I get an email message from someone sounding pretty desperate for a job that isn’t going to help his career move forward.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you should know that I occasionally get email messages or texts so outrageous that I feel a real need to share them here as a lesson to whoever can learn a lesson. (Admittedly, many can’t.)
This is one of those occasions.
The Email Message
Here’s the message that arrived via a Contact link on this blog:
Hey Maria,
How’s it going? I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to reach out because I’m a relatively low-time private pilot with around 400 hours under my belt. I used to own a R22 helicopter for several years, but I actually sold it a couple of years ago.
Recently, I came across an article about cherry picking and it got me thinking. I would love to be considered as a potential candidate to join your team. I’m willing to work for free and cover all my expenses, including food and lodging, until we both agree that I’m ready for the job. I completely understand that you have no obligations or liabilities when it comes to me, and I’ll make sure to have full insurance coverage. My main goal is to become a better pilot and find a true purpose in flying. If you have a moment, I’d appreciate it if you could take a look at my profile here: https://[redacted]. In any case, congratulations on your blog. I absolutely love your lifestyle and it’s truly inspiring.Looking forward to hearing from you.
Take care,
[redacted]
Tearing it Apart
There’s so much wrong with this, that I barely know where to start.
First of all, I have to assume that he means cherry drying and not cherry picking. I don’t do cherry picking. It’s hard work and better left for the professionals. The only cherries I pick are the ones my clients let me pick after they pick. I eat those. It’s one of the perks of the cherry drying business.
But what got me really fired up about this email is this guy’s offer to come here on his dime, cover all his living expenses, and “work for free.” He’s never really clear about what he wants to do, apparently for me, with his uncompensated time, but I have to again assume that it isn’t washing my cars or mowing my lawn. I suspect he wants to be a cherry drying pilot.
Even setting aside his extremely naive belief that a 400-hour R22 helicopter pilot can somehow get insurance to cover him for cherry drying work, the whole email reeks of desperation and ignorance.
Even if I had a helicopter for him to fly — and I definitely do not — what in the world makes him think I’d put him in it? I get first dibs on any idle helicopter that needs flying. And if I had a second spare helicopter, don’t you think I’d look for someone who had some actual experience in that make and model? I wouldn’t even consider using an R22 for cherry drying. It’s just too small.
Maybe he thinks I have a fleet of helicopters just sitting here, waiting for low time pilots to climb on board and fly them. I don’t.
But what tells me he didn’t do his homework was the simple fact that he seems to think that spending a summer as a cherry drying pilot will make him “a better pilot.” How much flying does he think there is? Although he offered “congratulations” on my blog — which turns twenty years old this year in October — he obviously didn’t bother to read much of it. Especially not the posts like this one where I specifically say that drying cherries isn’t for low-time pilots and is not good way to build flying time.
Yes, this is right on the page that he used to contact me. I guess reading the page contents was too much work for this guy looking for a job without pay. (This is a good reminder to update that page; Flying M Air has been sold and I’m retiring at the end of this cherry season.)
And no, I can’t expect him to wade through all 2500+ posts on this blog. Or do a search for “cherry drying” and read the posts that come up. Or click the cherry drying tag in the sidebar to quickly see posts tagged that way. But I seriously doubt he did more than watch a YouTube video of me drying cherries, find my blog, and click the Contact link to share his ridiculous offer with me. (He apparently didn’t read the paragraphs on that page regarding Career Advice and Pilot jobs, either.) He’s not the first lazy, ignorant job hunter I’ve encountered but I’m hoping that he’ll be the last.
Do I sound unreasonably harsh? Well, all I can say is what the fuck? I remember what I went through to get the various jobs I’ve had in my lifetime. Emailing someone with an offer to work for free at a job that doesn’t exist and that I don’t quality for anyway was never in my game plan. I have a whole series of posts titled “So You Want to Be a Helicopter Pilot.” Maybe he should start by reading those?
Stop Working for Free
But all of the above is not the purpose of this post. The purpose is to remind people that they should never offer to do a job for free.
No, I’m not talking about volunteering at the local Food Bank or Habitat project or any other charity operation. I’m talking about working for free — especially using highly specialized skills that you acquired at the cost of your time and money — for a for-profit business. Like a helicopter charter or agriculture company.
Believe me, companies have enough money to pay employees. If a company does not have enough money to pay its employees, it’s not a company you want to work for.
Any company that takes advantage of people offering to work for free — especially if that includes covering their own expenses — is not a company that you want to work for.
I firmly believe that everyone should be compensated for their work at for-profit organizations. That goes for pilots, writers, photographers, and any other job that takes a person’s time and effort or makes use of something that person created. Harlan Ellison said it best, and I know I’ve linked to this video more than once. Watch the video. Understand what he’s saying.
When you work for free, you tell people that your work is worthless. It’s not worth paying for. Is that the message you want to send? Do you expect to work for free for your entire life? That’s the path you set yourself on when you work for free.
Just stop it.
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Sorry you’re (still) getting harassed by people who ignore your very clear guidelines.
But oh so glad to read that you’re still alive and kicking.
Kicking, for sure!
I had a busy month but I’m putting myself on a schedule that will include at least 3 hours a day in front of a computer. Right now, I’m just catching up with accounting paperwork and venting. I hope to get back to that Great Loop blog later in the week.
Also, not really harassment as much as an exercise in eye-rolling. The beauty of email, texts, and even phone calls that don’t ring when you don’t know the caller is that they’re very easy to ignore and delete.
Feels like a scam. You gave it more attention than it deserved.
No, I don’t think it was a scam. I do get emails like this, although I haven’t gotten any in a while. I did get a phone call earlier this year similar to this.
But who knows?
Cheers to your Misunderstanding!
Dear Maria Langer,
I must express my utmost gratitude for your thoughtful and considerate response to my previous email. Your eloquent use of words, such as “absurd” and “ignorant,” truly showcased your remarkable understanding of the situation. I am in awe of your ability to summarize the definition of ignorance, as if it were a revelation exclusive to your esteemed self.
Indeed, your expertise in cherry drying/cherry picking is unparalleled. How could I dare approach you, a fountain of wisdom, with my naive offer to work for free? Clearly, my intention was not to seek knowledge or gain experience but to burden you with my pitiful presence. Please accept my humblest apologies for mistakenly assuming that someone as experienced as yourself could possibly spare a moment to share their expertise.
I must admit, you have effortlessly unraveled the complexities of my mind with your astute observations. It is a testament to your remarkable deductive abilities that you deduced my desperation for a job from my audacious proposal to work without compensation. My attempt to cover all my expenses, including renting a helicopter, was merely an expression of my extravagant lifestyle choices. How could you not see that?
Oh, but my mention of the R22 was indeed misleading, wasn’t it? How foolish of me to expect you to possess the intelligence to understand that I didn’t exclusively fly the R22. It was a mere oversight on my part, assuming that someone of your stature would have the wit to comprehend such nuances.
I am deeply humbled by the notion that you took time out of your undoubtedly busy schedule to assume my career aspirations. Rest assured, I am fully aware of the insurmountable gap between your expertise and my lowly ambitions. Who am I to dream of pursuing a purposeful career in cherry drying when I could be doing much grander things like being an entrepreneur, investor, board member, and philanthropist? Alas, you are right once again, English is not my first language, and I apologize for my lack of precision. Clearly, I should have realized that such an oversight on my part would leave you with no choice but to form unfounded opinions and assumptions about me. If only I had possessed the wisdom to anticipate your need for more information.
In conclusion, Maria, I must express my sincerest gratitude for your unwavering judgment and impeccable decision-making skills. It is truly a privilege to be graced by your presence. If, by any chance, you still harbor an ounce of curiosity about my intentions, please feel free to ask, and I shall endeavor to enlighten you.
Yours,
M
What really amazes me here is how I successfully masked your identity in my blog post to spare you embarrassment but you thought it was important to whip out your thesaurus and hit me with as much sarcasm as your keyboard would take, taking care to sign your name to it so everyone knows what immature nincompoop is capable of such poor judgement. And it’s funny: I was told by another commenter that I wasted my time writing the blog post. Not nearly as much time as you likely wasted composing your response to it.
I admit that I initially marked it as spam and was not going to allow you to share your foolishness. But hey — why stop you?
Do you think I care what you or anyone else thinks of me? Newsflash: I don’t. Life’s too short to worry about idiots and their opinions. If you actually read any of this blog, you’d get a notion of that. But heck, just “congratulate” me for having it and it’s all good.
Grow up.