Hell Season is Over

Who says Arizona doesn’t have seasons? We have five.

While I was away in Kingman last weekend, the heat broke and monsoon season — also known as hell season — ended. The humidity dried up to nothing, glasses of iced beverages stopped “sweating,” and the nights became cool enough to open the windows and leave the air conditioning turned off. The mornings are pleasantly cool right up until late morning — and sometimes throughout the day, if you stay in the shade.

In fact, I didn’t even run the air conditioner in my office yesterday. I kept the windows open on either side of the building and placed the floor fan in a position to help that cross-ventilation. I left the windows open overnight, so this morning, I should have cool, fresh air to breathe while I work.

I’m a fresh air kind of person. If given a choice between fresh air and air conditioning, I’ll take the fresh stuff most times. The only time I won’t take the fresh air is when it’s 100°F or higher with that touch of humidity that makes you sweat in the desert.

One clue that monsoon season is over is the complete lack of clouds. Take, for example, yesterday’s time-lapse movie of the view out my office window. The only way you can tell that it’s a movie is the movement of the shadows and ocotillo branches. (Click the Play button to see the movie. You must have QuickTime installed to view it.)

The high today is forecast for 85 in Wickenburg (according to the National Weather Service), with a low of 60. During monsoon season, the low seldom gets lower than 80.

So hell season is over and the autumn season is beginning.

To me, autumn in Wickenburg lasts from the last day of monsoon season (usually in mid-September) until Thanksgiving. October is always the best autumn month. Warm but not hot in the daytime, with low humidity and gentle breezes. Sometimes a bit of rain. Perfect for gardening, hiking, and other outdoor activities. At night, it cools down, but doesn’t get cold. You can throw on a sweater or jacket and do outdoor things without feeling a chill.

We always encourage our east coast family and friends to visit in October. Of course, October is also the best month in New York, where autumn colors peak and the temperature is perfect day and night. In Wickenburg, the only fall colors we have come from the cottonwood trees, and they don’t usually get to the peak of their autumn splendor (yellow) until November.

Winter lasts from Thanksgiving until early March. The worst of it is usually between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The days are still warm — this is Arizona, after all — but the nights are downright cold. In Wickenburg, nighttime temperatures in the 20s are not unusual. During the day, it might be 75°, but as soon as the sun slips beyond the horizon, it’s like someone turned off a heater. All the warm air escapes through the atmosphere. You can actually watch the mercury drop on a thermometer — perhaps 20° in an hour. The coldest time, of course, is right before dawn. Then the sun comes up and the desert warms for the day. This is also the second most rainy season, good for at least an inch or two during the three or so months.

Spring comes sometime in March. The days aren’t too much warmer, but the nights seem to be. Desert plants start to bloom or send out new branches or other growth. It gets very dry — April is normally the driest month here. By April, the days and nights are perfect — although some people who don’t know the rhythm of the desert seasons might think temperatures in the 90s are hot. Nah. Stay in the shade, enjoy the dry air. If you do need to go out in the sun, wear a hat and sunscreen.

April is also the best month for camping in Arizona. I’m hoping to verify that next spring.

Summer starts in the beginning of June. That’s when daytime temperatures exceed 100° pretty much every day. But it’s still comfortable in the shade, primarily because the air is so dry. Yes, it is a dry heat. And if you don’t understand what that means, stand in the shade on a June afternoon, at around 2 or 3 PM (the hottest time of the day), with an iced beverage. You won’t feel hot and there won’t be a drop of condensation on the glass. And at night, it’s still cool enough to keep those windows open.

Sometime in July, hell season begins. I distinctly remember its start the second or third summer we were in Arizona. It was July 4 and we were in town, waiting for the fireworks show to begin. I realized that I was sweating. The humidity had begun, bringing the most brutal of our five seasons with it.

Don’t get me wrong — monsoon season isn’t all bad. The storms that come, usually in the afternoon, are just incredible to watch. Clouds build, lightning flashes, thunder shakes your very soul. Rain comes down in buckets — if not where you’re standing, then certainly within view somewhere nearby. Dry, sandy washes turn into streams and rivers, sweeping away anything in their path. The desert gets the moisture it needs to survive and desert plants and animals soak it up until the next rain. A day or two after the first storm, the desert turns green with freshly sprouted grass. The dust that covered plants and rocks has been washed off and everything is clear and crisp and beautiful.

But it is hotter than hell (or at least pretty close to it, I bet). You’ve probably heard the joke about why Arizonans don’t go to hell when they die. It’s because they’ve already lived there.

Monsoon season goes on for at least half of July, all of August (the worst of it), and the beginning of September. And that brings us to autumn, which we’ve just stepped into here in Wickenburg. And I plan to enjoy every moment of it.

Helicopter Calendar

I order my office calendar far in advance.

Last year, I waited too long to order the helicopter calendar that always hangs in my office. It was sold out and the publisher ran out of stock. I got stuck with a frog calendar that I bought in mid-January. (At least it didn’t cost very much.)

This year, I ordered early — last week in fact — to round out an order at Amazon.com for a pair of DustBuster batteries. The batteries and calendar arrived today.

I’m disappointed. Brown Trout, the calendar publisher, usually has much better photos than these. Most of them were taken from the ground of a helicopter landing, taking off, or just sitting there. Three of them are of Grand Canyon tour operator helicopters (a Papillon Bell 206L, a Papillon Bell 407, and a Grand Canyon Helicopters Eurocopter EC130) and I’m willing to bet all three photos were taken on the same day at the companies’ respective landing zones. Papillon Copter 9 (which I flew several times; it’s a utility ship and rather underpowered when compared to the others) is obviously doing its takeoff run, the 407 is sitting on the pad, and the Ecostar is probably landing. Four photos were taken from the ground or some high place looking up at the helicopter, so you can see its underside. And, if I’m not mistaken, all of the photos were taken in Arizona.

You can see twelve better photos of helicopters in a single issue of Vertical magazine.

But since Brown Trout seems to be the only helicopter calendar publisher, I’m pretty much stuck with this calendar.

And it is much better than the frogs.

Horse Trailer with Living Quarters – Sold!

Wickenburg is still a horsey town.

imageWhat’s 35 feet long, has four wheels, a bathroom, a refrigerator, a sofa, and a queen size bed and can fit three horses? My horse trailer with living quarters — the one I’ve been wanting (but not trying, evidently) to sell for the past year or so.

How many people do you know who could use such a thing? If you and your friends and family live in a city, the answer is probably zero. Even if you have friends who own horses, the answer might still be zero. After all, you need to not only have at least one horse, but you need a 3/4 ton pickup to pull the darn thing and a real desire to take your horse camping. Even I don’t know too many people who meet that criteria. (Although I do admit that I know at least a dozen.)

I decided on Monday that it had to go. I want to buy a new travel trailer that we can use on helicopter ride gigs. One that’s smaller and lighter and has more space for people than animals. One that would cost the same as what I could get for the big thing, so I wouldn’t have to go into debt.

So I made some calls. I called the place we bought it from and asked them if they’d take it back on consignment. They would and they sounded eager to get their hands on it. I figured they’d move it in about a month. Until then, I could finance the new camper.

I then pulled out all my brochures from the RV show we went to with some friends in February. I wanted an “expandable” camper. That’s a cross between a pop-up camper and a hard-sided camper. I studied the floor plans for StarCraft, which is the biggest maker of these things and settled on a Antiqua21-foot model with two beds and a slide out. The floor plan put the beds on opposite sides of the camper and the dinette and sofa in the slide out. The result: plenty of floor space — the one thing that was really lacking in the horse trailer.

I made some phone calls and found a dealer who had the model I wanted in stock and on display. Then I loaded up the recyclables in Mike’s truck, hit the dump to drop them off, and started on the long drive down to Phoenix.

I took the truck because we’re looking for two pieces of furniture — a desk and a small dining table — and I planned to look for that while I was in the Phoenix/Scottsdale area. If I took my car, I would have found them and not been able to bring them home. But since I took the truck, I didn’t find them even though I could have taken them home. Murphy’s Law in action.

The trailer was exactly what I wanted, although I liked the upholstery color scheme in the 2006 model better than that in the 2007. They didn’t have any 2006 models left. I worked with the dealer guy to collapse and then expand one of the beds. It was a 3-minute job, just as he said. We talked money and I left some info for him to see if I qualified for financing. I was in the Home Depot Expo store a few hours later, looking for a table and desk, when he called me on my cell to say that I qualified for the lowest rate (7.9%, which doesn’t sound so good to me) and 12 years (which is insane). The monthly payments would be only $220. No wonder so many people are in such deep dept. Credit is just too darn easy to get.

The next day, I was doing the brochure rounds when I ran into my friend Suzy at Screamers in Wickenburg. I know Suzy mostly through events at the Desert Caballeros Western Museum, but she and her husband are also horse people. They live near us and have the same cleaning lady. I mentioned to her that I was selling my horse trailer with living quarters and told her what I wanted for it. Ask around, I said.

Later that day, her brother called. He wanted to see the trailer. I hurried down to the wash, where it’s parked out of the flood plain, with Mike’s truck and a rag. Although it wasn’t filthy, it wasn’t exactly clean, either. We still had some stuff in it. I got to work while I waited for him.

He went down the wrong road to get to my house — the only time he’d seen it was on horseback while riding up our wash — and called me on my cell phone. “You have to come around to Steinway,” I told him. “Unless you have four wheel drive. Then you can come right up the wash.”

A while later, his truck and a white Jeep rode up the wash. He and his girlfriend, in separate vehicles. I knew her from the Wickenburg Horsemen’s Association — Mike and I are members, although we don’t attend many rides these days. They checked out the camper and I knew pretty quickly that they liked it.

Today, he called back. Suzy wanted to see it. So I met them this afternoon, just as a thunderstorm was moving into the area. Suzy has one that’s like it, but only for two horses. There were things about ours that she liked better. She gave him the nod. He gave me a deposit check.

He’ll come next week to get it. I figure I’ll use Mike’s truck to pull it into town where we’ll dump the holding tank (I think there’s something in there) and use a power washer to clean the inside of the horse part and the outside of the whole thing. I’d like to sell it to him clean. When the weather cools down, Mike and I will give them a demo of how the awning and screened-in room works; it’s a lot easier to put up if you know how to do it.

It’s nice to sell it to someone in town, someone that we know. But it’s also strange. This isn’t the kind of item that everyone wants or needs. It’s a tiny market, at least in the real world. But this is Wickenburg. Despite the zoning changes and development, there are still a few of us horse people around.

Obviously enough to find a market, through word-of-mouth, for a horse trailer with living quarters.

Melon Investor Services Online

A poorly designed Web site.

You think that with the money they obviously have to spend, the folks at Mellon Investor Services would have used some real talent to build their Web site. They obviously didn’t.

Sure, it looks pretty, but it’s nearly impossible to navigate without clicking a bunch of wrong navigation buttons. And half the buttons you press spawn a new little window that displays a stop-light graphic and the message that the information is being accessed. The thing that bugged me the most was when I was required to change my pin to a 6-15 character number. It took me four tries to enter a number the system liked, and when I did, the dialog that appeared gave me the impression that I’d screwed up so bad that they were offering to do it for me. I later discovered that the PIN Manager wasn’t a person but a feature of the site that had been unlabeled as such.

Jakob Nielsen of Web usability fame would have a field day with the Mellon site.

I called for help when a feature I was trying to use kept displaying an error message. After various discussion and hold sessions with two different people on two different calls, I was asked to confirm that I was using Internet Explorer. I told her that I wasn’t, that I was using Firefox on a Mac and wouldn’t waste space on my hard disk with a Web browser that hadn’t been updated for four years. She obviously didn’t understand my sarcasm because she told me to “exit” Firefox and “start” Explorer. I repeated that I was on a Mac and if their site didn’t work on a Mac they were alienating a lot of users.

After another hold, I was told that her supervisor could duplicate the error message and that there was probably something wrong with the site.

Duh.

She then suggested that I try another time. By this time (30 minutes after my initial attempt to use the system), I was fed up and ready to hang up. But she had to get one last dig in: “Have I helped you with all your concerns today?”

“No,” I said. And I hung up.

Luxury Toys?

We’re not impressed.

Yesterday, Mike and I drove down to the new Cardinals Stadium in Glendale, AZ for the “Men’s Luxury Toy Expo and Sale.”

Mike and I are big into toys. It isn’t because we like to be conspicuous consumers. We have so few close friends in the area that there’s no one to show off to. It’s just that we like to play with toys. So it’s always nice to see what’s out there to play with.

If your idea of a “luxury toy” includes hot tubs, sand rails (modern day dune buggies), and garage storage solutions, then this show was for you. Unfortunately, those things don’t fall into what we’d consider luxury toys. We were pretty disappointed, since that’s what dominated the show.

To be fair, there were two or three Ferraris (the definitive sports car, in my opinion) and some very nice, mint condition classic cars. And I did like the idea of buying a room on a residential cruise ship to live out the rest of my life on a nonstop, around-the-world cruise. (Now that’s a house boat! I just find the $1.8 million entry fee plus $90K annual maintenance a bit tough to swallow right now.) But there were also vendors selling beef jerky, overpriced plastic shoes, and miracle mops. (In my opinion, if you have enough cash to afford a real luxury toy, you also have enough to pay a professional to keep it clean for you.)

The weirdest thing was seeing an advertisement for one of the garage storage solution places with the same exact layout and colors as my Flying M Air brochure. If that wasn’t a rip off of David’s design work, I don’t know what is. They could have at least changed the color scheme. The ad was in the show brochure and I won’t dignify it (or spread the word about the company) by reproducing it here. I’m just glad they weren’t pushing helicopter tours and charters. I’m trying to use the design for my new branding and it’s not nice to see someone else trying to do the same thing with the same design.

I’d brought along a bunch of Flying M Air brochures and old Sedona/Grand Canyon rack cards with the idea of leaving a few around on tables with other mixed literature. There weren’t any such tables, so I wound up carrying around the brochures for the whole show. That wasn’t so bad because we were only there for about an hour.

I thought the event might be a good place to advertise the business. Imagine bringing Zero-Mike-Lima onto the show floor, all sparkling and clean. That would certainly get some attention! But when I saw the kinds of people walking the floor, I realized that the dreamers outnumbered the buyers by a good margin. (The beef jerky guy was doing a good business but I didn’t see the residential cruise ship guy handing out too many cards.)

I don’t regret going, though. We got to see the inside of Cardinals stadium, which isn’t 100% finished yet. (Looks like they still have some painting to do in the bowels of the arena.) It’s a nice place — very state-of-the-art and the air conditioning works pretty darn good. The show was on the stadium’s concrete floor. The grass, which was growing nicely outside, looked ready to roll in for a game any time. The only thing I regret was not taking a few pictures. It isn’t often that you get to walk on the field (sans grass) for the newest football stadium in the country.

Would I go again? Doubtful. I’ll call later today to see what the exhibitor pricing is like. If it’s affordable, I might give it a try. Depends on how the beginning of my season goes. The show is in February; my big season here in Arizona starts in November. So I have plenty of time to think about it.