On Buying Friends

Another wake-up call from Twitter on the state of some people’s minds.

The other day, I went to look at a small jet boat. I friend of mine here in Washington was thinking of selling it and it sounded like what want I wanted to zip around the Columbia River on sunny days during cherry season. When I went down to take a look, I saw a 16-foot 1995 Sea Ray with some cosmetic issues (as you might imagine) but very clean and in generally good condition. The 120 hp engine was immaculate, tuned up twice a year for its entire life. The price, although not agreed upon yet, would be right within my limited budget for a boat I would only use five months out of the year; paying cash would not be a challenge at all.

I used my phone to take photos to send my husband. He thinks I’m nuts for even considering the purchase, but then again, he thinks I’m nuts whenever I consider a purchase. And he’s not spending every summer just a few miles away from one of the greatest boating and fishing rivers in the country.

Sea Ray Under ConsiderationI also sent the photo you see here to Twitter. I get around a bit and sometimes tweet photos of the things I see and do. It’s part of how I participate in social networks. Along with the photo, I tweeted:

Thinking about buying this for next summer.

I went on with my life, as I usually do. (Contrary to what many people think, I do not live my life buried in a Twitter feed.) We covered the boat back up and made plans to take it out on the river later in the day. I returned around 5:15 with my friend, Pete (in the photo) and his 12-year-old son. Pete has a hitch on his truck and towed the boat to the ramp about 1/4 mile away. We launched it. Linda (in the photo), the owner, joined me for a ride on the river. Considering it hadn’t been used in at least a year, it started up pretty quickly (the battery was kept on a tender in the garage). We took it slow in the No Wake area, then Linda took it up to full speed. She made a few hair-raising turns before we switched places and I zipped around a little. Then I went back, traded Linda for Pete and his son, and took another ride. The boat performed very well and was small enough that I’d be able to handle it on my own.

The next morning, as I lay in bed waiting for the sun to rise, I went through my normal social networking routine, checking Twitter, Facebook, and Google+ for replies to anything I’d written and interesting new tweets. Among the replies was the following, posted by someone who apparently follows me on Twitter:

Maria, why do you want that boat? I suspect you have plenty of friends already just by having a helicopter.

If I’d been sitting up when I read this, my jaw probably would have dropped four inches. I had to read it five times to make sure I understood what he was implying. Was he trying to say that my primary purpose for buying this little boat was to make more friends?

Crescent BarThat couldn’t be any further from the truth. I planned to use the boat mostly by myself, likely on weekdays when most of my friends were working. I imagined exploring the river’s lakes early and late in the day when the winds were calm and the light was good for photography. I imagined skimming over the river when the water was like glass (see photo), cutting a line across its surface at 40 miles an hour. I even imagined taking up fishing again. I had no desire to be out on the river on weekends when the crazies were out. And the boat’s weight limit is only 750 pounds with 5 seats — not the kind of thing you’d use for partying. Heck, I was told it can’t even pull a water skier.

I also need to stress here that I didn’t buy a helicopter to attract friends or even use as bragging rights. There’s a lot of people who don’t even know I own one. (Actually, I don’t own it — the bank and I are still partners on it; I pay them monthly, they let me keep it.) Yes it’s fun to fly around, but I can’t afford to just fly it for fun. It’s part of my business and I work it as hard as I can to make it pay for itself. On the limited times I get to fly it just for fun, I’m usually by myself. I don’t dangle it as a carrot in front of people as a lure into a “friendship.”

I felt a need to set this guy straight, so I replied:

People who are my friend just because I have a helicopter aren’t the kind of friends I want to go boating — or flying — with.

And this is really true. If someone “likes” me because I have a helicopter, they’re probably not the kind of person I want to be friends with. I don’t like shallow people.

His response came quickly; perhaps he’s the kind of person who does live his life buried in a Twitter feed.

I guess that means you have ‘real’ friends. It seems like I have to ‘buy’ mine. Sure wish I could that repositioning trip with you.

He was referring to my twice-a-year helicopter flight between Arizona and Washington, which I take paying passengers or pilots on in an attempt to recoup my costs. Believe me, I wouldn’t take strangers along for the ride if I didn’t feel that I had to. Flying a helicopter is very expensive.

Although the concept of “buying” friends was something almost beyond my comprehension, I certainly didn’t want to open that can of worms with him. I replied:

Yes, I have both real and virtual friends. I don’t tolerate “hangers on.” The trip is amazing; maybe next spring? I come back in May.

He replied:

I first saw your time-lapse video across Arizona (I think) it was amazing. I am envious of people that can go flying every day.

I wasn’t sure which video he was referring to. I hadn’t done a time-lapse across Arizona. I suspected he was talking about my Phoenix to Page video, which was on YouTube. I had done a time-lapse of a flight between Pendleton, OR and Salt Lake City, but I didn’t recall putting it online. I said:

I think that one was just a bunch of clips, Phoenix to Page? Or did you see the time lapse Pendleton to Salt Lake? long flights!

He replied:

the vid was PHX to Page, very enjoyable. I saw the motorcycle racer Mat Mladin has an R-44 for his profile pic. #envy

I had nothing more to say. I felt sorry for this guy. He’d used the word “envy” (or a form of it) in two of his tweets to me. It reminded me that there are people out there who aren’t satisfied with what they’ve been able to achieve in their lives — but instead of working hard to get where they want to be, they sit back and look at what everyone else has with envy. (I can think of two people I’m envious of, and what I envy about them is their jobsnot anything they own.) I don’t know this guy’s story and I probably don’t want to. I suspect we have nothing in common.

I do know people, however, who seem to think that a person’s value is based on what they own. These are the same people who go out and buy a new car every two or three years and load it up with a lot of blingy options. They live in big houses, have lots of toys like watercraft and off-road vehicles, and are in debt up to their eyeballs — or even drowning it it. They think they really want and need these things, but all they really want and need is to show their neighbors and friends and others that they have them.

People call it “keeping up with the Joneses.”

And if they’re lucky enough to have kept their jobs in this recession, they’re working their asses off 40-60 hours a week to earn enough money to keep their heads above water, leaving very little time to enjoy the possessions that have enslaved them.

I’m not like that. I work hard, I live well within my means, and I value my time — and the freedom to make my own schedule and enjoy life — above most things. I don’t have a showy car or house. I also don’t have any real debt (except for that bank partnership for the helicopter). I probably spend about 180 days a year goofing off, doing things I like to do.

It bothered me, at first, that this Twitter person seemed to think I was someone who used money to buy toys to attract friends — and envy, I suppose. But then I realized that he probably didn’t know any better. He might be like that and simply assume that everyone is.

I feel very sorry for the people who just don’t understand what life is all about. It’s not about collecting toys and impressing others with what you own. It’s about learning, growing, doing. It’s about earning friendships by respecting, genuinely caring about, and helping people you like — without asking for anything in return except perhaps a smile or a cup of coffee. It’s about spending quality time with friends and family, doing things together to enrich all of your lives. It’s about making every day count, every minute worth living.

So please don’t hold it against me — or label me as a conspicuous consumer — if I buy this little old boat. I just want to get out on the river a bit and make next summer just a little more fun.

A Shot from the Quincy Fishing Derby

My favorite photo from that day.

Just a quick note here; I’m racing against yet another book deadline and can’t spend much time blogging…

I’m still in Washington, living in Quincy. This past weekend they had a fishing derby where they paid cash prizes for the capture of pikeminnow (squawfish), an invasive species that feeds on salmon roe and fry. There were 120 entries.

On Saturday, I went out on my friend Pete’s boat with two other folks. We motored up and down the Wanapum Lake (the section of the Columbia River adjacent to Quincy) and visited with the folks who were fishing. Pete and I took lots of photos.

I was just getting my photos off the SD card and onto a CD for Pete and the local Chamber of Commerce when I found this one, which is probably my favorite. Yes, those are three very large dogs in that that not-so-large boat.

Have Dogs, Will Fish

Fun was had by all. Not sure who won; again, I’ve been pretty tied up with my book. Next year, I’ll join in the fun. Can’t wait!

As for the folks in this photo — whoever you are — if you prefer not to be featured on my blog, just let me know and I’ll pull the photo down. I think it’s a great shot, though.

A Trip around the Peninsula, Day 3: Port Angeles to Clallam Bay

We take a road trip around the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state.

After three months contractually bound to the Quincy and Wenatchee areas of Washington, I was finally off contract at the end of August. Mike flew out to Washington and we went on a road trip to the Olympic Peninsula. This series of blog posts is a summary of that trip, with photos.

Back on the road, exploring Olympic National Park and the Pacific Coast of Washington.

We left the hotel in Port Angeles early on Wednesday. With half a cup of unsatisfactory hotel room coffee in my stomach, I hit the Starbucks in the local Safeway supermarket while Mike topped off the truck with diesel. Then we started up the road to Hurricane Ridge in Olympic National Park, leaving Port Angeles behind.

It was so early that when we reached the park entrance, no ranger was there to check our park pass.

Tunnel on Hurricane Ridge RoadThe road climbed south slowly into the mountains on a narrow strip of park land. We found a parking area right before one of two tunnels and Mike parked the truck. There was a view to the northeast and we could clearly see the Juan De Fuca Strait, which runs between Washington and Canada’s Vancouver Island. It was relatively hazy and the conditions weren’t good for photography.

I spotted a paved path that wound into the woods and we followed it with our coffee cups and bags of breakfast pastries in hand. At the end of the short path was a viewpoint that looked southeast. The air was hazy; a wildfire was burning out in that direction beyond the mountains. Some interpretive signs talked about the rivers that ran invisibly in the cuts between mountain arms in front of us. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I could hear the water rushing in the distance.

We sat down on some steps and had our breakfast. A few people came and went.

Back in the car, we continued up the road. I should mention here that it was a remarkably beautiful day for that area of the country — not a cloud in the sky. Apparently, the area gets a lot of rain. We didn’t see any for the entire time we were traveling there, although we did run into some marine layer fog banks — more on that later.

LupinesNear the end of the road was the Hurricane Ridge visitor center, a building with a gift shop, food, and great views to the south. There were also a few paved and unpaved paths that wound through grassy, flower-strewn meadows. We parked the truck and went for a walk. The quantity and size of lupine were phenomenal. Tall stalks of magnificent purple flowers seemed to grow everywhere.

Although the views in every direction were magnificent, a layer of smoke and haze from the wildfires miles away made it difficult to capture images of what should have been pristine wilderness. There was still snow on the peaks to the south of us and, with a pair of binoculars, we could examine the few remaining glaciers from afar. (There was also snow at our elevation, mostly on the north side of hills that would get little direct sunlight during the day.)

Snow-Capped Mountains

Mike and I spent quite a bit of time photographing the wildflowers. Although lupines dominated the scenery, there were some other wildflowers to capture in pixels. You can see two of my better closeup shots below. (You can click any photo with a watermark to see a larger version in my photo gallery.)

Butterfly and Bee Indian Paintbrush

We weren’t the only photographers up there, either. I saw at least two other people with tripods. (I was using my monopod.) You really needed some kind of platform to steady the camera when doing closeup images of the flowers.

After close to two hours exploring the area, we hopped back in the truck and continued down the road to the trailhead for Hurricane Hill. We wandered about a half mile up the trail, trying hard to lose a group of noisy hikers who seemed to pause every time we did. We finally turned around and walked back to the truck, eager to continue our trip.

We retraced our route back down the road, turning just after the park gate onto Little River Road. This road, which was mostly outside the park limits, was a “shortcut” that would take us to the Elwha area of the park. It was mostly paved; the unpaved part was smooth enough. We drove past patches of clearcut forest, along with areas of obviously new growth. The Olympic Peninsula — as well as much of Washington and Oregon states — have many tree farms where trees are planted and harvested for lumber. Most of the old growth forest is gone; the trees in the new forests have straight, narrow trunks.

We turned into the park road toward, heading toward an observation point. We flashed out park pass at the ranger and got a map for our efforts. Then we followed the Elwha River south. The water was rushing — even this late in the year — and there were huge pileups of tree trunks deposited by seasonal flooding.

Picnic SpotWe were hungry and planned to dig into some of the cheese we’d brought along when we got to the observation point near the end of the road. But the road was closed for some kind of construction. So instead, we turned into the Altair Campground, which was mostly empty, and pulled into the first campsite, which was right along the river. We carried the cooler over to the picnic table, opened it up, and had a great meat, cheese, cracker, and cucumber lunch.

Afterwards, we headed out of the park, following route 101 northwest. A Piedmont on Crescent Lake, we turned north on a road that wound through more forest to Route 112. Eventually, we were back on the north coast of the peninsula.

We made a brief stop at a small park where we walked along a rocky beach. The tide was mostly out and the weeds that had been deposited on the shore were stinky and buzzing with flies. We didn’t stay long.

Route 112 left the shore and came inland, intersecting with Route 113. We followed 112 north to Clallam Bay. From there, we passed through the small communities of Sekiu, which appeared to be a very large RV park, and Neah Bay, a town on Makah Reservation. We followed the signs to Cape Flattery on a road that cut through the tip of the peninsula to bring us to the ocean side. We followed the road to the end where there was a relatively full parking area for the Cape Flattery trail.

Despite the fact that this trail is so far away from “civilization,” it’s really worth visiting. It immediately dives into the forest on an easy-to-follow pathway that descends gently under a dense canopy of evergreen trees. Most times, this trail is likely dripping wet with typical coastal rain forest weather, but the day we visited it was damp but mostly dry, with bright afternoon sunlight filtering through the branches. Where the trail was likely to encounter mud, it was “paved” with wooden planks or round cross-sections of large logs. It gave off a sort of magical feeling, as if we’d entered into a fairy tale, following the path of Little Red Riding Hood or Hansel and Gretel — but without the danger at the end.

Mike At Cape FlatteryAs we got closer and closer to the point, we could clearly hear the ocean waves crashing against rocks. There were a handful of short side trails to points where you could see the rocky shoreline. Some of them had been built up with rustic log rails to prevent a fall into the water below.

StacksAt the end of the trail was a platform that looked out to the northwest. There was an island out there with a lighthouse on it. To the north, was the opening of the strait and Vancouver Island; a container ship slowly made its way in toward the ports. Waves crashed on the shore against odd-looking formations called “stacks.”

Natural BonsaiBeyond the platform, a lone tree grew like a natural bonsai right at the edge of the cliff. Its gnarled trunk was twisted and curved from years of exposure to the elements. It made an interesting foreground subject for a view of the ocean and stack beyond it. I can imagine the shot being much better, with first light on the scene and a coastal mist partially obscuring the offshore landmarks.

By this time, it was late afternoon and we needed a place to spend the night. We debated about driving all the way back to Forks, which was on the way south. The Maps application on my phone — once I got back within range of the network — mentioned lodging farther south on the coast. I called the phone number. A recording answered and said the office was closed. It was 5:30 PM. I couldn’t understand how a place with cabins could just close at 5. We drove past and saw a bunch of relatively nice cabins, mostly unoccupied, adjacent to an RV park. The office was indeed closed. Their loss.

So we backtracked through Neah Bay and headed toward Forks. Despite very promising signs at Neah Bay about lodging, there was no place there I’d even consider staying. Between Sekiu and Clallam Bay, we spotted a motel with a restaurant next door. We pulled in.

I can’t remember the name of the place and that’s probably a good thing. It was not pleasant. The unit they put us in was at the end of a single-wide manufactured building. It consisted of two very small rooms, one of which had a kitchen it it. Although the place was clean, it was extremely run down and had a weird smell. I think it caters to fishermen. It did have a full sized refrigerator, which was good for us, because it let us store our remaining cheese and re-freeze the bottled water and freezer packs we were using to keep them cold. And it was quiet. And the restaurant was next door.

And, oh yeah: it was pretty cheap.

We had dinner in the restaurant next door. I had a fried fish platter, which was actually pretty good. We shared an ice cream sundae. Then we went back to our room with its cardboard walls, and called it a day.

I was exhausted.

Our Route:

The Pros and Cons of a Bad Haircut

An attempt to make myself feel better about a serious bad hair situation.

On Tuesday afternoon, I got my hair cut.

I told her to take off about half the length of my hair. (I like my hair short.) She started well — for a moment, I actually saw the Maria I like to see in the mirror. But then she lost control. She kept cutting. And cutting. And cutting.

I was afraid to make her stop. I was afraid one side would be left longer than the other.

She took off about 90% of my hair. It lay in piles on the floor.

I left there with the shortest hair I’ve ever had in my life.

I was born with more hair on my head.

So I figured I’d try to console myself by listing the pros and cons of having hair this short for the first time in my life.

ProsCons
After 30 years, I finally get to see what color my hair really is.I have to see what color my hair really is.
It should be really easy to dye my hair.If I dye my hair, I’ll have to do it again in two weeks when it’s twice as long.
I don’t have to comb my hair.I don’t have enough hair to comb.
I don’t have to deal with tangles.I don’t have enough hair to tangle.
I can check the health of my scalp.I can see my scalp.
I don’t have to worry about hat-head.I have to wear a hat.
I finally get to wear some of my hats.I have to wear a hat.
Short hair is really nice in hot weather.It’s autumn.
I look like a very healthy cancer survivor.I look like a cancer survivor.
(I didn’t really have cancer.)People I meet are uncomfortable, wondering whether they should ask about my cancer treatment.
People will be convinced that I got my helicopter flight training in the military.I was never in the military.
I won’t have to get my hair cut again for at least three months.I’d rather have hair to cut.
I have an excuse not to go out in public.I’m too embarrassed to go out in public.

Can I think of any more? I probably will. I’ll add them above.

Oddly, I just joked with a Facebook friend who is hair-challenged — not his choice — that hair is overrated. I take that back. I wish I had my hair back.

And no. I won’t share a picture. I’ll be lying low for a while.