me months ago, but I didn’t overfly it. Instead, I made a beeline back to Wickenburg, by way of Congress. It was a 41 NM flight. I made it in under 30 minutes and set down at the fuel island for more fuel. I’d flown 0.9 hours.

Down to Business

Of course, by that point I was hot and tired. Too tired to wash the helicopter. But I had to get that job done. It was dirty — I’d flown in the rain a few weeks ago and it had gotten badly dusted up at the cabins hours before. My passengers the next day were paying $1,200 for a flight to Meteor Crater and Winslow, AZ (made famous in that Eagle’s song). For that kind of money, they should fly in a clean helicopter.

So I put the helicopter away in the hangar, hopped into the Jeep with Jack the Dog, and drove back to the supermarket. I bought a sandwich, iced tea, and a tapioca pudding and drove back to the airport. I connected my iPod to my boom box, and listened to the last four Grammar Girl podcasts while I ate. Then I tuned in the Future Tense podcast playlist I’d created, rolled the helicopter out, and got down to work.

I hate washing the helicopter on a hot day. The challenge is keeping the water from drying on it before I get a chance to dry it with a towel. My post about washing the helicopter explains the process, so I won’t explain it again here. I will say, however, that I got so hot that I had to hose myself off. Twice. I must have sweat out everything I drank that day.

I put the helicopter back into the hangar and dried it. Then I did some paperwork. Jack hung out under my desk in the back of the hangar. It was too hot, even for him to chase lizards.

Now I’m back in my cool house with a nice cold egg cream in my belly. I’ll shower, put on clean clothes, and get down to the real work.

Chapter 23 awaits completion.

Heli Camping

How to make camping more fun.

It was spring 2006 when my friend Ryan suggested I go with him to the Big Sandy Shoot and give helicopter rides. I didn’t know much about it, but I had nothing else do to that weekend. So I loaded my tent, sleeping bag, and air mattress into my helicopter and followed Ryan’s friend’s Sikorsky S-55 helicopter to the tiny town of Wikieup, about 40 minutes north of Wickenburg on highway 93.

I detail the events of the weekend here.

Helicopter and TentAlthough I did fly into this spot and I did sleep in this tent the night before, I didn’t sleep in this tent where it’s shown in the photo. I moved the tent to take the photo. With a dome tent like this, it’s easy. Just empty it out, pick it up, and put it where you want it. The helicopter was in such a pretty spot and the early morning sunlight make it look really beautiful. Why not take advantage of the light?

I cooked up the photo for possible advertising use. Flying M Air (my helicopter charter company) can do overnight excursions. There’s no reason why we can’t offer heli camping.

But, so far, we just haven’t had any calls for it.

Oh, and for the record, I’ll be back at Wickieup for their autumn (forgive me, Miraz) shoot in October. Anyone want to come along for the ride?

What’s In a Name?

Apparently, a lot.

I’ve been thinking it over for about six months now and have finally made a decision: I need a real name for my Web site/blog.

Maria Langer, The Official Web Site* and WebLog** is not cutting it, primarily because no one follows the asterisks to the footnotes in the footer, which say:

* Read with tongue planted firmly in cheek. (In other words, it’s a joke, folks. No, I’m not so full of myself that I think there are unofficial Maria Langer Web sites.)

** Don’t believe everything you read. (That’s my disclaimer, in case you find something inaccurate. It’s also for the folks who like to say that I’m making claims that aren’t true. Maybe I know that. Now my readers do, too.)

I think the name of my site is turning off people who don’t get it. And I don’t want them to get turned off by a name. I’d rather they get turned on or off by content.

Unfortunately, my imagination is completely tapped out and I can’t come up with any fresh, new, witty names for my site. This is what has taken me so long to make the name change decision. Obviously, if I already had a great new name, I’d just start using it.

Whatever name I do come up with must reflect the fact that the site is a mix of content, with everything from first person accounts of the things that go on in my life to illustrated how-to articles about using your computer or software. Visitors use Macs and Windows, so to include either operating system in the name just wouldn’t be right. Ditto for references to flying or Wickenburg or writing or any one specific topic I cover here. I need a name that’s more general.

I’ve got some ideas that might work, but I’d be interested in getting suggestions from the folks who have been following the site for a while. Use the Comments link or form or Contact Me with your suggestions.

I’d appreciate the help.