Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

I think…therefore I’m dangerous.

Don’t Tell Me How to Spend My Money

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I tell yet another long backstory and get a few things off my chest. Sorry about the dirty laundry.

The other day, I did something I didn’t want to do: I bought a new monitor for my computer on Amazon.com.

The Monitor Backstory

It isn’t that I didn’t want to buy the monitor — I definitely did. Years ago, when I wrote books for a living, I had a wonderful computer setup that consisted of a 27″ iMac with a 24″ second monitor. I needed all that real estate for the work I was doing, laying out book pages on one screen and working with images, files, email, social media, and who knows what else on the other. It made my work easier and more pleasant to do, especially when I started getting involved in video projects for my helicopter YouTube channel, FlyingMAir.

But things change. I sold the helicopter and stopped doing videos. I bought a boat and started spending months on it at a time. I didn’t need a desktop computer so I traded it in for a new laptop. Along the way, I sold that second monitor, which, in all honesty, wasn’t that good anyway.

Dell Monitor
Here’s the marketing photo of the monitor I bought. Looks like a photo from Death Valley near Dante’s Point with a shit-ton of post processing and the saturation amped up, no?

But now I’m spending more time at home again, prepping to lay out another book, and making boating videos for my personal YouTube channel. So I bought a Mac Mini from Apple and bought a 27″ Dell UltraSharp monitor from Amazon to go with it.

The monitor is great and has more useful features than I need to cover here. It was working okay, but I really did miss that second monitor. So when I got home from my brief (comparatively speaking) trip south this winter, I decided it was time. I’d buy another monitor — preferably the same model — and set it side by side with the one I already had. It would make me more productive, I reasoned (whether rightly or wrongly). And yes, I’ll admit that the desire for some retail therapy weighed into the purchase decision.

And that brings me to Wednesday’s purchase.

The Amazon Backstory

I have been using Amazon.com since the only thing it sold was books. I was a Prime member when it was $49 (or maybe $39?) a year and all it got me was free 2-day shipping. I have spent thousands of dollars on Amazon over the years — sometimes more than $10,000 in a single year.

Sounds like I’m a real fan, right? Well, maybe I was but I’m not anymore. I dumped Prime when it got up to $149/year. (I think that’s what it is now, no?) I don’t watch TV and 2-day shipping is something Amazon stopped doing to my home back around Covid. I don’t like the way Amazon dominates the market and is putting smaller businesses out of business. I didn’t like the way “marketplace” vendors could be unreliable. I didn’t like the way search results — unless you had a specific make/model in mind — brought up so much crappy Chinese junk. And when it screwed up three of my orders right before Christmas, I started wondering why I was using Amazon at all. Surely I could just find stuff elsewhere.

So around mid-December 2024, I stopped buying at Amazon. Completely.

It wasn’t easy. You don’t realize how easy it is to fire up the Amazon app on your phone or tablet, find what you want (or think you want), and order it. With Amazon out of the picture, I had to source the things I couldn’t find locally elsewhere. It was a struggle. But I was succeeding. Up until Wednesday, I hadn’t ordered a single thing from Amazon. That’s about two months.

And I would have kept up the streak if it weren’t for the damn monitor.

Shopping for This One Specific Thing

Before you comment with advice on what I should have done, please read this…

  • I wanted this monitor, not some other make or model.
  • I wanted a new monitor, not a used or refurbished one.
  • I wanted to buy from a reputable source, not some guy selling on eBay or Craig’s List.
  • I know Best Buy will match prices, but not online. The closest Best Buy is a 2 1/2 hour drive from me.
  • Costco does not carry every single make/model of monitor and I am not a Costco member anyway.

I really did think this through. This post might be long, but it doesn’t include every single thing I did and thought about this.

You see, I wanted the exact same monitor. I knew it would work well with my Mac. I confirmed that it could be daisy-chained, via USB C, to the one I already had. I knew that my little Mac Mini could support two UHD displays. Not only that, but because they were identical, they’d line up perfectly, side by side, on my desktop, making a seamless ultra-wide monitor with plenty of easily accessible real estate.

So I fired up Duck Duck Go — my current search engine of choice; don’t get me started on Google — and put in the monitor’s model number: U2723QE. Of course, Amazon appeared at the top of the search results, but I ignored it. I figured that I’d buy it at B&H, which is where I’d seen it at a slightly higher price than Amazon in autumn.

But that price had gone up. And, to make an already too long story a tiny bit shorter, I’ll summarize my shopping experience: the monitor was more than $100 less on Amazon than anywhere else. And I think I looked just about everywhere.

Dell Monitor on Amazon
Although most pricing I saw was in the $540 to $590 range, I actually saw this monitor for more than $600 on AliExpress, which someone on social media suggested.

My Dilemma
My Mastodon post. Imagine me getting the whole story in less than 500 characters!

I stressed over this purchase. The way I saw it was that I had two choices: (1) I could save more than $100 by breaking my No-Amazon streak and buying it on Amazon or (2) I could skip buying it. There was no way I was going to spend $100 more than I had to.

I discussed this dilemma on my social media network of choice, Mastodon. The replies started coming in. The general consensus was that avoiding Amazon purchases when possible was a good thing. But when I needed to make a purchase and Amazon’s price was far better than anyone else’s, I should just go for it.

Bought Monitor
I posted this on Mastodon on the thread about my self-imposed moral dilemma.

So I did.

And Now to the Point of this Post

All that is backstory. What would one of my blog posts be without backstory?

It was one of the replies to my post about the purchase that really got under my skin. I don’t want to put the poster in the spotlight because maybe that person didn’t mean to trigger me. But I was definitely triggered and that’s what this post is all about.

The reply was:

You could always donate a portion of the money you saved to an organization you support…

I was (possibly unreasonably) offended by this.

The main and somewhat obvious reason this might offend me is the insinuation that I don’t normally contribute to charitable organizations. That cannot be farther from the truth, as I attempted to make clear (with possibly some humor?) in my response:

The organization I support right now is my grocery bill, which was $200 yesterday for one person for one week. And I didn’t even buy eggs. ;-)

Throughout the year, however, I donate to NPR, Wikipedia, World Kitchen, Pro Publica, Goodwill, the Humane Society, and others. That comes to a lot more than what I saved today.

Ben had it right: a penny saved is a penny earned. The more I save, the more I can spend elsewhere, whether its on me or for charitable donations.

(The Ben I’m referring to here is Ben Franklin, of course. He was a smart guy, even if he never really did say “A penny saved is a penny earned”.)

But the deeper reason it offended me was because I saw it as someone trying to tell me how to spend my money — and that is a particularly sore spot with me.

Don’t Tell Me How to Spend My Money

The way I see it is this: I earned everything I own, either through hard, smart work or through good investments. No, I didn’t get everything right, but I got enough right to put me where I am today as a financially secure home owner with enough money in the bank to make money one of my lesser concerns in life. There’s no generational wealth propping me up — as a few people with giant chips on their shoulders seem to think. Since graduating from college back in 1982, I have never asked for or received any financial help from anyone in my family or elsewhere, no matter how much I needed it.

Factory Photo
Here’s a blast from the past: on November 23, 2004, I took my sister and brother to the Robinson Helicopter factory for a tour. By an amazing coincidence, it was the same day they put my helicopter on the assembly line. Here I am standing next to hull #10603, holding a photo of a mockup based on a friend’s helicopter.

One of the ways I got to financial security was by making enough good financial decisions. The purchase of this monitor at Amazon for a savings of $100 is an example on a micro level. The purchase of a $346K helicopter, straight from the factory, that formed the basis of a lucrative 15-year career as an agricultural pilot is an example at a more macro level.

I spend my money the way I see fit. Yes, I have three vehicles, but the newest one is 12 years old. (The oldest is 26 now.) They all run, they all serve their purpose. And they’re all paid for. Why should I replace any of them if they’re doing what I need them to do? Why would I want to spend money on something with no real benefit? I’m not trying to impress anyone with what I drive. Why should I?

The Fleet
I’d rather have three old vehicles in my garage than just one with a loan on it.

Do you realize that the money I saved by not buying a new (to me) vehicle every two years — as my wasband was so fond of doing — is probably why I was able to pay off the mortgage on my home in less than 10 years? Do the math, folks. Home ownership might be more within reach than you think if you just adjust what you’re spending your money on.

And that’s the point. We all need to decide what’s important to us. It’s more important to me to have financial security with a paid-for home than to drive something new and flashy every few years. It might be more important to you to get your kid into a special school than to buy a home. Or more important to buy assets or get specialized training to build your business than take a vacation in Europe. We need to make our own decisions — and to respect the decisions of others.

The Sore Spot

Two and a half years ago, after spending a total of 10 weeks with two different boat captains on their boats along the Great Loop, I decided I wanted to cruise the Loop in my own boat. I had sold my helicopter and my charter business and had money to spend on a relatively new (but admittedly costly) “pocket yacht” that would meet my needs. I was very excited about the purchase and my upcoming journey. I wanted to share that excitement with people who meant a lot to me.

Boat for Sale
This is one of the photos on the brokerage website. I have a fondness for red, but that’s not what drew me to this boat. It was absolutely perfect for me — and a good deal, to boot.

But rather than them accept my purchase decision, they decided that they needed to tell me what a bad idea it was and to tell me what I should do instead. Their reaction made a few things clear:

  • They didn’t know me very well. This is nuts considering I already had a track record of doing unusual things.
  • They didn’t trust my ability to make my own financial decisions. This is also nuts given that I’m probably in better financial shape than they are.
  • They thought they had the right to tell me how to spend my money. This is also nuts given that neither one of them did very much of interest with theirs.

This situation put a rift in our relationship that has yet to be mended. I was offended by their stance and made it clear to them. They have neither apologized nor made any efforts to repair the rift.

And this is what makes people telling me how to spend my money a sore spot.

I should mention here that, like the helicopter, the boat and the experiences it has made possible have given my life a new trajectory at a time I really needed one. I completed the 8000+ mile Great Loop trip and am working on a book about it. I’ve already written articles about it. I’ve become a USCG licensed boat captain and have already done some paying work for people who needed training on their own new boats and have secured gigs with at least two boat training organizations. I’ve become a certified boat instructor for single and twin engine power boats. And I’ve put my boat — which is a valuable asset, after all — into a charter program where it will earn money for me this coming boating season and possibly seasons beyond. None of this would be possible if I had not bought the boat that they told me not to buy.

They might be satisfied sitting at home, pulling pages off their calendars as the days of our lives tick by, but I’m not.

Are you still reading?

This post has been an unusually circuitous drive. Like so many of my blog posts these days, I wrote it, in part, to clear my mind of things that were bothering me. Someone insinuating that I didn’t make charitable contributions — by suggesting I do so with the savings on a computer monitor purchase — both bugged and triggered me. I felt a need to get this — including the dirty laundry that went with it — off my chest.

I guess the message I have for you is this: money is probably one of those topics we shouldn’t be talking about, like religion and politics. If you feel the need to tell someone how to spend — or not spend — their money, why not hold back? Unless the person is making a lot of seriously dumb decisions that are causing financial harm, they probably don’t need or want your advice.

Instead, why not take a closer look at your own spending habits and how they are serving you?

Puzzles and My Aging Brain

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I develop a daily puzzle routine — with friends — to keep my mind challenged.

I’ve always been a fan of word games and puzzles, whether it’s something like Wordle or a crossword puzzle or the Washington Post’s excellent Keyword game. I’ve been doing them on and off for a while, but have recently made them, and other games, part of a morning routine.

The Routine

I wake very early — usually between 4 and 5 AM. (And please don’t lecture me about going to bed later; don’t you think I’ve tried?) I don’t mind waking up early. A year or two ago, I developed a morning routine that kills those first two or so hours pleasantly. It consists of these things, usually in this order:

  • Morning bathroom visit.
  • Make coffee.
  • Put my Apple watch on the charger. (I wear it overnight to track my sleep.)
  • Get back into bed with my coffee and turn on the light. (It’s still dark here this time of year at 5 AM. It won’t be in a few months.)
  • Use my iPad to check in on social media. I’m on just Mastodon now and I’ve used extensive filtering to block out 90% of the political crap going on. (I do this for mental health reasons. I still know what’s going on, but I don’t have to live and breathe it.) So catching up on what went on overnight is usually pretty quick.

  • Keyword Results
    Last week’s Keyword Results. I think this might have been my best week yet; the big challenge now is getting my averages down.

    Play a few daily online games: Wordle, Connections, Keyword, Sudoku (all three levels).

  • If I woke up really early, sometimes I’ll do a crossword puzzle; I have a great app on my iPad with more than 100 Sunday puzzles saved up and ready to go. (I don’t want to start my day before 6 AM unless I have something I need to do that early.)

By the time I do all that — the difficult level of Sudoku usually takes 25-50 minutes — my pups are ready to go out. If not, I wake them up and let them jump all over the bed, excited that we’re going to start our day. Then I throw on some clothes, take them outside (or for a walk, possibly on a leash if we’re on the boat or in the camper). When we get in, they usually go back to bed, but sometimes they wait by their dishes for food and I feed them and then they go back to bed. (Seriously: my dogs sleep a lot.)

Wordle

I have two Wordle buddies, Cheri (an old friend) and Teri (a neighbor). Every morning I play and send them my results. I have to use the Send Later feature on my phone so I don’t wake them. (Not everyone uses Do Not Disturb, although I don’t think I could live without it.)

Back when I had just one Wordle buddy, that buddy went on a trip to Europe and didn’t post her results. Because I didn’t get a text from her (and had not carved my morning routine in stone yet), I forgot to play and broke a 118-game streak. That really pissed me off. I’d rather just lose one day to break a streak than to break it by simply forgetting to play.

Then I started sharing results with Teri, too. I joke with her that it’s my proof of life. If she doesn’t get a Wordle text from me by noon, she should come make sure I’m not dead.

Connections & Sudoku

Connections and Sudoku are new to the routine. I used to play some Wordle-like puzzles that had me solving four or eight or even sixteen Wordles at once, but when Teri introduced me to Connections, I decided to mix things up a bit.

Connections gives you 16 words and you have to figure out how groups of four of them are related. It’s a lot tougher than it sounds, especially until you get the hang of it. I like it because it makes me think of each word in multiple ways. Because there’s no timer, there’s no stress. I get it 5 or 6 times a week. I think my longest streak was 6. That’s okay. I love the challenge.

I know that Sudoku has been around forever but I never got sucked in. I’d always seen it on paper and it looked like a lot of work. But then I discovered the digital version on the Washington Post website. It does the “pencil work” for you, leaving the task of using logic to fill in the grid. In the beginning, I didn’t fully understand the ways I could look at the pencil work and grid to logically deduce answers or eliminate possibilities. I found myself at a point where I’d have to guess, and I knew that wasn’t right. So I did some research and learned.

Sudoku
Here’s what today’s Sudoku looks like on the web. I usually play it on my iPad and it looks different, but not by much. I have what I call the “pencil work” showing. If I were doing this on paper, those little numbers would need to be manually penciled in (and erased) after scanning each row, column, or 3×3 grid to figure out what numbers are possible. The digital version keeps this updated, but at a certain point, I have to modify the pencil work to eliminate the little numbers using logic. That’s the part I like best.

Each day there are three puzzles: easy, medium, and difficult. The easy puzzle is painfully easy — I’m not sure why I bother with them. The medium puzzle is a good warmup for the difficult one. I love the way I can get to a point in the difficult puzzle where I seem stuck — and then use what I’ve learned to scan through the pencil work and eliminate possibilities. Then look at it all again and start getting answers.

I’m extremely pleased with this difficult Sudoku because it really makes me tap into my brain power and use logic. It forces me to focus. I know that I can solve the puzzle if I look at it in all these different logical ways. I’m really using my brain and I feel the challenge. I love it!

Solving Puzzles as a Diagnostic Tool

I think that my ability to solve difficult puzzles is what’s going to cue me in when I’m heading into cognitive decline. I live alone, so there’s no one around to tell me if I’m starting to slip mentally. It’s up to me to diagnose any possible problems. I look at the difficult Sudoku as my daily test to make sure my brain is still functioning. If I can’t solve the puzzle, I have a problem.

I know my short-term memory is getting bad. For example, I’ll solve the Wordle and text it to my two friends. Later, after 7 AM my time, I start getting their results. By that time — just an hour or two later! — I can’t remember what the answer word was, let alone the words I used to get it.

I don’t think my memory is a problem, at least not yet. I have tools and techniques to work around any short-term memory issues:

  • I keep an open spiral notebook on my desk to write down things I need to remember for a day or two. I tear off the sheets when I no longer need the notes.
  • I have a to-do list app on my phone, tablet, desktop computer, and laptop that automatically keeps the lists synced, so I can add items anytime, anywhere and have them available when I need them. I even use this for my shopping list and things I need to do 2 months from now, like changing the HVAC filter.
  • As I mentioned elsewhere, I use Scrivener to take notes on things I need to remember long term that aren’t things I need to do, like the size, in pixels, of the featured image on my Great Loop blog — why can’t I remember that?) Those files are stored in a Dropbox folder so I can access them from any device, anywhere.

As things stand, I’m not worried about memory or cognitive issues. But I’m getting older and I need to be aware of the situation. I think my puzzle solving abilities will be a good indication of how things are.

The Uncertainty of Politics — and Its Affect on Small Business Investors

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I come up with a new goal and a business plan to go with it — and realize that this simply isn’t a good time to take risks.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you should know a little about me, but if you don’t, let me fill you in on what’s important to know for this post.

At Chicago
I crossed my wake in Chicago on August 12, 2024. Here’s my boat, Do It Now, in a slip at DuSable Marina in Chicago, exactly 6 feet away from the slip I started from in October 2022.

I’m currently 60-something. I retired from my most recent career as a helicopter pilot in 2023, after selling the helicopter, the charter company, and the cherry drying company in 2022 and 2023. I took the proceeds from those sales and used them to buy a 32-foot “pocket yacht,” which I shipped to Chicago in October 2022. I then spent most of the next two years cruising on that boat, alone and with friends, along the Great Loop. (I blog about that in my Great Loop blog, so if you’re interested, please check it out.)

Big Garage
The bigger your garage is, the more stuff you’ll accumulate to fill it.

I finished my Great Loop trip in August 2024 and trailered the boat back to the Seattle area, where I launched it in Puget sound. I then spent most of the next month cruising around there and the Inside Passage before bringing it home and cramming it into my very large garage for the winter.

In those final days on the Loop — keeping in mind that I covered more than 8,000 miles — I realized that the part of the Loop I liked the best was the northern part, say from New York City all the way up to Canada and then west into the Great Lakes. There’s nothing quite like cruising in the lakes, rivers, and canals of New York and Ontario; I felt that I could do it forever.

At Valcour Island
Here’s Do It Now anchored off Valcour Island in Lake Champlain in June 2024. I could spend a lifetime exploring the waterways of New York and Ontario.

Wouldn’t it be great to do it every summer until my age caught up with me and I was done boating?

Goals

I’m a person of personal goals and finishing the Great Loop left me kind of floundering without one. I also felt weird about being retired — not having anything to do to bring in a few bucks to cover my living expenses. I was living off my retirement savings, waiting a few more years to start collecting social security, and it didn’t look as if running out of money was going to be a problem. (I’m remarkably thrifty about some things.) Although my side gig as a silversmith did bring in some money, it was small change without the potential to get much bigger — unless I was willing to spend five days a week in my studio producing jewelry and a bunch of time finding new markets for my work. I wasn’t.

But when I finished the Loop I felt the inklings of a new goal coming on, a new business endeavor where I could spend eight months of the year cruising northern inland waters and the remaining four months soaking up the sun in Arizona. I’d use my captain’s license to offer one- and two-week cruises to a specific potential market of people, cruising in the waters I wanted to explore while teaching them what I knew about cruising. The money I brought in would cover my cruising expenses, reducing my cost of living and helping me preserve some of those retirement savings.

I’m Going to Need a Bigger Boat

But there was a catch: I needed a bigger boat.

I needed a boat with two full sleeping cabins. My guests would get the good one and I’d take the lesser one, but the lesser one had to be a lot bigger than the lesser one on my current boat. I needed to upsize and I had a few models in mind.

Of course, all of these bigger boat options, although pre-owned, would cost a significant amount of money. I figured I’d get that money by selling my home, which is fully paid for, and my current boat, which has a small loan. (I could go into a long lecture about having a paid-for home, but I won’t do it here.) I figured I’d put all of the boat proceeds and half the home proceeds into a bigger boat and use the rest of my home proceeds to buy a modest place in Tucson. After all, although I love my current home, I don’t like it nearly as much during the four months I’d be taking my annual break from the boat. Surely I wouldn’t miss it.

When I was in Arizona, I looked at homes and land and actually found two different lots that were perfect for me. One would be easier than the other to build on, but I’d still have to build on it. I built my current home, acting as General Contractor while the experts did the stuff requiring experts and I did the rest. Did I have another build in me? I thought maybe I did.

American Tug
What a deal! This 2014 American Tug could be mine for just $610K! Not what I was hoping to spend, however.

So all this is what was going through my mind when I cut this winter’s trip to Arizona short so I could attend the Seattle Boat Show. I had multiple goals for the show, but the main one was to look at used boats in the marina portion of the show. And I did. I actually found two models that would work perfectly for my new business.

The unfortunate thing was that they cost about 50% more than I was hoping to pay. Oops.

Okay, well maybe I could get a small business loan. I had good credit and could work up a business plan that would pass muster. My number-smart brain — did I mention I have an accounting degree? — went to work considering possibilities to make this happen.

How the Current Political Climate Stopped Me Cold

Meanwhile, the demented old narcissist that half the country thought should be the most powerful man in the world got sworn into office. (Did you notice how he didn’t touch the bible? I think he was afraid he’d burn his hand with the lightning God would send through it.)

And things got pretty weird pretty quick.

I won’t go into a litany of the weird shit the Orange Clown and his South African crony, the Space Karen, have subjected America and the world to. First of all, I couldn’t list it all. I stopped following the news. All I know are the things that have crept through my social media filters, things I’ve heard while I had my head in the sand and my fingers in my ears singing la, la, la, la, la at the top of my lungs.

And even that is enough.

More than enough.

Boat Longing
There will be no return to Valcour Island in a boat anytime soon. But I will get to cruise the Pacific Northwest this summer so I’m not as sad as this picture might make me look.

More than enough to tell me that I’d be insane to invest time and money in a new business in this crazy political climate. Tariffs will result in inflation far beyond what we saw over the past few years. Job losses from the shutdown of government offices and the cancelling of grants will put people in dire straits. Another recession, which is definitely possible when the guy making laws by signing executive orders keeps making asinine decisions, will make it highly unlikely that anyone will want to pay me to take them on a cruise. (Unless there’s a chance I can smuggle them into Canada, I guess. If Canada even lets us in.)

More than enough to tell me that I’d be a complete and utter fool to walk away from a paid-for house to build a new one in the kind of economic uncertainty we face, where the price of lumber and building materials could jump 50% — if such materials were available at all. And in a red state? A place where the majority of people think calling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America is a good thing that proves their cult leader has their best interests at heart? (How are those egg prices doing, my deplorable friends?) And how long before they cut our social security and medicare benefits — the exact thing most Americans in my age group are relying on to take care of them in their old age?

Am I nuts?

No.

So there won’t be a new business in my future. (Well, at least not one beyond the tiny business I started late last year and will talk about elsewhere.) There won’t be cruising in the freshwater lakes, rivers, and canals of New York and Ontario and beyond, at least not in a new-to-me, bigger boat. There won’t be a new house on five acres of desert land in the foothills of the Rincon Mountains near Tucson.

There will just be the financial security and comfort of the home I’m in now, a home I love eight months out of the year. I’ll keep myself busy enough.

And learn to be satisfied without chasing down another goal.

I still have that camper for a winter escape.

My Growing Dissatisfaction with Social Media

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I start to think long and hard about my involvement in social media and whether it’s worth the time I spend on it. Maybe you should, too.

Back in the mid 2000s, I was at the height of my writing career. Churning out at least five books a year with two of them guaranteed bestsellers — well, “bestsellers” by tech book standards, anyway; I wasn’t arguing with my royalty checks — I was on the leading edge of so much end user level stuff. It seemed natural that I should dive into social media, which was so new at the time. I may have had an account on MySpace, but it was Twitter, which I joined in 2007, that really attracted me.

Twitter

Back then, it was possible to view the entire system timeline just by going to Twittr.com. (Yes, in the very early days, there was no E. That was a popular naming trend back then. Drop the E in front of the R. Tumblr is another example.) You’d just go to that home page, read the tweets of people all over the world, and pick out the accounts you wanted to follow. I still follow the first person I followed on Twitter — although I follow him on Mastodon now. (More on that in a moment.)

Twitter became an important part of my lifestyle. It was my “office watercooler,” so to speak. I worked alone at a home office, working long, 12-hour days while on a book project and then taking time off to recharge before the next one. My future wasband either worked from his home office or back on the East Coast or, later, from an office down in the Phoenix area. (In the end, it got to be a sort of “job of the month club” for him, bouncing from one job to another. At the very end, it was hard to keep track.) Since my work was mostly solitary, each time I came up from a highly focused writing session for a brief rest before diving back in, I looked for someone to talk to. If my future wasband was busy or not around, I turned to my Twitter friends.

I started to build real-life friendships with some of these people. I met a surprising number of them in person. In those days, I was still traveling a bit for work and would make a point of meeting up with ones who lived at my work destination. Coffee. Lunch. Whatever. These people were folks I could chat with online during the day, cutting a bit of the loneliness out of my workday. We chatted about all kinds of things, from the weather and photography to travel and cooking. Just about anything. (That’s one of the benefits of being a polymath: you can find something to talk about with almost anyone.)

Also, pretty early on, when I was still producing video content for Lynda.com (not LinkedIn Learning), I wrote the very first video courses — or training material at all — about using Twitter. I think I revised that course two times before they pulled it away from me and handed it to in-house authors they didn’t have to pay royalties to. (And that wasn’t the only successful course they snatched away from me to bring in-house. They also took my WordPress course, which was a real money-maker for me for several years. I guess you can see why I won’t develop courses for them anymore.)

Facebook

I also hopped onto Facebook around the same time, although my use of that service didn’t pick up until around 2010. I didn’t like it quite as much. It seemed juvenile. People posting sometimes idiotic, sometimes misleading memes created by others. There are only so many cat pictures a person can look at in a day. Not many original thoughts being shared. Actually, not much of anything that could be considered a “thought.” It also upset me to learn that several real-world friends and family members appeared to have Nazi leanings. Do I really need to know that? Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

And then there was the time my sister, a life-long Republican, posted a pro-Democrat sentiment on her Facebook wall. My mother, in her infinite wisdom, had the nerve to lecture my sister, right there on Facebook for everyone to see. My sister deleted my mother’s comment and stopped talking to her for a while. I just blocked my mother. Who needs to worry about shit like that?

LinkedIn

I might have hopped on LinkedIn before Facebook. In the beginning, LinkedIn looked like a serious social networking website where I might actually make connections to people who could move my careers forward. (Yes, back then I had two active careers: writing and flying helicopters.) But I never had any success making solid professional contacts there and couldn’t see any reason to duplicate personal content I was already sharing on other social media. And then the spam began; it got to the point that every time I connected to LinkedIn, the only new content directed to me was spam from people claiming to know someone I barely knew or had heard of, trying to sell me on their services.

In fact, sometime between 2010 and 2014, I started to realize that actively participating in three social media sites — Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn — was taking a lot of time and effort. More than I wanted to give. LinkedIn was mostly abandoned; I killed the account completely when the spam started arriving in my email inbox and I couldn’t seem to shut it off.

Instagram, TikTok, others

Fortunately, I never got sucked into Instagram, like so many other folks have, although I think I did set up at least once account. Again, I felt my hands were already full with the social media I “had” to be on. I did not want to lose more hours of my day building a presence somewhere else.

Ditto for TikTok — most of the content I’ve seen there is amateurish, juvenile, or both. I think TikTok is the perfect platform for today’s vapid population of low attention span, gullible people. I do believe China is (or will be) using it to sway popular opinion. It won’t surprise me at all if it works. Anyone willing to waste hours of their day on the kind of crap the algorithm serves them — no matter how “good” that algorithm is at predicting what people like — is already being led around by a leash.

Social Media and the Publishing World

Anyway, my publishers were thrilled that I had a social media presence. That presence was enhanced quite a bit when I earned a “verified” checkmark on my Twitter account. (Back in the day, verified meant that they’d checked your identity and you were who they said you were. Twitter only performed this service for people with a certain level of fame, which I’d achieved at the time through my writing. Heck, for a while I even had a Wikipedia page.)

Keep in mind, this is still before the word influencer began being used. Authors at my level weren’t influencers yet — and I don’t think I ever was one. But readers — potential and otherwise — could find us online and be “friends” with us. We could post about our work and people who followed us could learn about it. All without costing the publishers a single cent of their advertising budgets. All the work fell to the authors and it sometimes was quite a bit of work.

And this is how things remain today in the publishing world. Part of the author evaluation process is an examination of the author’s social media reach and content. It’s crazy because it forces authors to build an online presence that takes them away from their actual work. It also limits what an author can say on social media — one unpopular tweet can land an author in seriously hot water. (And I’m sure I could find at least six good examples of this, but since I’m writing this in the middle of the California desert with no cell signal, I can’t look now.)

2015 to 2022

Let’s fast-forward to the mid 2010s. By this point, I was pretty much addicted to participation in social media, including Twitter and Facebook. (I’d mostly given up on LinkedIn by then.)

My writing career had wound down — who buys computer how-to books these days? — and my flying career had taken off (no pun intended). I was happily divorced, living in a home I had built to my specifications on 10 acres of view property in Washington state. I was exploring new hobbies like beekeeping and, later, silversmithing. I had a great garden. I had a little jet boat I’d take out on the Columbia River. I had real-life friends who lived nearby in addition to my social media friends.

The need to keep my publishers happy by maintaining a social media presence had pretty much faded away. But still, I was spending hours every day with my nose in my phone or iPad, scrolling through Twitter and Facebook, clicking Like buttons and Retweet buttons and replying to posts I had something to say about.

It was around then that I started to realize that Facebook wasn’t showing me all of the posts by all of the people I followed. It was showing me a selection of them. If I went to the person’s wall — do they still call it that? — I would see what they’d posted, but I had no patience to do that for everyone I wanted to keep up with.

The posts that seemed to come up the most were political memes. Holy crap! How many hateful, usually misleading memes are out there? Are people so freaking stupid that they can’t comprehend a thought unless it’s 25 words or less in big type on a picture?

And then there were the ads. They never seemed to stop. But when they started showing me ads related to things I’d searched for on Google, I completely wigged out. Facebook was tracking my activity across the Internet and using that info to display advertisements for things it thought I might like. This had to stop.

In the meantime, Twitter grew exponentially and became the platform of choice for the news media to quote. Not a day went by when a television newscast didn’t include at least one tweet.

Understanding the Algorithm

Filterworld Book Cover

If you’re curious about how the algorithm used by social media companies affects what you see and how you feel about it, you really ought to check out Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture by Kyle Chayka. This book takes an extremely detailed look at how algorithms are used to addict us to social media and then manipulate us when we’re there. It’s full of real-life stories as examples.

I “read” it in audiobook format on a long drive and was really struck by a lot of things it covered, mostly because I’ve already seen examples in my own life and social media use. It has made me glad I’ve gotten off of algorithm-based social media platforms but has also made me think hard about the time I spend online.

And then I noticed that tweets weren’t appearing in the reverse chronological order I loved. And that tweets were missing. Twitter, like Facebook, was employing an algorithm that determined what it would show me and what order that content would appear in. Among ads. I found myself repeatedly going into settings to revert back to the chronological timeline of all the tweets by people I followed.

In the perfectly coined word by Cory Doctorow, social media — all social media — was becoming enshittified. After getting us addicted to their platforms, they were adding crappy “features” no one wanted to display advertising, change opinions, and collect information about us that they could sell to third parties. You know what they say: nothing is free. If you’re using a free service, maybe you’re the product they’re selling to someone else.

I knew what was going on and I didn’t want to be part of it. Something had to give.

After staying off Facebook for a whole year, I decided to delete my account. The hardest part about it was not losing touch with the few real friends I had there. It was knowing that the hours I’d spent participating on the service, giving them content that they might or might not show to the people who followed me, was time ultimately wasted. All that content would be deleted. Gone for good. (At least I hope so.)

I was down to just one social media account: Twitter.

2022 and Beyond

My love affair — fueled, in part by addiction — for Twitter soured considerably when the Space Karen, Elon Musk, bought it. It didn’t take long for him to try to monetize it by allowing people to pay for a “verified” check mark and trying to force those of us who already had one to pay up to keep it. I elected not to pay and found myself suddenly unverified. I was no longer who I said I was?

Me on Mastodon
My current profile on Mastodon.

I saw the way things were going — although I admit I never expected it to get as bad as it did. I set up an account on Mastodon, an open source platform that networks servers around the world, very much like the old Fidonet network my BBS was part of in the mid 1990s. Over time, I weaned myself off of Twitter and onto Mastodon. I fully expected it to meet my “watercooler” needs, bringing me a handful of friends I could chat with online no matter where I was.

Mastodon reminded me of Twitter when I first joined. No algorithm. Posts appear in reverse chronological order. I see every toot by everyone I follow — unless, of course, I blocked certain words or phrases with filters. I currently use filters extensively on Mastodon to block out as much political content as possible. I don’t need to follow politics on social media, where memes and desperate pleas attached to article links fill our minds with so much oversimplified crap.

When I learned my Twitter content was being used to feed AI systems, I wanted my 150,000+ tweets off Twitter. I paid TweetDeleter to do the job for me. Due to constraints on the Twitter platform, it took two months.

I set up Mastodon to automatically delete toots after a year. I had realized that nothing I shared online was so important that it needed to be kept forever. Life is fleeting, social media life is even more fleeting.

And this is where I am now:

  • I still have my Twitter account. I have to hold onto the user name so no one else gets it and tries to impersonate me. (Yes, it has happened before.) But I rarely look at it and, if you looked at it now, it would tell you to find me on Mastodon.
  • I participate throughout the day every day on Mastodon. Am I addicted? Sadly, I believe so.

My Current State of Dissatisfaction

And that brings me to the point of this post.

You see, even though I believe that Mastodon is my best option for participating in social media — keeping in mind that my solitary lifestyle gives me a need for the always attended “watercooler” for chatting with others — I’m finding myself less and less satisfied with it. Simply said, I don’t think it’s meeting my real need, which is thoughtful or amusing conversation.

If I wanted a distraction, I’d look at YouTube or do a crossword puzzle. Or, for Pete’s sake, work on one of my hobbies. (Did I mention that I recently started linocut and bookbinding? It never ends.)

But it’s not just distraction I want. I want meaningful conversation with intelligent people who don’t get bent out of shape if you don’t fully agree with everything they toot. People who aren’t sucked into current events so deeply that all they can do is whine about the current political landscape and share idiotic memes. People who can share a joke or provide insight about something I mentioned or share their own interesting experiences. People who aren’t so focused on the illusion of being a better human that all they can do is toot about the latest catastrophe or outrage that should make us sad or angry or frustrated and boost the toots of every out-of-luck user begging for money. People who don’t hate.

Am I getting that on Mastodon? Yes, to a certain extent. I fine-tune the accounts I follow daily, cutting out the ones who toot things I don’t want to see and turning off boosts for the ones who share everything they like, regardless of its more universal appeal. (The theory these people cling to is that they’re doing the original posters a favor by sharing instead of liking since there’s no algorithm to give them exposure. What they don’t realize is that they become one of thousands of algorithms, and that by sharing nearly everything, they’re filling our feeds with too much stuff.

I can count on two hands the accounts I interact with — keeping in mind that the only thing I want from social media is interaction. The rest is a steady stream of photographs that may or may not have been taken by the person who originally posted it. (I recently blocked the Pixelfed instance and that really cut back on the flood of photos. Enough remain.) And don’t get me started on the holier-than-thou mavens who find it necessary to tell us all how to toot and include alt text and use hashtags. I tell people how to mute and block people like that. ;-)

In general, however, social media is not serving me what I want to be served. It’s not filling the socialization gap in my life that’s inherent with living or traveling alone in a relatively remote area. And that’s got me wondering why I waste so much time on it.

The Solution

The solution is easy:

  • Cut back on social media use. I’ve tried before but will try again to limit my access to social media to 7 PM to 7 AM. In other words, no scrolling during the day. I’m also going to try to limit all access to less than one hour a day.
  • Continue to fine-tune the list of people I follow to dump the ones who share stuff I don’t care about and don’t interact with me and replace them with more interesting people. (I’ve been doing that a lot lately.)
  • Turn off boosts (like a retweet or share) for the people who share a lot of crap I don’t want to see.
  • Continue to fine-tune my filters to block out content I don’t want to see. These days, it’s pretty much anything to do with politics, war, gender and race issues, gaming, and programming. I figure that I already see just a fraction of what the people I follow post because of my extensive filtering. That’s fine with me.

While I don’t think any of these things will make my participation in social media more satisfying, I do believe that it’ll help break my addiction (because of less access) and help keep it from getting any more disappointing than it actually is.

The next step, of course, is dropping out of this last social media platform and staying off social media completely. But I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

In the meantime, what do you think about your participation in social media? Is it giving you everything you want to need? Are you satisfied? Do you feel as if you’re using your social media time productively or wasting it?

Another New Year, Simple Resolutions

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I look back at the year that just ended and forward into the year just beginning.

As I get older, I’m spending a lot more time thinking about the past and the future. I thought I’d take a moment to jot down some of my thoughts as we change calendars and start a new year.

Goodbye 2024

AGLCA
I’m not a member of this organization, which seems to exist primarily to separate Great Loop cruisers and wannabes from their money. I got the flag for free and flew it to identify myself as a Looper to others; not many realized I hung it upside down.

I’ve been thinking a bit about the year that just ended — as most of us probably do around New Year’s Day. It was my first full year of “retirement” (whatever that is in my life), a year when I completed a handful of personal achievements to move me forward in my life.

The biggest of these was the completion of my Great Loop cruise, a non-event that occurred on August 12, 2024 in Chicago, IL when I cruised past the entrance to the Chicago River and into DuSable Harbor. It was the culmination of about 16 months of cruising, mostly solo, over the course of 22 months in the boat that members of my family (who I now realize never really knew me very well) claimed I’d never use.

Do It Now at Walburg
One of my favorite anchorages last winter was just off the ICW in Georgia.

In the 8,300+ nautical miles I traveled on all kinds of waterways — rivers, lakes (including three Great Lakes) , bays, gulfs, canals, the ICW, and the Atlantic Ocean — I really honed my skills as a mostly solo boat captain. That served me very well in late September, when those skills were recognized and I was offered a job as a powerboat instructor for single and twin engine boats up to 50 feet in length. I took two classes to get the additional certifications I needed (in addition to my USCG captain’s license, which I got in 2023). I start that work later this year.

(I could write a whole blog post about how my hobbies and interests have turned into paying work — and even careers — throughout my life, but I’ll save that for another day.)

I put my silversmithing work pretty much on hold during 2024, although I did get a few jewelry classes in at Gallery One. I also managed to sell some jewelry to a new wholesale account on Bald Head Island in North Carolina. (Be sure to check out the Silver Peddler for my work if you’re ever out there.)

I did start a new hobby — like I needed one — bookbinding. This combines my love of addiction to paper with my love of books and writing. I’m just starting to get the hang of it now. I find the stitching of text blocks to be strangely soothing and rewarding. I think a lot of my friends will be getting books as gifts in the months and maybe years to come.

Dad and Me
My stepmom took this photo of my dad and me at their house in Florida last winter. At the time, my dad was 84 and working full time at Home Depot.

I also reconnected with my dad after so many years of him just being a background figure in my life. This actually started in 2023, when I first cruised to his Florida home in my boat on my way north along the Great Loop route. I stopped there again twice in late 2023 and then again in early 2024. It was a pleasure to be with a family member who wasn’t judging me or trying to get me to do what they thought I should do. A family member who seemed genuinely proud of who I am and what I’ve achieved. Sadly, I lost my dad to a combination of illnesses in September. He was 85. I need to blog a bit about that, but I’m not quite ready.

Realizations

I realized a few things about my extensive traveling over the past two years.

First, even after spending more than half my time traveling, I still love to travel. There’s something very appealing to me about every day having the potential to be very different from the day before it. I love seeing new things and meeting new people. I love the challenge of plotting a course — whether it’s on a boat or in a car — and seeing where it takes me beyond just the expected geography. Of seeing how it helps me learn and grow as a person.

But, at the same time, I really do love my home and enjoy its comforts. It’s nice to have a washer, dryer, dishwasher, soaking tub, and unlimited water, electricity, and high speed Internet. I love the views and the privacy and the peace. I missed my garden and the chickens I had to give away. It’s easy to see why so many people would rather just stay home than explore beyond that, where things might not be as easy or as comfortable. But after just weeks at home starting in October, I was aching to get out again.

Home
I admit it: near the end of my Great Loop cruise, I was a little bit homesick.

Other things I realized:

  • I spend entirely too much time on social media. I’m only on Mastodon these days — an algorithm-free Twitter-like system with a much higher percentage of smart, socially conscious people than you’d find on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. That has fueled one of my two tiny resolutions: no browsing social media between 6 AM and 6 PM. I’m tired of so much of my time being sucked away. I want to be more productive.
  • I am losing focus of the things that matter to me. Those things are mostly my writing and other creative endeavors. I blame time wasted on social media for that. But I also blame myself for being so easily distracted. It’s another thing I need to work on in this new year.
  • I’m getting old. I’ve actually been realizing this bit by bit over time, but now it seems to be on my mind more. Feeling out of shape, losing the strength I had just 10 years ago when I was building my home. It’s harder to do some of the things I used to do with ease. Part of that is letting myself get heavier again; so much energy is wasted just moving my body around! Another part is simply not being as physically active as I was. That’s another thing I need to address in the new year. But another part is the fact that my friends are starting to die off or get seriously ill. I’m not the only one aging. Time is short for all of us.

Looking Forward to 2025

The completion of my Great Loop cruise — which had been a personal goal for a few years — left me without a goal or direction. I have some ideas of what I want to do in the next stage of my life and have taken a few steps toward those things. Using my boat captain credentials to teach people how to drive boats is just one part of that. Taking a break from long-term cruising and putting my boat into a charter fleet so it can earn me some money while being ready for me to cruise when it’s not booked is another. And yes, I even started a new business to manage both of those boat-related endeavors.

At the Beach with my Pups
Here’s a rare selfie of me sitting on the sand with my pups at Marineland’s beach.

But I think I’d also like to return to the northeast to do some cruising in New York and Canada. I just don’t want to do it in my current boat. I want to upsize. And I want to take others along to see what it’s like. To share the joy I feel when I cruise across a smooth body of water on a perfect day, or pull into a marina at a brand new destination, or drop anchor near a deserted beach.

And I think I’d like to spend my winters in Arizona, where I can look out the window and see desert hillsides studded with saguaro cacti, mesquite, and palo verde. Where I can feel the sun on my skin in December and January. That means selling my house — I know the folly of owning more than one home — which means downsizing. It also means finding the place that’s right for me. I think I have just one more move left in me so I need to make it count. And I know how hard it’s going to be to find a place that comes close to the near perfection of what I have now, someplace I can move to without regrets.

In the meantime, I need to finish a few projects I started that are related to the Great Loop trip. The biggest is the blog that has too many gaps in the account of the trip. That blog will eventually become a book — my first in nearly 10 years. That’s the kind of project I’d like to get done before the boating season starts again.