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Author Archives: Maria Langer
A Day Off — Kind Of
Good weather sets me free.
If you’ve been following this blog, you know I’m in Quincy, WA, with my helicopter on a cherry drying contract.
The contract requires me to be on “standby” during daylight hours seven days a week. Here in Washington these days, that’s basically from 5 AM to 9 PM. During that time, I can receive a call from one or more of the three growers I’m currently covering. I’m expected to respond quickly, to fly my helicopter over to the orchard(s) and begin drying. The cherries must be dried within 2-3 hours to prevent damage. I have 78 acres to cover, and if you figure 40 acres an hour, I don’t have much time to waste.
Of course, I don’t have to dry the cherries if they don’t get wet. So if it doesn’t rain, I’m not likely to be needed. That’s when I can move a bit farther afield.
And that’s what I did yesterday. It was a beautiful day with no chance of rain, so I took a “day off” and went to Wenatchee.
Now, Wenatchee is only 30 car miles from Quincy. And my orchards are between Wenatchee and Quincy — one of them is actually closer to Wenatchee than Quincy. So if the weather changed over my orchards while I was in Wenatchee, I’d know and be able to hightail it home. So I don’t in any way feel that I was being irresponsible with a day trip to Wenatchee while I was on standby.
Besides, I had work to do in Wenatchee. I’d finally gotten the missing gaskets for my fuel tank setup and had reassembled the tank and pump. For some reason, however, I couldn’t get the pump to work. I figured it might have to do with the tank not being primed. Since I had to fill the tank anyway, I figured I’d get it filled in Wenatchee and troubleshoot the problem there.
So I hit the road and drove to Wenatchee. It’s a pleasant drive, much of which is along the Columbia River. There’s a spot along the way where you turn a bend in the road and the Rock Island Dam is spread out before you. If I could find a place to pull over and take a photo, I would. So far, no luck.
I crossed a bridge and made my way onto Wenatchee Avenue. From there, I went to Wenatchee Petroleum near 6th Street. The folks there were very pleasant. I moved the truck over to their pump and Ken topped off my tank. We couldn’t fill it to the very top because fuel kept spitting out, so I only took 12 gallons. But the price was good and I’m likely to get all my refills there.
I experimented with my pump and it still wouldn’t work. It seemed to be the pump motor. I worked my phone and tracked down the local dealer for the pump, which turned out to be just a block away. After I explained that no, I didn’t have separate suction pipe, the suction pipe was built into the tank itself, we got down to business. We fiddled with the switch and pump. Suddenly, it started working. The problem appeared to be in the switch. I think it had some moisture in it that was preventing it from working properly. Once it dried out, it worked.
For the first time since installing my $2,000+ fuel transfer system nearly a month ago, it worked. (It was about f*cking time.)
With that load off my mind, I could goof off a little. I drove into downtown Wenatchee and parked right on Wenatchee Avenue. I immediately spotted a Mongolian BBQ restaurant. I hadn’t had Mongolian BBQ in 10-15 years and my stomach was grumbling for lunch — it was 12:15 PM, after all — so I went in. I had a great lunch. Then I came back out into the sunshine and walked a few blocks down and then up Wenatchee Avenue, looking into the shops. There’s a great sporting goods shop on the east side of the street and I’ll probably be going back next week to buy a new bicycle seat there. I treated myself to a vanilla ice cream with a shot of espresso on top before heading back to the truck.
Two more stops. First, Home Depot to buy a large plastic planter, potting soil, and some plants for a little garden at my camper. Tomatoes, basil, and some flowers. Then Safeway in East Wenatchee for a few groceries. I was very disappointed that they didn’t sell 8 O’Clock Coffee, which is my favorite brand.
I took the road past Wenatchee Airport on the way back. It might be a little longer than route 28, but it’s a pleasant drive through farmland with occasional views of the Columbia River Valley before joining up with Route 28 near Rock Island.
It was nice having a day off.
And I guess I have a pretty good deal: I only have to work when the weather is bad, so I always have nice weather on my day off!
TV to Go
I get my Daily Show fix.
I’m not a big fan of television. It’s the universal pacifier and the majority of current programming is so mindless that I think it can do more harm than good. But there is one television program I try hard not to miss: The Daily Show. I find Jon Stewart’s news commentary both eye opening and extremely entertaining. In fact, when the writers’ strike was in full-swing, it was the only program I missed.
At home, I watch The Daily Show via DVR (digital video recorder, like TiVo, that’s built into our Dish Network satellite receiver). Not only can I store them away until I have time to watch them, but I can fast-forward through the commercials. (I really hate watching commercials. What a complete waste of time!) But here in Quincy, where I’m spending the summer in my camper, I don’t have a television at all. And after a week of withdrawal from the Daily Show, I decided to do something about it.
While I can go to Comedy Central’s Web site and view entire episodes online, my funky, unreliable Internet connection makes that positively painful. Too many pauses! So I broke down and bought a “season pass” on the iTunes Store. For $9.99, I can get the next 16 episodes of The Daily Show downloaded directly to iTunes. Even though my Internet connection fades in and out, iTunes keeps track of where the connection broke and resumes the download from that point. So I can actually download an episode over several Internet sessions. I can then watch the episodes at my leisure.
I should mention here that I’m a bit of a news junkie. The stereo in my camper is almost always tuned into NPR. While NPR gives one view of the news, it’s great to be able to supplement it with Jon Stewart’s take on current events.
Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: Fuel Tank Edition
How two companies make things harder and another tries to fix their problems.
While most folks seem very impressed with the income potential of my summer cherry drying gigs this year, no one seems to have considered the startup costs of this endeavor. Sure, I already had the helicopter, but there were other investments necessary to get started this first season. For example, I had to cough up another $8K for insurance that would cover cherry drying (and I’ll have to do this every year), $800 for a helmet, and another $150 for a Nomex flight suit. I also had to buy a pickup truck and have a fuel tank and pump installed.
The Truck and Tank
If you follow this blog, you already know about my new old truck. It’s a 1994 Ford F150 with 4WD. It has just enough power to pull my travel trailer and its short bed was just large enough to fit a DOT-legal fuel tank between the wheel wells and the cab.
On the recommendation of another cherry drying pilot, I purchased an 82-gallon tank from Company X. (No, that’s not their real name. The average reader here doesn’t need to know. I can provide specifics to people who really need it.) Two of the features of this tank were a built-in suction pipe and a cutout notch that positioned the fuel pump below the tank’s top. Rather than buy the pump, hose, and nozzle that my friend bought, I though I’d make it easy by buying the complete pump/hose/nozzle setup that Company X sold with it. To my way of thinking, this would guarantee that the pieces all fit together and that they’d work. The pump setup was made by Company Y. Then, to make sure it was all set up properly with the special aviation fuel filter I needed, I figured I’d get it set up by a company that specialized in aviation fuel systems, Company Z based in nearby Peoria, AZ.
Mike and I ordered the tank and other parts and took delivery of it. We then spent most of a morning installing the tank on the truck. It required a lot of drilling through the truck bed and the purchase of extra long bolts because of the bed mats in the back of the truck. Mike did an excellent job. That 300+ pound tank wasn’t going anywhere without the truck.
Company Z Installs the Pump
I made an appointment with Company Z to get the pump, etc. installed with a filter and grounding cable. I was told to bring it down in the morning.
I should comment here that I know the owner of Company Z. He had done some work for us at Wickenburg Airport when I owned the FBO. I never had any complaints about his work. We’d always gotten along well and I felt comfortable giving him my business.
I made the 40-mile drive and was introduced to the guy who would be doing the work. I dont’ remember his name. We’ll call him Joe. He seemed a bit goofy, but I didn’t think anything about it. I asked him how long it would take and he said, “a few hours.” We talked about testing it afterward by driving it over to Glendale Airport and filling it up with AvGas.
There was a strip mall nearby and one of the women who worked there kindly drove me over. I figured I’d spend the waiting time picking up a few things for my trip.
About 30 minutes later, Joe called. He was done. I was shocked. He said he’d come pick me up and I told him where I was. But when he arrived, it was in his truck, not mine. I thought we’d go right to GEU to test it out, but apparently, he wanted to go back to his workshop first.
Good thing we did. All he did was put the pump and hose and flow meter on the tank. The aviation fuel filter, which is what I’d come there primarily to get, was not installed. The static line wasn’t installed either. He’d basically done everything that Mike and I could have done on our own.
I held my temper and reminded him that I’d come for the fuel filter and static line. That he hadn’t done anything that we couldn’t have done ourselves.
“Oh,” he said. “I was wondering why you came to us.”
Evidently, there was no internal communication in the company. Rather than ask me what I wanted, he just assumed that I wanted the pump pieces in the box I’d brought installed.
I waited in the office while he installed the filter and a static line with a clip. He came out multiple times to ask me about the size of the filter (there were two sizes), the length of the static line, the type of clip, and whether I wanted a reel for the hose or the line. Each time he came out to ask a question, I felt a little more of my patience slipping away. I’d been there more than two hours. I’d come down to get the system professionally installed and wasn’t happy about the work being done by someone who appeared to be a moron.
So when he finished and tried to sell me stickers for the tank that didn’t fit, I was ready to get out of there. The installation looked fine. I was not interested in spending any more time with him. I was also not interested in putting 82 gallons of AvGas into a tank that I’d be driving 1300 miles. I thanked him and asked about payment. I was told I’d be billed. He asked if I wanted to test it and I told him I didn’t.
That was my second mistake with Company Z. The first mistake had been going to them in the first place, as you’ll see shortly.
For the record, Joe never told me that it was company policy to test all installations. He didn’t press me to test it at all. He seemed perfectly happy that I was going to leave without testing it.
We [Try to] Test the Tank
Before leaving Wickenburg, Mike and I attempted to test the tank. I had some fuel in gas cans in my hangar that I needed to use up, so we poured that in. The pump wouldn’t suck. We added another 10 gallons. The pump still wouldn’t suck. We looked at the manual and followed the instructions for priming the pump. It still wouldn’t suck. We assumed that the pump wouldn’t suck because there wasn’t enough fuel in the tank to prime it properly. Since I wasn’t prepared to lug 82 gallons of AvGas up to Washington State, we stopped testing.
It turned out, we were wrong.
I [Try to] Fill the Tank
Fast forward a week or so. It’s Thursday I’ve settled in at the campground in Quincy, WA and my cherry drying contracts are due to start within a few days. I needed to fill the tank. I drove out to Ephrata where there’s a bulk fuel provider who has been recommended to me by (oddly enough) the same pilot who advised me on the tank. I set up an account, then pulled over to the pump to get filled up. I already had 20 gallons in the tank from my aborted tests. When the meter said they’d added another 53.1 gallons, we noticed that fuel was leaking out of the fitting between the pump and the tank.
Leaking is actually a weak word. It was almost gushing out. All over the back of my truck. Fuel that I was paying $5.35/gallon for.
They stopped pumping and got some spill rags to soak it up. I hurriedly paid up. They gave me the information for a guy in Moses Lake, which is 18 miles south, who could fix it. I stopped at an auto parts store and got a 5-gallon plastic gas can. I used a siphon hose that I happened to have in the truck to suck 5 gallons out so the fuel level was below the leaky fitting. Then I drove down to Moses Lake.
How Company Z Screwed Up
The guy in Moses Lake, Don, removed the pump and laughed. “Here’s part of your problem,” he said. And he pointed to the bright red plastic plug in the bottom of the pump — the plug that Moron Joe had neglected to remove when he installed the pump. “And there should be a gasket or something here,” he said, pointing inside the fitting. We looked at the paperwork for the tank and pump. There’s an exploded view parts diagram. Sure enough, the gasket that’s supposed to go inside the fitting was missing.
So much for a professional installation by a company that should know how to get the job done right.
Don went through his stock of gaskets and tried to find one that would fit. He found one, slipped it in, fastened it down, and tried the pump. It still leaked.
I got on the phone and called Company Y, the maker of the pump. I told them that the gasket was not installed and that I’m not sure whether it’s because the moron who set up the pump lost it or it was never in the box. It’s a $1.20 part. I offered a credit card. The guy on the phone said he’ll just mail it to me. I gave him my General Delivery address in Quincy and hung up.
Don put a cap where the pump should go so I wouldn’t lose any more fuel. We laid the pump assembly in the bed of the truck, wrapping the spill rags around it. I paid Don $53 for his time and started the 50-mile drive back to Quincy.
How Company Z Loses Me as a Customer
I called my contact at Company Z to complain about his moron worker. I had to leave a message. When he called back, he was on the offensive. He claimed that it’s company policy to test all installations. He claimed that his guy had said I insisted on leaving without testing it.
I told him that wasn’t the case, that his guy had never told me it was company policy. I also told him that his guy was a moron for leaving the plug in. Then I said, “I can see where this is going. You don’t give a shit about this. Don’t expect to hear from me again.”
His response: “Thanks.”
My comeback cannot be printed.
Too bad I paid them promptly. Between the $250+ I’d paid them, the $53 I paid Don, the 3 to 5 gallons of AvGas I’d lost, and the fuel for the drive to Moses Lake and back, he’d cost me close to $400 — and the system didn’t work.
How Company X Screwed Up
The post office in Quincy is closed on Saturday. On Monday, the gasket still hadn’t arrived. I called Company Y to confirm that they’ve sent it.
I talked to another guy, Brian. After a discussion of the situation, he said, “Is the pump lower than the top of the tank?”
I confirmed that it is.
“Well, that pump isn’t designed to be mounted below the tank fill level. The gasket is designed to prevent leakage due to sloshing, not to the pressure of fuel above it.”
And that’s when I realized that Company X had sold me a pump that wasn’t designed to work with their tank.
Brian and I discussed this some more. He asked me questions about the tank configuration. He seemed surprised that there was a built-in suction tube and that the connection at the top of the outflow was male threaded rather than female threaded. I think that for a few minutes, he simply didn’t believe me. But after I answered a few more questions, he realized that I did indeed know what I was talking about. He asked for the phone number for Company X and I gave it to him.
How Company Y [Hopefully] Saves the Day
My cherry-drying contract requires that I have fuel available at my base. Fortunately, the cherry blocks for my early contracts are only 12-14 miles from Wenatchee, where there’s fuel at the airport. I can carry 3 hours worth of fuel in the helicopter. Until I got the tank fixed, I figured that I’d top off the tank in the helicopter and then refuel at Wenatchee when I needed to. So I flew the helicopter to Ephrata, which is only 15 miles from Quincy Airport, and topped off the tanks. It was a .2 hour flight back to Quincy, so I still had nearly 3 hours of fuel on board.
Tuesday was rainy and cold. I spent most of the morning at the airport, ready to pull out the helicopter and launch if I got a call from a grower. That didn’t happen. But I did get a call from Brian at Company Y.
He’d spoken extensively with both the support people at Company X and his own technicians. They’d decided that if I added a second, different type of gasket to the fitting, the pump should fit without leaking. He was sending me the two gaskets that day.
As I type this, the gaskets have still not arrived. It’s only Wednesday, though. I expect them to get here tomorrow. (Fortunately, the weather looks great for the next few days, so I don’t expect to need to fly.) I’m pretty sure they’ll work. I’m also pretty sure that if they don’t, I can depend on Company Y for further assistance.
Tip of the hat to them. Wag of the finger to the others.
George W. Bush Resume
Is all this stuff really true?
I got this from my friend, Ray. It’s tragic to think that this might really be true.
I will be available in January 2009, am willing to relocate.
R E S U M E
GEORGE “DUBYA” BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been ‘lost’ and is not available.Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.
I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My ‘poorest millionaire, ‘Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.
I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspector’s access to U.S. ‘prisoners of war’ detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election)
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August.
I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families i n wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear ‘Tactical Bunker Buster,’ a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.