Tag Archives: humor

Dealing with a Craig’s List Scammer

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I kept this clown on the hook for nearly 45 minutes by pretending I didn’t understand his instructions.

I use Craig’s List extensively when I need to get rid of things. I’ve found that if something has any value at all and you put it on Craig’s List for free, you can get rid of it quickly — often the same day.

Yesterday, I placed an ad to get rid of the dozen or so wooden pallets I’d collected over the years. I used to build things with them, but I’ve since found alternative building materials. I’d like to get rid of these and I’d prefer not to burn them (although I will if they’re not gone by next week).

Pallets, All Different Sizes (Malaga)

I have about a dozen pallets in all different sizes that I no longer need. Come and take them away. Bring a truck and a friend to help you move them. Text me for the address and availability. I cannot hold any pallets so please do not text until you are ready to come.

Pallets for Sale
Here are two of the pallets that have to go this spring. I saved the rotor blades to use as a decoration but they’re so damn heavy I can’t work with them alone. For the right price, they could be yours!

I included photos of a bunch of pallets, including the one my old rotor blades are lying across. I used that as the primary image, figuring it would get people’s attention. (And maybe someone would be interested in buying those old blades.)

Scammer 2
This is my entire conversation with the second scammer. He caught on when either I didn’t ask any questions or he couldn’t send the code.

The scam texts began within 15 minutes. There were two scammers on this one, but the second one gave up pretty quick. The first one, however, really thought he had a live one on the line and was very persistent. He kept at it until he finally figured it out — after about 40 minutes of texting back and forth with me.

Sample Link
Here’s an example of a “verification” text I got from a scammer last month. I’ve since blocked that source number. Do not try to open that link.

Let me start by explaining the scam. The scammer poses as a buyer who really wants the merchandise but needs to “verify” me. He does this by sending me a code that looks like it’s coming from Google. It comes from a different phone number and has two parts: a six digit number and a shortened link. Although they usually ask for the code — which is right there — what they seem to really want is for you to click the link. I can only assume it does something nefarious, like install malware on your device. I’m not dumb enough to click links from strangers (and you shouldn’t be, either).

Apparently, last month after dealing with a few of these, I blocked the number that sends the link. This makes it impossible for the scammers to send me that text message. The first guy, as you’ll read below, tried hard to get another phone number from me to send that code to. I played him as long as I could. The first guy gave up right away, as you can see in the screen shot above.

For your reading pleasure, here’s the complete exchange between Scammer #1 and me. I have not masked his phone number because it’s likely spoofed or from a burn phone anyway. I wouldn’t call it if I were you. Note that every time he sends a question mark by itself (?), it’s because I’m taking too long to reply.

5035062063:
I want to buy ”Pallets, all different sizes ” Is it available?

Maria Langer:
They’re free. Come get them.

5035062063:
Ok, right now I will send a verification code. The code proves that you are real person and your post is real.Now I send the code?

Maria Langer:
Sure. Go ahead.

5035062063:
Opps.Your number is not accepted this code.Do you have another cell phone number?

Maria Langer:
Nope.

5035062063:
Please try to give me another cell phone number.

Maria Langer:
Nope.

5035062063:
You can use your anyone cell phone number for this verification.
??
Please try to give me another cell phone number.Because I want to try again.

Maria Langer:
I don’t have another number.

5035062063:
So give me another cell phone number of those who around you.

Maria Langer:
There’s nobody around me. We are social distancing here.

5035062063:
So contact someone then send me their number.

Maria Langer:
Why would I do that?

5035062063:
Because The verification code is very important for our safety.

Maria Langer:
I won’t hurt you. In fact, I’ll stay inside while you pick them up.

5035062063:
Its ok, Now try to send give me a cell phone number
You can use anyone cell phone number for this verification.

Maria Langer:
I told you I don’t have another cell phone number.

5035062063:
You can use your family members phone number.

Maria Langer:
You mean like my sister’s?

5035062063:
Yeah, Anyone.

Maria Langer:
But my sister lives in Kansas. How will that help me here? [Note: My sister does not live in Kansas.]

5035062063:
I will send a code to her number. Then send me back the code. Its very simple.
?

Maria Langer:
But she’s at work. I don’t wanna bother her.

5035062063:
You can use your friends phone number.

Maria Langer:
But my friends aren’t here.
Why can’t you just use my number? It works fine! You’re using it now.

5035062063:
No problem call him,

Maria Langer:
Call who?

5035062063:
Call your friend and send me number

Maria Langer:
What number? Do you know my friend?

5035062063:
No. I just use for verification,

Maria Langer:
I don’t understand. You sent a verification code to my friend? How do you know his number? I thought you were going to send it to my sister?

5035062063:
OK give me any number

Maria Langer:
But you have my number.

5035062063:
Your number is not working. So give me your friend or sisters number.
Your number is not working. So give me your friend or sisters number.

Maria Langer:
My number works fine. We’ve been texting on it this whole time!

5035062063:
But not working for code

Maria Langer:
Maybe the code is broken.
?
Did you try again?
Oh, come on! Let’s keep playing! My twitter friends are really enjoying this! 🤣

5035062063:
fuck off

Maria Langer:
lol! Wasted 45 minutes of your day. Sucker!!!

I should mention here that while this was going on, I was working in my yard. I did some weeding and hedge trimming and spread some weed and feed on my lawn. He waited while I did these things, responding almost immediately each time I texted him back — like he was waiting for me. So it didn’t take up much of my time but did take up 45 minutes of his.

As Bugs Bunny would say, “What a maroon.” (Google it.)

A Third Party Worth Considering in 2012

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Now this is a third-party candidate that makes sense for America.

Thank to Jim Wright of Stonekettle Station for sharing a link to this great video on YouTube. Really gives you some food for thought, eh?

Hello, My F-ing Name is Maria

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My submission to “Hello, My Fucking Name Is…”

Today I discovered Hello, My Fucking Name Is…, a website that offers people a chance to explain what their name is and how people get it wrong. From the Why This Site page:

This site is a joke, but the topic is serious

Crafting our personal identities is a lifelong process on which we spend quite a lot of time and attention. So then why is it that people can be so damn casual about paying attention to people’s names? In my four decades of living, I’ve been called more than 11 different names—and I’m sorry to say that not one of them is an ACTUAL variation on my name…

Submitting your story is as easy as clicking a button and filling in a form. Your submission is moderated — probably for spam, certainly not for language. The stories there are pretty funny expressions of people’s frustration of other people getting their name wrong.

You may think it odd, but people get my name wrong all the time. Seriously. So I decided to write up my own submission. It’s in moderation there now, but here’s what I submitted.

My name is Maria. Not Marie. Not Mary. And, for Pete’s sake clean out your f-ing ears, not Gloria.

My name is not Marie. The only Marie in my family was my uncle’s wife. They got divorced. She stole heirloom items from my grandparents estate that should have gone to my sister, brother, and me. She has liens against her that come up every time I try to buy or sell a property. I hate her, I hate her name. When you call me Marie, you remind me of her and that pisses me off. I’ll allow you to do it one time — because most people do — and if you do it again, I will correct you. Firmly. If you do it a third time, after being corrected, I will ignore you since you so obviously ignored me. My name is not Marie.

I was named after my grandmother. Her legal name was Maria. Just because people called her Mary don’t think you can call me Mary. You can’t. My name is not Mary.

If you think I introduced myself as Gloria, you should see a doctor about your obvious hearing problem. My name is not Gloria.

Yes, I realize that when you meet me for the first time, you might have an uncontrollable urge to sing, “I just met a girl named Maria.” Control that urge. I’ve heard it too many times for it to be even remotely funny anymore. All it does is make you sound like an asshole. Especially if you have a crappy singing voice.

You can also skip singing My Maria, Ave Maria, Take a Letter Maria, and How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria. Give it a rest already.

And one more thing. Just because my name is Maria and I live in Arizona, don’t look so surprised when you meet me in person and I don’t look the least bit Mexican. I’m not Mexican. My mother’s side of my family immigrated from Italy — not Mexico — in a time when it was still socially acceptable to immigrate into the United States from another country. Deal with it.

The other entries might be shorter, but they’re mostly in the same vein. Check them out. I think you’ll find them amusing. I did.