Day 5 on Google Earth

I really am a first order geek.

I recently wrote a lengthy account of my “Big September Gig,” in which I spent six days flying around northeastern Arizona with a team of 15 or so Russian photographers. You can read the first part of the story here.

On Day 5, I flew from Monument Valley to Shiprock Airport to Farmington Airport, by way of the San Juan River. What I didn’t mention in my account of that flight is that I had my GPS on and running, creating a track log of the trip. (Geek alert!)

Today, I was reading messages in an aerial photography forum I follow. One of the members, in an answer to another member, mentioned a Mac OS program called GPSPhotoLinker, which can link photographs to GPS data. I figured I’d pull the data off the GPS and record the coordinates of a photo location in the photo’s EXIF tags.

GPSPhotoLinkerI sucked the data off the GPS in Mac OS with a one-trick pony program called LoadMyTracks, which saves in both the GPX format I needed for GPSPhotoLinker and KML (Google Earth) format. I brought the file into TextWrangler, my text editor of choice, and deleted all the unnecessary data to trim down the file. Then I loaded it into GPSPhotoLinker, pointed the software to a folder containing the 18 or so photos I’d taken during the flight, and sat back to watch the results.

Disappointment. The clock on the damn camera was wrong. Since the software uses time to match coordinates with photos, there were no matches. I have to reset the clock on the camera — preferably with my computer so the time is right — and try again on another trip. But this gives me a geeky project to work on. (As if I needed another one.) When I get it all working smoothly, you’ll probably find an article about it here.

Google EarthAnyway, there is a side benefit to this. I also ran the KML version of the file though Google Earth. If you haven’t wasted time with Google Earth, you’re missing out on a great time-sucking experience. Without going into a full blown description or review, I’ll just say that you can take a GPS track, like the one from my trip, and open it in Google Earth. You can then do a “tour” that follows the track just like you’re flying along with me (but at least 3000 feet higher). If you’ve got nothing better to do, give it a try.

Fire Hazard Weather

High wind and dry conditions are a bad mix.

I’ve been watching the northwestern Arizona weather carefully for the past few days, checking National Weather Service forecasts for Wickenburg (where I live) and Kingman. I had a flying gig at Wickieup this weekend and although I didn’t expect much revenue from it, it was an opportunity for Mike and I to escape home responsibilities for a few days and camp out with some extremely unusual folks. Wickieup is 2/3 of the way between Wickenburg and Kingman, so I figured that if I extrapolated between the two, I’d get a good forecast.

The forecast wasn’t good. It called for high winds — 30 mph or more — on Saturday and Sunday. Although I have flown (and I suppose I will fly) in winds up to 50 mph (not recommended, folks), the landing zone in Wickieup is on a narrow ridge with one way in and out while the event was going on. If the wind was coming from the northwest, I’d be operating with a tailwind, which is always a bad idea when you have a heavy load at 4,000+ feet elevation. The area is very mountainous, so all that wind going over the mountains would make for a rough ride. The end result: me operating in marginal conditions to give my passengers rides that they might not enjoy.

Since I’m just coming off a month-long period of heavy flying — I flew about 50 hours in the past 30 days — I decided that it just wasn’t worth it to spend the weekend. So we flew up for the day, did a few rides, watched the activities — more on that in another post — and flew home.

When we got home, I checked the weather again, mostly to make sure I’d made the right decision about the weekend. (I had.) The Wickenburg weather forecast included something I’d never seen before: a Fire Hazard Watch. Here’s what it said when I checked it again this morning:

...FIRE WEATHER WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM LATE TONIGHT THROUGH SUNDAY EVENING DUE TO STRONG AND GUSTY NORTH WINDS AND LOW RELATIVE HUMIDITY..

A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM IS DEVELOPING OVER THE WESTERN STATES THIS MORNING. THE COLD FRONT ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SYSTEM WAS LOCATED IN NEVADA AND WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE SOUTHWARD TODAY AND TONIGHT. SUSTAINED NORTH WINDS OF 20 TO 30 MPH WITH HIGHER GUSTS APPROACHING 45 MPH MAY DEVELOP ON SUNDAY. IN ADDITION...VERY LOW RELATIVE HUMIDITY CAN BE EXPECTED. THE COMBINATION OF STRONG WINDS AND VERY LOW HUMIDITY MAY CREATE HAZARDOUS FIRE WEATHER CONDITIONS.

(Sorry about the ALL CAPS, but that’s the way they publish them.)

This warning just emphasizes how dry it can be here in the desert. I can’t remember the last time it rained here — maybe a month ago? We have plenty of stretches where it doesn’t rain for two or more months. Not long ago, Phoenix had a record 143-day dry spell. That’s almost 5 months!

The weather, in case you’re wondering, is almost always clear here, with bright blue skies. During our dry season — which is 8 to 10 months out of the year — there are rarely any clouds at all. Sure it’s beautiful, but it gets a bit tedious at times. You find yourself wishing for some cloud activity. You find yourself wishing for rain.

Right now, there’s a fire burning north of Wickenburg, although I’m not sure exactly where. We saw the smoke as we flew home from Wickieup. I have a feeling it’s somewhere southwest of Williams, AZ, perhaps in the Big Chino Wash area. There was another one burning southeast of Flagstaff when I flew back from Flag with passengers last Friday. In this dryness, it doesn’t take much to get a fire going. And when the wind kicks up, a small fire can quickly turn into an out-of-control blaze.

Yet people will continue to toss their cigarette butts out their car windows as they drive on highways and back roads. I can see the results of their carelessness as I fly around the state. Acres and acres burned east of Vulture Mine Road just south of Wickenburg. More burned along I-40, I-10, I-17, and SR-89. Signs up and down the highways proclaim Fire Danger Extreme, but no one stops to think of the consequences of a tiny cigarette butt or the sparks from an ATV or dirt bike. Those signs are for other people.

While I don’t expect a fire to break out in the area this weekend, I hope one doesn’t. If it does, with the high winds that are expected, we could get clouds — clouds of smoke.

Is Social Networking Sucking Your Life Away?

An honest cost-benefit analysis can help you decide.

I participate in Twitter. I also participate on LinkedIn and RedBubble. And I have accounts on My Space, Facebook, Technorati, Del.icio.us, StumbleUpon, Pownce, Flicker and a number of others I can’t remember. (I occasionally sign up for a “new” account, only to find that I already have one. Oops!)

Note here that I make a distinction between participate in and have accounts on. The social networking sites I participate in are the ones I use regularly. The ones I have accounts on are ones I’ve tried but don’t actively use. And then there are the ones I’ve tried and deleted accounts from. (My recent experience with Spock comes to mind.) I’ve actually deleted more social networking accounts than I actively participate in.

But I know many, many people who actively participate in multiple social networking sites. And I have just two questions for these people:

  • How?
  • Why?

How Do they Do It?

I don’t know about you, but in my universe, a day has 24 hours. Of those 24, I throw away 6 to 8 by sleeping. I spend another 4 to 6 doing “life maintenance” tasks like eating, bathing, socializing with my household’s members (husband, parrot, dog, and horses) and friends, and keeping my house clean. Then figure another 4 to 12 hours doing the work that pays the bills.

What’s left? Not much.

So how are people finding the time to participate in all these social networks?

My participation in Twitter is well-integrated into my lifestyle. Twitterific is open on my computers’ desktops. (And no, that’s not a typo. It’s open on all of my computers’ desktops.) Throughout the day, I receive tweets from the 30 or so Twitter members I follow and send my own tweets out into the ether. Occasionally, a conversation will start up between me and another member, but it usually consists of no more than two or three tweets on either side. And it isn’t as if the conversation is live. Sometimes a fellow twitterer will ask me a question and I won’t see it for an hour or two, when I’ll finally answer it. It’s not like I sit there watching Twitterific. I don’t. And when I’m away from my desk or computer, I’ll occasionally tweet from the field using the SMS capabilities of my Treo. I do this most often when I’m on the road, but I occasionally do it when I’m in the middle of something and have a few spare minutes. I hate doing nothing and these tweets often give me something to do.

My participation in LinkedIn is less active. I basically check in once a week or so, just to see if any of my contacts have added contacts that I know. If so, I attempt to add them. Once in a while, I’ll update my profile or write up a recommendation for one of my contacts. Or ask for a recommendation.

RedBubble sees me even less frequently. Although I started out visiting every morning for one to two hours, I soon realized that I was wasting my time there. RedBubble, in case you’re not familiar with it, is a social networking site for artists, photographers, and (supposedly) writers. Members post their work. Artwork can often be purchased. But I soon learned that the kind of artistic people who actively participate in online social networking do so only so they get positive feedback on the work they’ve posted. There’s not much “social” about it. So I stopped wasting my time and now use RedBubble solely to get extremely high quality cards and prints of my own photographs. (Seriously, RedBubble is the best. I challenge anyone to find a better source for printing photography in a variety of formats.)

Note that I used the phrase “stopped wasting my time.” I stopped wasting my time with most of the other social networking sites, too. I simply wasn’t getting enough benefit from these sites to make it worth the time I was spending there.

Yet so many people make the time. Where do they get it from? Do they simply neglect the other parts of their lives? Which ones? Sleeping? Life maintenance? Real socializing with friends and family members?

How do they do it?

Why Do They Do It?

But perhaps the real question is why they do it. What benefit do people get from online social networking?

As you may have guessed, I haven’t seen much benefit to the sites I don’t actively participate in. I have my own Web site (you’re on it, unless you’re reading this in a feed reader or yet another splog has stolen my content), so I have my own forum for sharing thoughts, photos, etc. That means I don’t need MySpace or Facebook. I simply don’t have time to surf the Web for interesting content, so I don’t need Technorati, Del.icio.us, or StumbleUpon. My photos are on my site or on RedBubble, where they can be purchased as high-quality products, so I don’t need Flicker. Pownce is simply a prettier version of Twitter with a few extra bells and whistles, but I like Twitter and since I use the Twitterific interface for following tweets, I don’t care how unattractive Twitter’s interface is.

As for the social networking sites I do participate in, I see definite benefits to my participation and those benefits outweigh the cost in my [very valuable, at least to me] time.

Take, for example, Twitter. Being a writer is a lonely occupation, since it doesn’t involve working directly with people throughout the writing process. In fact, it’s better when there isn’t anyone around. So imagine me at my desk working 12-hour days to finish a book on time. I have some music on and my parrot is chattering away in the next room. I’m creating screenshots and laying out pages, and editing the last edition’s text so it applies to this version of the software. I need a break, I feel like being part of the world, at least for a few minutes. So I switch to the Twitterific window and see what my Twitter friends have been up to. Suddenly, I’m not alone. I’m part of an active, current world. I see news tweets from CNN when something major has occurred (although I really don’t give shit about O.J. and can’t understand why CNN is determined to keep it in the news). I see tweets about lunch and meetings and work activities and family interaction. I’m alone in my office, yet I’m part of a bigger picture and that picture is live.

I’ve also made friends on Twitter. Not people I’ve met in person — at least not yet. But people I can turn to if I have a question or even chat with. Yesterday, I called Francine Hardaway, one of my Twitter friends, on the phone to get her impressions on social networking. She’s extremely involved in online social networking — she tweets about it all the time — and I thought she might reveal something about it that I could be missing. What I discovered is that she uses Twitter for pretty much the same reason I do. And she’s involved with many of the other social networking sites to stay in tune with what younger, technology-saavy people are doing and thinking. This helps her with her work as an entrepreneurial consultant.

What’s neat about Twitter is that it attracts people from all over the world. I think I have more Twitter friends in the U.K., Australia, and New Zealand than in the U.S. It’s interesting to observe how they come and go throughout the day. Andy, who is in the U.K., is just finishing up his work day as I start mine. Miraz, in New Zealand, is getting to work as I break for lunch. Twitter is a big picture of the world and I find it fascinating and well worth the time I put into it.

I wish I could say the same about LinkedIn. Although the concept is a good idea, its feature set is somewhat limited by the site developers’ desire to monetize it. So the really useful features are reserved for paying members. And frankly, I don’t think they’re worth paying for. What’s left is a true networking site where you have to already have a relationship or link to a member before you can be directly linked. That keeps spammers and “friend collectors” (as you might find on Twitter, Facebook, etc.) in check.

While you think that a professional networking site like this — after all, it’s based on working relationships — might result in work leads and jobs, it doesn’t. Not for me, not for any of my LinkedIn connections. Yet people spend hours and hours on LinkedIn, answering questions posted by other members, searching for jobs, requesting recommendations, fine-tuning their connection lists. For what? I don’t know. Although I haven’t entirely written it off, it certainly isn’t worth more time than I already put into it: perhaps 2 to 4 hours a month.

N630ML at Norquist'sRedBubble, as I already mentioned, has just one benefit for me: the ability to get very high quality prints of my own photos. I’ve used it recently to create a package of photo cards to give as a gift to passengers on Flying M Air‘s Southwest Circle Helicopter Adventure. The quality is something I can be proud to hand out as a gift. In fact, I recently had cards made as a gift for a friend who allowed me to land my helicopter in her yard so photographer Jon Davison could get photos of the helicopter and a really neat looking house. So my time spent on RedBubble these days is solely to upload photos and place orders.

I should mention here that I also use Del.icio.us. The emphasis is on the word use. I have a Del.icio.us bookmark in my browser that creates a Del.icio.us bookmark for pages I like. I never view the resulting list. Instead, Del.icio.us automatically generates a page full of my new links each day and posts them to my site.

But what about the other online social networking sites out there? Why are people using them? What benefit are they receiving? Is it worth the time they’re putting into it?

Don’t Let It Suck Your Life Away

I’ve been saying the same thing for years now, but I need to keep saying it.

Computers are a great tool and the Internet gives us easy and often exciting new ways to interact with other people. But there’s far more to life than what you see on a computer screen. The hours you spend in front of a computer are the hours you’re not participating in real life, building the relationships and memories and skills you’ll cherish for a lifetime.

So here’s what I’d like you (yes, you) to do. The next time you sit down for a session on Facebook or Flicker or [fill-in-the-blank], note the time you got started. Then, when you’re finished, note the time you stopped. Then think about that time and how you might have spent it better with your spouse or kids or best friend in the park or at a ball game or sitting around the kitchen table in conversation. Or doing something else that you enjoy or that can make you or your relationship with other people better. Then think about all the hours you spent at that social networking activity and imagine all those hours spent doing something better.

Don’t you think that might make your life better?

People often ask me how I do so much. My stock answer is that I don’t watch television. But the other answer is that I try not to waste time online.

And with that said, it’s time to get to work for the day.

What Do You Think?

I know you participate in online social networking. Why not answer my two questions — how and why? — in the Comments for this post? Perhaps you’ll be the one to explain what I’m missing. Use the Comments link or form for this post to get started.

The Big September Gig, Day Six

One last photo flight and the long flight home.

I was ready to go in the lobby with my luggage at 6 AM the next morning. The motel — like most “standard” motels these days — offered a free breakfast. It was the usual collection of high-carb breakfast junk food and juice from concentrate. I was nursing a cup of weak coffee at 6:30 AM when Mike appeared. After loading the SUV with luggage and waiting while the two of them had a cigarette, we headed back to the airport.

We pulled the left side doors off the helicopter and stowed them in their SUV, which they parked alongside a hangar nearby. Then I fired up the helicopter and started the warmup process. It was cold that morning — 37° F — and my papered aircraft usually doesn’t like starting on cold mornings after spending the night outdoors. But that morning it started right up, ready for more.

The Flight

Dawn broke through a layer of haze as we started off toward Shiprock. Suddenly, my passengers were in a hurry. With doors off, my speed was limited to 100 knots, but I used it all and got out there just as the light was getting good.

We made several slow flights over the north-south ridge line, as close to the ridge as I dared, so they could shoot up the ridge with Shiprock in the background. With each pass, we got closer to the peak. The shadows from the ridge and peak were long but got shorter with every pass.

As Mike snapped photos, he made lots of ooh and aah sounds, punctuated occasionally with a soft wow. At one point, he showed me the image in the LCD panel of his camera. Wow was an understatement. I’m hoping he shares a lo-res copy of the image with me so I can put it here.

We kept at it for quite some time. Then they told me to head on back to Farmington. As we neared the airport, they shot a few more images of the town — mostly fields alongside the river. The tower cleared me to land and I set down on the pad. Then it was over.

Getting Ready for Departure

We put the doors back on and loaded in my luggage. We said some parting words, and shared hugs. I handed over the piece of paper I’d been using to keep track of all the flight times. Mike passes my costs along to his passengers based on the amount of time each of them flew and I’d been keeping meticulous records for him for the past six days.

They drove off and I placed my fuel order with the FBO girl, who was still on duty. She gave me a lift back to the FBO office so I could use the facilities and settle my bill. When she dropped me off at the helicopter again, I handed over a pair of tens: one for her and one for the previous day’s FBO guy.

A while later, I was in the air, heading southwest.

If you look at a Denver sectional — which is where you’ll find Farmington and the area around it — and you trace a route that’ll bring you toward the Phoenix area (on the Phoenix sectional), you’ll soon find that there isn’t much in the way of airports between the two points. I estimated the flight at just under 3 hours which I should be able to do with the full tanks of fuel I had on board. But having come close to running out of fuel on long trips across open desert before, I wasn’t planning on doing it in one shot. I wanted a fuel stop. That meant stopping at Winslow.

But how to get there? I wasn’t interested in overflying the Chuska Mountains. It was getting windy and I simply didn’t feel like being tossed around while I climbed over 8,000 foot peaks. If I went around to the north, I’d overfly Chinle. If I went around to the south, I’d overfly Window Rock. I chose south.

Empty Rez HomeI don’t remember too much about the flight. I know that the first 40 to 50 minutes was spent flying first across some half-neglected farmland and then over relatively flat open and deserted desert. One highlight was seeing a pretty large herd of sheep being tended by a single dog; when he heard me coming, he rounded all the sheep up into a frantic group. After that, I got my camera ready for other photo ops. But the only interesting things I passed were the remains of old hogans or corrals.

Empty Rez HomeYes, I was still on the Rez. The Navajo reservation, as I’ve said earlier in this narrative, is huge. I was flying from near its most northeastern point (Farmington) to near its most southwestern point (near Flagstaff). It would take me about an hour and a half just to make that flight.

Empty Rez HomeI rounded the southern end of the Chuska Mountains and adjusted my course slightly to the west to overfly Window Rock. I started to climb. The terrain below me was rising with tall pines all around. The few homes I flew over looked more like winter residences than year-round homes.

A few very interesting rock formations appeared just outside of Window Rock. I tried to get photos but discovered that my camera’s card was filled. (I’d left photos on it from a previous trip when I started this one and didn’t even know it.) I managed to delete a photo (while I was flying!) so I could take one as I came into town.

Window Rock, AZ

Then I was over Window Rock, which is named for a huge hole in a rock on the north side of town. The government offices are built nearby it and there’s a park so you can walk right up to the formation. I’d been there on the ground when visiting the Navajo Nation County Fair in previous years. This time, I saw it but couldn’t snap a photo. How annoying!

I reprogrammed my GPS for my next waypoint: Winslow and made a slight course adjustment. For a while, I continued flying over tall pines. Then the terrain started to slope down and the pines faded away. I fumbled with my charts to switch to the right area on the Phoenix sectional. Although I was using a GPS for navigation, it’s always a good idea to know where you are on a sectional. I used landmarks such as powerlines and roads to track my route. Soon I was in the painted desert, flying between low buttes in an almost barren terrain.

As I neared Winslow, I tuned into its frequency. A helicopter was just departing to the south. An airplane was on its way in. I saw the Little Colorado River’s green belt and the town beyond it. A while later, I was landing on the ramp.

Oil Leak and a Long Walk

The first thing I noticed after shutting down were the spots of oil all over the ground under the helicopter. Oil from the helicopter.

Now I’d been noticing a higher-than-usual oil consumption during the past few days. I’d also been noticing more oil than usual in the engine compartment, which I try to keep clean. I’d been at a complete loss as to exactly where the oil was coming from. There wasn’t so much oil that it was a serious problem. It was more of an annoyance. Something to get looked at but not something to stop flying over. After all, it was holding enough oil to keep gauges in the green.

I called Ed, my Wickenburg (engine) mechanic and talked to him about it. Could he look at it as soon as I came in? I had a 6-day excursion coming up on Sunday (four days away) and would be in deep doo-doo if I couldn’t do it. He promised to check it out when I flew in.

I went with the FBO guy to the FBO office and put in a fuel order to top off the tanks. The girl at the counter ordered a cab to take me into town. The cab dispatcher said it would be 15 minutes.

I plugged my iPod’s charger into an outlet at the FBO office. (Guess I didn’t mention that I’d been listening to music during the entire flight. The iPod connects to the helicopter’s intercom system so it automatically cuts out when someone comes on the radio.) Then I used the restroom and stepped outside to wait. It was 9:45 AM, back on MST. (I was off the Rez.) A beautiful day with light winds. I waited.

And waited.

After about 15 minutes, I called the cab company to see what the status was.

“I told her it would be a while,” the woman snapped at me.

“Well, it’s a nice day so I’m going to start walking,” I told her. “So if you see someone walking on the side of the road toward town, it’s me. You can pick me up where you find me and take me the rest of the way.”

“I have two other people in front of you,” she said.

“Fine,” I replied.

We hung up and I started walking.

You can probably figure out the rest. I walked all the way into town. It’s about a 2-mile walk and I can’t say it’s very interesting. But the weather was nice and I can use the exercise. I just wish I was wearing my walking shoes instead of those damn Keds. They’re simply not designed for long distance walking.

By the time I got to La Posada — 45 minutes after I’d started walking — I was hot and a bit cranky. They sat me at a table near the window so I could look out over the gardens and the train tracks. I ordered eggs on polenta with green sauce — my favorite breakfast there — and started tanking up on iced tea. Then I paid my bill and went to the hotel desk to see if they could call a different cab company to pick me up.

The girl at the desk offered to run me over to the airport. We had a nice drive and, at the end, I gave her the money I would have given the cab driver. “Lunch on me,” I told her. That was two fares the cab company lost that day.

The Last Leg

I settled my bill with the FBO and walked out to the helicopter. The oil problem didn’t seem any worse, so it evidently leaked only when the engine was running. I added a quart of oil, did a quick preflight to make sure I wasn’t missing anything obvious, and climbed on board. Then I started up, warmed up, and headed southeast toward Sedona.

Although a straight-line route would have taken me south of Sedona, it also would have kept me away from any airport that I could have used if the oil leak started giving me bad indications — like loss in oil pressure or increase in oil temperature. So I chose a route that put several airports within range: Flagstaff, Sedona, Cottonwood, Prescott. I didn’t actually overfly any of these places. I just kept them within a short flight distance in case I felt a need to land. Sure, you can land a helicopter almost anywhere, but landing in the middle of nowhere, miles from help, isn’t exactly the best situation to put yourself into.

But everything was fine. I completed the flight in just under an hour and a half, flying a route I’d taken many, many times. It felt good to see familiar mountains and roads again. And it even felt good to see Wickenburg Airport in the haze as I descended from the Bradshaw Mountains.

Oil Leak Investigated

I was still cooling down the engine on the ramp when Ed came out of his hangar. He stood patiently nearby until the blades stopped spinning. I opened up the side panel, where he could clearly see oil splattered all over the top of the battery box. He’d cleaned the box cover when he’d done an oil change before the trip. I’d cleaned it at least twice during the trip.

His main concern was that the oil leak was coming from the filter — which would mean he’d screwed up on the oil change. But that was not the problem and I knew it wasn’t. Ed is extremely conscientious about his work. Heck, the man won’t even give you a bill for work done until he knows he’s done it right.

I offloaded my luggage and towed the helicopter into one of Ed’s hangars. He went to work on it. I was still at the airport a while later when he came up with his verdict: the oil was leaking from one of the engine’s connections to a magneto. All he had to do was tighten a bolt.

We pulled the helicopter out onto the ramp between two rows of hangars and let it down off its towing equipment so its skids were flat on the ground. Although I hardly ever run it up near the hangars, there was no one around other than Ed, his assistant Kenny, and me. All the hangars were closed. So I fired it up while Ed sat a safe distance away, looking at the affected area through a pair of binoculars. I ran it at idle speed (55% RPM) and then at warm-up speed (68% RPM) for about five minutes before Ed signaled that it was okay to shut down. The leak had been fixed.

I put the helicopter away and headed home for some well-deserved rest.

Camping with the Lone Ranger

Keep this in mind the next time you go camping.

I got this from my friend Tom a while back and stumbled upon it today while I was clearing out old e-mail. As usual, if anyone knows the author of this piece, I’d be more than happy to give him or her credit and/or a link.

Enjoy.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look toward sky, what you see?”

The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”

“What that tell You?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, It tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumber than buffalo shit. It mean someone steal tent.”