The Mohave County Fair

We give Kingman residents and visitors helicopter rides.

I started planning for the Mohave County Fair at least a year ago. I exchanged phone calls and e-mails with the folks who handle the concessions for the fair, including Betty Watters and her son Phil Richardson. I flew up to Kingman in June to check out possible landing zones. That’s when I paid the fee for my “booth” in the north parking area. The dates September 15-18 went from pencil to ink on my calendar.

Mike and I went up to Kingman early Thursday morning. I flew, Mike drove. Mike brought our camper up there. It’s a 3-horse slant trailer with living quarters. I left about an hour after Mike and arrived at the fairgrounds the same time he did. I did a lap around Kingman, planning my route for rides, while Mike parked and secured my landing zone. Then I landed in a huge cloud of dust, cooled down the engine and shut down. We spent the next two hours setting up boundaries for the landing zone, putting up banners and signs, and doing housekeeping chores in the camper. The nice folks at the fairgrounds allowed us to park the camper at one end of the landing zone. On the other side of the fence were a few portable toilets (which we wouldn’t need) and the trailers and living quarters for the carnival folks. Beyond that were the carnival rides and attractions. And beyond that was the rest of the fair.

Photo

Mike made a trip to the local True Value hardware store to pick up a sprinkler and another hose. Phil had run his own hoses to the landing zone and we decided to use a sprinkler, which we’d move periodically throughout the day, to keep the landing zone damp. That would keep dust down. Mike also had to take a trip to town to fill the camper’s two gas bottles so we’d have refrigerator, hot water, and stove use. The camper also has a full bathroom with two holding tanks, so we could use our own clean toilet and shower daily.

We also had Jack the Dog and Alex the Bird with us. Jack had to stay on a leash. Alex stayed under the trailer’s awning in his cage. Neither of them were bothered by a helicopter taking off and landing about 150 feet away from them.

Betty had asked her neighbor, Tony, to give us a hand. Tony is on permanent disability after being hit by a truck years ago, but he was fully capable of helping us with the things we needed to do. He wound up working with us on Thursday and Friday and lending moral support on Saturday.

By 2 PM, we were ready to do rides. The only thing we needed were passengers. That was the problem. It was 2 PM on a weekday. Kids were in school, parents were at work. No one was interested in the carnival or our rides.

The ride took off from the north parking area. I had to make a crosswind departure, since heading into the wind would have taken me right over the carnival rides. From there, we flew up the east side of Centennial Park, north of Wal-Mart, just north of the I-40 pass through the mountains, down to the Beale Street exit on I-40, along the south side of Andy Devine Boulevard, across Hualapai Mountain Road, and up the east side of the fairgrounds. I made a 1807deg; turn at a cell tower north of I-40, then came straight in to the landing zone, landing right into the wind. Total time was about 6-8 minutes.

I’d priced the rides at $25 per person including tax. This was before fuel prices went up, so it was a real bargain. My usual ride prices are $30 to $35 per person for an 8-10 minute flight, but the fair folks practically begged me to keep the price down. So I did, depending on the cheaper price to attract more passengers and shorter ride length to make it profitable.

We managed to give 11 rides on Thursday. Very disappointing. We went to the Dambar restaurant for a good dinner, though.

On Friday, things weren’t much different. I walked over to the nearby junior high school around 10 AM, suggesting that a few of the teachers might want to walk students over to see the helicopter and get one of my presentations on aerodynamics or how helicopters fly. The school was very interested, but Fridays are half days so classes are shorter. There wouldn’t be enough time for any of the classes to walk over and back and get the presentation.

Things picked up late Friday afternoon. We did 10 rides, most of which were after sunset. The moon was big and full and beautiful and the carnival rides looked great from the sky.

By that time, our two helpers, Alex and his college buddy Ryan, had come to help out. There wasn’t much for them to do. They pitched their tent behind our camper, uncomfortably close to those portable toilets on the other side of the fence. We ate carnival food for dinner and walked around the fair.

We were pretty disappointed at the turnout so far.

Saturday changed everything. Although I wasn’t supposed to start flying until 10 AM, my first passenger arrived at 9, before the fair even opened. Heck, I didn’t care. I gave him a ride. For the next two hours, I did a few rides. Then the dam burst (so to speak) and I had a nonstop flow of passengers. Mike, Alex, and Ryan loaded 2 or 3 people on board for each flight. The only time I shut down was to get fuel at the local airport 5 miles away (three times!) and to take a 20-minute lunch/bathroom break. I put 5.5 hours on the helicopter’s hobbs meter that day — quite a bit when you consider that the hobbs only ticks when I’m in flight so my time spinning on the ground didn’t count. I figure I took about 100 passengers for rides that day. Most of them were in a helicopter for their very first time. I gave all the kids who flew with me helicopter toys (while they lasted). One guy liked it so much he went up twice.

We celebrated with four steak dinners at the Dambar.

Sunday looked as if it might be a repeat of Saturday, but the flow of passengers was starting later. The wind was stronger than the previous few days and it was warmer, so taking off with a crosswind (rather than a headwind) when I was heavy was tough. I did about 20 rides before we decided to call it quits. It was 1:30 PM. We packed up, said goodbye, and got ready to go.

I stopped off at the carnival office to leave a card for the carnival owner. I’d had a good event and was interested in working with carnivals to do it more often.

Mike left with the camper and I took off with Alex and Ryan. We took the scenic route home: to Bullhead City and down the Colorado River to Parker, where we refueled (at $4.54 per gallon!). From there, we hooked up with the Bill Williams River, overflew Swansea and the Alamo Dam, and returned to Wickenburg.

We’ll go back to the Mohave County Fair next year. But we’ll just spend all day Saturday and Sunday. I’m already looking forward to it.

My thanks to Betty and Phil for all their help.

Outsourcing Blues

An actual transcript from a “technical support” chat with Microsoft.

Outsourcing telephone support jobs to cheaper foreign labor sources is one of the reasons my sister is currently unemployed. But that’s just one of the reasons I’m so opposed to outsourcing. The other is obvious from this actual transcript from a recent technical support session I had with Microsoft. This alone is one good reason to avoid buying products from companies that outsource their technical support.

Welcome to Microsoft Windows XP Chat Support
The Windows XP Chat Session has been accepted.

{Vinoth}Thank you for using Microsoft Windows XP Chat Support. My name is Vinoth. May I address you by your first name?
{Maria Langer}Yes.
{Vinoth}Thank you.
{Vinoth}Maria, how are you today?
{Maria Langer}I’d be better if I could get this thing to work.
{Maria Langer}Can I explain my configuration to you? It’s somewhat unusual.
{Maria Langer}I think knowing what I have here will help you.
{Vinoth}Maria, please do not worry, I will put my level best to fix this issue.
{Vinoth}Sure.
{Maria Langer}All the computers are networked via a wireless network on an Airport Base Station.
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Maria Langer}So I know the wireless part is okay.
{Maria Langer}The printer is an HP LaserJet 2100TN network printer.
{Maria Langer}It is connected to one of the Macs via an Ethernet cable and hub.
{Maria Langer}I cannot, however get the PC to print to the printer.
{Vinoth}Is your computer is connected to a Domain or a Workgroup?
{Maria Langer}Domain or workgroup. Not sure what you mean.
{Vinoth}Is the airport basestation is connected to any fileserver?
{Maria Langer}No.
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Vinoth}Just to make sure I have the correct information, could you please confirm the following information?
Case ID : SRZ050606001585
Email Address : mlanger@xxx.com
Phone Number : 928-684-XXXX
{Maria Langer}That looks right
{Vinoth}In case, if we need to contact you through phone regarding this issue, what would be the best suitable time (A two hour time slot with the time zone)?
{Maria Langer}Mornings are best. I’m here by 7 AM MST.
{Vinoth}We are going to troubleshoot this issue through chat and in case if we need to contact you through, can I take the suitable call back time as 7 am – 9 am MST?
{Maria Langer}Any time from 7 AM to 3 PM should work.
{Maria Langer}That’s a more precise answer.
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Vinoth}Maria, I understand that you want to install a network printer in your wireless network environment, is this correct?
{Maria Langer}Let me try this again.
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Maria Langer}I want to connect to an existing printer that is connected to a computer accessible via a wireless network.
{Maria Langer}Ok.
{Maria Langer}I guess the terminology would be to “add” a network printer to Windows.
{Vinoth}May I know how many computers connected in your network?
{Maria Langer}There are actually 3 Macs and 2 PCs, including my husband’s laptop in the other room. But I don’t access the Laptop.
{Vinoth}Maria, I understand that you have 3 Macs and 2 PCs and your laptop, currently the HP Printer is connected to one of the MAC and working correctly as a Local Printer, now you want to install that printer as a network printer so that you can give print from any one of this computer, is this correct?
{Maria Langer}Yes, but that printer is also working fine as a network printer among the Macs. Printer sharing is turned on on the Mac.
{Maria Langer}I don’t think it’s working as a “local” printer at all. They all access via the network.
{Maria Langer}The answer, according to the Apple support site, is to set up SMB/CIFS printer sharing.
{Maria Langer}There’s nothing about it in onscreen help.
{Maria Langer}http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?path=Mac/10.4/en/mh1770.html
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Vinoth}Do you able to access that network computer through any of the other two Windows XP Desktop computers?
{Maria Langer}Yes.
{Maria Langer}The computer I’m trying to print from has no trouble “talking” to any of the Macs via the Wireless network.
{Vinoth}May I know the operating system of both the MAC and the Desktop Computer (XP Home or Professional)?
{Maria Langer}Mac = Mac OS X 10.4.1
{Maria Langer}PC = Windows XP Home
{Vinoth}Thank you for providing this information. Please give me 2 to 5 minutes, while I go through this case information. In the meantime, please read through the following:
{Vinoth}In the meantime, if for any reason you need to reconnect to Chat Support regarding this issue, please use your SRZ case number.

To reconnect, please do the following:
1) Open “Help & Support”
2) Choose to “Get Support”
3) Choose to “Get Help from Microsoft”
4) On the next screen, choose the option to “View My Support Requests”
5) Click on this SRZ Case number in the ID list and then select Chat.
{Maria Langer}Okay. Perhaps you can point me to a document with the following information:
{Maria Langer}”To print to your printer, Windows users must configure an SMB/CIFS network printer and use the Postscript printer driver, even if the printer isn’t a Postscript printer. Your Mac will translate the Postscript code into code the printer can understand. Have the Windows users see their Windows documentation for information on adding a network printer.”
{Vinoth}Okay.
{Vinoth}Now, all the computers in the network able to communicate with each other (both the Mac & Desktop Win XP) and the HP printer is working as a network printer and you can able to access the printer on all the MAC computer and now you want to share the printer so the Windows XP Computer can also access that computer, is this correct?
{Maria Langer}The printer is already set up for sharing, but the PC can’t “see” it.
{Maria Langer}In other words, I’ve done everything correctly on the Mac side. It’s the windows side I can’t get set up right.
{Vinoth}Does only the Windows XP Desktop computer unable to access the Printer or the MAC?
{Maria Langer}Yes.
{Vinoth}Does the MAC computer able to access this network printer?
{Maria Langer}Yes.
{Maria Langer}All of the computers can print to the printer EXCEPT THE WINDOWS PC.
{Vinoth}Okay, please give me 5 to 7 minutes to research this issue.
{Vinoth}Thanks for waiting. I appreciate your patience.
{Vinoth}Maria, since the printer is connected to one of the MAC, it lies under out of our Windows XP Support boundary, but still I will my level best to fix this issue.
{Vinoth}I’m going to research this issue for you now. It could take up to 5 to 8 minutes to check every possible avenue for a resolution to our issue. If you need to step away from the computer for a few minutes while I’m researching it, please feel free to do so. Your patience and co-operation is highly appreciated.
{Maria Langer}THIS IS BULLSHIT. The problem is, you don’t understand English.
{Maria Langer}While I was waiting for you to decipher the information, I FIXED THE DAMN PROBLEM.
{Maria Langer}Why do you think I have FIVE MACS and only one PC?
{Maria Langer}Because I’m sick of dealing with support people who will use any excuse they can to NOT answer a question they don’t understand.
{Vinoth}I am sorry for the inconvenience.

At that point, I left the chat.

Subsequently, Microsoft tried to contact me several times to talk to me about this session. I refused to talk to them.

It’s a shame that one of the biggest companies in the world, owned by the richest man in the world, turns its back on the U.S. public by outsourcing jobs to people who don’t even have the basic communications skills needed to get the job done.

I’d ask everyone to boycott Microsoft, but we all know how impossible that is. Instead, I ask that if you have a similar experience, write to Microsoft to complain. Let them know that U.S. customers want to be supported by U.S. workers. Keep jobs for American companies in the U.S.

Some People Just Can’t Read

I’m bothered by a reader seeking technical support.

I’d just checked into the Hotel McCall, in McCall, ID. Mike and I were making our way from the desk to the stairs when my cell phone vibrated.

“Hello?”

“Is this Maria Langer?”

“Yes.”

“The author of the bestselling guide to Quicken 2003?”

I started to get a bad feeling. “That’s what they tell me,” I replied.

The caller proceeded to introduce herself as an 88 year old woman living in New Mexico who had bought my Quicken 2003 book to learn Quicken. She was having a lot of trouble with the software and needed help.

“How much do you charge for consulting?” she finished.

“I’m sorry,” I told her as gently as I could. “I don’t do consulting anymore. And I don’t support my books by phone.” This is clearly stated numerous places on my Web site. “You called on my cell phone,” I added. “I’m on my way out. I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Go to Intuit’s Web site for help.”

And before she could protest, I flipped the phone closed.

Some readers just can’t read. They search my Web site for a phone number and call anyway. In this case, she went the next step: when she didn’t get me at my office (on a Saturday afternoon, no less), she decided to interrupt my weekend by bothering me on my cell phone.

I didn’t have a computer with me. And even if I did, it wouldn’t be a PC with Quicken 2003 installed. The current version of Quicken is 2006; can she honestly expect me to support (or remember) software that’s 3 years old?

In a way, I admire her guts. But don’t get any ideas. I don’t provide technical support by phone. Period. End of statement.

In fact, her call kind of pissed me off. Why? Because like a few other people over the past few years, she seemed to think that the statements I made on my Web site about technical support didn’t apply to her. Maybe it was because she was 88 years old. Maybe because she was a woman. Or because she lived in the southwest. Or because she was crafty enough to track down my phone number and dial it.

There’s an FAQ system on my Web site. One that I designed and implemented, with no small amount of effort, with FileMaker Pro. It’s basically a database of questions and answers. Readers seeking support are asked to read the questions and answers for the book they’re interested in. If their question is not answered, they may post another question. I usually get around to answering them within a week or so. Sadly, few readers bother to read the questions before posting their own.

And what is it with people? They think that just because they spend $25 on a book, they own a piece of the author. (And how much of that $25 do they think I get?) I don’t mind clarifying or correcting information in my book, but so many people want more. They want me to add content, just for them. Just write a few more pages covering the obscure topic they need to learn about.

So half the contents of the FAQ system fall into one of two categories: questions that are beyond the scope of my book and questions that I’ve already answered in the FAQ system. Once in a while, I’ll get a question from someone who claims to own the book but, if so, doesn’t know how to use a table of contents or index. When I get one of those, I just give him/her the page reference in the most recent edition of the book.

There’s another thing, too. I clearly state on my Web site that I only answer FAQ questions about books listed in the pop-up menu there. Quicken is not one of the listed books. Why? Because of all the abusive readers I’ve had to put up with over the past few years. People who use the FAQ system to post nasty comments about the book, followed by a question they demand an answer for. Comments and questions regarding missing content that is so obscure they’re likely to be the only people to miss it. Content that I wouldn’t cover even if the book were 2,000 pages long. One day, a reader pushed me too far. I deleted all the Quicken FAQs, removed the book from the menu of books, and stated that I was no longer supporting it. When I told my editor what I’d done, she wasn’t concerned. She thought that the FAQ system was already above and beyond the call of duty. So now readers can get support for the book from the publisher’s Web site.

Anyway, this reader’s call bugged me for a few hours. But then I tucked the experience away in the back of my mind and got on with my life.

Publishing a Podcast eBook

Maria Speaks Episode 2: Publishing a Podcast eBook

A description of my new eBook, “Maria’s Guide to Publishing an iTunes-Compatible Podcast.” Learn more about the book and the Maria’s Guide series, including how to download a sample chapter of the book. This podcast also includes most of the text from the book’s introduction.

Note: This podcast has been taken offline, as the book is no longer available. I’ve since found a better way to publish podcasts online.