Sound familiar?
I think the second and fourth panels on this excellent comic strip by Scott Meyer can easily be applied to Internet trolls — you know, the dickwads who always have something nasty to say in online forums and in comment threads. Do read the whole thing to get the full message.
Image embedded with the author’s permission.
Stop trying to pin the blame on others when you screw up.
I have to blog this because I’m pretty fired up about it.
This morning, I got an email message from a lawyer looking for an R44 “consultant”, someone who could
…educate us on the practical day to day operations of an R44. As a consultant, we would not reveal your name or association to anyone. We simply need someone to call when we have a question.
The email message provided enough information that I was able to track down the accident report for the accident the lawyer is working on. Although he didn’t say so, he made it pretty obvious that both Robinson Helicopter Company and the maker of the R44 Raven II’s “auxiliary” fuel pump could be targets of a legal action.
I read the accident report. Without going into details — in this instance, I want to protect the identifies of the parties involved — it was a pretty clear case of pilot errors in judgement and execution. As I summed it up in my email response:
The pilot elects to make an off-airport landing at very high density altitude to take a leak, starts to take off, then overreacts to a yellow caution light and tries to perform a run-on landing in rough terrain.
The helicopter rolled over and caught fire. The pilot and passenger were badly burned.
The details of the Full Narrative Probable Cause accident report paint a picture of a low-time private pilot who flies less than 100 hours a year making a very long cross-country flight in mountainous terrain. There’s evidence of poor flight planning and poor fuel management. But most evidence points to poor judgement on the part of the pilot. Nothing was wrong with the helicopter. It performed as expected in the situation it was put into. The pilot simply made a series of bad judgement calls.
How many times have I seen this in accident reports? Too many to count! The vast majority of aviation accidents are caused by pilot error. Period. This case is no different.
Yet there’s a lawyer involved and that means someone’s thinking about a lawsuit.
Sure, why not? Why not blame Robinson for not issuing [yet] another Safety Notice, specifically warning pilots about landing in mountain meadows at more than 10,000 feet density altitude? Why not blame them for allowing cockpit caution lights to illuminate when the pilot is operating close to rough terrain at maximum power? Why not blame them for not forcing pilots to tattoo emergency procedures on the back of their right hand so they can easily consult them during flight? And the pump manufacturer — why not blame them for making pumps that can have low pressure indications that trigger a caution light?
Why in the world would the pilot in command even consider taking the blame for the results of his own poor judgement?
Because it’s the right thing to do? Am I the only person who actually cares about silly things like that?
As I told the lawyer in my email response,
It sickens me that people can’t admit they made a mistake and get on with their lives. It sickens me that lawyers go after deep-pocket manufacturers to squeeze them for money when they are not at fault. Lawsuits like this are hurting our country, destroying small businesses like mine by jacking up expenses for insurance and equipment “improvements” we don’t really need.
Yes, it’s unfortunate that the helicopter crashed and the people inside it were burned. But it isn’t Robinson’s fault. And it isn’t the pump maker’s fault. The pilot needs to understand this and stop thinking about promises of big settlements. He needs to stop trying to blame others for his mistakes.
Do you think they’ll contact me again about being a consultant? Now that would be a bad judgement call indeed.
Note: If you plan to comment on this post, please limit your comments to the topic of inappropriate legal action. I will not approve any comments that attempt to discuss this particular accident or my summary of it. I assure you that my conclusions are fact-based; you can probably find the accident report if you try hard enough and judge for yourself. The last thing I need is for lawyers to start coming after me.
This scam targets small business owners in a particularly cruel way.
Stuff like this really pisses me off.
Today, among my usual crop of penis enhancement, prescription drug, and wristwatch spam, I got this gem from “Board of Review” with the subject “Flying M Air Receives 2011 Best of Wickenburg Award”:
I am pleased to announce that Flying M Air has been selected for the 2011 Best of Wickenburg Award in the Helicopter Charter & Tours category by the US Commerce Association (USCA).
I’m sure that your selection as a 2011 Award Winner is a reflection of the hard work of not only yourself, but of many people that have supported your business and contributed to the subsequent success of your organization. Congratulations on your selection to such an elite group of small businesses.
In recognition of your achievement, a special 2011 Best of Wickenburg Award has been designed for display at your place of business. You may arrange to have your award sent directly to Flying M Air by following the simple steps on the 2011 Best of Wickenburg Award order form. Simply copy and paste this link into your browser to access the order form: http://www.uscanotify.com/AC86-MHP4-XXX
The USCA “Best of Local Business” Award Program recognizes outstanding local businesses throughout the country. Each year, the USCA identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and community.
Also, a copy of the press release publicizing the selection of Flying M Air is posted on the USCA website. USCA hereby grants Flying M Air a non-exclusive, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, distribute, and display this press release in any media formats and through any media channels.
In order to provide you with the best possible service, you have been assigned an award code that can be used on our website for quick access to your award information and press release. If you have any questions or comments, please include this code with your correspondence.
Your Award Code is: C86-MHP4-XXX
To place your order over the phone – please call us at: 646-355-XXXX and select option 1.
Sincerely,
Kelly McCartney
Board of Review
US Commerce AssociationThe intended recipient of this notification is the Marketing Director for Flying M Air. If you have received this email in error please forward it to the intended recipient. If you do not wish to receive further advertisements from USCA, please mail a written request to: US Commerce Association, 5042 Wilshire Blvd #13854, Los Angeles, CA 90036 or simply click to opt-out.
Dig the groovy award image. Obviously, someone at the Board of Review knows how to use Photoshop.
This is a scam. No matter how legitimate the Web site for the “US Commerce Association” looks, the site exists solely to sell this idiotic award to businesses so desperate for recognition that they’ll believe and buy anything.
How do I know this? Well, explain to me how my company can be “best” of anything in a town where it doesn’t even operate anymore? A town where it was the only helicopter operator ever based there?
Indeed, the only traces of my business in Wickenburg are the sign on my hangar, my FAA-required files, and my mailing address. Even my helicopter is there less than half the year. I haven’t done a tour out of Wickenburg in over a year. My business is licensed in Phoenix.
I especially like the line “I’m sure that your selection as a 2011 Award Winner is a reflection of the hard work of not only yourself, but of many people that have supported your business and contributed to the subsequent success of your organization.” Local support for my business? In Wickenburg? I cannot tell you how many times I was screwed over by the local Chamber of Commerce and people at Town Hall every time I tried to do something to grow my business or help the community. From participation at the annual Fly-In event to the construction of an office on the airport premises, the town has fought me tooth and nail, showing me just how much they didn’t want me or my business in town. Even when I got the contract for the airport FBO back in 2002, they tried to tell me how to run my business — even going so far as to tell me what I could and couldn’t blog about. Can you say censorship? And when I did a golf ball drop without pay to help raise money for football uniforms, the person who hired me had the nerve to ridicule me behind my back at a Rotary meeting because it took us two tries to get the balls near the cup.
I got the hint. I only wish I’d gotten it sooner; I’m doing much better now that I’ve left Wickenburg’s bullshit behind.
And that line only proves how unreal this whole award is. It’s not based on anything. It’s fiction, written for gullible people who want to believe it’s true.
Yet across the country, thousands of other small business owners have probably received virtually identical email messages this morning. Many of them are struggling for survival in a tough economy. Some of them will seize upon this award as a chance to differentiate themselves from their competition. Many of them won’t even question the likelihood of this being real —they’ll take it on face value, buy the award (or maybe several of them to place in strategic places around the office), and feel like they’ve actually achieved something. Meanwhile, nothing will change except their bank account balances; they’ll continue to struggle, just like before. And the money that they spent on that award could probably have been used for better purposes, like paying suppliers and employees.
So yes, this morning’s scam pissed me off. It reminded me not only of my bad decision to move to and set up shop in Wickenburg, but the desperation of small business owners in general, and the slimy bastards that prey upon them.
You want an award like this? Go to a trophy shop and have one made. It’ll be just as legitimate as this one — and a hell of a lot cheaper.
A few random thoughts that I don’t have the time — or perhaps desire — to blog more fully about.
It’s shameful the way the media has turned 9/11 into a day that requires viewers/listeners to relive every moment of 9/11/01. What’s even more shameful is the way advertisers are selling during this media circus. I’m not the only one who feels this way. There must be a better way to honor the people who died that day.
Not everyone who died on 9/11/01 was a “hero.” Some were victims. Think about it.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The terrorists have won. They have changed our lifestyle, forced our government to take away many of our civil liberties (i.e., freedoms), and caused us to start costly wars that we simply cannot win. The only way we can defeat them is to restore our freedoms, abandon efforts in the Middle East, and protect our country from within, using smart intelligence tactics. Sadly, I don’t think we’re capable, as a people, of doing any of that.
Damaged discs and idiotic customer service.
Last night, I canceled my Netflix account. I hadn’t intended on doing so when I called customer service, but it’s the bullshit I encountered on the phone that made the decision easy for me.
I had a Netflix DVD-only account. Well, until recently, I had a Netflix unlimited three DVD plus streaming account. But when Netflix decided to split the two types of service and charge customers for each of them separately, I did away with streaming. After all, I’m living in an RV and get all my Internet access via a MyFi wireless device with a 10GB per month cap. Streaming video with my setup is not only impractical, but stupid and costly.
Of course, since I’m parked on the edge of a cliff overlooking a valley, I don’t have cable TV. And I don’t have a satellite dish. And my antenna picks up about 6 television stations. My inability to get live television doesn’t bother me much since I simply cannot tolerate commercials. At home, any TV I watch is via DVR with the remote in my hand. Here, I catch up on television series — normally a few years after the show has aired — via DVD. Hence, the Netflix account.
The trouble is, it’s gotten to the point where more than half the discs I receive from Netflix are damaged. Although I’ve had a few cracked discs, more often, the damage is scratches that cause the video to lock up, skip, and do other annoying things. While I’m willing to accept an occasional annoyance — perhaps once every month or so — when every second disc that arrives is screwed up, I run out of patience.
Last night, it came to a head. I received my third damaged disc in a row and I wasn’t satisfied with checking a few boxes on the Netflix Web site. It was pretty obvious that they were ignoring the check boxes. It was time to make some noise, to vent.
Calling Netflix customer service works like this:
Of course, the longer I wait on hold, the more annoyed I get. So even the calming voice of the guy answering the phone at Netflix customer service at 10 PM on a Monday night wasn’t enough to cool me off. I immediately went into a rant about the number of damaged discs I was getting and how completely unreasonable it was. I wanted them to note my complaint on my customer record and tell me what they could do for me about it.
He made various sympathetic noises and told me how sorry he was. And then he did something that pushed me over the edge: he asked for my name.
“I just entered a six-digit number that appeared onscreen for my account while logged into Netflix. Doesn’t it pull up my name?”
“Yes, it does,” he confirmed. “But I need you to verify it.”
This made no sense to me. “But I’m logged into my account. My name appears at the top of the screen. Even if I wasn’t the account holder, I could easily read that name off the screen.”
“I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
“But I verified my name when I punched in those six digits.”
“No, that just brought up your account. I need you to verify your name.”
“But the only way I could get those six digits was to be logged into my account.”
“I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
“You’re reading off a script.”
“No, I’m not,” he said. He must have been lying. Then he repeated, “I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
I cannot begin to explain how angry this conversation was making me. “I refuse to play this game,” I told him. “I have proven who I am by entering that code. I will not allow you to drag me into your game.”
“It’s not a game,” he said. “I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
“I want to talk to a supervisor.”
A pause. I guess he punched the button to bring up the screen that tells him what to say when a customer asks to speak to a supervisor. “I can see if a supervisor is available, but I’m sure I can help you.”
“But you won’t.”
“I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
“I want a supervisor.”
“I’ll see if one is available. I need to put you on hold.”
“Fine.”
He put me on hold. More of the same crappy hold music. Each minute that ticked by made me angrier. I was so sick of playing bullshit customer service games. I’m not an idiot. I don’t like being treated like one. By this point, I was already beginning to think that my Netflix account wasn’t worth the headache it was giving me that night.
About three minutes later, he came back on the phone. “I have a supervisor on the line. I’ll conference you in.”
“Fine.”
The supervisor came on the phone. He introduced himself as Daniel — I think; do I really care? He came right to the point: “Can you tell me your name?”
“Sure,” I said. “I can tell you my name. But I won’t.”
“I need you to verify your name before I can help you.”
“You have my name on the screen right in front of you. I typed in a code so that screen would appear. I don’t see any reason to tell you my name when I’ve already verified my identity by entering that code, which could only appear for my account.”
“I can’t help you unless you verify your name.”
He made the decision for me: “Then cancel my account,” I said.
“I’d be happy to cancel your account if you’d give me your name.”
Maybe he thought he was being funny. I didn’t think so.
“Well, since I’m already logged into my account, I’ll just cancel it myself.”
I hung up and clicked the Cancel Membership link. I then filled in the survey to indicate that the reason I was canceling was that there were too many damaged discs and I had a problem with customer service.
Does Netflix care that it lost a customer due to its bullshit customer service scripts? I’m sure it doesn’t. And I think that’s part of the problem.
Companies don’t care about their customers anymore. All they care about is collecting our fees and providing the minimal service they can for what we pay. They make us jump through hoops when we want to contact them — get online, log in, navigate to a screen, dial a number, enter a secret code, wait, and then repeat information they don’t need. I’m tired of it, I’m tired of paying for inferior service and then facing aggravation when I want to complain.
So I’m done with Netflix.
I’m probably better off without Netflix. I certainly will save some money. And the time I don’t spend staring at the idiot box is time better spent reading or writing or even doing crossword puzzles. Stuff that might actually improve my brain instead of sedating it.
I am pleased to announce that Flying M Air has been selected for the 2011 Best of Wickenburg Award in the Helicopter Charter & Tours category by the US Commerce Association (USCA).