People Who Can’t Read

It’s one of the little things that drive me nuts.

It’s not really people who can’t read. It’s the people who don’t read.

I run a Web site called wickenburg-az.com that’s surprisingly popular as a source of information about the town. You could check it out and find out what the Town Council will be debating at the next council meeting and learn about some neat things to do in the area and read some humor by the Arizona’s Official Liar. You can also find some information about the few Wickenburg businesses worth writing about — let’s not go there right now, okay? — and see some photos of the town and read letters to the editor of the local paper that they either won’t print or won’t print before their authors get sick of waiting to see them.

And if the information you find there isn’t enough, you can go to the contact page — like so many people do — and find the following statements:

All of the information we have about Wickenburg, its businesses, and its events are included on this Web site. We do not have any additional information that we can send out to site visitors….Please do not use the form to ask the Webmaster questions about Wickenburg. Your questions will not be answered.

The bold text appears on the page in bold. I did it that way on purpose, so people would see it easier. Evidently, it doesn’t help them read or comprehend it. Because I continue to get e-mail messages submitted via the form with all kinds of questions about the town.

Like today’s messge, written by a man with a stuck CAPS LOCK key. He wants to know if our library “rents” DVDs and if he can get a temporary library card. How the hell should I know? Does he expect me to drop everything and call the library for him? Why doesn’t he pick up the damn phone and call the library himself? Did running a Web site make me his personal assistant?

Or the woman who wrote asking for information about the gated communities in town. What the hell does she think Wickenburg is? A suburb of Scottdale? There are no gated communities here.

Or the retired couple who were looking for the 55+ trailer park with the cactus sculpture out front. Do they think I drive around town looking at trailer parks? I actually made the mistake of answering this e-mail message, telling them I had no idea what park they were talking about. They had the nerve to write back and ask me to look for it.

Like I don’t have anything else to do with my time.

And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten requests for information about events that might or might not be held in town. wickenburg-az.com has a calendar of events online. If an organization doesn’t submit event information to me, how am I supposed to know about it? So not only is it not listed, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t exist.

So now, when I get these messages, I delete them. I just press the old delete key without sending a response, leaving the sender wondering if their message ever got to anyone. It’s the best way to deal with it. They don’t write again. At least not to me.

Call me a bitch. You won’t be the first — or the last.

But if people can’t take the time to read simple information in bold type above a form, why should I take the time to answer their unwelcome questions?

Copy Editing – Part III: Editing for the Sake of Editing?

That’s what it sometimes looks like to me.

In the first two parts of this series, I told you what I think copy editing should be and told you about my experiences, over a period of 10 years, working with copy editors for the annual revision of one of my books.

In this part of the series, I’ll sum up with a few of my conclusions and observations.

Stet!Editing for the Sake of Editing

I don’t think a copy editor should make a change unless there’s an error in the text he’s editing. Error means something wrong. Not something that’s equally correct his way or the author’s. If an editor’s change does not make an improvement, it should not be made at all. Period.

This is my opinion, but I think that most people in the publishing industry — especially the authors, of course — would agree. In fact, it seems like a no-brainer.

But it does not explain the commas that have come and go with each edition of this particular book. Or numerous other changes that have not improved the book’s content. Those, I think, are edits for the sake of editing — the editor’s way of proving that he’s on the job, doing what he’s being paid to do. Almost as if he’s being paid by the edit and wants to maximize his revenue or worth.

Unfortunately for these copy editors, it’s the copy editor who understands his job and does it as instructed who will be called for the next job. My recent copy editor certainly won’t be working on any of my books again. (Most likely because the PE doesn’t want to have to deal with my complaints.)

A publisher has no need for an editor who pisses off all the authors — even if some of them are prima donnas. Who wants headaches when you’re putting together a book? Why make changes when the changes aren’t needed?

Frustrated Writers?

A lot of writers (note that I didn’t say authors here) believe that editors are just frustrated writers. The thought goes something like this: If you can’t do, teach. If you can’t write, edit.

Double-ouch!

In general, I don’t think this is true. I think some people just like to edit. They might have the skill set or patience for it. They might enjoy reading an author’s work and fine-tuning it to make it better for the reader. They might simply lack the desire to do what’s required to write a book: organize, research, compose, etc. for 300+ pages of text. That doesn’t mean they can’t do it. Just that they’ve chosen not to.

[In my case, the reverse might be true: If you can’t edit, write. My editing often comes down to rewriting. That’s not a crime if my name is on the book cover, but it is unforgivable if my only mention is fine print on the copyright page. So there’s no career as an editor in my future.]

But like other writers, I also suspect that some editors are frustrated writers. They just haven’t had the break they need to get their own work published — for whatever reason.

After all, it isn’t exactly easy for a writer to become a published author. (Again, I think there’s a big distinction here.) Sure, in the era of Web 2.0, anyone can write and be published. But it’s still a more traditional publishing process — one that involves acquisition, project, copy, and technical editors — that turns a writer into an author. And that process isn’t as easy as writing your thoughts in a form and clicking a button to publish it on a blog.

Got Something to Add?

If you’ve got something to add to this discussion, don’t be shy. Use the comments link or form to add your comment to this post so others can take advantage of your insight on this matter, too!

Goofing Off on a Summer Sunday

Getting hot, tired, and stinky.

The original plan, when I left the house with Jack the Dog this morning, was to go to the airport and wash the helicopter before it got too hot out.

Immediately Sidetracked

It was about 8 AM when I left the house. I stopped off at the supermarket to buy a case of bottled water for the hangar. I store the water in the fridge and bring it on trips for my passengers. I bought Arrowhead because it’s spring water (not from a “municipal source”) and tastes pretty good to me.

At the airport, I swung past the high rent district. That’s our pet name for the newer hangars on the northeast end of the developed area. (Our hangar is in the originally, low-rent district.) I was pleasantly surprised to find quite a few people out: Ivan and Shelley, Dave and his friend (who turned out to be my accountant’s son), and Ray and his mechanic.

Dave is renting space for his Hughes 500C in John’s big hangar while John has his Commander in Colorado, where he’s smart (and rich) enough to live in the summer time. I pulled up alongside the open hangar door.

“Going out?” I asked.

“Yeah. I haven’t flown in a month. I got get the dust off it first.”

“Where are you heading?”

“Well, there’s a narrow canyon with a creek in it up around Hillside. I think there’s a place to land down in there. You want to come?”

I did and told him so. But then Jack and I went to chat with Ivan while Dave dusted his helicopter. And I started thinking that I really should just wash the helicopter.

Meanwhile, Dave and his friend pushed the helicopter out and we closing the hangar door. “Is Ray going, too?” I asked.

Dave told me he might, but not right away. He had some things to iron out with his mechanic. And they were thinking of going to the Weaver cabins instead. The raspberries should be ready for picking.

I told him that I might meet them there. Then Jack and I got back into the Jeep and headed to our hangar where my dusty helicopter waited.

Heli Outings, the Wickenburg Way

I should mention something here. When we go on helicopter outings, we each take our own helicopter. Even though we each have four seats and we seldom have more than one companion, we still all climb into separate aircraft. It’s worse when there’s only one of us in each helicopter.

Dave tells a story about when he, Ray, and Jim explored a plane crash site out in the desert, “Yeah, we burned 90 gallons an hour to get three guys out there.”

In our hangar, I had to make a decision. Go or not go? And if I go, what do I do with Jack the Dog?

I decided to go and to bring Jack the Dog with me. After all, he’d earned his wings over a year before and had flown twice in the helicopter.

I loaded up my little cooler with three bottles of water and an ice pack from the fridge. Then I got Jack’s harness and the saddle blanket we use to protect the back seats when he’s in there. He trotted alongside the golf cart as I wheeled the helicopter out to the fuel pumps.

Meanwhile, Dave had started up his helicopter and hover-taxied to the fuel island. He was shutting down as we approached. The fuel guy came out as I was removing the wheels and I told him to top off both tanks. I had a flight to Meteor Crater at 6 AM the next day and I didn’t want to worry about fueling in the dark.

While he fueled, I tried to put the harness on Jack, got it on sideways, and spread the blanket on the back seats. I patted the seat and he jumped in. Then I fastened his harness to the seatbelt. It was the first time I was flying with Jack without another human on board and I didn’t want him getting excited and jumping into the front seat area. Especially since my door was off.

Ray had pulled his helicopter out of his hangar on its dolly and left it parked on the other end of the ramp. As I started up, he fired his up, too. And Dave started up.

A typical summer Sunday afternoon at Wickenburg’s otherwise dead airport: three helicopters starting up on the ramp.

The Weaver Cabins

Dave made a radio call and took off to the north. Ray hovered over to the taxiway without making a radio call. I didn’t know what he was up to.

“You going, Ray?” I asked.

“No, you go on,” he said. I realized he was still working on things with his mechanic.

I made my call and took off after Dave. Of course, I’d lost sight of him. He had a two minute head start and was flying a dark colored helicopter. I knew he’d be flying low — he and Ray always do — so I figured I’d just stay high. I was approaching Round Mountain near Box Canyon when I tuned into the air-to-air frequency we’d chosen.

“Dave, you up?”

“Yeah. Can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” I relied. “Where are you?”

He told me he was just flying over Ray’s gravel pit, which was out to my left. I couldn’t see him, but I stayed high.

I caught sight of him a few minutes later. “I got you,” I said. “I’ll pull in behind you.”

A few weeks ago, there was a midair collision in Phoenix with two news helicopters crashing into a park. All four people in the two aircraft died. Local helicopter pilots are still pretty shook up over this. I wasn’t flying with anyone unless I could see him.

I dropped down to Dave’s altitude, which was only a few hundred feet off the desert floor. I saw a lot of cows. In the back, Jack was standing up, leaning against the back wall behind the seats. Putting dog hair on the fabric there, I knew.

Dave overflew the ghost town of Octave and then started climbing up the canyon beyond it. I followed. We had a 2,500 foot elevation gain ahead of us to cross over the mountains. Dave took it close to the ground, following the earth up. I flew more conservatively, climbing to maintain a reasonable elevation over the terrain. At one point, my climb rate was 1,000 feet per minute. I realized I was catching up with Dave and reduced power.

Over the mountain, Dave did a pushover into the valley. I can’t do pushovers in my helicopter. Well, not aggressive ones, anyway. No low-G operations permitted. So I dumped the collective and glided down behind him.

Now I’ve been to the cabins about a half dozen times and I’ve always landed in the same spot — a flat spot on the arm of a mountain about 1/10 mile from the cabins. The last time I was there, I set up a line of white rock to mark the spot. But it was also in my GPS. Dave headed toward my spot, then looked as if he was going to land a bit to the east of it. So I moved toward my spot. That’s when Dave realized he had the wrong landing zone and I realized that my landing zone and Dave’s were the same. So I turned 90° and landed on the very edge of my spot, right beside some cacti and bushes where the arm of the mountain drops off. He found a flat spot about 75 feet behind me.

Weaver CabinsA while later, we were down in a canyon beside a spring-fed creek. Flies were biting. We checked out the condition of the larger cabin, then examined the raspberry bushes. We were at least two weeks too late.

It was cool and pleasant in the shade, despite the bugs. I wished I worn long, lightweight pants and hiking shoes. At least I had water.

Jack was having a ball, running around and checking everything out.

Helicopter OutingWe heard an approaching helicopter, then saw Ray circling above the trees. We walked out where he could see us. Although he normally lands in a clearing on the other side of the creek, he found a spot near us. We were back by the helicopters when he shut down. I snapped this photo with my Treo for my TumbleLog. That’s Ray’s Hughes 500D on the right and Daves Hughes 500C on the left with my big fat tail (take it anyway you want) in the foreground.

Ray had two passengers with him and he took them down to see the cabins. He told us that there was a fig tree in a clearing upstream. Figs, of course, are in season right now and everyone loves fresh figs. I still don’t know if he was bullshitting us, but we never found the fig tree and he wouldn’t walk upstream to show us where it was.

On to the Canyon

Dave decided to continue on to his first destination, which was the canyon up near Hillside. One by one, we started off and took off. Ray went first — he wanted to be off the ground before I brought my RPM up to 100% and blew dust into his cockpit. (Both guys fly with all doors off most of the year; I only had one door off because I’ve been flying passengers lately.) Then I went. Then Dave. Ray disappeared quickly. I followed Dave over another mountain and northwest toward Hillside.

I watched Dave fly from my perch about 200 feet above him and 1/4 mile back. He flew close to the ground, following the earth. He’d climb over a small hill and drop down on the other side. I either flew around the little hills or glided over them. I lost him when he reached the boulders west of Hillside, then picked him up again when he climbed into sight for me.

Then he was turning, following a canyon, dropping down even lower.

“Yeah, there isn’t enough room for both of us there,” Dave said into the radio. I looked down and saw Ray parked alongside a stream in the bottom of the canyon.

“Jeez, Ray, there’s barely enough room down there for one.”

“Oh, it’s not that tight,” he told me.

Dave turned and went back downstream. I lost sight of him for a moment, then saw him on a sandbar about 1/4 mile downstream from Ray.

“There’s another sandbar right in front of me,” he told me. “I think there’s room for you.”

But in all honesty the location didn’t seem very appealing to me. It was in full sun and there wasn’t much water flowing. I was wearing Keds, which don’t make very good hiking shoes. And although those guys have more rotor blades than I do, mine are almost twice as long. I needed a good, big spot. I probably could have found one, but I didn’t think it was worth the effort.

Besides, I’d gone to the airport to wash my helicopter and I still had some work waiting for me back in my office.

“I think I’ll just head back,” I told him.

“Are you sure?” Dave asked.

“Yeah. I got work to do. Have fun. Fly safe.”

Ray was still on the radio. “Dave, you on the ground?”

But Dave had either turned off his radio or, more likely, the signal was blocked in the rocky canyon. “He’s on the ground,” I reported. “About a quarter mile downstream. I’ll see you guys later.”

I climbed out and punched Wickenburg Airport into my GPS. I was close to the plane crash site Ray had shown me months ago, but I didn’t overfly it. Instead, I made a beeline back to Wickenburg, by way of Congress. It was a 41 NM flight. I made it in under 30 minutes and set down at the fuel island for more fuel. I’d flown 0.9 hours.

Down to Business

Of course, by that point I was hot and tired. Too tired to wash the helicopter. But I had to get that job done. It was dirty — I’d flown in the rain a few weeks ago and it had gotten badly dusted up at the cabins hours before. My passengers the next day were paying $1,200 for a flight to Meteor Crater and Winslow, AZ (made famous in that Eagle’s song). For that kind of money, they should fly in a clean helicopter.

So I put the helicopter away in the hangar, hopped into the Jeep with Jack the Dog, and drove back to the supermarket. I bought a sandwich, iced tea, and a tapioca pudding and drove back to the airport. I connected my iPod to my boom box, and listened to the last four Grammar Girl podcasts while I ate. Then I tuned in the Future Tense podcast playlist I’d created, rolled the helicopter out, and got down to work.

I hate washing the helicopter on a hot day. The challenge is keeping the water from drying on it before I get a chance to dry it with a towel. My post about washing the helicopter explains the process, so I won’t explain it again here. I will say, however, that I got so hot that I had to hose myself off. Twice. I must have sweat out everything I drank that day.

I put the helicopter back into the hangar and dried it. Then I did some paperwork. Jack hung out under my desk in the back of the hangar. It was too hot, even for him to chase lizards.

Now I’m back in my cool house with a nice cold egg cream in my belly. I’ll shower, put on clean clothes, and get down to the real work.

Chapter 23 awaits completion.

Heli Camping

How to make camping more fun.

It was spring 2006 when my friend Ryan suggested I go with him to the Big Sandy Shoot and give helicopter rides. I didn’t know much about it, but I had nothing else do to that weekend. So I loaded my tent, sleeping bag, and air mattress into my helicopter and followed Ryan’s friend’s Sikorsky S-55 helicopter to the tiny town of Wikieup, about 40 minutes north of Wickenburg on highway 93.

I detail the events of the weekend here.

Helicopter and TentAlthough I did fly into this spot and I did sleep in this tent the night before, I didn’t sleep in this tent where it’s shown in the photo. I moved the tent to take the photo. With a dome tent like this, it’s easy. Just empty it out, pick it up, and put it where you want it. The helicopter was in such a pretty spot and the early morning sunlight make it look really beautiful. Why not take advantage of the light?

I cooked up the photo for possible advertising use. Flying M Air (my helicopter charter company) can do overnight excursions. There’s no reason why we can’t offer heli camping.

But, so far, we just haven’t had any calls for it.

Oh, and for the record, I’ll be back at Wickieup for their autumn (forgive me, Miraz) shoot in October. Anyone want to come along for the ride?

Real Stair Stepping

Exercise for butt sitters.

Before you read this, you must promise you won’t laugh.

Promise? I mean it now. Stop reading if you can’t promise.

Okay, so here’s the deal.

One of the occupational hazards of being a freelance writer is the results of spending long hours sitting on your butt in front of a computer. Like now: I’m spending about 10 hours a day, at least 6 days a week sitting on a padded, armless, wheeled swivel chair in front of my computer, working against time to finish my Leopard book.

(Okay, so right now, I’m not doing that. I’m goofing off by writing this. But you get the idea. And I’m still sitting in the same chair.)

As anyone in their middle years will tell you, lots of inactivity makes it really tough to keep pounds off. And I’ll tell you that for the past year or so, I’ve been adding pounds at the rate of two or three a month. Do the math. The answer is not pretty, especially on my waist, hips, and butt.

So I decided to add some exercise to my day in an effort to get my metabolism up and burn off some of the extra fat. But rather than drop everything and head out to the local gym where I can sweat among strangers and shower in a locker room on the rare instance I’m motivated to get in my car and drive there (which is not often), I decided to do some exercise at home.

I developed an exercise program to integrate into my work day. It includes a number of aerobic activities:

  • Weight lifting. Okay, so I don’t have a universal gym thing or even some weights. But what I do have is approximately 40 pounds of horse poop that has to be lifted off the ground and into a wheeled cart each day. The tool for doing that is a rake that resembles a snow shovel with tines instead of a blade. The motion is repetitive and takes about 10 minutes to complete. The cool down activity consists of rolling the two-wheeled cart down the paved driveway (which has a 25° slope) and 50 feet down a sandy steam bed to the compost pile. The cart must be overturned to be dumped. The wheeled cart (now empty) must come back up that steep driveway to conclude the exercise.
  • Power walking. Okay, so I don’t live anywhere near a track or mall or even a paved road. So I rough it. I walk down my paved driveway and around the edge of my property line, then up the steep (30°) dirt road to its intersection with the closest named road. That’s where my mailbox is. I fetch the previous day’s mail, turn around, and walk back. The challenge on the return trip is not to slip on the loose gravel. Total distance only about 1/4 mile, taking me about 15 minutes to complete the round trip. I do this only once a day. (No reason to walk all the way the hell up there in 100+° heat if there’s no mail to collect, is there?)
  • My StairsStair stepping. Okay, so I don’t have a stair-stepper machine. But I do have stairs. Yes, the real thing. There are 17 of them climbing up to our second floor. I walk up the stairs, make a loop around the coffee table in the room at the top of the stairs, go back downstairs, and make a loop around the living room. Then I do the whole thing again, without pause. Five to 15 times. Every two hours. Yes, it’s aerobic. I’m both out of breath and sweating (in my air conditioned house, mind you) when I’m finished. And I really believe that it’s making a difference, because each time I make a round, I can do one or two more laps. But it has convinced me that if I don’t lose weight soon, I’ll need new knees.

Other things I’m doing: eating smaller portions, eating less junk and more fruits and veggies, drinking a ton of water — in fact, I force myself to drink 12 ounces an hour. (Can I count the trips to the bathroom as part of my exercise routine?)

What else? When I get motivated, I go out walking with my friends Ray and Robbie. They’re in their 70s and walk the same 1.7-miile loop around their neighborhood every evening around sunset (unless there’s “electrical activity,” as Ray puts it). Their neighborhood is nearly deserted this time of year, so I can bring Jack the dog and I don’t have to keep him on a leash. The drawback is the bugs — little biting flies — and the humidity, which must be at least 25% this time of year.

My goal is to lose 30 pounds by March. It’s doable — but only if I keep moving.