Take a moment to question why you’re on social media, what you gain (or lose) from your involvement, and how you can make your life better with or without it.

I’ve been a very active user of social media since around 2006 or 2007. I might have started with MySpace — who can remember back then? — but I definitely jumped on the bandwagon at Twitter and Facebook, spending well over an hour almost every day scrolling through new content, clicking Like and Share and Retweet buttons, and posting content of my own.

I preferred Twitter because the people I interacted with there seemed smarter and more dialed into reality. Not that there weren’t good, smart people on Facebook and idiotic assholes on Twitter. There definitely were.

But the difference between Facebook and Twitter — at least in my world — is that most of the Facebook folks were real-world friends and the Twitter folks were strangers. It’s hard to see posts from friends and relatives that clearly indicate their racist, homophobic, white suprematist, or conspiracy theory views. It’s hard to see them lose their minds to manipulative memes that spur hate and anger. It’s hard to realize that they probably aren’t as smart as I’d hoped they were.

And that’s one of the reasons I dumped Facebook a few years ago — the other being the realization that the algorithm was feeding me crap and preventing my posts from being displayed to friends and followers — and haven’t looked back.

I’m on the verge of fully stepping away from Twitter now. It has become a hate-filled cesspool so full of paid-for misinformation and random advertising that I honestly don’t know how folks can still visit it regularly. Elon Musk has revealed to the world what an absolutely crappy businessman he is, first by overpaying for Twitter and then by instituting policies that, little by little, have been alienating long-time users to the point that they’re leaving in droves.

The writing on the wall for me was Musk’s changing of the verified checkmark, which always indicated that an account had been verified to be what it said it was, to be some sort of revenue generating badge. What I quickly came to learn when I was stripped of my blue check was that anyone who now had a blue check had paid to get it and obviously had some sort of revenue generating agenda that made all of their tweets questionable.

In the 15 years I’d been a Twitter user, it had changed dramatically. I stepped away in November 2022, shifting my focus on Mastodon and the Fediverse for my social networking needs. I’m now in the process of deleting my 147,000 (not a typo) tweets and may even permanently delete my Twitter account.

Avoiding the Mind-Rotting Crap on Social Media

But is Mastodon any better? I can argue that it is, mostly because there’s no algorithm to manipulate and no ads to distract.

But I think the main reason Mastodon has been a breath of fresh air for me is the simple fact that I absolutely refuse to be dragged into any discussions about topics that generate a negative emotional response. Those include (but are not limited to) politics, climate change, gender issues, and race issues. Of course, all of those fall under the broad umbrella of politics in the U.S. because everything in this country of idiots has been politicized.

How do I avoid these topics? By setting up filters that prevent toots with specific key words from appearing in my feed. By not following — or sometimes even muting or blocking — accounts that toot or boost about these topics.

And that’s the problem these days. People spend too much time spreading information that supports their opinions on these matters. They don’t care if the information is true or false or some mixture of the two. They don’t care if it generates hate or anger — in fact, I believe they want it to do just that. Make us angry, make us hate the “other side.” Make us want to share the same crap and perpetuate the same anger and hate.

People who share this don’t seem the care — or maybe even realize — that they’re pushing the Us vs. Them mentality that keeps Americans divided and easy to conquer by power-hungry politicians and the corporate lobbyists who feed them in return for subsidies and favors. They’re playing right into the hands of the people who are destroying us for their own benefit.

And I won’t be a part of it.

Social Media is Not My News Source

And no, I’m not living with my head in the sand. I am probably more aware of what’s going on in the world than the idiot who gets all of his or her information from social media.

I listen to two news brief podcasts every morning — First Up on NPR and The Seven from the Washington Post — that give me the headlines and a little more; I follow up when I want to by visiting reputable news sites. I follow news, not opinion — I don’t need someone to think for me. I can think for myself. I suspect that most Americans can’t anymore. Our education system no longer teaches us how.

Is Social Media Destroying Your Mind?

But do we really need social networking? Do we really need to communicate with strangers online?

I can argue either way, but I will say this: face to face relationships with other people are far better for us than communicating with often anonymized strangers in the ether. Knowing this has pushed me into being more socially active after Covid and my crazy travel schedule pushed me into an ever more hermit-like existence.

I live alone and work mostly at home, so I don’t get the kind of interaction during the day that most folks have. I lean on social media for content by others to stimulate my mind and get me thinking about things I normally wouldn’t think about. I build relationships with some of these people. They are, for the most part, my only option when I’m home. And they’re a plausible option for anyone in a similar situation.

The danger is when we let these people think for us or sway our opinions or get into our heads to the point where they’re manipulating our emotions.

If you spend a lot of time on social media, why not take a few moments to think about its affect on you? Put aside your phone and other distractions, take out a sheet of paper and a pen, and honestly answer the following questions:

• Why am I on social media? What does it do to benefit me?
• Do I use social media as an escape from what’s going on around me?
• Does my social media activity make me happy? What about it makes me happy?
• Does my social media activity make me angry? What about it makes me angry?
• Do I learn anything on social media? Am I certain that what I learned is true?
• Why do people I follow share what they do? What are their intentions?
• Why do I share what I do on social media? What are my intentions?
• Am I building relationships with the people I meet on social media?
• Am I seeing what I want to see on social media?
• How much time do I spend, on average, every day on social media? Is it time well spent or would some or all of that time be better spent doing something else?
• Am I neglecting responsibilities because social media is taking up too much of my time?
• What can I do to make social media more fulfilling or useful?
• What can I do to make social media take up less of my time?

I did say to answer those honestly, right? This isn’t something anyone else will ever see. Be honest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers. Hopefully, the answers you come up with will help you understand how your use of social media affects you and how you can make it better.

Time Wasted

I wish that I could somehow get back all the time I spent doomscrolling on Twitter and Facebook — especially Facebook, since for about two years it really sucked me in hard. There was a time when every idle moment was spent with my phone in my hand trying to see what was going on in an online world that was prioritized by computers for the sheer purpose of keeping us coming back for more.

But I can’t.

These days, I see myself leaning on Mastodon the same way. I enjoy my experience there more because of the way I’ve fine-tuned it and because of the people I’ve met. But I’ve come to realize that it, like Twitter and Facebook, are sucking away my time, making me less productive. So I’m going to dial back a bit, limiting access to specific times of the morning and evening. Time is limited and I simply can’t afford to waste it on things that don’t matter.

Can you?