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Helicopter Training and Broken Promises

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A look back at the warning signs of the Silver State debacle.

I don’t know all the details about the rise of Silver State Helicopters (SSH) because I wasn’t looking for training when it began its phenomenal growth. Once I caught notice of it and learned more about how its training program worked, I began to suspect that it was what I refer to as a pyramid scheme. Not wanting to get myself in trouble with SSH’s legal department — and frankly, not sure if I was right — I kept my opinions to myself. I did, however, try to warn people to take a close look at what a helicopter training program would give them before signing up for one.

The purpose of this article is not to say “I told you so” to the folks who are now suffering from the demise of SSH. The purpose is to shed some light on what may have been going on and the realities of the helicopter industry.

A Look at SSH

If you’re unfamiliar with SSH — not likely but possible if you’re considering a career as a helicopter pilot — here’s a bit of background information.

SSH was a helicopter training organization that used a “program” approach to training. For a set fee of $70-$80K (I’ve heard several dollar amounts in that range), SSH would provide training that would take you through the following helicopter pilot ratings: Private, Instrument, Commercial, and Certified Flight Instructor (CFI). I’m not sure if it included a CFII rating (that’s for CFIs to do instrument training); perhaps someone reading this can clarify.

SSH attracted potential students by holding seminars in large auditoriums. It would come to a city and hold a seminar. Advertisements on the radio and elsewhere promised to explain to seminar attendees how they could become helicopter pilots earning $80,000 a year. This was enough to attract quite a few potential students. After all, what could be a cooler job than a helicopter pilot? And $80K/year is a great paycheck.

SSH arranged for financing at the seminars. So if you came and liked what you heard, you could apply for a loan on the spot and sign up. This immediately put you in debt. I believe money was drawn out to SSH in 1/3 increments, but I’m not certain how that worked. Again, I’m hoping someone intimate with the situation will clarify in the Comments here.

SSH grew incredibly fast. Founded in 1999, it reported revenues of $40.7 million in 2005 and was ranked number 12 on the Inc magazine 500 list of the nation’s fastest growing small businesses(1). They had training centers in 17 states and over 2,000 students enrolled. I heard a rumor that they tried to buy a fully year’s production of Robinson helicopters one year. (Can anyone substantiate that rumor with a reference?) Helicopter pilots were talking about SSH online and in person. And, unfortunately, many flight schools saw a formula that worked and began limiting their training to a “program” as well.

The Program

Many knowledgeable helicopter pilots had a problem with “the program” and the promises made by SSH. My biggest concern was the salary promise: telling people in their seminars that they could get an $80K job as a pilot. I never heard the promises firsthand, and I worried that they were leading people to believe that they could get that salary immediately after the 18-month training program ended. As I explained in “The Helicopter Job Market,” this is simply not the case. The comments on that post — many of which were written by experienced pilots — support my claims.

Then there was the quality issue. I received this comment on my August 2004 post, “Thoughts About My Summer Job“:

I have a question for you. I am looking at begining training, I already have my PPL fixed wing, and I have been looking at a few schools. But have you heard of helicopter academy? Look them up Helicopteracademy.com
0-300hrs. for 50k and a job offer after that. Your opinion would be great or if you have heard anythin about them. Thanks and thatr offer still stands for me to jump in your new bird. lol

(Oddly enough, the flight school he was referring to is the same one my friend Dave works for as the Chief Flight Instructor. And the post he was commenting on was a direct response to a question Dave had asked me. Small world.)

I responded to his comment with a lengthy comment of my own. In it, I listed a bunch of things a potential helicopter flight student needs to consider when evaluating a “too good to be true” deal on training.

At SSH, there were some problems with how quickly students could get through the program. They were supposed to finish in 18 months, but not all of them could do it so quickly because of other job responsibilities or shortages of aircrafts at SSH locations. There were also some problems with check rides — some students simply were unable to pass a check ride on the first try because of their lack of knowledge or skills. Although the FAA says you only need 35 hours of dual time to get a helicopter rating, not everyone can do it so quickly. (It took me 70+ hours; I like to think it was because I did it part time over 18 months and took a summer off.)

I also worried about the affect of releasing so many new pilots into the helicopter job market. If SSH was graduating 1,000 students a year, where were they all going to work? There simply weren’t enough helicopter jobs out there for all of them. As someone who likes to fly for someone else in the summer time, I saw a lot of potential competition for the usual entry level jobs.

In addition, having too many pilots to fill open positions could negatively impact pay rates. Why pay $700/week when you can easily find someone willing to take $500/week? I also saw a decline in helicopter pilot salaries because of a glut of pilots.

SSH Closes Its Doors

On February 4, 2008, SSH declared Chapter 7 bankruptcy. For those of you who don’t know the individual chapters of the bankruptcy code, Chapter 7 is the bad one. It means you’re definitely out of business for good and are liquidating assets. This action put over 700 employees out of work and left 2,000+ students in various stages of completion of their program, some of them owing $70K or more to a lender.

If you’re interested in more facts about the rise and fall of SSH, here are some excellent references on news sites:

The “Pyramid” — Or Borrowing from Peter to Pay Paul

My background is in accounting — indeed, I have a BBA in Accounting from Hofstra University. I was an auditor and financial analyst for eight years. So I think about numbers and I know how people can manipulate them.

When I first heard of SSH, my immediate thought was pyramid scheme. This is probably the term I used when discussing it with fellow pilots. In fact, however, it’s more of a case of Robbing Peter to Pay Paul.

What I saw going on was this: SSH was collecting money up front from students, supposedly to cover their training costs. But it was probably using this money to pay the bills on previously purchased goods and services. So it was always a step behind with payments and it always relied on new student revenue to keep the business afloat.

This would be fine if (1) the inflow of new students remained constant or increased or (2) SSH finally caught up with its debt and began paying current expenses with current revenues.

Unfortunately, neither of these scenarios developed.

The rise in interest rates soon discouraged the smart students from signing up. I was shocked in November 2007, when I read a comment from a reader on my “The Helicopter Job Market” post from earlier that year. In it, he queried:

I’m curious, has anyone ever heard of Silver State Helicopters? Are they reputable?

Also, how is someone to payback an $80K loan at 19% on an entry level salary of 30K/year? That’s a freakin’ house payment each month without having a house! My “off-the-cuff” figuring say’s that equates to about $800 a month for 20-30 years!

I pushed his numbers through Excel and came up with $1,271 per month over 30 years — which I find difficult to believe they’d offer. The total payments over that time would exceed $450K. Hell, he could buy a helicopter for that!

While I still find it difficult to believe that financing terms were that bad, it does tend to explain why SSH’s sign up rate declined to a slow trickle. It also explains why they closed their doors two days after their last seminar, which was held in Florida.

So SSH got to the point where there wasn’t enough new revenue in to cover their debts.

I got an inkling of their serious financial problems in the fall of 2007 when SSH did a major reorganization that eliminated several middle management positions. Later, in January 2008, I was told by a SSH employee that SSH was unable to pay overhaul centers to get their helicopters back from overhaul. As a result, they were running out of helicopters to do training in. Indeed, the Glendale, AZ location had a timed-out R22 sitting in the hangar because they worried that if they sent it to the overhaul center, they’d never get it back.

How I Know So Much About It

Even though I saw the writing on the wall, I had a relationship with SSH that began in 2006. Needing a qualified R44 mechanic for my helicopter, I made arrangements for SSH’s Mesa, AZ location to do my maintenance. The folks there were friendly and helpful and the mechanic did a fine job at a reasonable price. (He’s now looking for work; let me know if you need a full-time R22/R44 mechanic and I’ll put you in touch.)

When I decided to get my instrument rating, I spoke to the folks at Mesa and they set me up with their chief flight instructor in Glendale, which is much closer to where I live. After several false starts, I began my training in January 2008. I accumulated about 12 hours of instrument flight time — 10 of which was in a simulator — before they abruptly shut their doors.

I was surprised, although not shocked. I knew the end was coming, but didn’t realize it was so close. I was lucky, though. I’d been on a pay-as-you go program because of my unusual relationship with them and was paying by credit card in $2K installments. I’d used up my first $2K and had just paid my second $2K for the next month’s training. When I got the call that SSH had closed, I got on the phone with my credit card company and initiated a chargeback. It took three weeks for them to process it, but the money was recovered.

So I managed to emerge unscathed. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the SSH students.

[A side note here: I was notified of SSH’s shutdown by the FAA. My contact there knew I used SSH for maintenance and was worried that my helicopter was locked up in their hangar. His first question to me when he called was, “Do you have possession of your helicopter?” That’s a weird question coming from the FAA.]

Let This Be a Lesson

I hope this post teaches its readers a thing or two about the situation. If we learn from this experience, it’ll help protect us from being victims of similar situations in the future.

In short: if something sounds too good to be true, it might just be. Think things through, do your homework, be aware that not all promises are kept. Don’t sign on the dotted line with your eyes closed or seeing only half the picture.

One last word: I’ve tried hard not to bash or blame any specific person for what has happened and I will not tolerate any bashing or finger-pointing in the comments to this post. If you have something to say about your particular situation or experience, do use the comments feature to share your thoughts. But if you use them to personally attack anyone, your comment will be deleted. This isn’t a helicopter forum and I don’t tolerate the high school mentality that’s so common there.

On Customer (and Peer) Relations

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Or why I changed my flight school.

Yesterday, I dropped out of one flight school and signed up with another one.

For those of you who don’t know me from this blog or elsewhere, I’m a commercial helicopter pilot with close to 2,000 hours of flight time. The vast majority of that time is in Robinson R22 and R44 helicopters — in fact, I have more time in Robinson helicopters than most flight instructors doing training in them. I owned a 1999 Robinson R22 Beta II from 2000 through 2004 and have owned a 2005 Robinson R44 Raven II since January 2005. My other helicopter time is in Bell 206L LongRangers at the Grand Canyon during a summer job.

On Robinson Helicopters

I like Robinson helicopters. I think Frank Robinson has done a fine job designing, building, and selling helicopters that are comfortable, have good performance, and are easy to own and operate. They also give you the most “bang for the buck.” The Robinson is probably the least expensive helicopter to operate when calculated on a per seat basis.

N630MLAlthough my passengers have occasionally commented on the small size of my R44, they’ve never been disappointed with its comfort or the smoothness of the ride. In fact, I’ve had plenty of comments from people who say that the ride was a lot smoother than they expected. (I’d like to think that at least some of that comes from pilot skill.)

No doubt about it: the R22 is a squirrelly little aircraft. It’s a challenge to learn to fly. Other than the electronic governor, there’s no mechanical assistance to make flying easier. The controls are sensitive and unforgiving. Some people think that’s bad. Other people point out that if you can fly an R22, you can fly any helicopter. I can confirm that I had no trouble transitioning from an R22 (max gross weight 1470 lbs, if I recall) to a turbine-powered, hydraulically controlled LongRanger (max gross weight 4200 lbs). In fact, I used to transition from one to the other on a daily basis.

I’m not willing to say that Robinsons are the best helicopters out there for two main reasons: (1) I’ve only had time in one other make/model so how can I know? (2) No helicopter is “best” at all missions. I’m also not willing to say my Robinsons have been perfect for me in every way — no aircraft (or car or fill-in-the-blank mode of transportation) is perfect. But I am certainly proud to say that I’m extremely pleased with my R44 and confident that I made the right purchase decision.

Why am I telling you this? Well, it’s important in the story that follows.

Finding a Flight School

I decided in the spring that I wanted to get an instrument rating.

If you’re not a pilot, let me explain. An instrument rating is a pilot certificate that authorizes you to fly by instrument flight rules (IFR) in instrument meteorological conditions (IMC). It requires you to learn how to fly the aircraft — in my case, a helicopter — without visual references outside the cockpit. Training covers attitude flying (so you don’t get disoriented and crash) and navigation using a variety of radio and satellite based navigation tools: VOR, DME, GPS.

An instrument rating makes a pilot more valuable, especially if they plan to fly in an area where weather could be an issue. I want to get a summer job in Alaska. I’ve been there and I saw that weather is indeed an issue. So I want the rating to make myself more valuable to potential employers and to help prepare me in the event that I do inadvertently lose visibility and need to rely on instruments for part of a flight.

My aircraft is only partially set up for IFR operations. That’s unfortunate because it means that I can’t use it for training. So I have to find a flight instructor who is a CFII (certified flight instructor for instruments) who has access to an IFR trainer aircraft. That means a flight school.

The trouble with helicopter flight schools these days is that they all want to take students through “the program.” This is a soup to nuts approach to learning to fly and it assumes that you want to learn to fly as part of a career.

When I learned, career flying wasn’t on the horizon for me; it was going to be a hobby. Things change. While I do fly for hire now, flying isn’t my full-time career. (I’d starve.) I got my training — private and then commercial ratings — piecemeal or “a la carte” when it was still widely available that way.

It’s tougher now to find flight school that will take a pilot for just one phase of training. Still, I located four candidates: three in Arizona and one in Florida. After deciding that I didn’t want to be away from home for an intensive two weeks of training in Florida, I was left with three choices in Arizona. Let’s call them A, B, and C.

A was really expensive. Although I talked to a flight instructor about the program, I never got the call back I was promised. A fellow pilot had some mildly negative things to say about A, so I decided not to pursue them.

B, which specializes in “the program” was willing to make an exception for me, primarily because of other business we do together. I’d been in a dialog with B for at least six months and we’d come up with a price structure for my lessons. They were very affordable, since they had a simulator I could use for up to 20 hours of my “flight” time, thus saving a whopping $340/hour over their aircraft flight time. I was sold.

Unfortunately, just when I was ready to start, there was an ownership change that caused a reorganization. Things went into flux. I was called down to the flight school to “get on the schedule” and, once there, told that we’d have to have a meeting the next day with the General Manager to review everything. They’d call to let me know when.

I was deeply POed. The flight school is an hour drive — each way — from where I live. They’d lured me down there on false pretenses — doing paperwork, getting on the schedule — and, instead, had wasted my time with a 5-minute meeting that accomplished nothing. And now it wasn’t even certain that I could get my training there.

If there’s one thing I value, it’s time. Wasting my time is a good way to get on my shit list. The new chief flight instructor at B was at the top of that list.

To make matters worse, I never got a call for the meeting he said we needed. Three weeks passed without getting that call.

In the meantime, I found C. C was at the same location as B. They were a much smaller organization that did a lot of charter work with LongRanger helicopters. They also fly Enstroms — two or three place piston helicopters. That’s what they used for their modest training operation.

I’d never flown an Enstrom, but I’m always interested in getting experience in different aircraft. Although they didn’t have a simulator, the Enstrom IFR trainer would be much cheaper per hour than the R44 IFR trainer at B. So I wouldn’t be paying that much more and would get all 30+ hours of flight time that I needed in a real aircraft.

Still angry at B and uncertain of the future due to the reorganization there, I signed up with C.

At the Flight School

I went for my first lesson at C last Friday. The company is based in a big hangar that houses all of its aircraft — turbine helicopters and airplanes — and provides space for its flight training operations. The layout for flight training wasn’t very practical, but I think there was only one other student there while I was there. I have no problem with small flight schools — I think they offer better personalized instruction. So that was not a problem.

My flight instructor was a great guy. Very nice, very understanding. Best of all, he had more flight time than I did, and had even spent a season at the Grand Canyon flying LongRangers. We’ll call him Joe.

Joe and I took care of paperwork and I handed over a check for my first 11 hours of flight time: $2,300 (which didn’t include the instructor time). We covered a plan of action for my self study — I was hoping to save money on ground school by learning as much as I could with home study aids — then discussed what we’d do in our flights together. He patiently explained how a VOR works — which is something I was supposed to learn as a private pilot but never did (and never needed to, as each of my aircraft was equipped with a GPS). Then we went outside, where the Enstrom was waiting, to fly.

Joe and I went through the startup checklist together and he made me start the helicopter. Starting was similar to the R44 Raven II because the Enstrom had fuel injection. I got it started on the second try. But there were significant differences in the rest of the procedure. Clutch activation is done with a weird handle that requires more strength than I have in my right arm — I had to use two hands to pull the darn thing up. And all the time we were on the ground, the whole helicopter was shaking and rattling and Joe was adjusting the mixture to lean it out properly. The whole idea of leaning was stressing me out, since Robinsons generally aren’t leaned at all. (If you lean an aircraft too much in flight, the engine may quit. Helicopters are damn near impossible to restart in flight.) The aircraft’s cyclic also needed to be trimmed using a little “hat” button on top.

Joe and I picked it up into a hover. He tried to trim it out but was not successful; the trim button wasn’t working. It was also running hotter than it should have been. He decided he wanted a mechanic to look at it. I hovered us back into our parking spot — we’d drifted forward — and set it down as gently as I could. It thumped and rattled and I immediately thought of ground resonance, which is something a helicopter with a fully articulated rotor system like the Enstrom is more likely to get than anything I’d ever flown. But we were okay. We cooled down the engine and shut down.

By now, I was having second thoughts about my decision to go with the Enstrom. It was so different from what I’d flown in the past that I was worried the differences would distract me. Perhaps I’d need more than 30 hours of dual to get the instrument skills I needed.

But 30 hours was a long time. Surely I’d get used to the Enstrom quickly — probably within my first 5 hours. And getting stick time in something so different would be good for my development as a pilot.

So before I could talk myself out of it, I’d talked myself back into it.

Things Take a Wrong Turn

Joe talked to the mechanic on the way in. We went to the schedule book and set up two dates for training the following week — the first week in January. Joe promised the helicopter would be ready. We chatted for a short while. I really liked Joe and looked forward to working with him.

On the way out, he introduced me to C’s new operations guy. Turned out, I already knew him from another company in the Phoenix area. He’d moved to C but wouldn’t get specific on why he’d left his former employer. We’ll call him John.

As Joe left us, John began an animated, one-sided discussion about his big plans for C. And that’s when he said two things that really got under my skin.

The first thing he said, numerous times, was that Robinson helicopters were “a joke.” Apparently, that wasn’t just his opinion. He said the owner of C felt the same way.

Now I’ve already reported my feelings about Robinson helicopters. I don’t think they’re a joke. I do think that his criticism of Robinsons — when he knew damn well that I own one — was incredibly rude, insensitive, and just plain stupid.

I didn’t counter with what I was thinking about Enstroms: that they’re rattletraps and that I’d be embarrassed to put paying passengers into one.

The second thing he said was that he planned to “take over” the Phoenix area tour business by offering flights in C’s Enstroms. “We put people into them and fly low and fast over the trees and they love it!” he exclaimed.

Apparently, FAA safety regulations don’t come into the equation. I know that my minimum altitude for Part 135 flights is 300 feet and I know that there aren’t any 250-trees anywhere in the Phoenix area. I also know what the height-velocity diagram looks like for most helicopters. But heck, who cares about safety when there’s money to be made, right?

That was his attitude. And it was also insensitive since he knows damn well that I’ve been working hard to build a helicopter tour business in the Phoenix area. I don’t have a big operation with multiple helicopters and pilots and an unlimited marketing budget. I don’t treat my passengers like cargo, either. But he could easily attract far more business than I could by simply undercutting my prices. It’s cheaper to fly a 3-place Enstrom than a 4-place Robinson, and that’s all people care about. And that’s what he was bragging to me about.

I started to get seriously POed. I started wondering why I’d just handed over a check for $2,300 to an organization which obviously thought so little of me and my aircraft and my business. I started wondering why I was helping to fund this guy’s efforts to put me out of business.

I held my temper. I managed to escape out into the sunshine without trying to wring his neck.

What Happened Next

On the long drive to my next destination across Phoenix, I managed to talk myself into ignoring John. He was a jackass, an idiot. I wouldn’t be dealing with him. I’d be working with Joe. Joe was a good guy. I was lucky to have such an experienced and knowledgeable flight instructor.

But when Wednesday morning came along, Joe called. The helicopter still wasn’t fixed. We’d have to postpone our lesson until the next day.

And he called to say the same thing on Thursday.

And I started thinking that maybe the stars and planets were moving together to give me a second chance, a way out of my arrangement with C.

You see, I was still deeply offended by John’s comments and couldn’t get them off my mind.

I called my main contact at B. After a bit of telephone tag, we had things settled. The pricing we’d discussed was fine. He didn’t care how I paid or when I started. He was extremely supportive. And he got the Chief CFI at his location to call me back. I could get training at B after all. I’d start on Monday.

I called Joe. “Did you folks cash that check yet?”

“No,” he told me.

“I have to ask you not to,” I said. I told him I’d changed my mind about training there. I assured him, in no uncertain terms, that it had nothing to do with him. I told him it was a combination of two things. First, I thought flying a ship as different as the Enstrom might distract me from my instrument training. Second, that I’d been seriously annoyed by comments made by John during our discussion. I got specific. I told him how these comments made me feel and how it was difficult for me to support an organization that thought so little of me, my aircraft, and my business.

Joe understood. He told me that his boss, the chief flight instructor there, might give me a call. I told him that was fine. I also told him that I had no trouble paying for the time we’d spent together the previous Friday. Just send me a bill. But please don’t cash that check.

A New Beginning

So that’s where I stand today. After a false start, I’m ready to begin training at the flight school I’d originally chosen.

But I feel better about this flight school than the one I’d tried. Why? Because my main contact understands good customer relations. Even if hr doesn’t really give a damn about me or need my business, at least he’s pretending that he does.

And when I get ready to hand over close to $10K of my hard-earned money, I want to feel good about who I hand it to.

A Wasted Day

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One of those days when you wish there was a “do-over” button.

Yesterday wasn’t an especially good day as far as productivity is concerned.

Shooting Trouble

I started the day with a computer problem. Simply said, I was locked out of all my blogs. It was impossible for me to download entries into ecto (which is how I first discovered the problem) and impossible to make any changes to my blogs.

The error message I got said my IP address was blacklisted.

I spent the next 3 hours troubleshooting the problem, with calls and e-mails to my Internet connection ISP, my Web host ISP, the maker of ecto, and one of the blacklist maintenance company. The cause of the problem turned out to be a change in the server used by one of my plugins, Bad Behavior. When I upgraded all my blogs to Bad Behavior 2.0.11, the problem went away. I wrote about it in Maria’s Guides, since I suspect there were many Bad Behavior users in the same situation yesterday morning.

But that was 3 hours wasted.

Costco Visit

Next, I was scheduled to attend a 2-hour seminar given by SCORE’s Phoenix Chapter. The seminar was in the Phoenix area, so I had to make a 40-mile drive to get there. I jumped in the shower, washed up, got dressed, and even put some makeup on. Then Ihopped in my little Honda and took off down Grand Avenue, stopping only long enough to pick up some “breakfast” at Filibertos — a pollo asado buritto. It was 10:30 AM.

I needed to hit Costco, near Bell Road and the Loop 101. I’m putting together care packages for U.S. troops deployed in the Gulf area and have 8 more packages to put together to meet my self-imposed quota of 10. Since the kinds of things these men and women were looking for were snacks and toiletries best bought in bulk, I figured Costco would be a good place to shop and perhaps save a few bucks.

When I got to Costco, I realized that I not only didn’t have my Costco membership card, but I also didn’t have my driver’s license for ID. I didn’t want to drive back the next day, so I tried to get some kind of temporary pass so I could shop. I was able to do so, but with the line I had to wait on at the membership desk and the amount of time they took to look up my husband’s business account, I was soon out of time for shopping. I needed to get to the seminar.

Girlfriends Helping Girlfriends

The SCORE event was held at the very nice Glendale Aquatic and Recreation Center. I guess having a facility like this is one of the perks of living in a place where more than 50% of the population is under the age of 65. It was a big meeting facility attached to an indoor pool. I assume that there were other facilities in there for recreation, but I didn’t wander around. I checked in and went right inside.

For some reason, I thought my seat at one of the two dozen round tables was in the back corner of the room. It turned out to be in the front corner. I soon got into a conversation with another female business owner, Marcy, who sells electrical components for commercial construction.

I should mention here that the topic of this free seminar was “Women Helping Women.” Four “successful” business women would each give a 10-minute presentation. Afterward, they’d sit together on a panel where one of the women acted as a moderator to ask them questions. We were supposed to be able to ask them questions, too, but that never happened.

I won’t go into detail on the speakers. I will say that the first one, a “self-made woman,” was primarily a motivational speaker with a big booming voice and a “you can do it” attitude and message. I agree with that entirely, although she was a little too self-promotional for my taste. The next few simply couldn’t compete, with their relatively tiny voices, flat stories, and failed attempts at humor. They should have ended with the big woman. It would have done more to keep us awake than the Hershey’s kisses they put in front of us. (My sugar buzz hit just after the last speaker.)

They talked about networking and helping your “girlfriends.” This is an attitude I just can’t tolerate — pointedly making a distinction between men and women in the workplace and going out of your way to help one gender over the other. I’m of the school that says if you can’t make it in a field, get out and make room for someone else. (This could be a result of working in the highly competitive New York job market, where I had my first career.) I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman. If you can do it, do it. If you can’t, don’t expect help just because you pee sitting down. In fact, I think the attitude of women insinuating that they’re different and need help is part of what keeps them from achieving what they could achieve. They’re holding themselves back with gender-related excuses.

Which may make you wonder what I was doing there. Frankly, as the third speaker started on her “help your girlfriends” spiel, I was wondering that myself.

Time crawled. By the time they were finished, I was ready to go. While the other women “networked,” I bolted.

Back to Costco

This was probably the only productive part of my day. I spent nearly an hour in Costco, gathering up snacks, toiletries, and a few personal clothing items to send the troops. I also bought a case of my current favorite wine, a king-sized bottle of Ketel One, some Pine Sol, flannel sheets for our camper, and two pairs of men’s lounge pants, for me to wear to work in my home office.

I won’t say how much I spent. I will say that I spent too much.

These things filled my car’s trunk. I had to put the case of wine on the front passenger seat.

The Wasted Meeting

By then, it was 4 PM and I still had one stop to make: at the helicopter flight school where I’m planning to get my instrument rating. I called to make sure they were still open and expecting me. They were and they were. I told my contact I’d be there within 30 minutes and hit the road.

I made it in 20 minutes. I went into an office filled almost to overflowing with men in tan flight suits. I found the one I was looking for and he brought me into the new Chief Pilot’s office.

I saw “new” because the organization had undergone a major shakeup less than two weeks before. The man I’d negotiated pricing, etc. with was gone. His replacement was a small, young man who was evidently enjoying his position of power. He produced the rate document that had been drawn up by his predecessor for me. He said that with the other guy gone, I’d have to meet with his boss to verify the rates. His boss worked at Mesa, where I get my helicopter maintained. He’d sent me to Glendale for training, since it was closer to where I lived. But he was in Las Vegas right now, so we couldn’t call him. We’d have the meeting on the next day.

He didn’t seem to give a shit that I’d driven down from Wickenburg — a distance of about 50 miles — for the meeting and that I might have to drive down again for another meeting the next day. I held my temper. It wasn’t easy. I don’t like having my time wasted, especially at the end of a long, frustrating day with a long drive ahead of me.

They wouldn’t even put me in the system or get me on the schedule. The meeting was a complete waste of time.

And I know what’s coming. They’re going to try to go back on the rates we tentatively agreed upon. I suspect that they’ll raise them by about $20 to $50 per hour. Since I need 30 hours, this will make my instrument rating even more costly than the $8K I’d budgeted for it.

I’m already thinking about looking for another flight school. The only problem is, all the flight schools in Arizona — including this one — use the “program” approach: pay one price and get all your ratings and the pseudo promise of a job. I was lucky to find this place so “close” to home. That means I might need to go out of state — which would be more costly — at my busiest flying time of the year if I want the rating by spring. So I’m in a pickle.

But what bothered me most is attending a meeting for no reason other than to tell me that I’d have to attend another meeting. Hell, isn’t that what a telephone is for? Why the hell do people think I wear that damn thing on my belt?

The Drive Home

It took an hour to get home from there. I went west on Glendale Road, then drove around Luke Air Force Base. I got to see some F-16s landing right over my head. (I had the top down.) Then I took route 303 back up to Grand Avenue.

Along the way, I took a phone call from a guy in Montana. A friend of his had flown with me on a tour and told him I might be a good contact for information about R-44 helicopters. I answered his questions. He wants the helicopter to commute back and forth to work, which is about 60 air miles each way. I told him to think of me if he needed a ferry pilot to bring the aircraft from the factory to Montana. That’s a flight I’d love to make.

The drive was nearly traffic-free once I got on Route 303. Between podcasts on my iPod and the telephone conversation, I was kept entertained. So it really wasn’t so bad. I suppose I should get used to it if I’m going to get flight training at Glendale.

It was nearly dark when I got home at about 6 PM. Mike was already home, feeding the horses. As I made dinner, I kept thinking about how much precious time had been wasted that day.

Grammar Is Important

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Note: Okay, so I’m recycling this one. It first appeared on May 10, 2007. In the past few days, it’s gotten a few comments. And since I’m thinking about writing — being in the middle of a book revision for my 70th book — it’s the kind of thing that I would write now –that is, if I had time to write. But I do have time to recycle, so here it is again. If you’ve already read it, why not read it again? I did and I liked it better this time around. – Maria

Some advice for people who want to make money as a writer.

I’ve been writing for a living since 1990, when I quit my day job to become a freelance writer. Since then, I’ve written 68 books and literally hundreds of articles about using computers and other topics.

One thing that amazes me is the number of people who claim they want to be writers but can’t get something as simple as grammar even close to right.

I’m Not Perfect, But I’m Okay

Okay, so here’s my disclaimer: I never claim to have perfect grammar. On the whole, my grammar is pretty good — certainly better than average — but this isn’t because I study grammar. It’s because I read a lot and always have. I believe that reading teaches good (or decent) grammar simply by example.

I use Microsoft Word with the spelling checker turned on (mostly to catch typos, but I admit my spelling skills have slipped over the years) and the grammar checker turned off. My grammar skills are better than the checker inside Word and I consistently find errors in its preprogrammed logic when it’s turned on.

My opinion: Anyone who must rely on a computerized grammar checker to get grammar right should not pursue a career as a writer.

(Allow me to digress for a moment. Back in the early 90s, when I was struggling to make my writing career work, a friend of mine was working as a temp for a company that hired out people with computer expertise. She encouraged me to check out the temp company and sign up. I went to their office in Manhattan with a copy of my first book in my briefcase. Silly me: I thought being a published author would help me get my foot in the door. They made me fill out a form that had the same exact information as my resumé — I never could figure out the bullsh*t of making a person rewrite his resumé on an application form — and then gave me a grammar test. Yes, a grammar test. They wanted to see if I could write. I guess carrying around a 450 page book with my name on the cover wasn’t enough evidence for them. So I took the test. And can you believe it? I got one of the 20 questions wrong. It was the old who’s vs. whose. To this day, I still struggle with that one. In case you’re wondering, they never called me. And I admit I’m pretty glad about that. The whole experience was completely demeaning.)

An Example of a Wannabe Writer Who Needs Help

A while back, I received a communication from a blog reader who wanted to be a writer. Here’s what she wrote:

Thanks for sharing how you make it as a writer. I have always had the dream of being a writer, but just never seem to get with the program.

This is America so I ask my self why not write. I really don”t have a style of my own yet so it will be easier for me to do things the way that publisher want them done.

I just need a topic, or an area of intrest. I heard it said that after you get a topic you will write. (Hope this is true.)

I draw your attention to the second paragraph’s first sentence. Not only does this wannabe spell myself as my self, but she’s completely screwed up punctuation in the sentence, leaving the reader to figure out what she means. The disagreement between noun (publisher) and verb (want instead of wants) could be a typo, but I can tell you right now that publishers don’t want typos.

The third paragraph (also with a typo in the word intrest which should be interest), also has a grammar problem. Can you spot it? Think about it.

Take My Advice

If you want to be a professional writer — that is, if you want to write and get paid for it — you need to understand the basic rules of grammar.

Here are three tips for improving your grammar:

  • Read. Read a lot. Read good quality writing. There’s plenty of it online, on quality publications such as newspaper Web sites, Slate.com, Salon.com, and numerous others. All of these sites have editors who check the grammar, spelling, and punctuation of the writers. Don’t read just blogs. The average blogger is not a writer and very few blogs are edited. Worse yet, many bloggers have their own “style” that shuns standard grammar and spelling.
  • Elements of StyleIf you still think you need help, read a grammar or style book. Lots of people like the Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. (I prefer the illustrated hardcover version.) But there are lots of other books out there. The Elephants of Style by Bill Walsh is lots of fun and very educational. Go to a bookstore (you know, the place you hope to find your name on the cover of a book) and check the Reference or Writing sections. You’ll find plenty of options.
  • When you finish writing something, read it out loud. Unless the language you’re writing in is not your first language, grammatical errors should jump off the page at you as you read them. Simply said: Your writing should sound good when you read it aloud. That’s not just grammar, either. It’s also the rhythm of your writing, the combination of long and short sentences. That’s something that comes with a lot of experience as a writer.

Don’t worry about developing your own personal writing style. It’ll come to you — if you don’t try to force it. Learn the basics first.

Then just write, write, write — until you get it right.

The Children of Men

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Futuristic social commentary by P.D. James.

The Children of MenI just finished The Children of Men by P.D. James. James, who normally writes mysteries featuring her series detective, Adam Dalgliesh, wrote instead of a futuristic world 25 years after the birth of the last-born child. In the world of this book, there are no children, no babies, and no hope for new human life.

James paints a sad picture of that world. Schools are converted into housing for the elderly, colleges now teach courses of interest to adults who don’t have their time occupied by their offspring. Playgrounds are gone. The government is trying to centralize the population in big cities so it’s easier to provide services as the population dwindles and only a handful of elderly people are left.

[This might sound weird, but it reminded me a bit of the retirement town I live in. Of course, there are some children and young people here, but the majority of residents and voters are retired so there isn’t much emphasis on things that would benefit young people. The local school board, for example, was unable to pass a school bond in the most recent vote — people don’t want to foot the bill for education when they don’t have kids in the system. The local Center for the Arts released its 2007/2008 schedule last month, and for the first time since opening about 5 years ago, there isn’t a single family-oriented program on the schedule. Are they giving up on children here in Wickenburg?]

The book has a hero: 50-year-old Theo. Theo is first cousin of the Warden of England, Xan, a self-made dictator first elected as Prime Minister years ago. Xan makes extreme decisions that benefit the apathetic public, by enhancing safety and reducing the cost and bother of supporting the aging population. But a handful of people aren’t happy with his decisions and want to stop him. They go to Theo, hoping he can convince Xan to change things. To say much more would be a spoiler, but I will mention that there appears to be hope for the world when a woman becomes pregnant.

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I enjoyed the book’s fast pace after its initially slow start. A lot of background information was presented in the form of Theo’s personal diary before a third person narrator stepped in and picked up the story. It wasn’t a long book — I read it over a weekend — and the pages turned quickly. Now I’m waiting for the movie based on the book to appear in a Netflix envelope in my mailbox. I have a feeling that the movie will be a lot more exciting than the book, focusing on the events that occur after the pregnancy is discovered, Hollywoodized for maximum visual impact.

Did I like the book? Yes, I did. It made me think. And in today’s world of eye candy entertainment, that’s saying a lot.