I try out my canvas shopping bag and get the discount, without saying a word.

I went shopping at the Grand Canyon Market in Tusayan the other day. I brought along my special local discount canvas shopping bag.

Allow me to regress. The bag is not made of canvas. It’s made of recycled soda bottles that have somehow been spun into thread and woven into fabric. If I understand this correctly, this means my bag is not biodegradable. It will last forever.

Of course, being a used bag that has obviously seen the inside of a coin-operated washing machine, it is pilled. I’ve never seen a pilled soda bottle, but there it is.

I walked over to the checkout counter and unloaded my milk and junk food selections onto the counter. I placed the canvas bag beside them. When the woman appeared to be ignoring it, I shifted its position, making sure she saw the green labeling that clearly identified it as the special bag. She continued loading groceries into plastic bags. I started loading groceries into the pseudo-canvas bag. For a moment, we competed to load groceries. She won. More groceries were in plastic than pseudo-canvas. I guess I’ll never have a career as a grocery bagger.

The total came to $25 and change, but she pressed a few keys and it dropped down to $19 and change. I think some of those keys were to remove the Pop Tarts she’d charged me twice for. But the other keys were for the whopping 10% discount I was entitled to as the owner of a special local discount pseudo canvas shopping bag. I paid with a $20 bill and actually got some change.

Wow.

Now where’s the laundromat?