Humor from a friend.
There will be no nativity scene in the United State Congress, this year!
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in the United States capital this Christmas season.
This isn’t for any religious reason; they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation’s capitol.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
This is the kind of crap I put up with.
Some people really need to get a life. Like this guy, Mike, who took time out of what must be a very boring existence to write me this e-mail:
Look, you and people like you have got to STOP spreading crap like your mouse story around. Seriously, I understand your point of view and if I got to to fly a helicopter around when I wanted to I may adopt your point of view. The problem is that 99% of us DON’T!!!
It matters not what you write… whether it’s a novel or just get up on your soapbox and subletly tell others there moral duty in an internet story about mice. Some responsiblilty should be utilized.
I (and others like me) can not shuttle these vermin to an estate in the GC!! In fact, many suffer disease and health problems from these little bastards, myself included. Remeber the plauge???
Please think of the consiquences of your words.
Seems to me as though you are already full of shit.
Wow. For someone who doesn’t care, he certainly seems to care.
Amazing how a simple post about mice can get a guy so riled up. I guess he really hates the little critters. He should get a job as an exterminator.
Normally, I just delete crap like this. But this one was so spectacular with its exclamation points and question marks and misspellings that I just had to share it with the 1% of readers (by his estimate) who actually do care.
And if anyone reading this agrees with Mike, here’s a solution for you: stop reading this blog. Because no matter how much hate mail you send me, I’m going to write whatever the hell I want to here.
More humor from a friend.
Here’s another amusing tidbit I got from a friend of mine. If you know the author of this piece, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?”
“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a f*ckin’ wall.”
Political Philosophies Explained in Simple “Two Cow” Terms
I got this from my friend, Ray, who got it from someone else. (You know how it is.) During my attempt to track down an author, I stumbled upon a Wikipedia entry for Two Cows. Amusing all around.
Enjoy.
Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, and then act surprised when it drops dead.
Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
Keep this in mind the next time you go camping.
I got this from my friend Tom a while back and stumbled upon it today while I was clearing out old e-mail. As usual, if anyone knows the author of this piece, I’d be more than happy to give him or her credit and/or a link.
Enjoy.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look toward sky, what you see?”
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What that tell You?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, It tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
“You dumber than buffalo shit. It mean someone steal tent.”