Honestly, given the situation, what else would you call it?
Here’s the late great Zero-Mike-Lima parked out in the Arizona desert in March 2007.
I moved my business from Phoenix and Wickenburg, Arizona to Washington state back in 2013. Since then, the helicopter (my old one, technically) has been back in Arizona only once: for 4 months in the winter of 2016/17 to get its overhaul. It was in pieces for most of that time. I picked it up that February, flew it locally for about a week just to revisit my old haunts and give friends rides, and then took it to California for a frost contract. From there, it went home.
(I bought my new old one in Arizona in April and flew it home the next day.)
When I moved to Washington state, I updated my company website to remove all mention of the flights I do in Arizona. Why? Because I don’t fly in Arizona anymore.
I still occasionally get calls from people wanting me to take them to the Grand Canyon or fly them around Lake Powell. They claim they found one of my brochures or saw me listed on a website for helicopter tours in the area. They didn’t bother checking the website.
Today’s email message, however, sent to me via a form on my company website, takes the cake:
I have to have surgery in Phoenix and I live in Wickenburg AZ. the doctor doesn’t want me to travel for two weeks by road back home. We have friends in PHX, but it would put a strain on our friendship, plus I have a business in my home that I need to attend to.
Would you consider flying me to Phoenix and then back to Wickenburg? And if so, how much would it cost me?
After reading it three times to see what I was missing, I composed the following response:
Sure, I’d do it. But since the helicopter and I now live in Washington State (where we’ve been since January 2013), it would cost quite a bit. It’s about a 10-hour flight just to get to Phoenix from here, an hour for your flight, and then 9 hours to get back to Washington from Wickenburg. 20 hours at $595/hour? Even if I gave you a nice discount, I couldn’t take a penny less than $10,000. You could take a nice 2 week vacation at the Biltmore in Phoenix for that.
Sorry to be such a smartass, but you contacted me via a form on my website and I’m pretty sure my website makes it clear that I no longer operate in Arizona.
Good luck finding a local ride.
No, I didn’t send it. No need to make her feel as foolish as she is. I figure she’ll either forget about me or call. But it definitely is blog-worthy.
And can someone explain to me how her doctor would approve a helicopter ride but not a car ride?
Maybe she should call LifeNet.
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The sad part is that the Lifenet flight would probably be more expensive, even though Phoenix and the surrounding area is blanketed with EMS helicopters. I’ve seen an increasing number of articles and editorials commenting/complaining about the sky-high cost of EMS transport via helicopter. Given the relentless downward pressure on medical costs in state and federal budgets, I would not be at all surprised if the HEMS business finds itself on the chopping block.
I’ve been out of the air-evac business for over a decade now, but I can’t help but notice that there are a LOT more medical helicopters out there than there used to be. They’re certainly not evenly distributed, the big population centers seem over-serviced while rural areas haven’t changed all that much. There’s a fundamental unfairness about that, especially seeing as so many rural health care centers and hospitals have closed.
I think you’re right about all that. When I had my crash, they actually launched a helicopter to come get me — and I was only 7 miles from the nearest hospital! How absurd is that? I can only imagine what that short trip would have cost me; the ambulance was $3K. Maybe police dispatchers are getting a commission?