Tag Archives: friends

Constant Complaining Is a Total Turn-Off

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I befriend a temporary neighbor only to discover that I really don’t want to be her friend.

I’m stuck in a Kingman, AZ trailer park, waiting for repairs to the suspension on my truck. I’ve been here since Saturday and, with luck, my truck will be done before the end of business today, five days later. Sunday and New Year’s Day really screwed up the work schedule.

When I arrived I took my pups for a walk in a neighboring empty lot. Along the way, my next door neighbor came out and gave me her card. She seemed friendly. Inside her trailer, her dogs were barking and I was on my way to get my pups some relief so we didn’t have time to chat.

Yesterday, while I was hooking up the sewer hose to dump my camper’s tanks, she came out to chat. I was my usual talk-to-strangers self, giving her advice on how to connect her sewer pipe so it would drain properly. (She had it set up with the hose making a roller coaster of ups and downs which is probably the worst way to set it up.) She thanked me profusely but then started in on a litany of personal problems which included a restraining order on her ex, a truck she was making payments on but couldn’t drive because of some health issue, more health issues, medication issues, family issues, drug problems, alcohol problems, the handyman who ripped her off, the Facebook Marketplace buyer who tried to come after dark, the neighbor who teases her dogs, the 11 dead relatives in one year — the list went on and on, spewing out in a one-sided conversation while I stood there politely, holding an RV sewer hose in one hand, totally unable to get a word in other than stunned acknowledgement, and wishing she’d shut up so I could finish my task and go back inside. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that she was crazy or very near to it. Her telling me that everyone in the trailer park thought she was crazy kind of confirmed it.

Numb feet (?) was the health problem that finally got her to leave me alone and go back into her camper. I took care of my sewer hose and I took a few minutes to fix the roller coaster in hers since it was right beside mine. (It should work a lot better now.) Her dogs barked through the thin camper walls most of the time. Then I went back inside my camper, leaving the outer door open for fresh air.

She was back a few hours later, waiting near my door for the Walmart delivery person to bring her groceries. She wanted to see my pups so I showed her, opening the door so they could go out and get petted. She oohed and aahed. They didn’t stick around with her, though. Maybe they knew she was crazy, too. They ran back into the camper and I — well, I never came out.

Her dogs, by the way, are rescues, each of which are large — a Great Dane and a German Shepherd, I think — and have serious behavioral problems. It’s great that someone would literally rescue dogs that are going to be put down otherwise, but maybe someone with so many of her own problems should get a smaller, calmer companion pet?

The grocery delivery arrived and I thought I was spared. But she was back a few minutes later. It was New Year’s Eve and she’d gotten it into her head that I’d come over and drink with her. But only two drinks for her, she told me. That’s all she was allowed.

It would be zero drinks for me. There was no way I was going to go into her trailer with the giant dogs formerly on death row and listen to more of her problems while she got drunk. It was mid-afternoon and I told her I was going to take a nap. When she left, I closed my outer door.

I don’t know if she got the message (not likely) or just forgot about me because she didn’t return. I spent most of the day indoors today, writing. I didn’t want to run into her and it’s not as if I could drive somewhere with my truck in pieces at the Ford dealer.

I just want to assure readers here that I’m not making this up. It’s all true. The trailer park I’m in is funky, but it’s safe and relatively clean and certainly cheap enough. (Heck, I’m paying enough for the truck repair!) No one has bothered me. One neighbor came by with a big wrench to get the sewer cap off for me. And when dogs belonging to folks on the other side of me left three dog turds right outside my door, they cleaned it up as soon as I politely asked them to. (And no more since.)

Anyway, there is a point to this story and it’s this:

Everyone has their own problems and most folks don’t want to hear about yours. Yes, it’s okay to make one or two complaints. A sore back, an annoying neighbor. But stop right there. If all you can do is run off at the mouth about all the woes in your life, you’re not going to make any friends.

I feel sorry for her and I don’t think there’s really anything funny about her situation — despite how I might have written it up here. But I’m not going to sacrifice my own mental health and well being to give her companionship. I just don’t want to hear any more of her complaints.

And I honestly don’t see any reason why anyone should — other than maybe a professional therapist.

Where am I?

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I’m off on another, shorter adventure, but I’ll be back to working on projects at home again soon.

I started writing a blog post two weeks ago about my third trip to the Ranger Tugs/Cutwater Rendezvous at Roche Harbor. I had to put it aside because I got busy doing other things, as I seem to do quite often these days. It’s sitting in the app I use to compose and publish my blog posts. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get to it later today. (Note: I finished it this morning after this post. I’m just waiting for someone to turn on their StarLink so I can post them both. Two posts in one day!)

What’s keeping me busy right now is cruising around the San Juan Islands and beyond. After the Rendezvous and a quick trip home to drop off my boat trailer, I returned to my boat, Do It Now, which was waiting for me at Anacortes. I provisioned up and fueled up and headed back out.

You see, my boat does not actually have a “home port” — a place where it lives when I’m not on it. It’s a wanderer, like I’ve become. So unless I wanted to pay a marina $50 to $100 per night for it to sit idle in the water, I needed to take it cruising. That’s what I did.

Where I’ve Been

I explored the San Juan Islands for more than a week, picking up friends for day trips along the way. I visited:

  • Dungeness Crabs
    I caught Dungeness crabs at Roche Harbor and Suchia Island. These are from Suchia.

    San Juan Island. That’s where the Rendezvous was held. I stayed at the wonderful Roche Harbor Resort, which I believe is one of the best-run marinas I’ve ever visited.

  • Stuart Island. I took my friend Liz and her dog Suki to Stuart from San Juan Island where she lives. We squeezed onto the dock in Reid Harbor, where I ran into other Ranger Tug owners, including Glen, who has given me tons of advice about my boat. (He has the same model.)
  • Lopez Island. I spent the night tied to a mooring ball at Spencer Spit, getting my first taste of the convenience of Washington State’s marine parks.
  • Fidalgo Island. That’s where Anacortes is. I spent one night there, then offloaded a bunch of stuff off the boat, got a one-way rental car to Des Moines (where my truck and trailer were parked), and went home for a few nights. By that time, my summer house-sitter had moved out, leaving the place remarkably clean, and it was a real pleasure to sleep under my own roof. I left just before my current house-sitter arrived and returned to the boat.
  • Suchia Island. I got a mooring ball in Echo Bay, which quickly filled up with other boats that Friday evening. I caught two Dungeness crabs in a trap I set from my boat’s swim platform.
  • Point Roberts. While not an island, it’s a weird little Washington State community that can only be reached by boat or by driving through Canada. I picked up a friend and his family there for a day trip to…

  • Patos Island
    Do It Now at the mooring ball at Patos Island.

    Patos Island. There was one mooring ball in Active Cove and we grabbed it. We went for a long hike on the island and my dogs got a good chance to run. My friend found a geocache, completing his goal of finding at least one geocache in every Washington State county. (San Juan County was the last.) I also cooked up and shared those Dungeness crabs I’d brought in that morning.

  • Matia Island. I managed to squeeze into the dock with three other boats at Rolfe Cove. Dogs are not allowed on the trails there, so we didn’t do any hiking. But it was a nice quiet place to spend the night.
  • James Island. I took another friend and his wife from Anacortes to James Island for a little day trip. More hiking and running for my pups. A great cheese and fresh bread — thanks, Greg! — lunch at a picnic table before a peek at Deception Pass. We saw dolphins or porpoises along the way. One of these days I’ll learn to identify all the marine life around here.

    James Island
    Looking back down at Do It Now from our hike on James Island.

  • Saddlebag Island. I tried anchoring at Saddlebag Island but didn’t like the conditions so I left.
  • Guemes Island. I also tried anchoring at Boat Harbor anchorage but again, didn’t like the conditions so I left. (This gave me a real appreciation for mooring balls out on the islands.)
  • Cypress Island. I picked up a mooring ball at Cypress Head. I went for a nice hike on the head with my pups and rested up from a busy weekend.

  • Blackberries
    I picked enough blackberries for three breakfasts.

    Orcas Island. I anchored at Eastsound one night and got a slip at Deer Harbor the next night. I really liked Eastsound and need to go back when I have a whole day to explore the town. The highlight of Deer Harbor was the friendly people, the barbecue place, and picking wild blackberries on a walk.

I ended up on September 20 at Bellingham, where I got a slip courtesy of the folks at San Juan Sailing. That’s where I would begin the cruise I’m on now.

I should point out that most of my stops along the way were at marine parks that were either free or just $15 for the night. Cruising in the San Juans is very affordable if you don’t need a marina. Even then, the marinas I stayed at — notably Cap Sante (in Anacortes) and Deer Harbor (at Orcas) — were reasonably priced.

My Current Adventure

On September 21, I set out as part of a flotilla of six boats cruising from Bellingham to Desolation Sound in British Columbia and back. I’m typing this from an anchorage called Melanie Cove off the BC mainland. So far, we’ve been to:

  • South Pender Island. We stayed at the Poet’s Cove Marina in Bedwell Harbor, which is where we checked into Canada. There’s a nice resort there with hot springs and hiking trails.
  • Nanaimo. We stayed at the port there, mostly so we could provision at the supermarket. (Canada limits what you can bring in as far as fresh foods are concerned.) I spent some time visiting shops in town before hitting the supermarket.
  • Hospital Bay. After an unpleasant crossing of the Strait of Georgia, we spent a night at the wonderfully sheltered John Henry’s Marina.
  • Cortes Island. Our longest cruise took us up Malaspina Strait (in dense fog) and then up the Strait of Georgia (in much more favorable conditions) to Gorge Harbor in Whaletown. Along the way, we saw colonies of harbor seals and humpback whales.

    Cruising in the Fog
    Two of the flotilla’s boats, both American Tugs, cruising in the fog.

  • Octopus Islands
    Here we are, rafted at the Octopus Islands. My boat is the smallest one (as usual) but I have no trouble keeping up. (In fact, I’m faster than all of them.)

    Octopus Islands. We anchored and rafted a small bay in the Octopus Islands off Quadra Island. We spent two nights there with a very rainy day between them. Highlights included catching some red rock crabs and visiting the “art cabin,” which was full of boat souvenirs and other artwork.

  • Quadra Island. We spent one night at Taku Resort in Drew Harbor. I’d been there at an anchorage years before with the folks on the David B, but I didn’t remember seeing any marinas. I got some sad news while I was there, which I’ll address in another post, but also bought some provisions and picked some wild blackberries while walking with my dogs and two other boaters.
  • Prideaux Haven. That’s where we are now, at Melanie Cove, anchored and rafted again. We went for a group hike into the mountains yesterday on what became a picture-perfect day.

    Melanie Cove
    I flew my drone to capture a few images of a picture-perfect day at Melanie Cove. Our boats are rafted in the lower right corner of the image.

But we’re not done yet! Destinations lie ahead:

  • Texada Island. We’ll stay at at Sturt Bay.
  • Gabriola Island. We’ll stay at a resort marina at Silva Bay.
  • Saltspring Island. We’ll stay at a marina at Ganges Harbor.
  • Lummi Island. Back in the US, we’ll spend a last night at anchor at Inati Bay.

The trip ends on October 4 at Bellingham, where we started. By that time, I should have a long year of cruising out of my system and be ready for a rest.

And That’s My Excuse

This cruising schedule is my excuse for not blogging as much as I’d really like to. I don’t write as quickly as I used to — I’m so easily distracted these days. (Who isn’t?) I want to spend more of my time enjoying the things I do instead of writing about them.

But I have a lot of writing and video production ahead of me — did I mention that I’ve been recording video footage nearly every cruising day? I’ve decided to spend this winter at home for the first time since moving to Washington — sorry, John*! — and to fill my days catching up on content creation, making new jewelry inventory, and exploring new craft hobbies, including paper making, paper marbling, and bookbinding.

And, of course, prepping Do It Now for another season of cruising in the Pacific Northwest. April is only six months away.

PostScript

I finished this blog post shortly after 5 AM this morning. (I wake up very early.) It was still dark outside so I went up to Do It Now‘s command bridge. One of the great things about these remote anchorages out in the islands is how dark they are. Other than the anchor lights of boats, there are no ground lights to foul the sky. I sat for a few moments, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I saw the bright stars right away; the brightest thing in the sky right now is Jupiter which was almost straight up. Then I saw the dimmer stars and familiar constellations such as Orion. I saw the Milky Way, which I hadn’t seen well in over a month. And I saw satellites and a shooting star.

I love my home, but the nearby glow of Wenatchee makes it unsuitable for serious star gazing. It’s nice to get out and away from all those lights. When I’m done with my boat travels, I’m going to settle down back in the desert, away from city lights, and look up at the stars any time I can.

—
* John is my ever-faithful winter house-sitter who has been watching over my place for most winters since around 2016. He’s at my place now and I don’t think he’s happy about hitting the road in about a week.

Cruising with a Companion (Again)

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I welcome a friend on board as a cruising companion (and more) and am glad I did.

If you’ve been reading my Great Loop blog (which is behind yet again), you know that I spent some time buddy boating with my friend Jason in the big Ocean Yachts boat he lives aboard in Washington DC.

Jason and I met on Mastodon — my replacement for what I now call “The Dead Bird Site” (Twitter) — earlier this year. We have lots of mutual interests and seem to be on the same page about so many things. I think we might have been equally excited to actually meet up in person. We did that in October when I cruised down Chesapeake Bay from the Annapolis area (where I picked up my boat after its summer vacation) and he took his boat down to the mouth of the Potomac River. We cruised back up the river together, in our separate boats, with many stops along the way. It was a great week of getting to know each other, as was the subsequent days I spent at the marina where he lives.

Rafting
My boat (the red one) rafted to Jason’s boat at an anchorage during our Potomac River cruise. If he does start cruising full time, he’d likely downsize. His boat is very comfortable, but its size makes it impractical for a cruising lifestyle.

It seemed like a good idea for him to try joining me for a while on my much smaller boat while I continued cruising down to Florida for the winter. He works from home — his boat — and can work from pretty much anywhere, as long as he has an Internet connection. Since I’m cruising down the Intracoastal Waterway (ICW) and am usually pretty close to various coastal communities and cities, Internet access is nearly always available via cell phone. He’s been thinking about casting off from the Wharf and starting a cruising lifestyle and I would give him the opportunity to see if it was feasible. Meanwhile, I’d get an experienced boater to share my travel costs and give me companionship while I explore places along the way.

It was a win-win proposition.

On Command Bridge
Cocktail hour selfie with Jason and my girls up on the command bridge of my boat as we explored the Potomac.

I left his marina after just five nights — mostly because it’s crazy expensive, even after I got four free nights courtesy of Jason and a liveaboard neighbor. (Thanks again, Chris!) I made my way back down the Potomac and Chesapeake Bay and started south along the ICW. Jason had a conference to attend in Miami and other things to take care of before leaving his boat for what might be months.

We made arrangements to meet at Washington, NC, a town at the source end of the Pamlico River that I’d been wanting to check out anyway. I parked at the excellent town dock and spent two days cleaning and prepping my boat for company. Jason arrived on November 4 — already nine days ago! — and moved on board.

JasonAndPups
Jason texted me this selfie while he was driving the boat from upstairs on the command bridge on Friday. My pups really like him, too.

Without boring you with details, I’ll just say that so far it’s been great. We get along remarkably well — he seems to bring out the best in me and keep me in good spirits. What’s crazy (to me) is that his presence seems to calm me even when I feel as if I’m losing my patience over something dumb. We share all the chores: cooking, cleaning up, and even taking my pups to shore for their potty visits. We go on hikes, try to fish and crab, and wander farther afield with me on my electric bike and him on his Onewheel. On most weekdays, he works at the table in my main cabin while I drive the boat to our next destination, sometimes from the command bridge and sometimes from the bench seat only a few feet away. If he has off from work on a cruising day — like he did on Friday — he drives the boat and I try to keep busy doing other things.

And yes, there’s more to our relationship than what I’m including here, but a girl has to have a few secrets, doesn’t she?

In any case, it looks like Jason will be on board until around mid December. That should take us all the way into Florida, including a stop at my Dad’s house in Fort Pierce on my way to the Keys. Then he’ll go spend the Christmas holidays with his family in Michigan and I’ll continue my travels.

Will he be back? Well, the best way to find out is to read that pesky Great Loop blog of mine. With luck, I’ll start updating it again more regularly.