Tag Archives: humor

I’m Not MIA

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Just away on a business trip, working 14-hour days.

And no, I’m not complaining. They put me in a hotel on the harbor with about 1,000 boats right out my window. Today, I walked from my hotel room to the ocean, then had a fresh seafood dinner that I did not share with seagulls. On the way back to my room, I watched a great blue heron pluck a fish out of the water and swallow it.

Nope. No complaints here.

Anyway, I’m working on a WordPress-related project and, to do so, I had to find a bunch of sample WordPress blogs. One of them is just too funny not to share: Sir Satire’s Weblog. Don’t hesitate — go there right now and read it. It’s hilarious. Like another version of The Onion.

For example, today’s blog post is titled “Tax on human gas emissions gains support in Congress” begins:

A tax on human gas emissions has gained the support of at least one member of Congress, but critics are blasting the proposal and say that its proponents are just full of hot air.

Proponents of the “flatutax,” as it has been dubbed by critics, say that human emissions are often overlooked when discussing global warming issues. Human beings contribute greenhouse gases to the atmosphere during the digestive process, they say, and a tax would provide an incentive to curb those emissions.

Get the idea? Funny stuff!

Are you still here? You’re not going to read anything more interesting here, at least for a few days. Go on over and check out Sir Satire. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Basic Instructions

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When you need a good laugh.

Basic InstructionsI stumbled upon the Basic Instructions comic by Scott Meyer when I followed the Dilbert Blog by Scott Adams.

At the time, Adams had apparently taken Meyer “under his wing” and was trying to advise him on how to make his comic more marketable. (Read “Basic Instructions, Part 1” for more information.) Meyer was following his advice, which required a complete reformatting of the comic. The results were not impressive, although not bad. Obviously, Adams should know how to market a comic, since Dilbert is very popular. But Meyer’s comic was fine in its regular format.

In fact, Basic Instructions is one of the funniest comics I’ve ever read.

I’m not sure why it appeals to me so much. I think it’s because it’s just so incredibly cynical. The characters are all funny and share the punch lines. They say things I often wish I could say aloud to people. There’s usually a good laugh in every frame.

Oddly enough, I think it’s a lot funnier than Dilbert, which is delivered to my e-mail inbox every weekday.

I subscribe to the RSS feed for Basic Instructions, so it’s delivered to my RSS reader’s in box whenever I get around to launching it. This morning, I read through the last few comics and it really cheered me up considerably.

Has anyone out there read Basic Instructions? If so, what do you think?

Defining "Tragedy"

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More humor from the ‘Net.

Here’s another funny I got from a friend. I don’t know where he got it, but if this belongs to someone who doesn’t want it shared, let me know and I’ll pull it down.

George Bush and Dick Cheney, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.” So Mr. Cheney asks the class for an example of a “tragedy.”

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” said Mr. Cheney, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explained Mr. Bush. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Mr. Bush searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says, “If a plane carrying the President and Vice President of the United States were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaimed both men nearly in unison. Mr. Cheney continued “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says little Johnny, “because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”